Through the decades the adoptee community is both diverse as it is a powerful place to gather, learn, and support one another. You are a part of the next generation of adoptee leadership! This final installment to this three part series. We will explore what qualities make an influential leader within our community and beyond. We will also examine important factors to consider when you mentor younger adoptees. This final webinar will put what you have learned together.

1. 12/2/2018
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We are a People
Melanie Chung-Sherman, LCSW-S, LCPAA, PLLC
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Objectives
Gain Gain new insights when engaging younger
adoptees
Define Define characteristics of leadership
Highlight Highlight some current issues impacting the
Korean Adoptee Community
Explore Explore history of Korean Adoptee
Leadership & Importance of Mirrors/Mentors
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Disclaimer
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▪ This will focus specifically on the Korean adoptee community.
▪ We have so many incredible leaders and organizations within our community
and around the world, unfortunately I cannot name them all, but I am thankful
for each of them.
▪ There will be some issues that we will address within our community that,
due to time, I have had to truncate/shorten, but each is equally important. I
will leave a list of websites/resources at the end of the workshop.
▪ Thank you for your time, inquiries, and passion.
▪ Thank you for your heart to lead and guide the next generation of adoptees.
You are doing incredible work!

2. 12/2/2018
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Understanding our
History
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Never Forget Who Your People Are
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▪ Honor those before.
▪ Honor those during.
▪ Honor those after.
▪ Honor the supporters.
▪ Honor the naysayers.
▪ Honor yourself.
▪ Honor the process.
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KADs are a People
Scholars Social Workers Engineers Attorneys Medical Doctors
Teachers Researchers Activists Nurses Artists
Athletes Actors Film makers Therapists Journalists
Parents Grandparents Spouses/Partners

3. 12/2/2018
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Our History: 1955 - Todayhttp://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20151103001182
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Korean Adoptions
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▪ Harry Holt circa 1955
▪ 1950s-1960s: Racial diaspora and extraction of
biracial Korean children (by 1960s monoracial
Korean adoptees placed)
▪ 1970s – 1980s: known as “Cadillac” adoption
process by PAPs and Aps (height of placement)
▪ 1990s: decrease in placements, Korean
adoptees visiting Korea, rise in male placements
▪ 2000s: increase of special needs placements
▪ 2012: Korean adoptees influence/changefederal
child placing policies
▪ Estimated 177,000 Korean adoptees placed
around the world
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Chung, Chae Hee
C-1942
Circa 1977
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We Come
from People:
Our History in
Leadership
▪ 1996: Also-Known-As, Inc (AKA) founded by KADs for KADs
▪ 1998: GOAL established in S. Korea by adoptees (Global
Overseas Adoptees’ Link)
▪ 1999: First Gathering of Korean Adoptees (Washington, D.C.)
▪ 2004: IKAA established in Europe and later in the U.S.
(International Korean AdopteeAssociation)
▪ 2011: Connect-A-Kid
▪ 2015: 325KAMRAestablished by Korean adoptees to distribute
and connect KADs and first families
▪ 2015: Adoptee Rights Campaign established by international
adoptees and allies
▪ 2017: I AM Adoptee established by Korean adoptees
▪ Numerous adoptee blogs, websites, films, galleries, and online
and in-person support groups
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The Gathering
1999
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First Gathering of Korean Adoptees
Washington D.C., Sept. 10-12, 1999
▪ Korean adoptees born between 1952-1978
▪ 400+ in attendance
▪ Korean adoptees from 30 states and across Europe
▪ First international gathering of Korean adoptees
▪ Reinforced and inspired growing activism, research, policy, and
practice changes within international adoption

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Influential Adoptee Works
(There are so many—this list is not exhaustive, but a start)
Cultural Reclamation of Our History and Experiences
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First Person Plural (2000)
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Adopted
(2008)

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“Approved for
Adoption”
(2013)
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“AKA Dan”
(2014)
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Side by Side
(2018)

7. 12/2/2018
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Adoption Museum Project (2011-current)
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Korean Adoption History by Korean
Adoptees
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Seminal Books by Korean Adoptees (1997-2003)
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8. 12/2/2018
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Korean Adoptee Works 2003-2018
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Clinical Work
Exploring
Teenhood (2017)
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Connect-A-Kid Mentorship
▪ You being here is already
a sign that you want to
make a positive change!
▪ Your voice, perspective,
and insight is so valuable.
▪ What interestedyou in
becoming a mentor?
▪ What do you wish you had
when you were growing up
as an adoptee?
▪ What are your strengths
and limitations?

