Enviar pesquisa
Carregar
Marital mediation - a new application of mediation
•
2 gostaram
•
1,512 visualizações
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Seguir
Saúde e medicina
Negócios
Denunciar
Compartilhar
Denunciar
Compartilhar
1 de 40
Baixar agora
Baixar para ler offline
Recomendados
How is marital mediation different from marital counseling
How is marital mediation different from marital counseling
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Driving your spouse crazy - literally
Driving your spouse crazy - literally
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Mediation to Stay Married
Mediation to Stay Married
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Chapter 12 powerpoint
Chapter 12 powerpoint
Skyline College
Ppt speed
Ppt speed
ShivenderDahiya07
Data Analysis on Speed Dating
Data Analysis on Speed Dating
ShivenderDahiya07
Asking Rights
Asking Rights
4Good.org
MCJ158s MMC PPT
MCJ158s MMC PPT
Angel Ramirez
Recomendados
How is marital mediation different from marital counseling
How is marital mediation different from marital counseling
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Driving your spouse crazy - literally
Driving your spouse crazy - literally
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Mediation to Stay Married
Mediation to Stay Married
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Chapter 12 powerpoint
Chapter 12 powerpoint
Skyline College
Ppt speed
Ppt speed
ShivenderDahiya07
Data Analysis on Speed Dating
Data Analysis on Speed Dating
ShivenderDahiya07
Asking Rights
Asking Rights
4Good.org
MCJ158s MMC PPT
MCJ158s MMC PPT
Angel Ramirez
Pflag being an ally
Pflag being an ally
Daphneo
premarital counseling
premarital counseling
Rhonda Stepp
Banish "Problem Patron" from your vocabulary slides
Banish "Problem Patron" from your vocabulary slides
The Library Corporation (TLC)
Group 5 Homophobic Bullying PowerPoint
Group 5 Homophobic Bullying PowerPoint
opalshine
Ethics Course Powerpoint
Ethics Course Powerpoint
Lindsey Skinner
Advocacy Lessons from the Wizard of Oz - Policy Presentation at Prevent Child...
Advocacy Lessons from the Wizard of Oz - Policy Presentation at Prevent Child...
Jim McKay
What Really Caused the Housing Collapse of 2008
What Really Caused the Housing Collapse of 2008
Eric Kandell
Tailoring your communication style to better connect
Tailoring your communication style to better connect
Larry Melnick
Harassment Prevention: From the Illegal to the Currently Legal to the Percept...
Harassment Prevention: From the Illegal to the Currently Legal to the Percept...
BizLibrary
Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005
Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005
Eric Vanderburg
The perfect partner
The perfect partner
jdic2056
Unconventional Sales Andrea Howe - November 2013
Unconventional Sales Andrea Howe - November 2013
Andrea Lee
Building Business Relationships
Building Business Relationships
SV.CO
Mediation To Stay Married
Mediation To Stay Married
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Navigating Conflict in PE Using Strengths-Based Approaches
Navigating Conflict in PE Using Strengths-Based Approaches
CHICommunications
Authentic Voices in Advocacy
Authentic Voices in Advocacy
Foundation for Healthy Generations
Virtual report launch – Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefi...
Virtual report launch – Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefi...
ILC- UK
Family Values and Openness in Adoption: Confronting and Accepting Differences
Family Values and Openness in Adoption: Confronting and Accepting Differences
Building Family Counseling
Symposium
Symposium
Building Family Counseling
Carte aipcs counselling-dilemmas-ebook
Carte aipcs counselling-dilemmas-ebook
Mihalcea Liliana
Chapter 4 - Relationships
Chapter 4 - Relationships
materpelding
What Are My Divorce Options?
What Are My Divorce Options?
Alexandria Skinner
Mais conteúdo relacionado
Mais procurados
Pflag being an ally
Pflag being an ally
Daphneo
premarital counseling
premarital counseling
Rhonda Stepp
Banish "Problem Patron" from your vocabulary slides
Banish "Problem Patron" from your vocabulary slides
The Library Corporation (TLC)
Group 5 Homophobic Bullying PowerPoint
Group 5 Homophobic Bullying PowerPoint
opalshine
Ethics Course Powerpoint
Ethics Course Powerpoint
Lindsey Skinner
Advocacy Lessons from the Wizard of Oz - Policy Presentation at Prevent Child...
