Christopher Rausch - "Create YOUR Unstoppable Attitude for Personal & Professional Success Bootcamp
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http://www.christopherrausch.com Christopher Rausch, creator of The KICKASS Guide to life, is a professional and inspirational keynote speaker. In this presentation, Christopher shares his entire presentation from his two live event held twice a year in Southern California. Also, as a trainer and consultant, Christopher specializes in helping organizations strengthen leadership and team-building skills by helping understand the different dynamics of human conditioning. Furthermore, he shares through practical demonstration how to become better communicators. For more information, please visit http://www.christopherrausch.com
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Christopher Rausch - "Create YOUR Unstoppable Attitude for Personal & Professional Success Bootcamp
- 1. Chris to p he r Ra us c h Create YOUR Unstoppable Attitude for Personal & Professional Success!
- 11. SING SONG
- 12. INTRODUCTIONS
- 14. Today’s Event ATTITUDE RECONDITIONING RELATIONSHIPS CAREER & BUSINESS GOAL SETING & ACHIEVING
- 15. AGENDA • • • • • • • • 9:00 – 10:30 10:30 – 10:45 10:45 – 12:15 12:15 – 2:00 2:00 – 3:30 3:30 – 3:45 3:45 – 4:45 4:45 – 5:00 Session #1 – Attitude Break Session #2 – Relationships Lunch Session #3 – Career/Business Break Goal Setting Wrap Up
- 19. The 7 Grade Dropout th Returns Home
- 20. That Was…
- 21. Discrimination Food Stamps Worked Resentful Abused Depressed Station Wagon Hungry Then… Dumpsters 4 Dogs Struggle Angry Suicidal Homeless Threatened Jealousy Alcohol Shop Lifted Dropout Exhausted Bad Crowd Poor Mom 18 Cats NOT A Mother Violence Sister? Freezing Nights No Holidays No Dentist/Doctor Fear Desperation No Dad Lonely Mom Raped Drugs
- 22. This Is…
- 23. End Discrimination Work Hard Dream Car New Teeth Happiness Well Fed Master’s Great Job Degree Healthy Whacky NOW!!! Determined Thankful Mom Good Friends Home Owner!!! Vacations 1 Dog Positive Karma Music Harley Davidson Married Warm Providing Successful! Peaceful Appreciative 5 Cats Passionate Giving Laughter Excited Understanding Celebrations Fun
- 30. Starting right now I’m committing myself to a new way of thinking….
- 31. 1. Am I excited about work? 2. Am I excited about home?
- 32. Life 101
- 33. SIMPLE
- 41. “When you change the way you look at things…the things you look at begin to change” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
- 51. Victim OR Victor
- 52. If you continue to do what you’ve always done… Yo u will c o ntinue to g e t wha t y o u’ve a lwa y s g o t!
- 60. Part of Problem? OR Part of Solution?
- 62. Problems Are
- 71. Garbage In = Garbage Out!
- 89. OR Give Up!!!
- 90. “As Soon As You Settle For Less Than You Deserve You Get Less Than You Settled For!” – Maureen Dowd
- 92. Don’t Be LAZY!
- 93. “Whether YOU think YOU can or YOU think YOU can’t YOU’RE right!” - Henry Ford
- 94. Be A Kid!
- 98. RECAP • • • • • • Past – Present – Future What you focus on Everything happens for reason Choices Victim or Victor Belief inspires reality
- 106. + =
- 112. Seek First To Understand Then Be Understood
- 113. Do I Want To Be Right? OR HAPPY?
- 115. Revenge Vs. KARMA
- 126. Generational Differences Silents, Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, …. Backgrounds Values Expectations Technologies
- 128. The Right Time Deal As They Arise No Dirty Laundry Do Not Generalize
- 129. Problems Not People Take A Walk! Don’t Be Defensive!
- 132. =
- 135. You are like the five people you hang out with the most!
- 138. Checklist For Success Trustworthy Honest Dependable Respectful Friendly Creative Confident Flexible Understanding Decisive Compassionate Genuine Risk Taker
- 143. SENDER RECEIVER
- 145. Word Word Word Bla Word Bla Word Word Bla Word Word Word Bla Bla Word Word Word
- 146. Attitude + Words + Vocal Tone = Message
- 147. Bla Bla Bla! “Selective Hearing Disorder”
- 149. Hear Decode Relate
- 152. NEVER Interrupt!!!
- 154. “Is That Fair/Reasonable?” “Have You Considered…” “In other words…”
- 155. “What If…” “Why???” “Never” “Always” “Should” “Let’s See If We Can Compromise”
- 156. “I’d Like To Get Your Thoughts On Something” “What I’m Hearing You Say Is…” “I feel…When You…”
- 157. The Inside Voice “I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter” “I can see your point, but I still think you are full of crap!” “I like you…you remind me of when I was young and stupid”
- 158. Relationships The Basics Why We Need Them Components Of Relationships Tools For Success
- 160. RECAP • • • • • • We need them Expectations Understand first W.I.I.FM Conflict Emotions
- 165. Customer service begins with ME!
- 171. Don’t Just Show Up… Blow Up!!! Leave your mark on the world!
- 172. Grow Your Talents
- 180. Vs.
- 185. Consistent!!!!
- 187. “Get in the ditches”
- 190. Leadership Cycle Profits Leadership Or Loss Customer Morale Satisfaction Productivity & Quality
- 191. Teamwork – Inside Job • • • • • • • Happy or right DCY and QTIP My story with Yvonne Seek first.. Listen and paraphrase Part of problem or solution Two ears one mouth
- 196. $1,440 Would you spend it all wisely?
- 197. Time ½ Hour per day = 3hrs a week = 12hrs a month = 72hrs 6 months
- 198. What Is Negotiation?
