Are you limited to the restrictions that others have put upon you? Author Rae Stonehouse asks "how big is your sandbox?"

1. How Big is Your Sandbox?
How big do goldfish grow? It seems an
innocent enough question. The answer is
"it depends". It depends on the size of
the aquarium that they spend their days
swimming around in. House-bound
goldfish can perhaps make it to 2 to 3
inches. Goldfish that have been released
to the wild and haven't ended up on the
menu of somebody higher up the food
chain have been reported to grow to a
whopping 12 to 14 inches.
Unless you find the collecting of trivia to be fascinating I would expect the next question
forming in your mind to be "Who cares? Why is this important to me?" Okay, that was really
two questions disguised as one...
The point: How many of us have had limitations placed upon our personal growth and
development and our potential, by others or even worse ... by ourselves?
In my high school years I was excited about cooking and wanted to become a chef. After
graduation I found a position that would lead me towards achieving that goal. Or so I thought!
It was my first foray into the working world and I ended up having some very cynical and jaded
older workers as my role models. If I wanted to survive in the workplace, I needed to be the
same as them.
After a year of working as a cook's assistant I experienced more than several people's shares of
trouble, and experienced a couple downward promotions. After a year working on the
dishwasher in the Dietary Department in a large psychiatric facility I wondered how low can you
go? Then after a further demotion to the pot washer I realized that I guess you can go lower
than a dishwasher. It was a hot and thoroughly nasty job.
My goal to becoming a chef vanished. I began to see myself as the "boy from the kitchen." I saw
my future as perhaps becoming a cleaner on the housekeeping staff or perhaps, if I was lucky, a
position as Driver in the Transportation Department. Each of those roles would have paid more
money than I was making running a pot washer machine. The bar wasn't raised very high. I
didn't have any long term aspirations. As the saying goes, all my eggs were in one basket with
the plan of becoming a chef. There was no plan B. I got caught up in the day-to-day activities of
earning a living. I bought into the limitations that others placed on me and those that I had
myself.
The game-changer for me was seeing a job posting on the bulletin board looking for Registered
Nurses. It paid in excess of double the wages that I was making as the Potwasher supervisor. I

2. had the requisite educational requirements and went off to college to achieve my diploma in
nursing. I had broken free of the "aquarium" that was limiting my growth. I was no longer the
boy from the kitchen.
In an ironic twist of fate, I returned to that facility five years later as a Registered Nurse and
worked there for a decade, actually to the very day. Well guess what? After a decade I was
finding the environment once again to be too small and restrictive to me. Once again I was
letting other people put restrictions and sanctions on me. Once again I was putting limits on
what I could do.
As many others have done in the past I took the geographical cure. I moved my family across
the country to beautiful British Columbia, a new location where nobody knew me. A new life.
Twenty years ago I discovered the communications & leadership program at Toastmasters
International and in the beginning it took me a couple years to figure it out. At about two years
into the program I was becoming frustrated. I wasn't growing. My fellow club members were
able to provide me with an evaluation of my speech even before I delivered it. They were so
used to my style that they could predict how I would deliver a speech.
A fellow club member gave me some advice that I remember to this day. "Rae, you need a
bigger sandbox." Simple, yet sage advice. For me to grow I needed to experience opportunities
that were outside of the comfort of my Toastmasters club. I needed to continually raise the bar
on meeting challenges in life and accomplishing even more challenging, yet achievable goals.
Over the ensuing years I took on a series of leadership roles within Toastmasters ... from club
officers, to Area Governor, Division Governor, Lieutenant Governor of Education & Training and
on to District Governor, Past District Governor, Division Governor and finally club President. A
full circle that has provided me with increasing leadership challenges.
When I was a younger Toastmaster my mantra for those that are fans of Conan the Barbarian,
"That which doesn't kill you ... makes you stronger!" Yes, it was quite cynical at the time. I have
revised it to "That which challenges you ... makes you stronger"
I have gone on from there to develop entrepreneurial pursuits and to lead community-based
organizations. I have found that I need an ever-increasing bigger sandbox.
I haven't forgotten about you dear reader. Is the size of your sandbox holding you back? Are the
labels or sanctions that others have placed on you holding you back? Do you have limiting
beliefs that are holding you back from achieving anything or everything that you want in life?
It is close to New Years as I am writing this article. Many people are thinking about making New
Year's resolutions. Is this the year that you step out of your restrictive sandbox?
I would encourage you to visit a local Toastmasters club. The world needs more leaders.
Toastmasters builds leaders. You can be one of them! As JoAnna McWilliams, Past President of

3. Toastmasters International is often quoted as saying "If you get everything out of Toastmasters
that you can get out of Toastmasters ... you will never get out of Toastmasters!"
For this upcoming year ... build yourself a bigger sand box. You will be glad you did.
Top photo credit Steven Depolo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons.
Rae Stonehouse is the author of Power Networking For Shy People: Tips & Techniques to
Move from Shy to Sly! Join our discussion on Facebook & LinkedIn. Just search for Power
Networking for Shy People. Download as an e-book.
He is a Registered Nurse with over 30 years experience working in psychiatry/mental health.
He is the author of PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A
Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers
He is also a Past D21 Governor and currently serving in multiple leadership roles including
D21 Webmaster & President of Kelowna Flying Solo Toastmasters.
Copyright 2014 Rae Stonehouse, Live For Excellence Productions. The above document may be
freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.