Advocacy Lessons from the Wizard of Oz - Policy Presentation at Prevent Child...
Jim McKay
What Really Caused the Housing Collapse of 2008
What Really Caused the Housing Collapse of 2008
Eric Kandell
Tailoring your communication style to better connect
Tailoring your communication style to better connect
Larry Melnick
Harassment Prevention: From the Illegal to the Currently Legal to the Percept...
Harassment Prevention: From the Illegal to the Currently Legal to the Percept...
BizLibrary
Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005
Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005
Eric Vanderburg
The perfect partner
The perfect partner
jdic2056
Unconventional Sales Andrea Howe - November 2013
Unconventional Sales Andrea Howe - November 2013
Andrea Lee
Building Business Relationships
Building Business Relationships
SV.CO
Mais procurados
(13)
Pflag being an ally
Pflag being an ally
premarital counseling
premarital counseling
Banish "Problem Patron" from your vocabulary slides
Banish "Problem Patron" from your vocabulary slides
Group 5 Homophobic Bullying PowerPoint
Group 5 Homophobic Bullying PowerPoint
Ethics Course Powerpoint
Ethics Course Powerpoint
Advocacy Lessons from the Wizard of Oz - Policy Presentation at Prevent Child...
Advocacy Lessons from the Wizard of Oz - Policy Presentation at Prevent Child...
What Really Caused the Housing Collapse of 2008
What Really Caused the Housing Collapse of 2008
Tailoring your communication style to better connect
Tailoring your communication style to better connect
Harassment Prevention: From the Illegal to the Currently Legal to the Percept...
Harassment Prevention: From the Illegal to the Currently Legal to the Percept...
Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005
Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005
The perfect partner
The perfect partner
Unconventional Sales Andrea Howe - November 2013
Unconventional Sales Andrea Howe - November 2013
Building Business Relationships
Building Business Relationships
Semelhante a Marital mediation - a new application of mediation
Mediation To Stay Married
Mediation To Stay Married
Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
Navigating Conflict in PE Using Strengths-Based Approaches
Navigating Conflict in PE Using Strengths-Based Approaches
CHICommunications
Authentic Voices in Advocacy
Authentic Voices in Advocacy
Foundation for Healthy Generations
Virtual report launch – Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefi...
Virtual report launch – Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefi...
ILC- UK
Family Values and Openness in Adoption: Confronting and Accepting Differences
Family Values and Openness in Adoption: Confronting and Accepting Differences
Building Family Counseling
Symposium
Symposium
Building Family Counseling
Carte aipcs counselling-dilemmas-ebook
Carte aipcs counselling-dilemmas-ebook
Mihalcea Liliana
Chapter 4 - Relationships
Chapter 4 - Relationships
materpelding
What Are My Divorce Options?
What Are My Divorce Options?
Alexandria Skinner
The Power of Nonverbal Communications 2015
The Power of Nonverbal Communications 2015
CMX
Intro to MBTI
Intro to MBTI
David Kaiser, Ph.D., P.C.C.
Xavier University - M4MH - 3.21.22 - Presentation (1).pdf
Xavier University - M4MH - 3.21.22 - Presentation (1).pdf
BethKillian
What Is Sexual Abuse Advocacy Counseling?
What Is Sexual Abuse Advocacy Counseling?
garmmovement
H&H powerpoint
H&H powerpoint
ChelseaRGray
Communication
Communication
R. RAVINDRA KUMAR CHIEF MENTOR
Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefits of financial advice
Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefits of financial advice
ILC- UK
Couples Counseling: the Empty Nest Years
Couples Counseling: the Empty Nest Years
Holly Scott
Psych 115 chapter 7
Psych 115 chapter 7
JeffreyVillanueva5
Discover your Power To Prevent Conflict
Discover your Power To Prevent Conflict
Lilja Bjarnadóttir
Intentional peer support as a resource to trauma and shame - Natalie Walker
Intentional peer support as a resource to trauma and shame - Natalie Walker
Natalie Walker
Semelhante a Marital mediation - a new application of mediation
(20)
Mediation To Stay Married
Mediation To Stay Married
Navigating Conflict in PE Using Strengths-Based Approaches
Navigating Conflict in PE Using Strengths-Based Approaches
Authentic Voices in Advocacy
Authentic Voices in Advocacy
Virtual report launch – Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefi...