- 199. Negotiate With??? • • • • • • Yourself Spouse/Family Boss/Coworkers Vendors/Customers Sparky Doctors
- 200. Negotiating Is… • Discovery Process – Supply & Demand – Needs Versus Wants • Building Partnerships • Not A Contest
- 201. Negotiation Styles • Hard – “I’ve got them in the palm of my hand” – “Take it or leave it, that’s my final offer” – “The sale ends today” • Soft – “Well, okay I guess if that is it” – “If you say that’s your best offer…”
- 202. • Win/Win • Best Foot Forward • No Sharing of Prices
- 203. • Devil’s Advocate • Vendors Experience • Involve Team & Experts • Think Big Picture – Long Term
- 204. Leave EGO At Home!!! Needs Versus Wants Know Concessions
- 205. Research Know The Pressures Know Options
- 206. Know The Timelines Attack The Problem Not The Person The Future – Not The Past
- 207. Seek First To Understand… Be Silent Happy or Right?
- 208. Never Assume Never Win Arguments Do Your Homework
- 209. React Versus Respond Keep Your Promises Stay In Touch
- 210. Successful Strategies Visualization Power Of Legitimacy Price – Save To last
- 211. Successful Strategies Get It In Writing Crazy Offer Team Negotiating Prepared & Organized
- 212. Successful Strategies First Generation Equipment Demonstrations Write “Thank You” Letter Barter
- 213. What YOU Can DO! Make Your Job Easier Suggest New Service To Customers Make Someone Else’s Job Easier Turn A Problem Into An Opportunity Improve Quality Or Enhance A Product Streamline Processes Introduce New Product
- 214. What YOU Can DO! Improve Morale Increase Increase Revenue Improve Teamwork Productivity Improve Increase Reduce Safety Expenses Communication
- 215. What YOU Can DO! Remember Important Dates & Names Stay & Look Organized Groom & Dress For Success Think Like An Owner Know The Strategic Plan Create Disaster Recovery Manual
- 216. What YOU Can DO! Orange County’s Best Company Contest Digital Voice Recorder Volunteer For Committees/Special Events Meet With Your Manager Prepared & Proactive For Meetings
- 217. What YOU Can DO! Write For Company Newsletter Report What You Learn – HR File Take Community Action Establish Personal Pledge For Following Up Write Department Mission Statement Under Promise/Over Deliver Go Green!
- 218. RECAP • • • • • • • Customer service is key! Reputation is everywhere Perceptions Take action Negotiate everything Teamwork Leadership
- 223. Life Goal #1 TO BE HAPPY!!!
- 237. Have a big enough WHY? And you’ll find a big enough HOW!
- 238. Think With The End In Mind
- 241. Why do you really want it? What’s the worst that can happen? Who are your 5 people? Where can you start today? & When will you have had enough?
- 243. Be SMART In Your Goal Planning! • S.M.A.R.T. –Specific –Measurable –Achievable –Realistic –Time Specific
- 244. Mind Mapping
- 253. Needs Vs. Wants
- 257. Increase more money Make by $200/Month Buy healthier food Time, jobs, energy Network, good sleep Clone myself! Resume, attitude, support
- 259. Life Expectancy – Average 75yrs Example: 75 – 42 = 33 $3,000/month $36,000/yr Goal: Retire at age 60 15yrs in retirement = $540,000!!!
- 267. Vs.
- 269. Fake It ‘til You Make It
- 277. What To Do? - Forgive the past - Eulogy - 777 Exercise (worksheet) - S.M.A.R.T. (goal worksheet)
- 278. What To Do? - Choose your words carefully Mind Mapping Vision Boards – Everywhere!! Google/YouTube Like Minded People / Ask For Help! Small chunks
- 279. Life Is Like A
- 282. RECAP • • • • The REAL goal Chunks Rewards along the way Resourceful
- 283. You Can Have Anything You Want – Just Not Everything
- 286. Definition Of Insanity = Doing the Same thing over and over expecting different results!
- 293. - Dr. Wayne Dyer
- 296. 1. 2.
- 298. Feel Fear – Do It Anyway Take Risks Positive Believe
- 299. Starting NOW! Be in the moment Believe_______ Have big WHY’s
- 300. - George Elliot
Notas do Editor
- What’s in it for them? Don’t limit yourself to the position you have today Don’t limit yourself based on past conditioning People are watching – even when you think they aren’t How many of you are guilty of spending more time thinking about the past than living in the now?
- Tutti Frooty
- James Brown
- Van Halen - Panama
- Steve Miller – rockin me
- Bee Gees Stayin Alive
- Bee Gees Stayin Alive
- Bee Gees Stayin Alive
- Bon Jovi “It’s My Life”
- Sometimes we need to return to basics because we often overcomplicate our crap and lose site of the simplicity of most things We’ll discuss exactly why we need them
- Let’s just be US!
- I was just like you Share where I’ve been since I left Talk about YOUR future
- Tell my story
- Share with you how I did it
- I didn’t meet this people as SUIT AND TIE Christopher….because I wasn’t showing up!
- Let’s get started with this – if you can answer YES to both you can leave – you have a KICKASS life already!
- “I am ready and willing to ace the tests of life”
- Our choice how we respond to the event To find how we can grow and learn OR become a victim of the situation and mire in our crap! You’re here today for a reason so, that’s the first step! Now, let’s take some more Have people repeat this after me….and throughout the presentation
- Slide: Discuss each of these in detail Trust: Jealousy will ruin a relationship faster than anything. You can’t hold someone in your present accountable for something that happened in your past Self-confidence People need to be individuals ATTITUDE: You have to be happy and deal with your attitude before you can think about having successful relationships!
- Everything we believe up until this moment is based on our conditioning – from outsiders and from within. In order to change what we’ve been doing that’s not necessarily working, we MUST reprogram how we look at life and the future. Telling the truth/lying Right/Wrong – being right to get love etc.
- How you react/respond to a given situation will result in your attitude You come to group and have a bad attitude People sense it and push your buttons (BTW – there will always be button pushers in your life) You react You get into trouble You get even madder Get into more trouble Do drugs to escape More trouble Addictions You feel bad Short term escape (feel good) Feel worse for having done it Do it again to escape feeling bad, but need a little more Feel even worse Do it again Repeat Seen it with food, drugs, alcohol,
- Elephant story We get attention Based on the programming we let get into our belief systems
- (new slide) The past does NOT equal the present. What most of us face is: PAST Conditioning Judgments Love withdrawn FEAR of rejection PRESENT Comfort zone Ignorance Lazy Excuses Assumptions Take for granted Beliefs FUTURE Uncertainty What if???? TODAY, we’re going to break through some of this nonsense!!!
