Managers as Mediators Brokering Employee Disputes

www.PaulFalconeHR.com
PaulFalconeHR@gmail.com
1www.PaulFalconeHR.com

Paul Falcone is Author of . . .
 101 Tough Conversations to Have with Employees: A Manager’s
Guide to Performance, Conduct, and Discipline Challenges
 101 Sample Write-Ups for Documenting Employee Performance
Problems: A Guide to Progressive Discipline and Termination
 96 Great Interview Questions to Ask Before You Hire
 2600 Phrases for Effective Performance Reviews
 2600 Phrases for Setting Effective Performance Goals
www.PaulFalconeHR.com 2

Outcomes
 Train managers to address problematic conduct or
substandard job performance issues directly and
honestly
 Set high standards without simultaneously putting
others down or turning them off
 Structure a safe meeting environment for "warring"
participants (eliminating need for defensiveness,
attacks, and/or counter-attacks)



Outcomes (cont.)
 Build a culture in which team members can assume
partial responsibility for problems and make
themselves part of the solution
 Realign teams, reset management expectations, and
turn around group performance and productivity
 Become a mentor and coach rather than a unilateral

Outcomes (cont.)
 Heal old wounds and increase individual performance
and group productivity
 Get the team back to “normal” and eliminate that
feeling of having to walk on eggshells around one
another
 Establish your reputation as a leader who takes on the
toughest situations the workplace can conjure up

Common Scenario
One particular department within your organization
suffers from individuals who simply can't or won't get
along. Unaddressed and often longstanding
resentments poison the workplace, and productivity
and performance suffer. In circumstances like these,
it's only a matter of time until something major falls
through the cracks and the drama hits the fan.
Employees question: “When will management finally do
something about this?”

Variations on a Theme
Lack of trust, lack of recognition, failure to acknowledge
the other person’s presence
Mutiny on the Bounty—Anonymous Complaints that
Kill Morale and Camaraderie . . .
Gossips, Rumor-Mongers, Snitches and the Dreaded
“Preemptive Strike”

Variations on a Theme (cont.)
Paratrooping Behind Enemy Lines—When Team Leaders Won’t
Respect Their Department Head
Wounded Casualties Acting on Principal and Self-Defense . . .
When that Proverbial Straw is Broken on the Camel’s Back
When the Problem is at the Top of the Food Chain: Stopping
Bullies in Their Tracks

Remedies
 Preventing loss of control and storming out of the
room in rage
 Overcoming “This’ll never work—we’ve tried this
before, and it just made matters worse”
 Follow-up tips for staying in touch and preventing
relapses into old habits

Remedies (cont.)
 Treating adults like adults
 Consequences with teeth (i.e., written “letters of
clarification” and, when necessary, final written
warnings for egregious misconduct)
 When it may be time to move on . . .

General Rules of Engagement –
Step 1: Meet with each individual 1-on-1 and simply
listen to what each has to say
Step 2: Ask, “What would [NAME] say if she were here
right now to defend herself? What could her
counterargument sound like?
Step 3: Ask, “What would you like to see happen?”

Rules of Engagement (cont.)
 Step 4: Inform the complainant that you’ll need to
involve both supervisors (one tier removed from the
action) to explore this further
 Be prepared for complaint withdrawal (for fear of
retaliation)
 Counter with your / HR’s role in creating a friendly
work environment and getting this fixed once and for
all

 Step 5: Explain the magic behind the conflict
resolution process
(a) Share the other person’s side of the story in advance
of the group meeting so that the “what” is known
and you could then focus your meeting on the “how”
(b) “There’s no need for attacking or defending – we’re
simply coming together as adults to solve a problem”

Step 6: At the time of the group meeting, set the rules as
follows. . .
1. “Don’t hold anything back. This is a once-in-a-career
opportunity to fix this problem . . .”
2. “Everything you share has to be said with the other’s best
interests in mind and in a spirit of constructive
criticism.”
3. “Once you’ve walked a mile in the other person’s
moccasins, determine what you’re willing to change
about your own behavior in order to elicit a different
response from the other person in the future.”

 Step 7: End the meeting by repeating the agreements
made and by asking both sides to assume good
intentions until proven otherwise
 When necessary, ask how you, as the supervisor and/or
HR, should respond if this particular issue rises again

Gossips, Rumor-Mongers, and Snitches
 Explain your perception of the problem clearly and
accurately
 Publicly apologize to the victim of the banter on behalf
of the department
 Reset expectations by appealing to people’s sense of
fairness – “I expect more from you as a team, and I
know you should expect more of yourselves as
individuals . . .”

When It’s Time to Move On
 “If you can’t see yourself as part of the solution and/or see
others acting in a more benevolent manner toward you,
then this may fall under the ‘Life is too short’ category and
you may want to explore other career options. . .”
 “I’m here to support you in any way I can, but if you really
feel like you can’t or you won’t abide by these new
expectations and literally start over by assuming good
intentions, then leaving may appear to be a more viable
alternative than continuing to work in an unhealthy
environment. . .”

Time to Move On (cont.)
 “So I’d like you to go home tonight and really think this
through. If you can’t or won’t readapt your style in
light of what I just shared with you, then it may be in
your best interests to self-select out of a leadership role
or look for opportunities elsewhere. But please don’t
put me in a position to have to hold a discussion with
you about a topic like this again because the
conversation could have a very different outcome that
could be detrimental to your career as a whole . . .”

Keys to Mediating Disputes
 Open, transparent communication of the perception
problem at hand
 Objective observations rather than subjective
judgments
 Allow individuals to assume responsibility for their
actions and provide options and choices so they’re in
control
 Respect whatever decision they ultimately make

Q&A: Questions & Actions
Paul Falcone
www.PaulFalconeHR.com
PaulFalconeHR@gmail.com

Managers as Mediators Brokering Employee Disputes

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Managers as Mediators Brokering Employee Disputes