Virtual report launch – Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefi...
Family Values and Openness in Adoption: Confronting and Accepting Differences
Family Values and Openness in Adoption: Confronting and Accepting Differences
Symposium
Symposium
Carte aipcs counselling-dilemmas-ebook
Carte aipcs counselling-dilemmas-ebook
Chapter 4 - Relationships
Chapter 4 - Relationships
What Are My Divorce Options?
What Are My Divorce Options?
The Power of Nonverbal Communications 2015
The Power of Nonverbal Communications 2015
Intro to MBTI
Intro to MBTI
Xavier University - M4MH - 3.21.22 - Presentation (1).pdf
Xavier University - M4MH - 3.21.22 - Presentation (1).pdf
What Is Sexual Abuse Advocacy Counseling?
What Is Sexual Abuse Advocacy Counseling?
H&H powerpoint
H&H powerpoint
Communication
Communication
Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefits of financial advice
Peace of mind: Understanding the non-financial benefits of financial advice
Couples Counseling: the Empty Nest Years
Couples Counseling: the Empty Nest Years
Psych 115 chapter 7
Psych 115 chapter 7
Discover your Power To Prevent Conflict
Discover your Power To Prevent Conflict
Intentional peer support as a resource to trauma and shame - Natalie Walker
Intentional peer support as a resource to trauma and shame - Natalie Walker
Último
Kolkata Call Girls Service ❤️🍑 9xx000xx09 👄🫦 Independent Escort Service Kolka...
Kolkata Call Girls Service ❤️🍑 9xx000xx09 👄🫦 Independent Escort Service Kolka...
Sheetaleventcompany
Premium Call Girls Dehradun {8854095900} ❤️VVIP ANJU Call Girls in Dehradun U...
Premium Call Girls Dehradun {8854095900} ❤️VVIP ANJU Call Girls in Dehradun U...
Sheetaleventcompany
Cheap Rate Call Girls Bangalore {9179660964} ❤️VVIP BEBO Call Girls in Bangal...
Cheap Rate Call Girls Bangalore {9179660964} ❤️VVIP BEBO Call Girls in Bangal...
Sheetaleventcompany
Kolkata Call Girls Naktala 💯Call Us 🔝 8005736733 🔝 💃 Top Class Call Girl Se...
Kolkata Call Girls Naktala 💯Call Us 🔝 8005736733 🔝 💃 Top Class Call Girl Se...
Namrata Singh
Call Girls Mussoorie Just Call 8854095900 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Call Girls Mussoorie Just Call 8854095900 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Janvi Singh
ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY OF REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM.pptx
ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY OF REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM.pptx
Swetaba Besh
Chennai ❣️ Call Girl 6378878445 Call Girls in Chennai Escort service book now
Chennai ❣️ Call Girl 6378878445 Call Girls in Chennai Escort service book now
tanudubay92
Chandigarh Call Girls Service ❤️🍑 9809698092 👄🫦Independent Escort Service Cha...
Chandigarh Call Girls Service ❤️🍑 9809698092 👄🫦Independent Escort Service Cha...
Sheetaleventcompany
💚Call Girls In Amritsar 💯Anvi 📲🔝8725944379🔝Amritsar Call Girl No💰Advance Cash...
💚Call Girls In Amritsar 💯Anvi 📲🔝8725944379🔝Amritsar Call Girl No💰Advance Cash...
Sheetaleventcompany
Call Girls Kathua Just Call 8250077686 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Call Girls Kathua Just Call 8250077686 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Dipal Arora
Circulatory Shock, types and stages, compensatory mechanisms
Circulatory Shock, types and stages, compensatory mechanisms
MedicoseAcademics
Cara Menggugurkan Kandungan Dengan Cepat Selesai Dalam 24 Jam Secara Alami Bu...
Cara Menggugurkan Kandungan Dengan Cepat Selesai Dalam 24 Jam Secara Alami Bu...
Cara Menggugurkan Kandungan 087776558899
Call Girls Bangalore - 450+ Call Girl Cash Payment 💯Call Us 🔝 6378878445 🔝 💃 ...