- Forgiveness Don’t beat yourself up!
- Video is 1min approximately
- Elephant story We get attention Based on the programming we let get into our belief systems
- Self-Fulfilling prophecies Limiting beliefs What you focus on you get more of
- Dreams/Nightmares you thought were real? Body doesn’t know real reality versus perceived reality Vision board
- Who could REALLY use one million dollars right now? I was talking with one of my clients the other day who has been really down and out, and I said “Would a million dollars make everything alright?” He said yeah, and I said what would you be willing to trade for it? How about your eyesight? How about just $500,000 for your hearing? Legs? Morale: You wake up a millionaire every single morning and you don’t even realize it!
- Elephant story We get attention Based on the programming we let get into our belief systems
- If you do drugs etc., then chances are your results will show negatively If you feed your mind with bullshit and listen to the negativity in the news and all around us…then your attitude will show it
- Share what has changed since the last two presentations for you?
- “If you don’t first succeed…try, try, try again” Wayne Gretzy said “I miss 100% of the shots I don’t take” I tried so many times and took a bit of what I learned and kept on going Failing is not the falling down, staying down – FUCK SOME SHIT UP! If we learn from our mistakes then why don’t we make more????
- (new slide) POLLING QUESTION How many of you are REALLY living versus just simply existing?
- Success Judgment Failing Rejection NOT BEING IN CONTROL [ ] List from “Feel The Fear & Do It…”
- Fear protects us When did we learn we were afraid of something? Perceived fear When we think we aren’t in control anymore – but usually we are
- Workbook – Fear exercise Discuss Write on flip chart
- The words you use will make you right! Words don’t have meaning – we give meaning to the words Negative words used repeatedly will negatively program our subconscious They are excuses Protection systems so they don’t get hurt or disappointed Everything in life depends on how you look at it “I just can’t work with so and so…” “I won’t ever get through to so and so…” “I am never going to make so and so understand…” “We just have so many problems” versus “We just have so many opportunities” – Which one sounds like you can overcome? Belief Inspires Reality! Postiive affirmations
- Read the story about feeding the two wolves – it’s your choice
- Who can tell me the difference? “I did the BEST I could” – BULLSHIT!
- Main excuses Money Time Fear
- To let people get the best of you To react or respond To surround yourself with positive people To read books and listen to audio programs “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing” – Theodore Roosevelt
- To quit stealing To get a job To try and fit in and be normal Finally leave the motel To not do cocaine and ecstasy To workout – get rid of my aggressions To take everyone's advice and go back to school To keep going back to despite the financial hardship Not to kill Rick and my wife after they cheated on me To learn what other successful people have done to listen to those with more experience To change my behavior and my attitude about people - they're all the same and to respect what makes us unique To take constructive criticism instead of rebel against it To try and take medication for depression and ADHD To have safe sex To quit fighting and being so angry To keep learning To always try new things To never be lazy and to blame others
- Tony Robbins says…. Avoid pain Short-term gratification versus long-term results Until the pain becomes too great We need to associate the pain NOW in order to take action and ultimately avoid regrets later Gain pleasure Again, short-term…. Examples: Health Eating bad food to feel better…but becomes the vicious cycle because then you feel like shit… Not going to the doctors or demanding more tests NOW Relationships Mr./Mrs. “Right Now” but not for long-term Putting up with crap until it’s too late instead of addressing the elephant in the room that isn’t going away Kids – not being honest with them about their skills etc. but knowing eventually someone is going to tell them Wants versus needs Sometimes the pain is self-inflicted because we don’t think we deserve pleasure How many women didn’t have an orgasm until they were 40 because they wouldn’t just let go People die too early when all they want it pleasure Pain serves a purpose and we must listen to it Especially if it’s been there for awhile Go seek professional help It doesn’t just go away Stress kills so quit sitting in quiet desperation
- Thought patterns “How is that working for you?” Goes back to the problem or solution
- Focus on what YOU can control Internal cleansing is mandatory – like flushing the toxins from your body
- The minute you settle for less than you deserve you get even less than you settled for!
- The day you stop being a kid is the day you know you’re going to die Did you ever just sit there for hours and stair at a toy in a catalog and imagine how you would play with it? Remember when Halloween came around and you couldn’t wait to dress up and use your imagination? Did you ever play games using imaginary tools? When we were kids people would ask “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and the answers would be “Astronaut”, “Fireman”, “Race car driver” etc. Why is this relevant? Because, the single point in all of these is we BELIEVED it could be true!
- The rest of workbook exercises – 10mins
- What makes each of us special
- Who here likes math? I’m going to start off with a simple equation – let’s see if you know the answer We are different and I’m no better than you and you aren’t any better that someone else Racism – I don’t understand how we can be mad at other people because of what they look and sound like How can black people be mad at white people for slavery? How can white people look at black people and think they are felons Perceptions are our reality – not right or wrong – just is Ask yourself this question “Is it possible, that if I went through what that person did, that I too would be like him?”
- Like I said before, we all come to the table with everything we’ve learned in life up until this point We all have our own opinion and that is perfectly alright HOWEVER, we need to understand the differences and work together toward the common goal
- No sterotypes
- People want to talk and get what they want whether it’s sympathy or something else. When you listen, and understand, until they are done, then, they are out of steam and will listen to you
- People want to talk and get what they want whether it’s sympathy or something else. When you listen, and understand, until they are done, then, they are out of steam and will listen to you Sometimes you have to agree to disagree – people are entitled to their opinions It’s also like saying “Win the battle or lose the war”
- People want to talk and get what they want whether it’s sympathy or something else. When you listen, and understand, until they are done, then, they are out of steam and will listen to you When we react, we say and do things out of frustration. We tend to attack and that puts people on the defensive. So, they attack back (Fight or flight) We only hurt ourselves
- Success is the BEST revenge Tammy and Rick story Mom and how she treated me and her mom Golden Rule: “Do undo others as you would have done undo you”
- Self-Fulfilling prophecies Limiting beliefs What you focus on you get more of
- Being angry implies control
- With ourselves (most importantly) and others….even if it hurts Prolonging the honesty and accepting it and moving forward is true AGONY. What bad habits do we use to hide and ignore the honesty we feel truly in our hearts, but deny to say in fear of hurting somone?
- Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! This portion of today’s seminar is entitled “Generational Leadership” and deals with managing multiple generations at one time. For the first time, we have 4 different generations in the workforce which can lead to serious conflict and frustration because as you will see, they all have different backgrounds and expectations. The American Society of Training and Development indicates that 76 million Americans will be retiring in the next two decades with only 42 million available to replace. This is being called the “boomer brain drain” because all of that information will be gone – unless we do something about it today. We will look at the differences, then more importantly we’ll offer you suggestions for managing the newest generation “Y’s”
- This is a huge subject that I have a seminar dedicated to. Also, consider where geographically you are negotiating. If I was in New York, I would expect a bit of a tougher go at it if I was a sales person. Consider internationally as well. Even if someone is here in the States, they may still operate as though they were in their country.
- Dreams/Nightmares you thought were real? Body doesn’t know real reality versus perceived reality Vision board
- If you are writing something – wait until the next day to send it. Chances are you will change your mind
- Don’t take things personally (QTIP) Don’t let other people control how you feel!!! Everything is not always about us
- People want to feel special
- Alright, so let’s talk about how we can make our relationships incredibly stronger shall we? I’m up here encoding a message so that it hits you and causes a thought process
- Language Barriers: Makes it very difficult to really understand what people are saying and more importantly ensuring they are meaning what they are saying Assumptions: Makes an ASS out of YOU and ME! If we assume, before the message is delivered, guess what…we’ll make the assumption true Distractions: So much going on in the world today – ADHD – rushing around….demands… Wants: You have wants…I have wants…but we need to want to listen and understand each other Egos:
- How many of you have people who have perfected the art of talking about nothing? It’s like the teacher off Charlie Brown (WAH..>WAHHH…WAH…Wah..) STORY: Dana - Barb
- However, when we truly speak, we prepare ourselves for the event What is my attitude right now? Will that effect my tone? Use words that fit your audience. Don’t try to impress them – you’ll just make them feel stupid (my experience)
- By a show of hands, how many times have you been somewhat listening to a “talker” only to get the question “Did you hear a word I just said” and you try to put a few words together and make an assumption? This is a relationship killer for many marriages!!! Or worse yet, they don’t ask, we assume, and later find out we were wrong. Then, we get defensive, they get defensive and the ultimate goal isn’t achieved
- Self-Fulfilling prophecies Limiting beliefs What you focus on you get more of Become a Better ListenerPractice Active Listening Active listening is a vital part of good communication. Mirroring, paraphrasing, and clarification are examples of active listening skills that have been demonstrated to be effective for reaching understanding. Most communication experts recommend some variation of these skills. Use them to bridge the gap in your listening differences. To listen effectively you should CARE for those you're listening to: C - concentrate - focus on the speaker A - acknowledge - through body language - nod your head occasionally or say uh-huh R - respond - ask questions for clarification and interest E - empathize - share in their emotions and feelings. Validate your partner Embrace a positive approach and attitude: We get more in life of what we concentrate on. A positive conversations is more likely when you start it in a positive way. It sets the tone and will determine where the focus of the conversation is likely to head. If you start with a phrase that can be interpreted to be accusing or demeaning such as "You didn't... or "You make me feel..." a male is apt to focus on how he can defend himself against whatever you are going to say and a female is apt to focus on her emotions and feelings about the relationship. Avoid a negative distraction by choosing a positive approach that speaks to the issue and not against the person. Since people tend to mirror the emotional state of others, we have an opportunity to start in a positive way. When you observe that your partner is not engaged in what you are saying, it's a sure sign that you should start over, use a different approach, or pick a better time. You will be disappointed if you go on blindly. In this case you have the opportunity to say something like, "I get the impression you are focused on other things. It's important to me that we both understand what I'm talking about. Would you prefer to continue later? I suggest __o'clock. Is that okay?" When both the speaker and the listener focus on the conversation, both are more likely to be satisfied with both the process and the outcome. Anything less is incomplete and dissatisfying with plenty of opportunity for misunderstanding. The ingredients for successful conversations include understanding your communication preferences and differences and then making positive choices about how you will talk to your partner or co-worker and how you will listen. We recommend that you talk about your differences. There is nothing like talking about how you communicate to get to the heart of the matter. Discuss what goes right and what goes wrong in your conversations. Ask yourself why you ended up in an argument when it should have been just a conversation. What happens when you solve problems without conflict? When you find the answers you have the opportunity to solve problems instead of experiencing them over and over again. In addition to these and other gender based communication preferences beyond that of focus, individuals have their own preferences on how they take in information. We all translate what we hear or ay based on who we are. The sum total of our heredity and our life experience, who we are, serves to filter everything. We see the world through our own colored glasses and we walk in our own shoes. We may not even be aware of the color of our glasses but they are there nonetheless. Beyond our filters, preferences may be generally categorized in terms of how we relate to feelings, thoughts, visuals, or even physical movement (kinesthetic). The reference clues come in how someone speaks in a response or opinion. For example: "I think..." indicates a thinking preference. "I feel..." indicates a feeling preference. "It looks like..." indicates a visual preference. A person with a kinesthetic preference may describe things in terms of movement or even model it with his/her body. When people with different preferences talk, there are opportunities for miscommunication and frustration. A "thinker" listening to a "feeler" may miss much of the message while they struggle to translate emotions into logical thought. We act as though we are speaking different languages and that's not far from the truth. Remember: Good communication requires active listening. If you want to communicate well with your listener and make a point then speak the "language" of the listener.
- I’m not going to lie – to really listen takes a lot of concentration and work! Especially if you have a “talker”
- Has anyone ever said “don’t you look at me like that!” Body language is requires our attention and more importantly our discipline First impressions STORY: Terry Creveston with her hands and smirky smiles….she has no clue she is doing it STORY: People would think I was mad – I didn’t smile much before I had braces…it affected how people interacted with me EXERCISE: Have people stand as though were sad, sullen, no confidence, and have them introduce themselves to person next to them Then, act as though you were the most confident happy person in the room Discuss the differences and how you felt. Was it hard to muster up the extra energy? Did you want to continue the conversation?
