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NINE SIMPLE WAYS TO BECOME YOUR BEST VERSION
A guide to self-awareness and self-liberation
Written by:
Innocent Mashiloane
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DISCLAIMER
This guide is uncopyrighted. No permission is required to reprint, copy, republish, reuse, remix,
review, quote or enjoy the text of this guide. This guide does not discriminate based on gender,
religious affiliation, race, sexuality, nationality, culture or age and can be used by anyone from
anywhere in the world. This guide is not for sale.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page
DISCLAIMER ......................................................................................................................... III
INTRODUCTION...................................................................................................................... 1
1. SHIFT YOUR MINDSET.................................................................................................. 2
2. TAKE 150% RESPONSIBILITY...................................................................................... 6
3. FORGIVE AND FORGET ................................................................................................ 9
4. ELIMINATE FEAR......................................................................................................... 11
5. LOVE YOURSELF A 150% ........................................................................................... 14
6. LEARN, LEARN AND LEARN ..................................................................................... 16
7. STOP BEING A VICTIM................................................................................................ 17
8. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS ......................................................................................... 19
9. MODEL YOUR BEST VERSION .................................................................................. 21
BONUS CHAPTER: MEDITATION TECHNIQUES............................................................ 22
5. 1
INTRODUCTION
Dear reader,
Thank you for taking time to read this guide. This guide is meant to give you direction and
guide you from where you are to where you want to be. Many of us often try very hard to change
our circumstances but are not willing to change ourselves simply because we have been
conditioned to believe that changing our surroundings is more important than changing
ourselves. I have observed that many of us do not have a strong relationship with ourselves
which often results in our lack of fulfilment and not living our best lives. Building a good
relationship with yourself means understanding yourself fully and this may sometimes be hard
for most of us.
In this guide, I look at ways in which you can become the best version of yourself. I would
advise that you read the steps in order from first to last. I have also included a bonus chapter,
which consists of meditation techniques to help you in your journey.
I hope this guide helps you in your journey of self-discovery and self-liberation and I hope you
can use it whenever you lose track or feel derailed.
With love,
Innocent
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1. SHIFT YOUR MINDSET
The Oxford English Dictionary defines mindset as “a set of established attitudes which an
individual holds”. The reason why I consider this the first way to becoming your ideal self has
to do with the importance of shifting your mindset before venturing into any of your endeavours
or desires. Mindset shifting can play a huge role in ensuring that you start viewing your life,
surroundings, friends, family and all that is important to you in a different light. It is imperative
to use the word “shift” instead of “change” since there exists only two sets of mindsets i.e. a
fixed mindset and a growth mindset and we can only shift from one to the other. Individuals
with a fixed mindset and those with a growth mindset behave differently and their outlooks of
life differs in many ways than one.
Types of Mindsets
As I have articulated above, there are two types of mindsets, the fixed mindset and the growth
mindset. It is important to distinguish between the two and to know which mindset is most
dominant in your life. Let us look closely into the different mindsets.
Fixed mindset
Just as the name suggests, something that is “fixed” is immobile, stagnant, at rest and not
changing overtime. Since a mindset is an attitude or a set of attitudes, having a fixed mindset
can imply having a stagnant attitude, which is somewhat allergic to change. That is one way to
define a fixed mindset. People with a fixed mindset are people who are somehow conservative
in their way of life, they resist change in every way possible. These are the types of individuals
who believe intelligence is static and avoid learning new things or new ways of doing things.
Individuals with a fixed mindset invest less time in trying new things in their lives.
In short, fixed mindset individuals are run by fear. They enjoy being in the comfort zone and
they avoid challenges. These types of people spend more time trying to look smart than actually
being smart. Although there are quite a number of smart individuals with a fixed mindset, their
intelligence tends to deteriorate overtime because they do not invest in learning new stuff.
Mostly people with a fixed mindset are not even aware of their fixed mindset. Having a fixed
mindset can be problematic since it can rob you the opportunity to improve your life through
learning new things that could possibly bring you joy and happiness.
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The following are some of the characteristics of fixed mindset individuals:
• They invest in looking smart
• They avoid change
• They are not willing to learn new things
• They do not believe in hard work and effort to produce good results
• They believe intelligence is static
• They believe people are only born with talent and talent can never be developed
• They are conservative
• They avoid challenges
• They enjoy the comfort zone
The traits I listed above are not all but a few, which I think, are mostly dominant in fixed mindset
individuals. It is quite clear that a fixed mindset is not desirable if you are a person who is
hungry for success and abundance.