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Let’s Talk About
Some Issues
Impacting our
Community
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Unique Issues Impacting our Community
▪ Suicide Attempts and Death
▪ Adoptee Citizenship Act (Adoptees Rights Campaign)
https://adopteerightscampaign.org/aca/
▪ Racism and Microaggressions
▪ Bullying
▪ Interracial Dating, Partnership, & Marriage
▪ Dissolution and Rehoming
▪ Mental Health Issues
▪ Gaining access to birth records and information
▪ Returning to Birth Country
▪ DNA databases for KADs
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Adoptee
Citizenship
Act

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DNA and Birth Information
▪ KAMRA323
▪ Advent of locating biological relatives
▪ Closed adoption no longer exists as it had before
▪ Most require 13 years old +
▪ Adoptees deserve access to informed consent
▪ Consider how information is used—what are costs and benefits?
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Laws and Policies that Protect Kids/Teens:
Bullying
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Higher Risk for Sexual
Harassment and Assault
▪ Female adoptees of
color
▪ LGBTQIA adoptees,
particularly TRAs
▪ Young adoptees
coming of age
▪ High school adoptees
afraid of upsetting or
fearing rejection
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Suicide and the Adoption Community
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Suicide
Warning Signs
(American
Psychological
Association,
2017)
▪ Talks about committing suicide
▪ Has trouble eating or sleeping
▪ Exhibits drastic changes in behavior
▪ Withdrawsfrom friends or social activities
▪ Loses interest in school, work or hobbies
▪ Prepares for death by writing a will and making final arrangements
▪ Gives away prized possessions
▪ Has attempted suicide before or has family member who has
▪ Has recently experienced serious losses
▪ Seems preoccupied with death and dying
▪ Loses interest in his or her personal appearance
▪ Increases alcohol or drug use.
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Unique
Issues for
Adoptees
Perfectionism
Fear of abandonment and rejection from peers/loved
ones
Undiagnosed mental health challenges
Mistrust of others (may not share openly)
Living with Disabilities (invisible and visible)
Isolation from racial mirrors & mentors (constant
bullying/ostracism)
LGBTQIA (potential fear of rejection from adopt family,
community, birth culture, and adoptees)
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When to get help…
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▪ Talk of hurting self or others (no
matter how innocent it appears)
▪ Anytime a plan is mentioned
▪ Discussion that they are afraid to
go to certain activities,
environments
▪ Sharing about any abuse or neglect
by any one
▪ When your “gut” just says
something is off –it usually is.

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What to do if someone is suicidal?
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▪ Don’t be afraid to ask if they are thinking of hurting/killing
themselves.
▪ Take it very seriously. It is a sign of depression, not a bid for
attention.
▪ Just because a child is young does not meant that he or
she is not capable of harming themselves.
▪ Tell them that you believe them and want to help them.
▪ Let them know that you will need to inform others about any
suicidal or abusive behavior.
▪ Have a list of trusted people you can call immediately if you
or your mentee is in crisis. Do not wait.
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Pandora’s Box
▪ Where do you hurt the most?
▪ How can I help?
▪ What keeps you safe?
▪ One connection can change a life.
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Suicide
Awareness &
Education
Who are the licensed professionals in your area?
What referral sources do you know of?