Call Girls Bangalore - 450+ Call Girl Cash Payment 💯Call Us 🔝 6378878445 🔝 💃 ...
gragneelam30
Call Girls Shahdol Just Call 8250077686 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Call Girls Shahdol Just Call 8250077686 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Dipal Arora
Call Girl In Indore 📞9235973566📞 Just📲 Call Inaaya Indore Call Girls Service ...
Call Girl In Indore 📞9235973566📞 Just📲 Call Inaaya Indore Call Girls Service ...
Sheetaleventcompany
Independent Bangalore Call Girls (Adult Only) 💯Call Us 🔝 7304373326 🔝 💃 Escor...
Independent Bangalore Call Girls (Adult Only) 💯Call Us 🔝 7304373326 🔝 💃 Escor...
Sheetaleventcompany
Race Course Road } Book Call Girls in Bangalore | Whatsapp No 6378878445 VIP ...
Race Course Road } Book Call Girls in Bangalore | Whatsapp No 6378878445 VIP ...
dishamehta3332
❤️Amritsar Escorts Service☎️9815674956☎️ Call Girl service in Amritsar☎️ Amri...
❤️Amritsar Escorts Service☎️9815674956☎️ Call Girl service in Amritsar☎️ Amri...
Sheetaleventcompany
Premium Call Girls Nagpur {9xx000xx09} ❤️VVIP POOJA Call Girls in Nagpur Maha...
Premium Call Girls Nagpur {9xx000xx09} ❤️VVIP POOJA Call Girls in Nagpur Maha...
Sheetaleventcompany
Call girls Service Phullen / 9332606886 Genuine Call girls with real Photos a...
Call girls Service Phullen / 9332606886 Genuine Call girls with real Photos a...
call girls hydrabad
Último
(20)
Kolkata Call Girls Service ❤️🍑 9xx000xx09 👄🫦 Independent Escort Service Kolka...
Kolkata Call Girls Service ❤️🍑 9xx000xx09 👄🫦 Independent Escort Service Kolka...
Premium Call Girls Dehradun {8854095900} ❤️VVIP ANJU Call Girls in Dehradun U...
Premium Call Girls Dehradun {8854095900} ❤️VVIP ANJU Call Girls in Dehradun U...
Cheap Rate Call Girls Bangalore {9179660964} ❤️VVIP BEBO Call Girls in Bangal...
Cheap Rate Call Girls Bangalore {9179660964} ❤️VVIP BEBO Call Girls in Bangal...
Kolkata Call Girls Naktala 💯Call Us 🔝 8005736733 🔝 💃 Top Class Call Girl Se...
Kolkata Call Girls Naktala 💯Call Us 🔝 8005736733 🔝 💃 Top Class Call Girl Se...
Call Girls Mussoorie Just Call 8854095900 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Call Girls Mussoorie Just Call 8854095900 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY OF REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM.pptx
ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY OF REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM.pptx
Chennai ❣️ Call Girl 6378878445 Call Girls in Chennai Escort service book now
Chennai ❣️ Call Girl 6378878445 Call Girls in Chennai Escort service book now
Chandigarh Call Girls Service ❤️🍑 9809698092 👄🫦Independent Escort Service Cha...
Chandigarh Call Girls Service ❤️🍑 9809698092 👄🫦Independent Escort Service Cha...
💚Call Girls In Amritsar 💯Anvi 📲🔝8725944379🔝Amritsar Call Girl No💰Advance Cash...
💚Call Girls In Amritsar 💯Anvi 📲🔝8725944379🔝Amritsar Call Girl No💰Advance Cash...
Call Girls Kathua Just Call 8250077686 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Call Girls Kathua Just Call 8250077686 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Circulatory Shock, types and stages, compensatory mechanisms
Circulatory Shock, types and stages, compensatory mechanisms
Cara Menggugurkan Kandungan Dengan Cepat Selesai Dalam 24 Jam Secara Alami Bu...
Cara Menggugurkan Kandungan Dengan Cepat Selesai Dalam 24 Jam Secara Alami Bu...
Call Girls Bangalore - 450+ Call Girl Cash Payment 💯Call Us 🔝 6378878445 🔝 💃 ...