Growth mindset
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine yourself planting a seed and seeing the plant or tree
grow overtime as you constantly water the soil on top. Now think of that plant as your mind
and the jug of water as knowledge, as you continue to add more knowledge to your mind, it
grows and you become wiser and intelligent. I choose to define a growth mindset using that
analogy. As opposed to a fixed mindset, a growth mindset is not stagnant or stationery, it
changes overtime. Individuals with a growth mindset move with the times, they constantly
adapt to the ever-changing universe.
They embrace change as a positive catalyst, one that can be used at any given time in their lives.
Growth mindset individuals love challenges because they learn from them. Hard work is their
way of reaching greater heights. People with a growth mindset are synonymous with success,
joy, happiness, abundance and fulfilment because of their consistent persistence and an
everlasting zeal for effort. The following are some of the traits they possess:
• They embrace change
• They put effort and they work hard
• They enjoy learning new things
• They are open to new suggestions
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• They believe talent can be developed through hard work and effort
• They see challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow
• They believe in learning from past mistakes
• They believe that intelligence is not fixed and needs to be constantly nourished
• They believe practise makes perfect
The above characteristics depict a clear picture of the type of individuals who possess a growth
mindset. These are pioneers of change. We have all come across these types of individuals and
have witnessed their peace of mind and level of joy and happiness. Most people with a growth
mindset tend to soar to phenomenal heights in almost everything they do in their lives.
Shift from a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset
Deciding to read this guide is already a sign of a growth mindset. Taking decisive action
towards shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset is the first step to becoming the best
version of yourself. As we have seen, fixed mindset individuals are usually trapped in their own
little world filled with fearful thoughts and beliefs which tend to slow their progress in life. By
now, you are in a position to easily identify whether you are a fixed or growth mindset
individual. Many of us are somehow reluctant to identify ourselves as having a fixed mindset
and that denial alone proves the existence of our fixed mindset.
Researchers in this field have found that most of us possess what they call mixed mindset. A
mixed mindset involves having a fixed mindset in some areas of your life and a growth mindset
in other areas. However, although most of us can have a mixed mindset, one can have
predominantly either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. From today, introspect yourself and
identify all the areas of your life that have a fixed mindset.
Learn to invest most of your time improving your knowledge, skills and talents. Try on new
things, things you have never done before, things that will move you out of your comfort zone.
Open your mind to new suggestions and always listen before you talk. Research more often to
keep yourself updated. Remember that intelligence is not static, it changes or deteriorates
overtime hence, it is important to constantly equip yourself with knowledge through learning
daily. Fixed mindsets will always make their way to you whenever you try to grow and it is
therefore important to identify whenever fixed mindsets try to sneak into your life. Fixed
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mindsets usually come in the form of fearful or negative thoughts or people who try to feed
their fixed mindsets to you. Go ahead and shift your mindset from a fixed one to a growth one.
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2. TAKE 150% RESPONSIBILITY
Sometimes, doing 100% of something is not enough, you just have to add an extra 50% to get
full results. The word Responsibility is made up of two words i.e. Response and Ability, which
helps us define responsibility as our ability to respond. There are many things we respond to on
a daily basis, this can vary from physical circumstances to our emotions (how we feel). Our
ability to respond to these circumstances determines whether we are responsible or
irresponsible. One of the biggest challenges with most of us is that we do not clearly define
things, this usually results in our not having enough clarity in what we are talking about or even
lacking understanding in certain things which we thought we knew about. It is therefore
important to know whenever you are being responsible or irresponsible.
To help you understand the concept of responsibility, I will use the following equation I adopted
from Jack Canfield’s Success Principles book:
C + R = O
In this equation, C stands for circumstances, R stands for response and O stands for outcome.
This equation states that whichever circumstances or events (C) you come across in your life;
it is your response (R) to these circumstances that will determine the outcome (O) you will get.
