This document discusses conflict resolution strategies and communication styles. It explores the roles of victim, hero and villain in conflicts and how people can fall into these roles. The document also discusses passive and aggressive communication styles and the importance of listening skills, asserting needs, developing trust, and focusing on interests and issues rather than positions. Restorative justice practices and developing alternative solutions are presented as strategies for resolving conflicts. Key sources on negotiation, communication and conflict resolution are cited.
4. Making a Victim
Airing our grievances to others
Blaming
Our Egos have been attacked
Powerless
Passive
Innocent
Manipulative
Hope to show the pain we have been
caused
8. Is she the Victim?
Kanye
Katy Perry
Is she the Villain?
Kanye
Katy Perry
Is she her own Hero?
“Why is it mischievous, fun and
sexy if a guy has a string of
lovers that he’s cast aside? Yet, if
a woman dates three or four
people in an eight-year period,
she is a serial dater”
9.
10. All of us are the villains of
someone’s story
We feel threatened and lash
out because we have no
where else to go
15. States What They Want
Doesn’t Violate Others
Not Push Overs
Listens to Others
Body Language
16. There is a fine line
between righteous and
self-righteous
Both Aggressive
Both Protecting
17. Know what types of behavior or
people trigger a response from you
Work on positive change with them
and yourself
Don’t be afraid to tell someone how
something they did made you feel
18. You and I statements
Put Blame on the other person
Focus on behaviors, words and actions not the person
What do you do to be a better communicator?
19. “LISTEN. We often already have the answer to
what the other person is saying before we even
listen to what they have to say.” (Survey).
“You have to be open to saying something they
don’t want to hear or hearing something you
don’t want to hear.” (Survey).
20. Listening to what the person
is saying and waiting to
comment
Yelling is OK- As long as you
are “speaking” the same
language
We can’t judge how people
communicate
21.
22. Acknowledge who the other
person is (Ury).
Don’t get stuck on positions
Understand our differences
23. People that come up with their own
solutions are 80% more likely to follow
through
24.
25. Best Alternative to Negotiated
Agreement
In mediation I ask for at least 3 best
alternatives
If you don’t get what you want what is
the next best thing?
This helps you know what you really want
26. Worst Alternative to a Negotiated
Agreement
No one gets what they want
Someone else makes a decision
for you
Relationship breaks
27. The problem is often not the people,
you need to make that separation
Know what issue everyone is really
talking about
Who decides what is fair?
They are probably not out to get you
28. Why is trust important?
If we don’t trust someone
what can happen?
How do we develop it?
29. Focuses on the “community” as a whole
Develops responsibility and holds
accountability to all parties
Offers a way to help repair relationships
Who uses Restorative
Justice?
Schools
Jails
Communities
30. Focus on the problem
not the person
Be Assertive
31. Everyone is someone’s
villain
Issues not positions
Know your personality
and what can set you
off
Learn how to be a
better communicator
Tell people how you
feel
32. •Cohen, Steven P. “Focusing On Interests Rather Than
Positions- Conflict Resolution Key.” Web.
http://www.mediate.com/articles/tnsc.cfm
•Fisher, Roger, and William Ury. “Getting to Yes:
Negotiation Agreement without Giving In” New York:
Penguin Books, 1981. Print.
•“The Four Basic Styles of Communication.” Web. 20 Jan.
2016.
https://www.uky.edu/hr/sites/www.uky.edu.hr/files/we
llness/images/Conf14_FourCommStyles.pdf.
•http://www.merriam-
webster.com/dictionary/communication
•https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeDhiMtUA2I&f
eature=youtu.be
33. •Ury, William. “Getting Past No: Negotiating Your
Way from Confrontation to Cooperation” New York:
Batnam Books. 1993. Print.
•Venter, David Dr. “BATNA Explained.” Web. 2 Feb. 17.
http://www.negotiationtraining.com.au/articles/next-
best-option/
•Woodward, Ellie. “How Taylor Swift Played the
Victim For A Decade and Made Her Entire Career.”
Web. 31, Jan. 2017.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/how-taylor-
swift-played-the-victim-and-made-her-entire-
caree?utm_term=.jiRYO4KNLg#.rn7onkzJdj
