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BOOK PRESENTATION TITLED SECRETS TO SUCCESSFUL CHILD UPBRINGING
BY ONYEBUCHI UGOCHUKWU IHERUE ON THIS DAY THURSDAY, 11th AUGUST
2016.
I love writing; as far back as I can remember I was putting something down. It is very fortunate
to find people like you who want to read what I wrote.
Raising a child is the hardest, most responsible and satisfying task a human being can face. It is
also the job for which people receive the least formal training. Each person’s knowledge of how
to bring up a child usually comes from their surroundings and their own upbringing. This may
result in patterns from the parents own social experiences being repeated and passed on their
children.
Raising great children does not happen by chance, it is an effect that requires day-to-day
conscious and deliberate efforts from the parent’s side. Being a parent is one of the most
challenging but rewarding jobs anyone could ever adopt. It is the long task and responsibility that
an individual will ever perform. Parenting is an active process that demands that individuals use
their skills and knowledge, plan, give birth, raise and provide for children. The parenting process
includes protecting, nourish and guiding the child. It involves a series of interaction between the
parents and the child through out the life span.
Just as children go through the stages of development, parents also go through the stages of
parenthood that require appropriate responsibilities. These stages involve change task and roles
of both parents and children
In most homes, some parents have failed in their duty as parents in raising their children due to
the method which they applied wrongly in training their kids and other ways they see as
irrelevant in upbringing of their children. This book will enlighten us and educate the parents on
the measures that will help to raise better children, thereby, making up a healthier society. It
reveals the secrets to successful child upbringing that will enable us raise great children that
will help in nation building. Those compelled under One-Nigerian society, more than having
been infested with all manner of abominations, still have the opportunity for a better tomorrow;
this opportunity is seen in free gift of God in our children. This is why St Paul rightly said, “All
things are lawful”, but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build

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up.” Parents need to teach their children properly and bring them up to meet up with the vast
challenges of today’s world; however, the word of wisdom from God should take the center
stage in every child’s upbringing.
It is a matter of upbringing. Talk to a prostitute today, and if she opens up, you are sure to hear of
the failure of her parents in her upbringing. Leave this group and move on to the robbers and
kidnappers we have everywhere in Nigeria today, if they are drunk enough to open up, you will
be shocked to hear that they were ignored by their fathers or both parents. Leave this group of
“brought-up children and go to the militants; you surely will make a mistake the culpability of
their parents’ silence cushioned by whoever they have resolved to lay the blame on. It should be
noted, also, that the highly callous leaders we have in the society today were once children, and
at the bottom of their wickedness lies their fault of wrong parenting. Man, in many ways, is like
a field of crops- take “proper” care of it and you are sure to stand as the proud owner of “that
field; but, let it grow as it pleases, and you will not mistake the imprint of your neglects on it.
Even if you move forward a bit to look at our children in different unlawful and disgraceful
activities today, you will not mistake the role of the parents and how they have goaded them on
in the wrong paths. And you can be sure today that those Nigerians who are bombing and killing
innocent people all over the country in the name of religion had some roots of their convictions
traced down to their parents.
Today, children rival themselves in acts of immorality and crime in competitive way because
that is what “Mother Nigeria” has not only taught, but compelled all to do. A little girl, who has
not been properly schooled on matters of the heart, and on feelings and implication of likeness
and love, is being hailed for growing from the wrong environment. While the country has been
taken over by crimes, corruption and terrorism, the children are fast growing to contribute their
quota for diseased society filled with conscientious participants and nonchalant observers. As a
result, while the young girls are praised for practicing home prostitution from their elementary
age, the young boys dream of having “Sugar mummies”.
Parents are the most influential role models children are likely to have. The parents’ own
behaviours, attitude, beliefs and values affect greatly the child development. Hence, parents need
to recognize their own belief system and how it can impact on the lives of their children.
Interestingly, your children do learn from you by the way you treat yourself as this registers fast