For example, oftentimes we hear people say, “He made me angry” or “She ruined my day”
which in fact is wrong since everything is a choice and you chose to be angry or ruined your
day. By choosing to respond in a positive way you could have avoided being angry. If someone
decides to insult you or utter negative words towards you, you can choose to either insult him
back or just walk away. By walking away, you would have gotten the outcome you desire and
still carry on with your day as if nothing happened or you could choose to return the negative
comments or even worse, start a fight, which would obviously ruin your day. Therefore, by
carefully choosing your responses (R) you can be able to consciously get the outcome you want
(O). In this way, you have taken full responsibility for your feelings or emotions.
This can be applied to many different circumstances or events. In life, we usually come across
individuals who are always happy or appear to be living their best life even if they are faced
with bad circumstances. These individuals have mastered the art of taking responsibility, by
choosing the responses they want, they get the outcome they want. This is evident with people
who are disabled or physically challenged but still manage to do extraordinary activities some
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of which physically enabled people fail to do such as the blade runner Oscar Prestorious and
Nick Vujicic who is a renowned author and motivational speaker born without limbs. These
individuals could have simply chose to do nothing and make their disability an excuse for their
lack of achievement but instead chose to respond positively to their circumstances and in turn
got a positive outcome.
You might be born in poverty or grow up in an abusive family all of which are harsh
circumstances, but these circumstances do not have the power to determine your outcome i.e.
your future. By simply changing the way in which you respond to these circumstances, you can
rise against all odds and become the person you want to be. Your surroundings should not define
who you are nor should they dictate your future. By understanding this, you will be in a position
to craft your own destiny and be the chief architect of your life.
From today, make it your duty to take full responsibility of your actions, emotions and mental
wellbeing. It is by taking responsibility on a daily basis that will make you immune to negative
energy or circumstances since you are the master of your responses i.e. you have a good ability
to respond to events that you come across in your life. Taking 150% responsibility is part of
becoming the best version of yourself.
Stop Blaming and Complaining
Oftentimes we do not want to take full responsibility because we blame other people or
circumstances for our outcomes. This is a form of defence mechanism we use to avoid facing
the consequences of our actions. It is important to realise that everything that is happening or
has previously happened in your life is a direct result of your actions. Many people find it hard
to blame themselves for everything that is happening in their lives, they will often find excuses
or ways to shift the blame. In the book From Poverty to Power by James Allen, he articulates
on how most of our sufferings in life are self-made and before we can actually realise this, we
are still far from escaping poverty. Part of taking full responsibility for your life is to stop
blaming totally. Whatever the case might be, always be conscious in the way you respond to
events or people. It is your responsibility to ensure that you are happy or peaceful at all times
and by ceasing to blame, you are a step closer to being a fully responsible individual.
Complaining can be very lethal to your life and should be avoided at all times. In the recent
times, we have adopted a culture of complaining where we complain about everything it can be
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the weather, the news, politics, people etc., the list is endless. Complaining is another form of
defence mechanism which uses comparison. Whenever you complain about something, it
simply implies that you know of something better than that which you are complaining about
for example, if I complain about hot weather it means I know of a cooler weather, heard I not
had this knowledge I would not be complaining in the first place, I would just tolerate the hot
weather. Furthermore, complaining always puts you in a position of judgement because you are
not part of what you are complaining about unless you are willing to come up with a solution.
Taking full responsibility means complaining less, acting more, and responding in a way that
will give you the outcome you desire so that never complain about anything.
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3. FORGIVE AND FORGET
Most of the burdens that we carry with ourselves are self-made i.e. we are the CEOs of most
our sufferings. In life, we encounter many different things both good and bad and all these
experiences mould our character. Forgiveness can sometimes be hard especially forgiving those
who wronged us. Almost all spiritual teachers including Jesus Christ and Allah always teach us
about the importance of forgiveness as way of finding peace and everlasting happiness in our
lives. We can sometimes hold grudges against people who have obstructed our dreams and
made us live up to their expectations such as teachers and parents. It can be an ex-lover, a friend
or family member who has done you wrong in the past and you still find it hard to forgive them,
which usually feels like a burden to you. It is important to realise that forgiving those who have
wronged you will only benefit you since you are carrying the burden and not them.
Forgive Yourself
After forgiving everyone, forgive yourself. This is vital because at times we are hard on
ourselves for all the things we could have done right. We usually say, “if only I did that….things
could have been better” which makes us resent ourselves. Do not have the “if only” syndrome
which is toxic and drags you back. Realise that you only acted the way you did in the past
because you did not know any better and you were probably naïve. All your flaws and past
mistakes made you the strong person you are today. Imagine if everything your life just
happened perfectly without any obstacles, would you be as wise as you are today? I do not think
so.
