DV Presentation

1. Humaira Mirza and Samara Zaman
October 14, 2016
HEALTHY FAMILY WORKSHOP PART 3
DOMESTIC ABUSE

2. …then click the placeholders to add your own pictures and captions.
CHOOSE A LAYOUT

3. And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find
tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are
signs for a people who give thought.

4. QURAN ON THE RELATION OF HUSBAND
AND WIFE
• The Quran describes husbands and wife as each other’s
garment. (Al-Baqara Ayah 187)
• The purpose of garment:
 To protect
 To beautify
 To cover

5. DOMESTIC ABUSE
• Domestic abuse is a pattern of abusive behavior in an intimate
relationship that is used to establish power and control.
• Types of Domestic abuse:
– Physical
– Economic
– Psychological
– Emotional
– Intimate

6. DOMESTIC ABUSE
• One in every 4 women are victims of domestic abuse.
• One in every 7 men are victims of domestic abuse.
• 14.8% of women and 4% of men are injured as a result of
domestic abuse.
• Nearly half all women and men in the United States have
experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner.
National Domestic Violence Hotline statistics

7. ISLAMIC TEACHINGS

8. SURAH NISA AYAH 34
• This is a long ayah and we will unpack it to understand it.
• Surah Nisa deals with a number of legal instructions all
dealing with extreme circumstances.
– Polygamy
– Inheritance
– Adultry
– Who is haram to marry

9. SURAH NISA AYAH 34
• The meanings of the word Qawam:
1. active
2. incredibly committed
3. protective
4. constant source of support
5. caretakers
6. to be repeatedly fair
• Allah put the responsibility on men to be a constant source of
protection and support for women.

10. SURAH NISA AYAH 34
• Because of the favor Allah gave some over others.
-Allah did not say men over women. He said some over
others.
• And because men are to spend from their own money.
• Men don’t have choice they are supposed to repeatedly take
care of and provide for women, without any condition.

11. SURA NISA AYAH 34
• Therefore good women are obedient and guarding the unseen
what Allah would have them guard
– Qunoot goes back to Allah.
– Hafizatul comes from Hafeez also the root word for Allah’s
name Hafiz.

12. SURAH NISA AYAH 34
• And for those from whom you fear an uprising counsel them,
leave them in their beds, strike them, but if they return to
obedience seek not means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever
Exalted and Grand.
- First step counsel advice
- Second step leave bed
-Third step is to separate

13. SURAH NISA AYAH 34
• Imam Abdullah Hassan argues that daraba means to separate.
• Meanings of daraba in the Quran:
• In verses 2:273, 3:156, 4:101, 5:106, 73:20, and 4:94 to mean “to
journey in the land/God's path”
• In verses 14:24, 14:25, 14:45, 16:74, 16:75, 16:76, 16:112, 17:48,
18:32, 18:45, 22:73, 24:35, 25:9, 25:39to mean strike or assert
similarities, example, or parabale.
• In verses 8:12, 47:4, 47:27, 8:50 to mean “smite/strike their
necks/beat”
• In verse 18:11 to mean conceal/cover over their ears
• In verses 2:60, 26:63, and 38:44 to mean “strike with”
• In the Quran the verb idrab (strike) is always used with an instrument
to strike with: Strike the rock (2) with your staff (1) (2:60); Strike him
(the body) (2) with a part of it (heifer – a young cow) (1) (2:73); Strike
the rock (2) with your staff (1) (7: 160); Strike off every fingertip (2) of
them (8:12)

14. SURAH NISA AYAH 34
• Imam Abdul Hassan argues:
– Whenever daraba is used to mean strike it is qualified by
including an instrument or object.
– In this ayah daraba is not accompanied by an object or part
of the body.
– Daraba is used in several figurative connotations in the
Quran including to partition or separate (57:13).
– The Prophet (S.A.W.) separated from Ayesha (R.A.) in
time of marital strife.
– Therefore daraba in this ayah means to separate.

15. ISLAMIC TEACHINGS
Hadith on Treatment of Wives:
• “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best
behaviours, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives”
• “A believer should bear no malice to his wife, if he dislikes one of her habits,
he [ought to remember that he] likes another of them”
• When asked about a husband's responsibility toward a wife, the Prophet said
“Give her food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not
revile her face, and do not beat her”
• The Prophet forbade the cursing of others and using obscene language. He
likened cursing to killing. He said “The worst form of usury is the violation of
the personal honour of a Muslim.'

16. ISLAMIC TEACHINGS
• The Prophet (SAW) also discouraged women from marrying men who are
known for their harshness, as evidenced in the story of Fatimah bint Qays
narrated in Muslim: “She said: When my period of 'iddah (3 month waiting
period after the death or divorce of a husband) was over, I mentioned to him
(Prophet SWA) that Mu'awiya b. Abū Sufyān and Abū Jahm had sent proposal
of marriage to me, whereupon God's Messenger (may peace be upon him) told
her not to marry Abū Jahm because “he does not put down his staff from his
shoulder.”

19. BARRIERS TO LEAVING
• Threats of violence
• Lack of financial resources
• Children
• Isolation
• Victim Blaming and conflicting feelings
• Personal and/or social beliefs
• Immigrant-specific issues

21. HERE ARE A FEW SIGNS TO LOOK FOR TO
DETECT WHETHER A WOMAN IS FACING
ABUSE:
• Sudden change in appearance
• Avoids contact with family and friends
• Spends all of her free time with abuser
• Cries a lot; is moody
• Is very stressed with physical symptoms
• Sudden changes in behavior
• Defends abuser

22. TYPICAL SIGNS OF ABUSERS
• Sudden and drastic mood changes
• Acts macho and cocky
• Jealous and controlling
• Cruelty to animals
• History of battering
• Constantly checks on partner
• Blames others for their problems

23. WHAT TO DO
• As family and friends:
– Learn all you can about domestic abuse
– Teach others about abuse
– Document any injuries you see
– Call local hotline for resources
– Listen to the victim
– Be patient

24. WHAT TO DO
• Safety Planning for victims:
– Have numbers of people she can call handy.
– Have a safe place to go to (neighbor, friend, family)
– Discuss safety plan with children
– During an argument move to a room with an easy escape
– During an argument avoid rooms with easy access to weapons
– Discuss a code word with your children to call 911
– Mentally plan how she might escape from each room
– Hide spare keys and money in a safe place or with a safe person
– Have all her important documents and some clothes packed and
ready at all times.

25. Shelters in Kansas city Area:
• SafeHome Phone #: 913-262-2868
• Rose Brooks Phone #: 816-759-4400; 913-677-0100
• Hope House Phone #: 816-461-4673
• NewHouse Phone #: 816-471-5800
• Kelly at ICNA Releif Phone #: 816-305-4567