Call Girls Bangalore - 450+ Call Girl Cash Payment 💯Call Us 🔝 6378878445 🔝 💃 ...
Call Girls Shahdol Just Call 8250077686 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Call Girls Shahdol Just Call 8250077686 Top Class Call Girl Service Available
Call Girl In Indore 📞9235973566📞 Just📲 Call Inaaya Indore Call Girls Service ...
Call Girl In Indore 📞9235973566📞 Just📲 Call Inaaya Indore Call Girls Service ...
Independent Bangalore Call Girls (Adult Only) 💯Call Us 🔝 7304373326 🔝 💃 Escor...
Independent Bangalore Call Girls (Adult Only) 💯Call Us 🔝 7304373326 🔝 💃 Escor...
Race Course Road } Book Call Girls in Bangalore | Whatsapp No 6378878445 VIP ...
Race Course Road } Book Call Girls in Bangalore | Whatsapp No 6378878445 VIP ...
❤️Amritsar Escorts Service☎️9815674956☎️ Call Girl service in Amritsar☎️ Amri...
❤️Amritsar Escorts Service☎️9815674956☎️ Call Girl service in Amritsar☎️ Amri...
Premium Call Girls Nagpur {9xx000xx09} ❤️VVIP POOJA Call Girls in Nagpur Maha...
Premium Call Girls Nagpur {9xx000xx09} ❤️VVIP POOJA Call Girls in Nagpur Maha...
Call girls Service Phullen / 9332606886 Genuine Call girls with real Photos a...
Call girls Service Phullen / 9332606886 Genuine Call girls with real Photos a...
Marital mediation - a new application of mediation
1.
© Copyright 2011
- 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com Marital Mediation A New Application of Mediation
2.
How I Got
Started © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com • Divorce lawyer experiences • Collaborative Divorce • Checking to see if marriage is over • Do divorce lawyers promote divorce? • Throw-away marriages • Fixable problems • Reverse engineer the divorce • Why do people divorce after marriage counseling?
3.
What is Marital
Mediation? • What’s in the name? • Mediation to Stay Married? • Marital Mediation? • Couples Mediation? • Committed Couples Mediation? • Do people know any of the terms? • If people don’t know about it, then how can they find it? • People in divorce mediation comment that it might have worked for them to preserve their marriage. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
4.
What is Marital
Mediation? • How can we help get the word out to the public ? © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
5.
Why People Want
to Keep Their Marriages • Their problems travel with them into their subsequent marriages • Why should love turn into hate? • Life-long marriages are very special • Serial marriages are destabilizing • Financial instability is detrimental • People feel good about surmounting problems • Couples benefit and their relationship grows stronger by surmounting problems together. Overcoming obstacles burnish a marriage. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
6.
What is Marriage? •
A set of personal and family relationships • A story, a history • Financial sharing • Disagreements • Conflict • Moral support • Sharing • Overcoming difficulties • Remembering and experiencing good times. • Remembering and sharing bad times. • Being each other’s “protector” or “protectress”. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
7.
• Why marriage
is important • Why marriage deserves your attention • Do you treat your spouse better than you treat anyone else? • Foster and encourage your spouse’s dreams and goals • If possible, try to understand your spouse’s interests or at least respect them © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com Is Marriage Important?
8.
The “Bee in
the Bonnet” Syndrome • People unhappy in their marriages don’t know where to turn • They become obsessed with thoughts of divorce • The thoughts become a self-fulfilling prophecy • Positive psychology as a tool • The Relationship Handbook, by George Pransky. • Dissatisfaction is a mental illness. • Moods are temporary. • Wait tell your partner is in a no longer in a negative frame of mind. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
9.
Taking the War
Out of Our Words • Seminal work by Sharon Strand Ellison • Asking “disarming” questions • The innocent question • Our assumptions interfere • Open, neutral questions • Open-ended, inviting • Gathering information • Any information is important © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
10.
Mind Games • Distorted
thinking • We should never have conflict • My spouse should meet all of my needs • Getting into mental ruts • Getting into behavioral ruts • “ I can change my spouse” • Monkey mind • Banana wars © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
11.