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in their system more than any other thing. Because your children naturally see you as role model,
your health behavior, public manners, attitude to strangers, reading habits, style of
communication and absolutely everything you do contribute automatically to the foundation and
formation of their lives and this is one of the most important principles.
Parents must take an interest in their children’s life and know what they are doing from day to
day. Parents must take an interest in their child’s school activities, know what they are studying
and learning, take initiative in helping them with their homework, learn who their friends are and
get to know them, take an interest in their activities and participate in them as much as possible.
The best or the greatest asset you can give to your child is education. It is said that from
education comes knowledge. We must not forget that education is what survives when what has
been learned has been forgotten and the foundation of every state is the education of its youth
which has for its object the formation of character. One must know that the great aim of
education is not knowledge but action. Train your child intellectually, physical and morally to be
able to fit in, in the present world of computer and jet age. Send your child to school so that he
will be able to read and write. Co-operate with your child’s teacher; maintain good relationship
with him/her to give your child good attention. Think of your child’s teacher as your working
partner in rearing your child. You are a team working together to develop a boy or girl into a
worthwhile and successful adult.
In some areas, parents find it difficult to train their female children they have the wrong notion
that they are being trained for another family or village. This is wrong idea “Train a woman, you
train a nation”. Experience has proved that female ones are more serviceable and more helpful to
the family. Some of them help in the development of their father’s family even as married
people. The male ones are usually for representation or replacement after their father’s death.
Do not say “The economy is bad.” If others succeed, why do you think you can not? “While the
fool is enjoying the little he has, I will hunt for more. The way to hunt for more is to utilize your
odd moments. The man who is always killing time is really killing his own chance in life”
(Arthur Brisbane, 2001). Some believe that what will be will be and so they bundle themselves
up like a floating object and cast themselves into the sea of life hoping that the tides and waves
would carry them to where they ought to be or wish to be. But common sense should tell you that

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life is not that way. Understanding times and seasons and how they bring change matters. Do not
quit when you get into a tight place and everything goes against you and it seems as though you
can not hold on, never give up, stand and watch for time and tide will turn.
In more traditional times not only was the extended family more involved in the bringing up of
children than it is today, but the community also played a stronger and more visible role. “The
child belonged to everyone” it was said. Sometimes now, however, the child belongs to no one.
HIV/AIDS has wreaked havoc on the lives of children and families. The extended family, which
previously absorbed orphaned children, is now overstretched, especially economically, and the
stigma that often accompanies children whose parents have died of AIDS sometimes results in
relatives being reluctant to take in orphaned children.
The future for orphans is not, however, completely bleak. Underlying the problems described
above is a ubiquitous love for children and concern for their welfare which provide the impetus
to forge ahead with the new ideas and strategies which are needed to improve and bring a
semblance of normality to the lives of children orphaned by HIV/AIDS.
Once more, UNICEF calls on all sectors of society to come together and support the millions of
Nigeria children whose lives have been devasted by HIV/AIDS. The Nigeria Children’s Day is a
time to celebrate, but also a time to reflect on what actions need to be taken. Nigerian citizens
can unite for children, unite against HIV/AIDS, they can free the next generation from HIV.
Many children simply need somebody to spark a bit of hope, somebody to say, “Yes you can do
it. You have got what it takes.” Are you believing the best in your children? Are you instilling
the confidence in them that they need, telling them that they are going to do great in life?
There is a deeper truth to that statement: I have found that if we do not tell our children who they
are, somebody else will. I want you to tell your children: “You have got what it takes. There is
nothing in your heart that you cannot accomplish. You have the courage, strength, and ability.
Mummy and Daddy are behind you. We are proud of you. We believe in you. You are destined
to do great things.”

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Speak word of blessing over your children. Speak victory over their lives. They need your
encouragement. Help them have a big vision for their lives.
When we do not tell our children who they are and instill confidence and build self-esteem in
them, it causes them to struggle with their identity, with who they are, with what they do.
Here is the key: Do not focus on what they are right now. Focus on what they can become. See
the potential on the inside. They may have some bad habits, or they may be doing some things
they do not like, but do not judge them for it. Do not look down on them critically. Find some
way to challenge them to rise higher. Tell them, “I am praying for you. I believe you are going to
break that addiction. I am believing for great things in your life.”
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Our greatest glory is not, never falling but rising up
every time we fail. Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a
keen pulsating desire, which transcends everything. Twenty years from now, you will be more
disappointed by the things that you did not do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the
bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, and catch the trade winds in your sails.
Change is one of the phenomenons of life which any serious individual must not overlook,
because if you fail to understand as it applies to you, you might be left behind by your
generation. No well thinking man would want to be any bit behind his generation, even a
mediocre would want that to be his experience. One secret of success in life is being able to
place the priorities of your children right. Once you are able to choose the best at the best time,
nothing would stop you from excelling in life.
Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. This book
“secrets to successful child upbringing” is written to better the condition of present generation
by raising our children morally, spiritually and educationally right from home. Gracias…