Look on the Bright Side
The best thing you can do for yourself is to focus on the good memories and lessons that you
have learnt in your journey of life. Make a choice to forget about all the negative stuff and shift
your focus and energy towards the good stuff. Reflect on all your past mistakes and let them
go. Ralph Smart once said, “It is what you can let go of that determines how high you can fly”
and by letting go, you allow new opportunities to enter your life. Some people were meant to
hurt you in order to make you stronger, they were in your life for a reason and they were vital
for your growth. Viewing life from this perspective will allow you to mature faster and start
seeing opportunities everywhere you go. You strive to become what they call an inverse
paranoid. An inverse paranoid is someone who thinks everything in the world is working in
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their favour, even when bad things happen to them, they start looking at how the experience
can help them grow or improve.
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4. ELIMINATE FEAR
Fear is one of the biggest destroyers of dreams, hope and drive. Many dreams are shattered,
many goals are left unpursued and many men and women remain stuck all because of fear. As
much as it is hard to admit, the truth is that many of us are driven by fear in everything we do
and every decisions we take and fear has been our number one enemy. Almost all spiritual
teachers and teachers of success principles have highlighted fear as an enemy of progress and
that everyone should make it their duty to eliminate it from their lives. The majority of us can
agree that there are many things we have postponed or even dropped because of fearing
judgement, scrutiny and probably discrimination. We then realize at a later stage how much we
have allowed fear to run our lives and by then it is too late to go back.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure. It is not our darkness that most frightens us, but our light. We were all meant to shine as
children do, it is not just in some of us but also in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we
unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears and
our presence automatically liberates others” – Nelson Mandela Inaugural Speech, 1994
The million-dollar question then becomes, how do we eliminate fear from our lives? Since
everything in life is a choice, the choice to eradicate fear lies completely with you. There is no
cure or medicine for fear because if it were available the shelves would be squeaky clean. It all
begins with acceptance, accepting that you are afraid of whatever it is you are afraid of, it can
be death, failure, discrimination or anything that makes you afraid. Accepting that you are afraid
is the first step. Acceptance does not mean accepting that you are going to live with fear it only
means acknowledging its presence. You can never solve any problem until you acknowledge
that you have one.
The second step is to know whenever you are being afraid and act immediately. Fear will always
try to creep into your life everytime you try to do something, so it vital quickly identify it and
counteract it. There are many ways you can counteract fear like using positive self-talk, thinking
about what could go right etc. However, we sometimes are unable to draw a line between being
fearless and being reckless.
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Being Fearless vs Being Reckless
It is sometimes hard to distinguish between fearlessness and recklessness because there is a thin
line between the two. Fear can sometimes save us from making bad decisions, which could land
us in hot water or even six feet underground. For example, being afraid to drive while you are
drunk can save you from a potential car accident or being arrested while for someone else
drinking and driving might be seen as a fearless act instead of being a reckless one. That is why
it is important to consciously differentiate between the two and know exactly whenever you are
being reckless or fearless as this can help you avoid unnecessary problems.
Failure Is Not Final
Failure can oftentimes demoralise us and derail us from our path to success and this is merely
because of our perception of failure. Fear of failure is a big issue particularly amongst youth
due to different factors including the way society has labelled failure and how our teachers and
parents have taught us to view failure. The number of suicides in the world have increased
particularly amongst the youth due to fear of being judged after failing. We usually see news
headlines where a student hanged himself or herself after failing an exam, which is usually the
result of fear of failure. Understanding that failing is not the end of the world but an opportunity
to learn from your mistakes and emerge stronger than before is important in destroying fear.
We have all heard people say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and this is true
because sometimes pain is a better teacher.
What Would You Do If You Were Not Afraid?
This is the main question in the book Who Moved My Cheese by Dr Kenneth Blanchard. This
question might seem simple or light but it is very profound especially when your goal is to
eliminate fear in your life. Take a moment and think are about all the things you could do if you
were not afraid, tons of things isn’t it? Fear has become a big obstacle to the lives of many and
the removal of it would unleash enormous amounts of potential and excellence. In an effort to
find out how other people view fear, I recently got into a habit of randomly asking people about
their thoughts. Below is a screenshot from a WhatsApp chat with my brother Floyd about fear:
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I could not add more to his wise words, it is brilliant how he manage to summarise articulately
the way in which fear can serve as a limiting factor to a person’s life.
