1. Running Head: Self Discovery
1
Self Discovery
Maddie Schmit
University of Northern Iowa

2. Self Discovery
2
I came out as bisexual about halfway through my senior year. I felt that I was
finally able to discover my true identity. And everyone was able to see me for who I
really am. However, there were some exceptions to who I told and who I didn’t tell. The
first two people I came out to were two of my best friends, but I have never told my ex-
best friend, which ultimately lead to our friendship falling apart. We can choose who we
express our identity to, which can lead to someone being able to see who you really are
or hiding something about yourself to another person.
Throughout all four years of high school I had one best friend. We were very
similar and yet the most different people in the world. She is very catholic and I am
more free-spirited person. I have been a supporter of the LGBT community my whole
life, but she was against people being gay or transgender or basically anyone who
wasn’t (by her standards) “normal”. We never talked about those types of things ever,
which is how our friendship survived. When I came out as bisexual, I never told her. I
knew she would not accept me for who I am or would try to ignore who I really am. Piper
Kerman says in Orange is the New Black (2011) “It was easy to tell the difference
between women who were lonely and wanted comfort, attention, and romance and a
real, live lesbian: there were a few of them”. I knew that if I were to come out to my
friend, she would say that it was just a phase and that it will eventually pass, just like
the women in prison who were only “gay for the stay”. Eventually our friendship ended
because I felt like I could never be who I really am around her. To this day, I do not
know if she has ever found out about me being bisexual. Having to hide something
about yourself to someone is just a part of life.

3. Self Discovery
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Although some of my friendships ended when I came out, some of them grew
stronger. The first two people I came out to were two of my best friends. I knew that our
friendship was strong enough that they would support me. Before I came out, I felt that I
could always be myself and express who I really was. However, I felt that apart of me
was still hid away from the world. When I finally realized that I was bisexual and I came
out to my friends, I felt like they could see who I really am and what my true identity is. I
came out to two of my best friends that I have been friends with for almost three years
now. I have done theatre with these two since we met and that’s what made me feel
comfortable coming out to them, seeing as though the theatre is diverse in many ways.
One night after our rehearsal for our spring musical, I asked them if I could tell them
something. And it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but after I said it, I felt
a big weight lift from off my chest and I instantly felt more confident about myself. After
that I told the rest of my friends and I felt more love from them than I had ever had in the
past. And people were able to see my true identity and my friendships have grown
stronger since. In Orange is the New Black (Kerman, 2011, pg. 28), Piper says” I was
overwhelmed by kindness and concern and cried over every letter” when talking about
the letters that her friends wrote to the court writing for Piper. When I came out to my
friends I was so overwhelmed with joy that they accepted me for who I was, much like
when Piper realized how much her friends cared about her when they all wrote letters
begging for her freedom. I feel like I’m somewhat connected to Piper, in a sense that
neither of us know how much love we have in our lives until we are able to see all that
love at once.

4. Self Discovery
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Coming out as bisexual has revealed myself for who I really am and who I am as
a person. And it also has proven who my true friends are when it comes to acceptance
and being supportive. Although coming out has eventually ruined a friendship, I have
gained and strengthened many more. Sometimes I don’t always want to reveal my
identity to people, but I have found that by showing your truest self to someone can
really prove to you who they are as a person or friend and how much they care about
you.