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Leadership and Mentoring
It is critical for transracial adoptees to have on-going exposure to racial mirrors and mentors—particularlyother TRAs.
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What Characteristics
Make a Quality Leader?
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▪ Desire to Be
Emotionally Present
▪ Listening
▪ Follow-Through
▪ Confidence
▪ Curiosity/Flexibility
▪ Empathy
▪ Accountability
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What are the unique qualities of adoptee
leadership?
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▪ Lived Experience
▪ Shared Experience
▪ Racial mirrors/mentors
▪ Modeling leadership
▪ Healthy Boundaries
▪ Internal awareness of
specific issues

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What are the
challenges?
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▪ Assumptions that we already know what
an issue is
▪ Unchecked bias
▪ Not confronting our own adoption-related
needs
▪ Trying to fix what was not fixed for
ourselves
▪ Overcompensating/Undercompensating
▪ Lack of mental health training
▪ Time and resources
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Assumptions
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▪ Believing something is
true without proof or
verification
▪ How have assumptions
about your life, adoption,
race, or abilities affect
you?
▪ Why would this be an
issue when you are
mentoring?
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When to Seek
Professional Guidance
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▪ Suicidal Thoughts or Feelings
▪ Child Abuse, Neglect, or Exploitation
▪ Domestic Violence (including
harassment at school/home/community)
▪ Substance abuse
▪ Self-harming behaviors (cutting,
mutilating, hitting)
▪ Running away/truancy
▪ Depression, anxiety, or other possible
mental health issues
▪ Personal feelings of overwhelm, too
involved with a case

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Things to Consider
▪ Ensure your mentee understands what you can and cannot do.
▪ If you are not licensed, you should not be providing specific
services such as counseling or intervention. It is important to
check state/local/federal guidelines.
▪ Do not promise what you cannot deliver.
▪ Mentors are in a place of power. Be mindful.
▪ Counseling for yourself, if needed.
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No-Nos
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▪ Sexually inappropriate behavior/communication of
any kind
▪ Sharing mentee’s private/confidential information
(including posting on social media, verbally, etc.)
▪ Not reporting possible child abuse/neglect concerns
to authorities
▪ Not seeking consult and assistance if there is a
suicidal outcry/attempt
▪ You cannot diagnose or treat mental or physical
health issues. Even if you are a licensed
professional, you must ensure you adhere to your
role as a CAK mentor and licensing body.

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Creating Safe
Spaces
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▪ Trust-based
▪ Takes time and patience
▪ You don’t have to have all
the answers.
▪ Showing up is everything.
▪ Freedom to share what
mentees may be too afraid
to share with others openly.
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Self Care is Self
Compassion
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▪ How do you take care of your
needs?
▪ Who is your support system?
▪ What fills you up?
▪ What are your favorite hobbies?
Activities that have nothing to do
with adoption?
▪ Self compassion is essential.
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Reclaiming
Self
Changing/integrating birth name into legal name
Re-identifying and associating with adoptee
culture/community
Living, studying, or visiting birth country
Engaging and creating new friendships and social
circles outside predominantly white enclaves
Educating oneself about the systemic impacts of
racism/oppression
“Pulling away”/interdependent from adoptive family
in search for integrated identity

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Social Justice Commitment
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▪ How will you commit to
individual and community-based
acts of social justice?
▪ What books, blogs, podcasts,
and resources will help you with
this process?
▪ What have you tried already?
▪ What would you be willing to
consider?
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Thank you for
your time!
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This has been dedicated to those
who have come before…and to
those who will follow.
Remember where we have come
and the work we have yet to
accomplish—individually,
collaboratively, and with the help
of allies.
This cannot be done alone.

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Resources
▪ Connect-A-Kid, Inc: http://connectakid.org/
▪ Also-Known-As, Inc: https://www.alsoknownas.org/
▪ I AM Adoptee: https://www.facebook.com/IAMAdopteeOrg/
▪ KAS (Korean Adoption Services):
https://www.kadoption.or.kr/en/board/board_list.jsp?bcode=42_2
▪ 325Kamra: https://www.325kamra.org/ (DNA database for KADs)
▪ KAAN: https://www.wearekaan.org/about-kaan
▪ GOAL: https://www.goal.or.kr/
▪ IKAA: https://ikaa.org/about/
▪ Adoption Museum Project: http://adoptionmuseumproject.org/
▪ Side by Side Documentary: http://sidebysideproject.com/