This presentation talks about the impact of association on an individuals growth and advancement. Having the right association has the capacity to improve ones influence, character and manner of behavior.

1. THE WRONG ASSOCIATION:
A THREAT TO DESTINY FULFILMENT
A
Presentation delivered at
The Deborah’s League Conference 2018
Theme: “THE EMERGENCE”
By
Amb. Odinaka Kingsley Obeta
(PRESIDENT YMIFOUNDATIONS)
8th April 2018

2. WHAT IS AN ASSOCIATION?
• An association is a clique of like minded individuals (who can
be from the same or different backgrounds) working with
the same vision
• The state of being associated; a connection to or an
affiliation with something or someone
• The state of persons associated for a common purpose; an
organization; society

3. WHO ARE FRIENDS?
• Friends are:
– Trusted companions
– People you can share your joys and frustrations
with
– People who believe in you

4. TYPES OF FRIENDSHIP
Acquaintances
– People you recognize, but don’t really know.
– These are people you say “Hello” to in the hall,
but you don’t make a point to see them socially.
They can be classmates you recognize, friends of
friends, neighbors who live in your area, people
who ride the same bus as you, etc.
– Peers are usually acquaintances.
• A group with a commonality
• Usually your same age
• Shares common interests

5. TYPES OF FRIENDSHIP
Casual Friends
– People you share a common interest
with like school or activities.
– It’s someone you’re assigned to work
with on a science project, someone who
is on the soccer team with you, attends
your church, etc.

6. TYPES OF FRIENDSHIP
Close Friends
– Friends you hang out with and share some
emotions/personal experiences with.
– These are friends you hang out with, go to the
movies with, whose homes you visit and who you
invite into your home. You share your feelings,
thoughts and ambitions and can argue and
express different opinions without being afraid of
ruining the friendship.

7. TYPES OF FRIENDSHIP
Intimate Friends
– Friends you have had for a long period of
time with whom there is a deep sharing of
emotions and personal experiences.
– These friends have the freedom to tell you
the truth, no matter how it may affect you.
They know all about you and you know all
about them. Intimate friends don’t just
appear in our lives, but develop through the
other stages of friendship.

8. Truth About Friends!
• Friends can be peers and peers can be
friends. BUT…friends are not always peers
and peers are not always friends.
• Friendships are the foundation for love and
commitment.
• Friends need to develop a good RAPPORT:
(Understanding each other in a close
relationship).

9. Truth About Friends!
• Next to parents, friends have the greatest influence on
your behavior.
• Choosing your friends is one of the MOST critical
decisions you will ever make!
• Remember, friends are role models. Who are you
allowing to affect your behavior? What kind of friend
are you going to be?

10. NOTE!
“A FRIEND INDEED WONT MAKE
YOU SMOKE THAT WEED”

11. WHY DO YOU NEED FRIENDS?
– Disclosure: someone to talk to and confide
in.
– Feedback: someone to help analyze what
your situations and feelings are.
– Empathy: someone to care about you
– Trust: someone who keeps things
confidential
– Social Interest: someone to go places with

12. QUESTION WE MUST ANSWER!
• What are the qualities you look for in a good friend?
• When does an acquaintance become a “friend”?
• Do your friendships typically develop quickly or
slowly? Why is this?
• What are some of the difficulties in becoming friends
with someone you don’t know very well?
• What are some behaviors you expect from your
friends?
• What are some behaviors you would not tolerate in
terms of friendship?
• How does one’s ability to listen and communicate
impact friendship development?

13. NOTE!
• “Almost all (if not all) of our sorrows
and pains in life can be traced to our
relationship with the wrong people”
- JOHN C. MAXWELL

14. THINGS SHARED WITHIN AN
ASSOCIATION
• Influence
• Attitude
• Character (Good or Bad)
• Behaviour
• Impact (Positive or Negative)

15. HOW DOES INFLUENCE FLOW
WITHIN AN ASSOCIATION?
• The law of influence; the reason behind why
people tend to act like certain persons around
them – Who you give you Ear Time to!
• “Negative minded persons get attracted to
negative minded persons and vice versa”
• “ Walk with the wise and become wise;
associate with fools and get in trouble.”
– Proverbs 13:20 (NLT)

16. FACT!
“Lions don’t stroll in the same
company with goats”

17. TRUE?
Most times the only route the devil has
into your life is the people you
hangout with
Consider Samson and Delilah

18. FACT!
“The wrong influence in an association
is a threat to every destiny
connected to that association…”

19. FRIENDS CYCLE
FAMILY

20. THEORY OF THE FRIENDS CYCLE
• You choose your friends, your friends don’t choose
you; only those you give access gain access
• The closer you are to a particular cycle the higher
the tendency of you been influenced by all
individuals occupying that cycle
• Only you have the ability to decide where an
individual is placed in your friends cycle, hence you
can switch positions depending on the impact of an
individual

21. FACT!
Bad things happen when you hang
around bad people. You don’t have
to disobey God to suffer, just hang
around in disobedience and you
would get your fair share!

22. NOTE!
A friend that cannot risk his friendship
for your advancement is not a friend,
in other words, a friend who cannot
tell you the truth not minding what
side you will prefer to hear, is not
worthy of been a friend.

23. POINT 1
• PROVERBS 27:17
• Iron sharpens iron; so a man the countenance of his friend
[to show rage or worthy purpose]
• Lions never stroll around with goats, its lions and lions,
goats with goats and so on. Who you walk with matters!
• As an iron, it is important that you consider the type of
people you keep around, if an iron replaces the place of an
iron with a rubber, such an iron should be ready to have a
blunt edge.
• "When your best friends are poor intellectually and you’re
doing nothing to deliberately make them improve just keep
watch, it’s a matter of time before you yourself go blank"
• NB: WHO YOU WALK WITH MATTERS!