Corrosive Events &
Circumstances • Existence of a Prenuptial Agreement • Lack of a Prenuptial Agreement • Illness of a child • Behavioral issues of a child • Illness of spouse • Death of spouse’s parents • Loss of money or job © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
12.
We Thought We
Were So Compatible… • Differences in spending • Different interests and hobbies • Different concept of vacations • Differences in how you wish to spend free time • Differences in religion/spirituality • Differences in child rearing methods © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
13.
• Mediation is
conflict resolution • Gives a couple a skill set to use • Models good behavior for couple • Neutral third-party, honest reaction to couple’s interchanges © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com How Mediation Can Help a Marriage
14.
What is the
Difference Between Marital Mediation and Marital Counseling • The first question I am always asked • Deductive reasoning – it is not therapy (but can be therapeutic) • A mediator doesn’t “counsel” or give advice • However there may be some overlap • Mediation tends to be more focused on addressing concrete conflicts • Tends to be less “deep” than therapy or marital counseling which can be good • Develop practical solutions • Helps couple move forward in their marriage • They can solve deeper problems later • Couple may find that deeper problems actually disappear © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
15.
What is the
Difference Between Marital Mediation and Marital Counseling/Therapy • Therapists expand psychological exploration. • Therapists look at pressing internal or intra psychic issues. • Therapists look at emotional needs and emotional behaviors. • Therapists expand psychological exploration. • Therapists analyze the relationship between an individual’s emotional needs and the quality of his or her relationship. • Therapists explore family history and personal history. • Therapists look to explore longstanding personality or relationship problems. • Therapists use extensive case history. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
16.
Marital Mediation Uses
Mediator’s Toolbox • Use of standard mediation techniques • “Traditional” mediation or “transformative mediation • Helps couple generate options (brainstorming) • Helps couple generate and evaluate solutions • Looks at underlying interests • Identifies positional interests, and find underlying interests • Identifies miscommunications, which are surprisingly common © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
17.
Marital Mediation Uses
Mediator’s Toolbox • A mediator helps couple generate and evaluate solutions • Mediator’s knowledge base (especially as a divorce mediator) provides good background for helping a couple solve financial issues, which are so prevalent in marital disputes. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
18.
Useful Mediation Techniques
in Mediation to Stay Married • Active Listening • Mirroring • Reframing • Recasting • Re-emphasizing • Brainstorming • Evaluating proposed solutions © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
19.
Useful Mediation Techniques
in Mediation to Stay Married • Communication analysis • Powerful Non-defensive Communication • Identifying, Testing and Understanding Assumptions • Elevating the positive • Clearing up miscommunications • Overt and covert messages • Validating both parties © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
20.
A Mediator is
. . . Neutral Honest This is very important But can you be always truthful to the clients? © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
21.
A Marital Mediator
can Work with a Couple on Listening and Speaking Skills • Have people take turns • Have people talk without coming to solutions • Let it go on until a person is finished • Squeeze it dry • Don’t rush © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
22.
A Mediator .
. . • A mediator works with couple on listening skills • A mediator works with couple on speaking skills • Lets couple talk without coming to a solution, but guides into productive areas • Monitors reaction, clarifies reactions for couple • Work on identifying and limiting “hot speech” • Work on improving clients’ skills in analysis/ deconstructing / unpacking © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
23.
A Marital Mediator
. . . • Is a marital mediator different from any other mediator? • Is marital mediation different from other types of mediation? © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
24.
Deconstructing Marital Arguments •
Mediator as river coach • Mediator as referee • Mediator as process analyst • Have the couple talk for 20 minutes, take notes • Possibilities: Video session, Tape session • Divorce Tourism – go on a trip with a struggling couple © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
25.
Marital Mediator as
“Witness” • What is a “witness”? • Definition – to see the execution of, as in an instrument, and subscribe it for the purpose of authenticity. • Attesting of a fact, statement, evidence. • Yes, I see it and understand. • (The other spouse is not understanding.) • Validation. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
26.
Marital Mediator as
“Witness” • Clients are able to speak about difficult issues better in front of third party • Third party is not a friend, relative • Third party mediator is trained as a neutral • Third party is trained to identify conflict, and find underlying interests, concerns © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
27.
