3. Self-Disclosure:
Affectively or Instrumentally Oriented
Communication
Women- Affective
• intimate, emotional, caring and
communal (Watson 2012)
• They are told to value
interconnectedness and nurturance.
(Felmlee, Sweet and Sinclair 2012)
• “Women are rated more highly than
men on communal attributes such as
emotional expressiveness, nurturance,
interpersonal sensitivity, kindness, and
responsiveness” (Ridgeway 2011:58)
• Communication through
communication
Men- Instrumental
• Men are portrayed as less emotional
and more agentic.
• They are taught to be more competitive,
independent and aggressive (Felmlee,
Sweet and Sinclair 2012)
• “Men are rated more highly than
women on agentic qualities such as
instrumental competence,
assertiveness, confidence,
independence, forcefulness, and
dominance” (Ridgeway 2011:58).
• Communication through activities
4. “In that sense, they are
descriptive in nature,
providing a thumbnail
sketch of what people
take to be the way men
and women behave on
average. But as the rules
of the gender game,
gender stereotypes have
a prescriptive quality as
well” (Ridgeway
2011:58).
Gender differences in the
Functions of Same-Sex
Friendships
Females:
- Function: maintaining and building social networks
- High value on relations with others
- Higher expectations on same-sex friends placed with
regards to intimacy, mutual activities and loyalty
- Engagement = communal
Males:
- Function: way to promote individuality, status,
and reputation (Watson 2012)
- Describe themselves more in terms of
independence
- Engagement=activities
5. Are men’s and women’s same-sex
friendships polar opposites?
6.
7. How do they
appear to be
so different?
-Gender as
something we
do
• “differences in gender role socialization
produce stable differences in how
gossip is used in the context of
friendship” (Watson 2012:495).
• Males
– Gossip: act of business & individuality
– Individualistic
• Females
– Gossip: build social networks &
intrasexual competition
Gender Differences in gossip
tendencies and self-
disclosure
Self-disclosure
(interesting data regarding men)- Bowman (2008)
- They do self-disclose! Just less about negative
information when they identify themselves more
with a masculine gender orientation
- Also..
8. CAN MEN AND WOMEN
BE FRIENDS?
The answer is yes, but once again with
complexities!
11. { Challenges }
Three main
challenges:
1. Emotional Bond
2. Public
Presentation
3. Sexual
challenge
Emotional Bond:
- Frequent contact
- Disclosure of past
relationships
Public Presentation:
- Maintaining a
balance of partaking
in public and private
activites
Sexual Challenge:
(O’meara)
- Have to successfully
develop a definition
of the type of love
they experience
- 1. Friendship
- 2. platonic love
- 3. Friendship
love
- 4. Physical love
- 5. Romantic love
12. For MEN: For WOMEN:
- Men in this relationship
receive more social support and
emotional gratification than
they do in their same-sex
friendships
- Freer to express more
feminine qualities
- Easier to be more competitive
- Provided an “objective perspective”
that same-sex friendships couldn’t
provide
Friendships for both men and women have a variety of complexities
Gender plays an influential role in both shaping the norms and stereotypes of friendships, but also in the reality of actual friendship behaviors.
Society, through the mechanism of ideal gender scripts, has constructed how men and women’s same-sex friendships are characterized.
First we will look at self-disclosure.
In Holmstrom article each gender was identified as either affectively oriented or instrumentally oriented communication skills.
Women are portrayed by society as… (slide)
And men are portrayed as… (slide)
-Next slide- “In that sense…”
In other words, they have been shaped to the gender scripts of this culture
Through social interactions, “men and women most often observe one another in the kind of interaction that causes men to appear not only higher status and competent but also more assertive, independent, and agentic, while women appear not only lower status, but also more communal and interpersonally sensitive” (Ridgeway)
Therefore, females same-sex friendships appear to function as more …(slide) and men’s friendships function
- Ultimately, what we see is shaped by what we expect to see, which in this case appears to reflect reality, but….
Both men and women have similar expectations of trust, integrity, listening attentively, comfort and discolsure
There was a positive correlation between the men’s self reported amount of disclosure and masculine gender role orientation, as well as feminine gender role orientation
Men appear to be as open as women on non-intimate topics such as hobbies and favorite sports” (Caldweel and Peplau)
In all, both men and women share common expectations and interests for their friendships; however, due to ideal gender scripts of communal or agentic relationships, these stereotypes shape the actual behaviors within the context of same-sex friendships.
Now, given this understanding of same-sex friendships I wanted to understand how gender shaped cross-sex friendships. Because, I kept thinking…(next slide)
The answer is ….(Click for yes.)
In a similar manner, cross-sex friendships are also shaped by gender. For same-sex friendships gender scripts are present for each gender, but not so much for cross-sex friendships.
One of the first things that Felmlee, Sweet, and Sinclair (2012) describe is how the cultural expectations for cross-sex friendships are vague, because they lack cultural scripts to guide social interaction.
Looking at society, media images have created cultural scripts that define cross-sex friendships as romanticized. It has created a challenge for cross-sex friendships to just be friends.
(next slide for video)
Even though men and women in cross-sex friendships aren’t given gender scripts, society still shapes these relationships through the stereotypes of cross-sex friendships being romanticized.
Cross-sex friends faced with regulating… emotional bond, public presentation, sexual challenge
Click-emotional
Click-public
Click- sexual
Despite these challenges, this lack of cultural gender norms actually allows each gender to bend gender stereotypes
Both men and women are faced with various challenges which make this friendship complex. Yet, women and men’s beliefs seem to be positive about cross-sex friendships. These relationships allow them to cross gender boundaries.
Once more, ideal gender scripts provide somewhat of a mold for cross-sex friendships. Given the social expectations for these types of relationships, each gender is constrained to act a certain way. This notion is similar manner to same-sex friendships, in that females are expected to behave more communal and males more agentic. On the contrary though, this type of friendship allows each gender to behave less like their stereotyped behaviors.
Given the role of gender in both cross and same sex-friendships, there are a variety of complexities. Both males and females are given gender scripts that influence their actions within these relationships. Under such circumstances of stereotypes and norms, gender plays a primary role in the perplexity of friendship.
