Are you facing the challenges and gifts of adult children moving back home? If so, this article provides practical tips for your family to work together and navigate this complicated transition.
1. Re-feather Your Empty Nest
hermentorcenter.com/2017/12/06/re-feather-your-empty-nest/
Today over 20 million young adults between 18 and 32 are more likely
living with parents than independently. And the phenomenon of
boomerang kids back in the nest is being viewed as a favorable cultural
shift. Yet it’s a challenge for some moms who are in the midst of
spreading their own wings. If this sounds familiar, try these practical and
easy to use tips to help you navigate this transition:
Increase optimism. A positive mindset doesn’t diminish the fact that
you now have more responsibility and less freedom to be on your own.
But changing your perspective and how you see these particular
circumstances can alter your experience. Don’t we sometimes create our
own reality?
1/3
2. Be supportive. Talk with your Millennials about intentions and the goals
they plan to set for themselves. Providing guidance as they create short-
term objectives may minimize frustration or stress and increase
cooperation. Encourage them to take concrete steps toward moving
forward on their own and eventually moving out.
Accept what is. You may be reluctant to give up your new office and
turn it into a bedroom. But if they’re still carrying huge student loans, are
you willing to deal with the guilt of saying no? For ideas about how to
improve communication, set ground rules and resolve conflict with your
adult children visit the library of Her Mentor Center. (see below)
Track progress. Urge your emerging adults to make lists of major
obstacles and stumbling blocks as well as their internal strengths and
external resources. Journaling can provide comfort and relief as well as
stimulate motivation. Writing regularly will help them feel grounded as
they release mental toxins and deepen their awareness.
Give it time. Understand that your boomerang kids are opening up to all
the possibilities. It can take months to find work, adjust to new demands
and gain confidence. During this process, have them explore internships
or volunteer work as a step toward finding the career meant for them.
Appreciate this second time around. Remember that it’s only a
temporary stop on their quest for autonomy. As you establish family rules
and they assume responsibilities, you can together draw a bottom line.
Convert the nest to a net as you launch them into self-sufficiency. By
supporting their efforts – as they settle into a job, finish grad school or
save money for a down payment – you’ll see them becoming full-fledged
adults.
Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. brings over thirty-five years of clinical experience
to the challenges of families in flux. In “Whose Couch Is It Anyway?
Moving Your Millennial,” she provides smart strategies for Moms
2/3
3. navigating the generation gap with their Boomerang Kids. Visit
HerMentorCenter.com to learn more about letting go.
If your adult children are moving back home, CLICK HERE for Solutions
and Support. Download a free ebook about reaching for your goals when
you sign up for Stepping Stones, a free newsletter. You don’t have to do
it alone.
3/3