- Face Eyes Rollilng Looking elsewhere Blinking Mouth Head Tone Hands Body Legs Mannerisms Fidgety No eye contact
- I could go on about relationships and communication and actually offer that in a different workshop “Why” puts people on the defensive “Never…” is HUGE in relationships – places people on the defensive!
- “I feel…” is better than “You make me feel like crap” – “I feel frustrated when you don’t turn in the reports on time” is better than “you never turn your reports in on time”
- Now…how many of you have an “inside voice”? Remember “Ally McBeal”?
- Workbook: Questions #26 #28 #29 #30 Exercises: Body Language Listening
- I changed and so can you!
- You want people to believe you’re the absolute best – you should be on their team! Definitely not a waste of money!!!
- It’s NOT business as usual We don’t produce anything anymore – it’s ALL about service! Here at the association At work Customers Friends Where will your job/industry be in 5,10,15yrs?
- - Someone will tell at least 10 people about bad, but not good (twice as many)
- Build YOUR brand Be the EXPERT Be the “GO TO PERSON” Leave a legacy Network constantly!!! Be creative
- This slogan changed my way of thinking!!
- Let’s get started talking about mindset
- We MUST be open to change! Adapting ourselves to changing environments is key to longevity and success
- (new slide) POLLING QUESTION: If someone gave you $1,440 per day and the only caveat was you spent it WISELY or you had to give what was left back, would you spend all of it? Time is the ONE thing we can’t save! Time is the one thing no amount of money can buy back!! Either way, the time will go – it’s the one thing we can’t save!
- Books read? Podcasts listened to? Exercise done? Research done? You HAVE to invest in YOURSELF! Sacrifice the sports games…the reality shows…or better…reward yourself AFTER you’ve done the work! How long is your daily commute?
- Simply put, negotiation is about me and you! Your wants and desires versus mine. If you are selling something, your desires are to close deals to make commissions. If you are buying, you want the best product for the right price. Throughout this presentation we’ll be discussing the old cliché’ “Win/WIN”. If it isn’t illegal, immoral, or unethical, then game on! With this, you can clearly see a MAJOR component of negotiating is relationships.
- Give some examples: Yourself “Okay, if I do this and that, then I can have (reward)…Nah…that’s too hard, how about if…” weight loss rewards Saving for special “if I tuck away my Starbucks money for 6months I can go to Figi for a week” “Gosh…I really need a new car, but I can get this one fixed, but I am getting a raise in a few months” These are the negotiations I REALLY hate to lose! However, if we win them all, what happens? We find ourselves with a deal we can’t make good on! Family: “Going to the movies, but only after you finish your homework and do your chores. But mom, that will take all day..how about if I do my chores today and then tomorrow while you are shopping, I will do my homework?” Spouse: To husband “Honey, I know you really want to watch the games tomorrow, so how about we go see the new Sex In The City movie tonight? Husband to wife: WHAT??? You want me to see that chick flick on opening night??? Are you crazy? Wife to husband: Yeah, I can see your point, I guess we can see something different and perhaps we can do that yard work we’ve been putting off for months tomorrow Husband To wife: What time should I be ready tonight? Boss/Coworkers: This is happening all the time! The one I hear most often that isn’t happening is negotiating the perks or additional income. I’ll give you a tremendous tool in just a little bit that will help with these negotiations. Mechanics, service people, restaurants/waiters, doctors, Just to show you how much we negotiate – think about the family dog. Good ole Sparky wants the treat, but you want him to do the trick first, Sparky dances around as if to say “gimmee treat gimme treat” while you are saying “Sit Sparky” – you are negotiating. What happens if Sparky holds out longer than you? He gets the treat and you tell your spouse “seriously, we need to get that dog professionally trained” STORY: Tell story of negotiating with doctor not to be on pills
- Negotiation is this: You have a need – I have a product….I have an expectation – you have an expectation. Negotiation is alignment of expectations “Needs versus wants” – before you negotiate, list what you absolutely have to have, then what you want, but in declining order so you can use as concessions. Also, look at the deep need you have. I need more productivity, I need cost reduction, I need redundancy, I need consistent support, Is it a buyers or sellers market? Know what pressures your client or vendor is under and work into your negotiation process STORY: I learned the importance of partnerships when we contracted to use a freight consultant. Got super low rates, but at what expense? How inclined did the rep feel to offer my that extra help when a package needed to rerouted? I look for that in a partnership – I help you and you help me.
- You get more bees with honey
- I’ve worked hard on establishing myself as a straight up person who doesn’t play the negotiation game. Time is precious. “Best Foot Forward” UPS thought we wouldn’t leave them (EGO), but we did. When they came back, they REALLY sharpened their pencil. “No sharing of prices” means that I won’t share YOUR prices either! Establishes trust and respect – keep it about the desired outcome What if you didn’t share your price? Perhaps they were going to offer you lower?
- Seek & Utilize establishes respect for their position and knowledge, enables me to become more educated (people love to talk about themselves), then provides me insight with other vendors during the bid process. The Bogey “Involve your team of experts” means to include I.T. if you are negotiating anything related to them. Even if you are buying the vendors equipment etc. STORY: Scancode and Neopost we saved money by buying the computers and maintaining them ourselves. Just negotiated new Mail Center equipment and based on my past relationships with the company, they knew my style, and not only provided additional machines, but also we lowered the cost. “Think Big Picture” means that when you are looking at specifications, look at what your capacities are going to be in 5 years. With printing, we are already anticipating the decline because of the increased digital nature. At our next contract, we’ll be thinking of going for less depending on needs.
- “Leave your ego at the door” I have had sales reps lose more business because of their egos. Pitney Bowes Rep (aggressive) UPS reps – Egos Neopost reps – Egos, no follow-through Voice message just the other day “I need you to call me back now – make it a great day” Take the emotion out of the negotiating process “Needs versus wants” – Be careful to determine what your real capacities are and that you aren’t being over sold something (IGEN) “Concessions” – Usually made at the 11th hour! As a customer, I am not the first to make a concession Never give one without getting one if easy to get, they will feel entitled to it and go for more – make it challenging Are usually given when one party is feeling more pressure than the other STORY: I bought a car a few years back that involved multiple negotiations. The one with myself and the car salesman. I couldn’t get negotiation in my head right so he kept coming out making concessions since it was a Sunday approaching 11pm. Be careful in the increments of concessions you make. If the price is $1600 and you can pay $1400…don’t start with $1250. When they say “No” ask for alternative solutions – this leads them to making the first concession and places you more in control “Know the pressures” – Are the stocks dumping, is there a threat of a merger? Is it month end/quarter/year end?