Imagine if Thomas Edison were afraid, we would not have known of the light bulb and would
probably be living in the dark. If astronauts were afraid of going to space, we would not have
knowledge about the galaxies that exist and the universe in general. Being afraid will not serve
you nor will it serve the people around you and by approaching your fears head-on, you are
unconsciously allowing others to do the same. Take initiative and make an effort to get rid of
fear in your life and allow your real self (best version) to reign supreme.
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5. LOVE YOURSELF A 150%
After eliminating fear from your life, it is important to start increasing your self-love. It is said,
“Charity begins at home” which I like to interpret as helping yourself first before you can help
others. Before you can love your neighbour, you need to first love yourself. Before you can
expect others to love you, you need to love yourself a 150% or even 200%. You should become
the change you want to see in the world and that can only be achieved through self-love. The
main reason why people hate others has to do with the hate the have for themselves, in essence,
they hate themselves.
The Theory of Projection by psychologist Sigmund Fraud states that what we hate in other
people is what we hate about ourselves since we do not like seeing other people display the
characteristics that we hate about ourselves hence we project the hate towards them. Therefore,
by loving yourself fully you will have nothing to hate about yourself and in turn you will not
project any hate towards anyone.
Stop Caring About What People Think
One of the most common regrets people who are near death talk about is, “I wish I didn’t worry
too much about what other people think of me”. Not caring about what people think of you is a
big step towards loving yourself fully. It is imperative to realise that most of the time people
are not thinking about you but are actually thinking about themselves. We often let other people
dictate our lives by caring too much about what they think of us, we let people’s opinions of us
play a huge role in how we live our lives. Your opinion of yourself is more important and what
you think about yourself should be the only thing that matters. In order to love yourself a 150%,
you need to realise that we are not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, we
are in this world to live up to our expectations and be ourselves. In any case, people will always
have their opinions of you or anything and that should not concern you nor should it be part of
your life.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
We live in a competitive world where we compete for almost everything and this has given rise
to a high level of comparison within our society. From early childhood up to adulthood, we
have been conditioned to normalise comparing ourselves with other people, our parents would
say, “Look at what kids your age are doing” or “You should be like Joshua”. I am quite sure
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that our parents and teachers were not aware of this type of conditioning since they were also
brought up in the same way hence why we always compare ourselves with others. Realising
that you are a unique individual with unique capabilities and talents will help you accept
yourself fully and in turn love yourself fully. You should only compare yourself to the person
on the mirror, yes YOU! This does not suggest that you should not have a role model or
someone you look up to, it only suggests that you should not compare yourself to anyone even
your role models. By not comparing yourself with anyone, competition becomes minimum and
this gives you enough space to focus on yourself and improving your self-love.
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6. LEARN, LEARN AND LEARN
We know that knowledge comes from experience and the process of acquiring experience is
called education. As humans, we can only learn from the past and
“Education is the key to success” is a cliché, which is familiar within society and is very
profound. Although success can have different meanings to different people, we can all agree
that having knowledge can improve your chances of being successful in whatever endeavour
you partake. Education can come in forms i.e. you can learn anything, anywhere. Oftentimes
we associate education only with having a formal qualification or going to school whereas one
can also learn a number of things outside of formal education. Even as a child, you learnt how
to walk, talk and write and this shows the importance of education towards your development.
Experience is Priceless
Learning does not take place only in the classroom but can take place anywhere at anytime. As
children we learnt how walk the hard way, this includes falling countless times and learning
from our mistakes. Old people who are near their deathbed often say how they do not regret the
things they did but all the things they did not do. That is because they have gain a lot of
experience from the things they did which helped them survive in life. From today, commit to
gaining experience from different people or situations and your knowledge will keep on
expanding.
Become a Lifelong Student
Being a lifelong student means you have a lifetime commitment as a learner in the university
of life. It is no secret that life has plenty of obstacles and hurdles which not necessarily meant
to break us but to mould us into strong individuals. This can only be achieved if you are willing
to learn from your challenges and use the lessons to avoid future predicaments. The university
of life teaches us different principles of life most of which are essential for acquiring success.
Go ahead and enrol in the school of life and continue to learn and gain experience.
