1. Dear Team Members of TMS,
Thanks very much for so faithfully sending me the TMS which I look forward
God Bless You abundantly!
Thank you very much for sending me regular copy of The Mustard Seed.
It very good and wavering to the communities.
One of the greatest lessons in life is to let go. There comes a time when old has to
make place for the new. For newer ideas, new directions and new implementation.
The time has come for me to handover this precious gift called TMS to the new
editor Raadhika Dosa D’Cruz. With this our beloved TMS comes a full circle. It
comes home to roost, back to where it all began. St. Patrick’s Town. This journal
is a community paper for and by the community. It needs to be brought out
prayerfully. It is something the community puts together. In the last four years
TMS was put together in a corporate atmosphere. The team who worked on it,
did it with a prayer in their hearts and in a spirit of service.
I am ever thankful to Him for providing all the resources: monetary, people and
time for getting out the issue in time. It has been a great blessing for me.
I have had many trials and tribulations in the last four years and many, many
blessings too. I co-authored a book last year. I really think it was God’s gift to
me as the editor of TMS. It happened so effortlessly. I will miss bringing out the
issue and writing the edit as per His directions, of course. What gives me great
joy is that TMS is now in very good hands and will surely go to the next level.
Thank you for the record contributions we received in May. This will help the
new editor bring out the next issue comfortably.
Thank you readers for bearing with our little hiccups. For the blessings my team
and me received in abundance. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve.
Praise the Lord.
May-June-July15 Vol 26 - No.10
Thank you so very much for The Mustard Seed which I have been reading
regularly ever since June Valladares started it! It is so inspirational and easy to
read with such lofty thoughts behind every article.
Many loving thanks and God Bless your efforts.
Congratulations! ‘The Mustard Seed is indeed a wonderful and thought
provoking journal. I was introduced to it for the first time and I appreciate it very
much. I wish you all the best and pray for God’s abundant blessings upon you
and the entire TMS family.
With lots of wishes and prayers
A Close friend in Bangalore gave me May – June – July issue of The Mustard
Seed, you are doing a great service and content is not only interesting but also
educative. I am an old man of 83 years and privileged to share my birthday
with Lord Jesus Christ. At this advanced age I need lot of religious and spiritual
inputs for a peaceful life. Mustard Seed is the right publication for these inputs.
Kindly enroll me as a subscriber and regularly send me the wonderful
Warm Regards, Truly,
Some years back I was introduced to The Mustard Seed by my friend Mrs.
Betty Omar, since then I have been receiving the hard copies regularly. with
love + gratitude. Wish you success + joy to all at TMS.
Lots of love
Zarin Z. Kothavala
HOW TO LIVE
Go not to the church to put flowers at the feet of statues. First, fill your own
house with the fragrance of love.
Go not to the church to light candles before the altar of God. First, remove the
darkness of sin from your heart.
Go not to the church to bow down your head in prayer. First, learn how to bow
to in humility before your fellowmen.
Go not to the church to pray on
bended knees. First, bend down to lift someone who is down trodden.
Go not to the church to ask for forgiveness of your sins. First, forgive from your
heart those who have sinned against you.
Prayer is not asking, It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s
weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without
THE MAN AT HOME IN HIMSELF
Is one who lives
in that undisturbed state
where the eternal out and in of breathing
goes on peacefully.
In which he gives himself to the world
without losing himself in it,
abides there awhile
without being swallowed by it,
without thereby cutting himself off from it
and remains alone
without ever hardening himself.
-- Von Durkheim, Karlfried Graf
Do not simply educate yourself, do offer yourself to others.
You become something for sure if you educate yourself, you will be free to be
everything and anything once you offer yourself.
Becoming limits us, being develops our true potential.
Becoming something makes us responsible. Being releases us.
It’s a huge step in society to shift from becoming to being, from educating to
It’s a movement from job to joy.
From getting to gratitude.
From development to divinity.
From ego to whole.
When we dissolve ego we become whole and not empty.
The intercessor is a worshipper who has understood
the deepest feelings of God and clings to them,
despite contrary appearances.
“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in
all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long
as you ever can”
THE SOUND OF SILENCE
We need to find God and He cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is
the friend of silence, see how nature – trees, flowers, grass grow in silence; see
the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence.
We need silence to be able to touch Souls.
FRUIT OF SILENCE
‘Fruit of Silence’ a two day meet was a moving experience. Periods of silence
beautifully interspersed with talks and sharing of thoughts made me realize the
true meaning of ‘when words fail, silence speaks volumes.’ Silence puts you in
the mood to think, to introspect, to find peace within and without.
The time spent in total silence sitting under the trees, listening to the chirping
birds, gazing at the bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds floating by, enjoying
the fragrance of flowers, the touch of soft gentle breeze rejuvenated me. Why not
reap the fruits of silence daily?
Now I start my day in total silence try to unwind, streamline the stress think
positive, and clear the clutter in the mind. Mind plays a vital role on our body
and looks I use a mind over body technique of creative visualization.Atechnique
which is basically of affirmations and reaffirmations ending with ‘I can’ and ‘I
will’. With this technique I am using it for weight loss, overcoming fear, no
tiredness etc. I have not only lost weight, overcome Fears and tiredness, but have
gained confidence and positivity. I then get up and look myself at my Mirror
image and smile wish myself good morning … say I love you … I love you a lot”
I am at peace. As I see good morning turn in to a blissful lovely day.