- “Need Versus Wants” Make a list prior to beginning the negotiating process and identify what your TRUE needs are. Increased production, reduction in downtime, lower costs, more support. Then, list your “wants” in order that you will be willing to offer concessions later. “Know Your Options” means to know where you can go if this negotiation isn’t going as planned. Know that if you are trying to get new mail equipment that your option is to outsource. Know your costs and how that would impact your organization. I’ve considered my options in negotiations to help the rep to understand I may not REALLY need this equipment if I have options to consider.
- Cognitive Dissonance If we focus on the past, then we tend to defend ourselves (positions). My motto: Yesterday is gone and served as a learning tool for me – tomorrow is a new day…
- “Seek First To…” Ask Questions
- “Stay In Touch” Rep was super responsive and happy before contract signed, but once signed, she disappeared. “Oh you need to call so and so for that…” When it came time to talk about new business again I explained my expectations. On the contrary, I’ve had reps onsite during installing, training, and once a week thereafter. Partner?
- About offers – you want yours so that you have room to negotiate. Don’t open to close to what you will settle for “Price – Save To Last” When you know you can’t budge on a price and their offer is much higher, keep the negotiations about everything else until the end. Then, the person has too much time invested and they will be more inclined to lower their price rather than having to start all over again with a new client. Non-Negotiable Saving Face
- Get it in writing: The T’s & C’s spell out the deal, but also get implementation, training, etc. in writing. What if installation is delayed? What happens? Also, ensure your Legal team reviews the contracts in between revisions (people get sneaky). LOT’S of protection for the vendor, but not much for the customer – don’t be afraid to ask. WATCH out for late payment penalties!!!! Oh yeah, we can do that….Ask them to sign that! Funny thing happens when people are held accountable. Patient: I think I have this and would like a test..Doctor: You don’t have that – here take a pill. Okay, sign this stating I don’t have that…. Prepared: If you are constantly unprepared and disorganized, the person with whom you are negotiating with will see at as a sign of weakness STORY: Check everything: Xerox came in with great proposal, bigger machines, same costs, thought was a done deal – checked the exhaust and electrical requirements. $25K to make that happen! Again, get your experts involved
- Here’s an additional tip – be super careful what you write/post on your networking sites (Facebook etc) Bidding technologies: Print Vision, First Gen Equipment: Neopost story – free, but cost A LOT. Think about Windows, Iphone…you are their QC department Demos: If making a big purchase, see it in a production environment. Demo rooms are clean and the machines barely get used. If you are a sales person, establish partnerships with a few key accounts and offer some free ink or something in exchange for a tour for a potential customer.
- Report what you learn – People who are making the decisions may look in your file. Your boss may know what you are doing, but does everyone else? Perhaps another manager is looking to promote you? Take community action – Support homeless family, Olive Crest, that gets positive attention
- The rest of workbook exercises – 10mins
- Why do you think people fail to achieve their goals (write on board)
- No matter what, we’re all on a journey to be truly “Happy” Question: Who here is TRULY happy in all areas of your life? Tony Robbins says we either do things to avoid pain or to gain pleasure The key to happiness is being honest with ourselves, deciding we’ve had enough, and taking action
- Lose weight = get healthier = live longer = attract mates = feel more confident = help others with your success = piss someone off (revenge) Make more money = financial independence = Buy more things = provide for family = secure future = help others = reduce stress Buy house = grow the family = reduce stress = financial investment (in future) = tax incentive/deduction Change career = reduce stress = make more money = enjoy what you do = reduce commute = do something you love to do Start own business = financial independence = personal independence = help others Meet a mate Then, you create multiple goals instead of just one. They become the small milestones
- Life is like driving a car – if you continually look in the rear view mirror you’re gonna crash!
- What is the comfort zone? It’s that place we stay so we don’t: Piss anyone off Hurt anyone Disappoint ourselves or others Risk rejection It’s all about one thing – CERTAINTY! But the truth is we need some uncertainty too otherwise we’d never get off our asses and plan (for our future etc) If you BELIEVE crap is going to happen, then most likely it will The difference between LIVING and EXISTING If you’re not uncomfortable more times than not, you’re probably not doing enough UNLESS you’re ok with that. Some people just want the simple life and that’s great Think about all the great discoveries The black lady on the bus who stepped up and wouldn’t ride in the back The first time you kissed someone Rode a bike Ultimately it wasn’t so bad after all right? We build it up so much in our minds that we believe the experience is going to literally kill us
- Be MacGyver!!!