• What if
the spouses have “classic” roles? • What if the roles are switched? • Unemployed husbands • Stress of two-worker family • Belief that a spouse should be employed • Difference between legally-married and cohabitating • Different cultural expectations & values in same-sex relationships © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com Gender & Same-Sex Issues
28.
“Contribution” to Marriage •
What is contribution? • Why is contribution important? • Differing perceptions of contribution • Probably the biggest problem in marriage © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
29.
Children Create Problems •
Sharing the chores • Different parenting styles • Close relationship with child cuts out the spouse • Children play into it © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
30.
What Issues can
be Dealt With • Communication • Bickering • Understanding each other’s views • Financial behavior • Perception of other party’s contributions • Driving disputes • Children • In-laws • Time • Sex (?) © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
31.
Use of a
Divorce Mediator • Divorce mediators can give information on divorce law • This can clear up and clarify many misconceptions • With knowledge, people can plan better • What happens if they stay together • What happens if they divorce • What are their concerns? Can any be addressed? • Divorce mediators are experts in financial issues © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
32.
What divorce mediators
can do for your marriage? • Divorce mediators are good for financial issues • Divorce mediators are sensitive to marriages and their problems • This is not about therapy, but about behavior • They are mediators skilled in helping people coordinate needs • They are dispute resolution specialists • They are not therapists -- could be a good thing sometimes • Their knowledge of divorce law helpful for clients at the brink • Divorce mediator can identify behaviors and interactions which lead to divorce • I call that “reverse engineering”. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
33.
Should Marital Mediation
Result in a Written Agreement • Are post-nuptial agreements enforceable? • Does that matter? • Difference between prenuptial, postnuptial agreements and separation agreements. • Written Memorandum of Understanding • Unwritten agreement • What happens when reviewing attorneys be involved? • Marital mediation as transformative © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
34.
Marital Mediators work
with other marriage-helping professionals. • Use of concurrent marital counseling • Use of concurrent individual therapy • Referring to marriage counselors and individual therapists • Financial Planners • Tax specialists • Estate planners • Real estate specialists • Insurance specialists © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
35.
When is the
right time to see a Marital Mediator? • Not progressing in arguments • Arguments giving recurrent thoughts of divorce • Marital counseling “not helping” • Spouse doesn’t want to see a “therapist” © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
36.
Other Resources Available •
Marital counseling • Individual therapy • Workshops • Books on marriage • Internet materials on marriage • CDs & DVDs on marriage • Joint consultation with divorce lawyer • Joint consultation with estate planner • © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
37.
How to start
and market your Marital Mediation practice • Add it to your website • Add it as a practice area to websites where you are listed • Write articles and put them on your site • Add other peoples’ articles to your websites • Facebook page for your business • Twitter, Linked-In for your business © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
38.
How to start
and market your Marital Mediation practice • Respond to others’ articles (e.g., on blog sites, Huffington Post, etc.) • Use Google alerts. • Search terms: “postnuptial agreements”, “marital mediation”, “mediation to stay married” • Talk about it in the mediation groups you belong to • Talk about it to clients, even though who do not come for divorce • Work on your elevator talk • Give presentations to the public, use PowerPoints • Refer to other marital mediators in other states or geographical areas. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
39.
The two “Elevator
Talks” • What do you do? • I’m a marital mediator. • What’s that? And the follow up question: • How is a marital mediator different from a marital counselor or marital therapist? © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
40.
About the Presenter Laurie
Israel is a lawyer and mediator practicing in Brookline, Massachusetts. Her many years of divorce law and divorce mediation practice led her to work with clients who wished to preserve their marriages. She is a frequent presenter on the topic of marital mediation at professional conferences in Massachusetts and elsewhere in the U.S.A. Laurie is a member of the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation (MCFM) and the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council (MassCLC) and is a former board member of both organizations. Her writings appear on her websites and in www.mediate.com and other internet sites. She is currently a writer (blogger) with The Huffington Post www.huffingtonpost.com , writing about marriage, divorce, mediation, relationships and prenuptial agreements. © Copyright 2011 - 2015 Laurie Israel / www.maritalmediation.com / www. ivkdlaw.com
Baixar agora