This book is about the patient’s resistance and his refusal to grieve. Drawing upon concepts from classical psychoanalysis, object relations theory, and self psychology, I present a model of the mind that takes into consideration the relationship between unmourned losses and how such losses are internally recorded – as both absence of good (structural deficit) and presence of bad (structural conflict). These internal records of traumatic disappointments sustained early on give rise to forces that interfere with the patient’s movement toward health – forces that constitute, therefore, the resistance. Within the patient is a tension between that which the patient should let himself do/feel and that which he does/feels instead. Patient and therapist, as part of their work, will need to be able to understand and name, in a profoundly respectful fashion, both sets of forces –both those healthy ones, which impel the patient in the direction of progress, and those unhealthy resistive ones, which impede such progress. As part of the work to be done, the patient must eventually come to appreciate his investment in his defenses, how they serve him, and the price he pays for holding on to them. My interest is in the interface between theory and practice –the ways in which theoretical constructs can be translated into the clinical situation; to that end, I suggest specific, prototypical interventions for each step of the working-through process. My contention is that the resistant patient is, ultimately, someone who has not yet grieved, has not yet confronted certain intolerably painful realities about his past and present objects. Instead, he protects himself from the pain of knowing the truth about his objects by clinging to misperceptions of them; holding on to his defensive need not to know enables him not to feel his grief. To the extent that the patient is defended, to that extent will he be resistant to doing the work that needs ultimately to be done – grief work that will enable him to let go of the past, let go of his relentless pursuit of infantile gratification, and let go of his compulsive repetitions. Only as the patient grieves, doing now what he could not possibly do as a child, will he get better. I believe that mental health has to do with the capacity to experience one’s objects as they are, uncontaminated by the need for them to be otherwise. A goal of treatment, therefore, is to transform the patient’s need for his objects to be other than who they are into the capacity to accept them as they are.