- Common reasons for procrastinationPerfectionism: A common reasons for procrastinating is perfectionism. Perfectionists avoid starting a task because they worry that they might fall short of their own high standards. Perfectionists will become absorbed in the details, attempting to control every aspect of the task and ignore moving a project along until the very last minute. The perfectionist does not have to face their fear of imperfection if the task does not get done.Fantasizing: These individuals are better at day dreaming than in dealing with reality. People who fantasize find it difficult to turn their grandiose thinking into clear concrete plans for action. They make bosses happy with their great and grand ideas, but later make them frustrated with their lack of results.Fear: This person actually procrastinates because they fear doing the task or project at hand. The task has moved them out of their comfort zone and the thought of doing it freezes them into immobility. You see this form of procrastination occur when a person delays making a phone call because he or she fears that the other party may not like what they have to say.Crisis Maker: These people believe that they cannot get motivated until the very last minute. They are likely to make other people mad because they end up manufacturing a needless crisis in order to get the project finished. To start a task early just does not interest them.Anger: The angry person resents having to do the task in the first place; therefore, they do not do it because of spite. By not working on the task they feel better than if they worked on it. If they do the task because they have to, it is likely to be done wrong or incomplete.Overdoers: The overdoer avoids what they need to do by taking on other lessor important tasks or projects. In other words, they avoid the task at hand by doing more tasks. Hence, their excuse for why they are late is just having too many things to do.Pleasure Seeker: This person's priority is to seek positive over negatives at all times. They delay because there are more fun things to do to fulfill their immediate gratifications than the project you gave them. These people turn in projects that obviously show that their heart is not in it. Solutions Perfectionism: If you procrastinate because you worry about not performing up to your own high standards, what you need to do is to start looking at the "shoulds" and the "oughts" and the "musts" that are telling you how perfect the project must be done. Instead substitute word phrases such as, "It would be nice..." and "Hopefully it will turn out..." and "Lets see how it turns out...." Secondly, set up two deadlines. The first deadline being your own deadline date for the project and the second one being the real one. Your goal is to aim at meeting your own deadline, and your reward for meeting that deadline is that you can have extra time to make the project perfect. Fantasizing: If you fantasize too much instead of working, it is time for you to come back down to earth. Hence your goal is to monitor your talk so you avoid biting off more than you can chew. Fantasize more in your head than out loud in a meeting. If you find yourself in a bind by not being able to produce what you convinced others of, go and tell them that you now realize your project needs to be broken down into smaller tasks, with the ultimate goal of getting the whole project done. In addition, set up earlier deadlines than what the real deadline is for the project. In that way, if you meet your early deadline, you will have time to attempt to expand the project into something bigger if you desire.Fear: If you procrastination because of fear, first say to yourself that fear is good. Go ahead and say it, "Fear is good." Why? Because fear makes us grow the same way that water and sunlight make a plant grow. By overcoming fear we conquer it and defeat it. Next say to yourself it is best to defeat fear earlier than later. If you do not defeat fear earlier it will grow like a snowball going down hill. So as soon as you sense fear, that means "GO" and not "stop." Hence, just do it! Your reward for not procrastinating is a sense of relaxation that the fear is gone. Remember that 90% of what you worry about never happens, and the other 10% happens, but it is never as bad as you thought it would happen.Crisis Maker: If you procrastinate because you are a crisis maker, your task is a difficult one because you have probably spent many years feeling thrilled by being under time deadlines. Hopefully, you have had a recent failure that is causing you to re-think your pattern of waiting to the last minute. Your task is to set and meet earlier deadlines and to create rewards for yourself for being done ahead of time. Perhaps you can reward yourself by going skydiving or mountain biking to help you get that adrenaline rush you crave.Anger: If you procrastinate because of anger, work to shift your focus of anger away from the job task and onto the person that you feel angry toward. This might mean that you talk to the person that you feel angry towards, to attempt to resolve your feelings. If that is not possible, attempt to see a personal worth or reward in the project that you are doing. Attempt to see something that you can gain by doing it. After you have completed the project and are going over the outcomes with your supervisor, show pride in how well you completed it and talk about the enjoyment you attain by doing it.Overdoers: Have the hardest time recognizing themselves as overdoers because to them everything is important. "How in the world could they ever let anything go," they tell themselves, "Just who else would do it!" Prioritizing and delegating and saying "No" are not the overdoers strong points. But that is exactly what they need to do! Get paper and pencil and force yourself to prioritize what is really important and what is just busy work. Yes, busy work. Tell yourself that you no longer have the excuse, "I was just too busy to get that project done."Pleasure Seeker: Are you the grasshopper that played music all summer long while the ants stored away food for the winter time? Remember, rewards come after work and not before work, just as dessert comes after dinner. Usually the reward for not doing a task is the reward of avoidance of pain. The avoidance of pain is a powerful reinforcer to not start a task or project. In order to change, you will need to provide yourself with a positive reinforcer as soon as you start the task or project and at the completion of the task or project.
- Have a song to sing as a group Write down five songs that inspire you – get you motivated Maybe have them call them out and I see if I have them on my ipod?
- The real key to success in goal setting is having a big enough WHY – that translates into finding the HOW Know your REAL motivation Where there’s a will…there’s a way Have you ever been under extreme pressure to get something done? Did you get it done? You became instantaneously resourceful Examples: Bad health diagnosis Death in the family REGRETS Wanted a new whatever became the motivation to save money, get another job, sell stuff… Our priorities changed right? Became suddenly single we had the motivation to get back into the gym Relationships The wife who leaves her abusive husband because he’s now hit the kid The husband who leaves the wife who’s a boozer because now she’s threatening the lives of the kids When we were kids we’d get “If you do this, then you’ll GET that!” and we did it right? Well, most of the times lol Basically when we’ve hit the bottom of what we’re willing to accept (no longer settling) Now, let’s talk about the 5 W’s that will help you….
- Self-Fulfilling prophecies Limiting beliefs What you focus on you get more of
- 1. Eulogy exercise worksheet Mine: Christopher Rausch was a loving husband and father, as well as a best friend. He always strived to better himself for not only his own gain, but to also set the example for others to follow. The impact he had in each and everyone of our lives is evident by how much better we are today as a result of his enthusiastic positive “can-do” attitude. His sarcastic and witty humor always brought smiles to our face because often what was funny - was also very true. He lived a life that began as a constant struggle to survive, but persevered to become successful despite his surroundings and influences. He taught and showed us to believe in ourselves and to always fight for what was right and fair no matter the consequences. To be around his energy and passion for life was absolutely infectious! Lastly, he wanted to leave this world a better place for having been a part of it…and seeing you all here today, I believe he succeeded! He was here was once here in body, but will always be here in our hearts!