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7. STOP BEING A VICTIM
Victimizing yourself can be a toxic exercise and can lead you to a downward spiral. Playing
victim can include blaming our circumstances or people for our sufferings or misfortunes. I
cannot deny the fact that some of our sufferings can be blamed on socio-economic factors and
past injustices, however, it is what you do about it that matters. We live in a cut-throat world
where people care for themselves and can do anything to get to the top even if it means hurting
others along the way. It is how respond to the world that matters. I like stated on chapter two,
part of being responsible has to do with how you respond to your surroundings. Sometimes in
order to escape from taking responsibility, we tend to victimize ourselves.
Become an Inverse Paranoid
Have you ever had that feeling where you felt like the whole world is plotting against you and
nothing seems to be in your favour? What happens when you reverse that feeling? What if you
thought that everytime things are working in your favour? Your whole world you change
instantly. Once you start becoming an inverse paranoid, you stop being a victim and you
become the victor. You start seeing opportunities where you did not see them before. Even
when bad things happen to you, you start looking at how these experiences can help you grow
or improve your life.
Do Yourself Justice
In any crime or injustice, the victim deserves some justice. In your case, you should give justice
to yourself. After victimizing yourself for so long, you owe yourself some repatriation.
Repatriate yourself by forgiving yourself and making a promise to never victimize yourself in
any situation unless you are a real victim. Take a journal or a notebook and write down all the
instances where you did yourself harm and next to each item write an action plan. An action
plan will help you put things into perspective.
You Deserve the Best
Victimizing ourselves can make us feel worthless and sometimes underserving of good things
in our lives. This can lead to a downward spiral and even worse suicidal thoughts. Each and
every individual is unique and has unique talents and capabilities. The universe has plans for
all of us and our breakthroughs differ, so it is just a matter of time before you get a break.
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Realise that you too deserve all the world has to offer. You are not a passenger in your life, you
are the driver. Keep aiming for the moon so that when you fall, you will land on the stars.
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8. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Everyone is blessed in one way or another and it is by counting these blessings that we begin
to realise our fortunes. Blessings occur in many forms both materialistic and non-materialistic.
Oftentimes we find ourselves feeling inadequate or poor due to our lack of achievement relative
to our peers, colleagues or neighbours. Usually we tend to take a lot of things for granted and
do not acknowledge their significance in our lives until they are gone. When I was still in high
school I used to always tell my friends how lucky we are and how much we should be thankful
for the little things we have. I would say, “you have two eyes, two legs, two arms, two ears and
every other organ still attached and you are healthy, so these alone are enough blessings” and
they would laugh.
Appreciation and Gratitude
Often those who are grateful and appreciative for what they already have tend to live their best
lives simply because expressing gratitude alone can make you feel adequate. Take a moment
and look around you, what is it that you are most grateful for? Asking yourself this question
can help you assess all the things you take for granted which you should be appreciating. You
might be having a roof over your head, food to eat, a smartphone, clothes and running water
and still feel inadequate due to lack of appreciation. Although some of these things are basic
needs, plenty of people still lack them and would die to be in your position.
The minute you express gratitude towards what you already have is the minute you open up
doors for new opportunities. Lack of appreciation can cause stress, anxiety and bitterness which
are not good for your well-being. Most successful individuals talk about gratitude as the number
one tool for harnessing success and happiness. The book Focus on the Good Stuff by Mike
Robbins emphasizes on the importance of focusing on good side of life and acknowledging all
the things and people that are significant to your life and growth so as to cultivate more
happiness and success for yourself.
Many successful people use the power of gratitude and appreciation as a tool for reaching their
success while remaining fulfilled. What did you have for breakfast? Bread? Think about the
processes that took place for you to have the bread. From the farmer grows wheat, to the farm
workers who harvest the wheat, the driver of the transport which takes the wheat to the factory,
the factory workers, the packagers, the retailer and finally the money you used to buy the bread.
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By looking at something so small with such a broad perspective, you learn appreciate even the
smallest of things which we usually take for granted. Expressing gratitude can attract more
positive energy towards your life and bring you more joy.