24. POINT 2
• PROVERBS 17:17
• A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity.
•
• A true friend loves at all time, not when there’s money or when there’s good
health or when there’s massive influence only.
• So when there is no motor, she doesn’t notice the smile? But in the presence
of his success she sees his smile and likes it. flee from friends who only see
advantage! This particular kind of concern is exhibited even amongst family
members, business partners, colleagues and all others.
•
• Which of your friends can stand by you even in disgraceful moments?
• NB: A true friend loves at "ALL TIMES"!!

25. POINT 3
• PROVERBS 18:24
• “The man of many friends [a friend of all the world] will prove himself a bad
friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
• Okay, you are friends with a drunkard, a pastor, a thief, a smoker, an addict and you
fit in whenever you’re with any of the persons. In other words you don’t have a
standard, anything goes!
• You’re like a universal charger any battery can be charged, well it is important that
we learn a lesson from this universal charger we see. *"It charges all batteries yes,
but those who have used it in the past would attest to the fact that prolonged use
damages the battery; it makes the battery swell right?"*
REAL FACT
• A friend to everybody is not a friend to keep close because such a friend can
sacrifice your friendship for the advancement of another relationship not minding
the effect or impact of his or her action on you.

26. POINT 4
• JOHN 15:13
• No man has a greater love [no one has shown stronger affection]
than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.”
• He’s your best friend* yet, he cannot sacrifice that 100naira for you
to transport yourself back home even though both of you know he
wouldn’t use it for anything serious.
• Okay your phone got spoilt, he has two but yet he feels that the
statement “there’s love in sharing doesn’t apply here” really?
• What is the highest thing you can sacrifice for your friend?

27. POINT 4B
• PROVERBS 13:20
• He who walks [as a companion] with wise men is
wise, but he who associates with [self-confident]
fools is [a fool himself and] shall smart for it
In a layman’s language “Birds of the same
feathers flock together or preferably “A friend to a
thief is a thief this totally explains itself!
• Who are your lions?
• Who are your friends?

28. POINT 5
1 CORINTHIANS 15:33
“Character is very contagious….”
If you keep been friends with that gossiper, it’s
only a matter of time. It starts from “ you self
keep quite, gossip gossip, to - you don hear
wetin mama junior talk when you comot”

29. FRIENDS WHO DRAIN YOU!
• 1. Friends who loves you because of your influence and
wealth
• Such friends loves you because of the type of connections
they believe they can get from you, hence once they discover
you have lost such connection, you no longer matter.
• 2. Friends who loves you because of your talents or gifts
• Such friends love you because of your talents and gifts, they
love you because you are talented and are attracted to much
audience hence if you have a drawing skill but unfortunately
break your hand, they’ll leave!

30. FRIENDS WHO DRAIN YOU!
• 3. Friends who loves you because of your relevance
either now or the future
• Such friends just tolerate you because they feel you
are relevant or might be relevant in the future, hence
once they come closer and discover their prediction
about you were wrong, they fling you away
• [: Every individual above the age 18, have experienced
either 1 or the 3 of this forms of friends!

31. FRIENDSHIP TIPS
• Choose steady friends who like you for
who you are, not inconsistent ones who
like you for what you have.
• Make as many friends as you can, but
never center your life on them.
• Stop trying to be “popular”. Just be
yourself, be nice to everyone, and good
things will follow.

32. FRIENDSHIP TIPS!
• Be quick to forgive your friends faults, just as you
hope they’ll forgive yours.
• If people are gossiping about you or you’re being
bullied, confront the bully or find a way to live
above it.
• When it comes to friendships, stop competing or
comparing and start thinking “win-win.”
• Remember, you and your friends may change and
pursue different interests and that’s okay.

33. NOTE!
• Be careful of what you put into print/photo’s online. Once it is
out there it is out there and there is NO retrieval.
• DO NOT put anything online that you would not say to the
person face-to-face. Think about the consequences of what
you put online- How is it going to make others feel? Is it really
important to post? Could it impact someone’s future? Could it
impact your future?
• This is where we can reinforce Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
behaviors.

34. NOTE!
• Your use of social media can impact your
future opportunities. Think about the
consequences BEFORE putting something
online!
– How is it going to make others feel?
– Is it really that important to post?
– Could it impact your future career/life?
– Could it impact someone else's future?
(Friends, family, co-workers, etc.)

35. NOTE!
BUILD YOUR DESTINY WITH THE RIGHT
ASSOCIATION AND BE THE BEST GOD
WOULD WANT YOU TO BE!

36. NOTE!
IT IS BETTER TO FORFEIT A FRIENDSHIP
TODAY AND HAVE A GLORIOUS
DESTINY TOMORROW THAN
SYMPATHIZE IN A FRIENDSHIP TODAY
AND REGRET TOMORROW

37. I AM
AMB. ODINAKA KINGSLEY OBETA
AND I AM GLAD TO SHARE THESE WITH
YOU TODAY
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!

38. MY CONTACTS:
• FACEBOOK: Odinaka Kingsley Obeta
• LinkedIn: Odinaka Kingsley Obeta
• INSTAGRAM: @ObetaOdinaka
• TWITTER: @ObetaOdinaka
• EMAIL: ObetaOdinaka@gmail.com