- WHY do you REALLY want it? We think usually at one layer, but it’s really something even bigger Lose weight Live longer Find a mate Not be uncomfortable in clothes/public/with friends etc. To piss someone off because they think you can’t do it What’s the worst that can happen? Plan for the WORST Identify potential obstacles Solve for them Will keep positive attitude that everything happens for a reason Nothing ventured nothing gained Wayne Gretzky “I miss 100% of the shots I don’t take” I WILL survive no matter what Who are your five people? Surround yourself with people who can and will help you achieve your goal – NOT pull you down with their own insecurities Where to find them:- Networking events Online social groups Authors/experts who have training materials DO NOT try to do it yourself Where can you start today? 1% compound effect Builds confidence Build slowly – don’t expect overnight success Learn something new everyday about what you want to accomplish Get a life coach or an accountability partner Put money with a bet (big enough why!) Bet someone that when you do succeed they agree to do something they’ve been putting off too When will you have had enough? Tony Robbins – everything to avoid pain or to gain pleasure What do you want? Be specific and peel back the onion What’s the worst that can happen? Figure it out, solve it, and move on
- So, why do we self-sabatage? We’ve been conditioned to ALWAYS be seeking love, acceptance, and approval from those we love the most How many of you have let someone down more than once? So, we think “Oh, if I just stay right here in my comfort zone I won’t piss anyone off” Listen, if people around you try to beat you down instead of build you up, then you need new people! We’re often our own worst enemies right? We’ll beat ourselves up over and over when other people let it go after we apologize All of these motions are natural and a part of the journey Embrace them when they happen and accept they’re happening for a reason – a lesson if you will so LISTEN!
- Okay, with that, we’ll move into our first step in planning out our goals By a show of hands, who regularly writes down their goals? Who uses this method? Who sticks to it? Who changes it if it’s not working? SPECIFIC Unless it’s specific how can you measure it? I want to make more money versus I want to make $10,000 more a month Lose weight versus 10lbs Fix the house up versus re-tile the bathroom etc. MEASUREABLE You can measure $10K, but can’t measure “more money” ACHIEVABLE Something can be achievable, but don’t kill yourself REALISTIC Basically the same as achievable but can you work 20hrs a day for 2years in a row? Will your family support you while you do this or will it cause other problems? TIME SPECIFIC Without deadlines where’s the pressure? See the FUTURE NOW to get the inspiration
- Risk Taking What’s the worst that can happen? Plan for how you’ll recover Get buy-in from interested parties (make it their idea if you can) SWOT (Strengths - Opportunities – Weaknesses – Threats) Mistakes teach us what not to do next time If it’s not working, change it back Listen to your gut!!! Ask people who’ve already done it Forums online are GREAT for this Belief inspires reality Visualize your success Identify ALL of the benefits Start small – build confidence
- Don’t take things personally (QTIP) Don’t let other people control how you feel!!! Everything is not always about us
- Here’s a word no one likes to hear. Why? Because it feels painful just to say it. BUT, if it’s YOUR choice to invest in something more important than the guilty pleasure you’re indulging in…wasting precious time, then it doesn’t hurt so bad does it? When I talked to seniors who do the shoulda/coulda game…I ask them if the hours spent watching the football games etc. could have been better spent? The answer? Without fail, yes! If you spend more time watching tv or anything else non-productive than you do that’s investing in your future, then you’re wasting life!!! “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at begin to change” – Dr Wayne Dyer
- Here’s a word no one likes to hear. Why? Because it feels painful just to say it. BUT, if it’s YOUR choice to invest in something more important than the guilty pleasure you’re indulging in…wasting precious time, then it doesn’t hurt so bad does it? When I talked to seniors who do the shoulda/coulda game…I ask them if the hours spent watching the football games etc. could have been better spent? The answer? Without fail, yes! If you spend more time watching tv or anything else non-productive than you do that’s investing in your future, then you’re wasting life!!! “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at begin to change” – Dr Wayne Dyer
- If you do drugs etc., then chances are your results will show negatively If you feed your mind with bullshit and listen to the negativity in the news and all around us…then your attitude will show it
- Elephant story We get attention Based on the programming we let get into our belief systems
- Elephant story We get attention Based on the programming we let get into our belief systems
- Random Notes: Goals that are too tough Goals that are too easy Other people’s goals for US Disappointment Failure Effort The difference between successful people and the rest Flexibility Having team/family support Write them down Have an accountability partner/life coach (why weight watchers is successful!) Negative self-talk You deserve success Let go of the past Child like dreams of doing something and nothing stopping you Rewards along the way They are easy but rarely does anyone do them! - even me! Sacrifice 1% compound effect Builds confidence You WILL survive! Give examples of small steps Set the example for others to follow
- Workbook – Goal Setting
- Dreams/Nightmares you thought were real? Body doesn’t know real reality versus perceived reality Vision board
- (new slide) Story of being in convalescent hospitals and just talking to older people…. “If I knew then what I know now…” “If I had it all to do over again I would…” “I always thought I would….after….”
- If there is something you want, start modeling the person who already has it Dress for the job you want, not the one you have If you act happy, sing out loud, smile…your body will respond positively Don’t be insincere though –
- Stand up for this part to change their state
- If you put a bunch of crappy ingredients and one good thing, it’s still going to taste like crap! Sad thing, we drink it anyway Don’t let other people put shit in your blender!!! Adjust to taste – just like your life – change your ingredients and the taste will change!!!
- (new slide) Focus Focus Focus….we tend to lose focus when we are inundated with choices. Are you ever amazed when you see a laser cut through steel? Basically a light is cutting steel! If we use our brains like lasers, we’ll be amazed at how much we can really accomplish if we focus OUR light beams. Before we can begin the steps to achieving our goals, we must first have a refresher course in goal setting. Who knows the acronym for SMART?
- Too often we play this game with ourselves. The point is, we need to accept the past is in the past and focus on what we can learn about our decision making skills and move forward The honesty is we didn’t for whatever reason
- Schedule your work on your Outlook calendar Turn off email and voice mail during larger projects Inform staff of when you can be seen for non-urgent matters Keep communication to the point without being rude etc Take 15mins at the end of the day to clear work area and make to-do list for following day (no more than 3-5 items) Let calls go to voice mail to reduce amount of conversation time Ensure your area is organized Use smart phone Close door for really important projects and communicate with staff why www.jott.com Digital voice recorder + Dragon Naturally Speaking Read/Listen to “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” – Steve Covey Keep a log for one week to show how you use your time Use Outlook for tasks to keep track of updates Break down into categories for work, personal, etc.
- Might be something to signal a break or activity exercise
- Workbook: Eulogy exercise
- Sometimes you have to know when to walk away from relationships as well. That is a choice and people will come and go out of your life I see a lot of miserable people in life because of the relationships they don’t have the balls to get out of or the confidence to say something about how they feel about how they are being treated.