Law of Attraction
Many successful people including best selling author Jack Canfield attribute their success and
abundance to the use of the law of attraction. In physics, the law of magnetism states that unlike
charges attract and like charges repel. However, this is the opposite with the law of attraction
which states that positive attracts positive and negative Io attracts negative. To understand how
the law works, think of a radio station which operates at a certain frequency within a certain
radius. For you to tune in to the radio station your radio device has to be at the same frequency
with the radio station i.e. a 98.5 Hz station will only be in tune with a radio device set at 98.5
Hz.
The radio station analogy applies to human interaction and spirituality. Every human being
sends out different frequencies everyday based on our thoughts and feelings. Every frequency
you send out into the universe tunes in to similar frequencies that are available. For example, if
you are always feeling happy and express joy you are likely to attract happiness and joy to your
life. This is also evident with religious people who believe that by praying for what you want
you can get it. Prayer uses the law of attraction as it helps you focus your thoughts on want you
want and this helps you be at the same frequency with what want this attracting it into your life.
By focusing your thoughts and emotions on gratitude and appreciation, you are likely to feel
adequate and fulfilled. These feelings will in turn attract to your life adequacy and fulfilment.
There are plenty of books and guides which are written on the law of attraction and how you
can use it to achieve whatever you want. Go ahead and practise the law of attraction and notice
better results in your life.
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9. MODEL YOUR BEST VERSION
After doing all the above, the last thing to do is take action and become your ideal self. Yes, it
is time to become your best version. Modelling the person you want to become includes doing
most of the activities your best version would do. This simply means that you should begin
adopting new habits, habits that move you more closer to the person you want to become. A
change of habits is extremely essential when you desire to make a change in your life.
Successful people have successful habits, so if success is what you desire then do what a
successful would do. If you want to become a businessperson, you should start behaving like
one, dressing like one and talking like one.
People usually say, “fake it till you make it” and saying can be useful because when you act or
behave in a certain way, in time your mind subconsciously adopts this new behaviour and it
becomes your new character. Acting as if you are already were you want to be is the best way
to get there faster. The more you act as if you have made it, the more it becomes a reality.
Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
It is no doubt that the mind is the computer box of our entire body and by installing the correct
software, the mind can make wonders. In the book As a Man Thinketh , James Allen said, “The
outer conditions of a man will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state”.
This suggests that for a person to successfully change his or her physical conditions, they have
to change their thoughts. By changing your thoughts, your actions change. By changing your
actions, your habits change. By changing your habits, your character changes. Finally, when
your character changes, your whole life changes.
Get a mentor
Whenever you decide to go on vacation or a tour trip to a place you have never been to, you
need directions. Normally, a map will give all the directions but on arrival at your destination
you will require a tour guide to show you the place. Exactly, a tour guide. Think of a mentor as
a tour guide, someone who is there to guide you and show you the person you want to become.
By now you already know your destination and how to get there, all you need is a tour guide
on arrival at your destination. I spent all my life without a mentor and it proved to be destructive.
We all need someone to confide in and gain inspiration from. A mentor is exactly like a role
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model except that you intentionally chose them. This can be a friend, sibling, teacher or
colleague who is already where you want to be.
BONUS CHAPTER: MEDITATION TECHNIQUES
Technique 1: Candle Stirring
Get a candle and do the following:
• Avoid thinking of unpleasant thoughts that trigger anger or anxiety.
• Have a good position, keep your back straight without discomfort or a lot of effort.
• No tight clothing and shoes.
• Find an ideal location (quiet) but it is optional.
• Quite your mind
Technique:
• Take your right hand and hold the centre of your palm approximately 3 to 4 inches away
from the spot on your forehead that is above your nose at the level of and middle of your
eyebrows.
• Close your eyes and rotate your hand so that the centre of your palm makes the outline
of a quarter circle. Move hand towards the left.
• Release the hand once at peace and look back at the candle.
• Focus your eyes on the movement of the candle fire.
Technique 2: Breath control
• This can be done anywhere.
• Focus on your breath as it comes in and out of your body.
• Try to do this for two to three minutes (as a start)
Expressing gratitude
Before meditation, express gratitude for all the things you have in your life, both pleasant and
unpleasant. The aim is to try and find positives in the challenges you face and eradicate the
drama associated with them. Helps in finding solutions.
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WRITER’S DETAILS
Thank you for taking time to read this guide. I hope it was useful and worth
reading. If you have found this guide to educational or useful or have any
suggestions and comments, feel free to let me know through my details below:
Email: spotiza@gmail.com
Phone/WhatsApp: +27839470207
Thank you.