GOD MUST HAVE KNOWN
God must have known our hearts would need a reassuring touch.
When he made the friendly handclasp that warms our hearts so much.
He must have known that skies of blue would often turn to gray.
He put the sunshine in a smile to brighten up our day.
God knew, I am sure that you and I would need a helping hand. A kindly word to
let us know that others understand.
God must have known our hearts would need a special kind of cheer.
I’m sure that’s why he sent dear friends to journey with us here.
I am still determined to be cheerful and to be happy, in whatever situation I may
be – for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness
or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.
Two illusions of social existence: Some body has taken away something &
something wrong has happened.
Two illuminations of spiritual initiation: Everything is ok & nothing matters.
The one in society builds capacity and contacts; the one in spiritual living creates
connection and lives in congruence.
The shift is from collection to contribution.
Contribution creates the flow, collection creates force.
Lots of Love & Care,
MY GHAR VAPSI PROGRAM HOW TO LEAD YOUR LIFE
As I look through the telescope of my life I see what has happened over the past
79 years. I have no regrets. Every moment has been a new experience, though
not all of them pleasant. But each has a learning. As I try not to die, this message
is not about dying but about living.
I wish to give a glimpse of my past and my ride into the future I have been
very fortunate to have been influenced by and associated with some of the most
remarkable people on this planet - parents, wife, siblings, teachers, children,
colleagues etc. If I have forgotten anybody, you can add yourself to the list.
Surrounded by positive thinking and optimism, I have come to believe that
anything is possible. I have taken many risks with the confidence that things
would work out. Mostly they didn’t and in fact in some situations, problems
“Failure is not just acceptable, it is sometimes essential”. But this has not
discouraged me. In fact I would have felt bad if I had avoided the challenge and
taken the easy path of not doing anything. There is a saying “No matter how bad
things are you can always make them worse”
“Live in the moment”. Time is the most precious commodity that has been given
to us. It is a myth that we all have the same time. You can earn time by delegating
- delegate to others who would like to do the task you give them: delegate your
worries to those who can and will handle them (even for a fee). Concentrate on
priorities and don’t sweat over the unimportant. This will give a great boost to
the unemployment situation in the country.
“Luck is indeed where preparation meets opportunity”. There have been many
such occasions in my life and I hope there will be many more in the remaining
years that I live. But plans can change. Mostly they get changed by others and
by circumstances. Few of us have our own plans which we can change. At a
get-together of those who passed out of school with me, not one was pursuing
the career he had set out to do. Hence I ask the Management Gurus - What is the
significance of long term and strategic planning in the real world which is full
of black swans.
We live in a world where we are forced to live with others. How well we master
this art will determine whether the tasks we have at hand will be successfully
executed or not. We are put together sometimes with the most unlikely people.
If you work hard at the relationship you will find out that it works in the end
Time is the therapy which most of us ignore. Hope is long term. There are many
ideas on how to build relationships like finding the things you have in common,
keeping ego out of the way, praising others sometimes even when they are not
around. The other may not respond or reciprocate. But remember time is the best
When we are connected to others we become better people. I have gotten to see
examples of the best humanity has to offer. What more could I hope for. The
critical aspect of a terminal illness is the “Caregiver”. She is often pushed to the
sidelines. Nobody realizes the stress she goes through to micro manage every
detail. When meals and medication are to be given, having sensitivity to the
feelings of the patient, how to reduce pain and suffering. She will wake you up
just as you are falling into a deep sleep to give you your sleeping tablet.
I need to end now, as I have to attend to my favorite past time - which is sleeping
and dreaming about my next article in this series.
STRIKE THE MATCH AGAIN!
Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his
chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I
tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. (Luke 18:6–8)
God’s timing is not ours to command. If we do not start the fire with the first
strike of our match, we must try again. God does hear our prayer, but He may
not answer it at the precise time we have appointed in our own minds. Instead,
He will reveal Himself to our seeking hearts, though not necessarily when and
where we may expect. Therefore we have a need for perseverance and steadfast
determination in our life of prayer. In the old days of flint, steel, and brimstone
matches, people had to strike the match again and again, perhaps even dozens
before they could get a spark to light their fire, and they were very thankful if
they finally succeeded. Should we not exercise the same kind of perseverance
and hope regarding heavenly things? When it comes to faith, we have more
certainty of success than we could ever have had with flint and steel, for we have
God’s promises as a foundation. May we, therefore, never despair. God’s time
for mercy will come—in fact, it has already come, if our time for believing has
arrived. Ask in faith without wavering, but never cease to petition the ing simply
because He has delayed His reply. Strike the match again and make the sparks
fly. Yet be sure to have your tinder ready, for you will get a fire before long.
Charles H. Spurgeon
JUST ONE THOUGHT
Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
I have been told that I need to have faith in God. Which is a good thing. But what
I am learning is that God has faith in me.
Having a sense of humor is like having an umbrella when the rain rolls in.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the future we forget to take pleasure in what
we have, we become so obsessed with, “I want, I want, I want”, there is no room
left to notice that we are already standing neck-deep in grace.
Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart.
Myla Kabat - Zinn
The Mustard Seed as usual comes to you free of charge. However, contributions are welcome. About
2000 copies are being printed and distributed all over India and abroad. Editorial matter, testimonies,
cheques / MO may be sent to- Raadhika Dosa D’Cruz, #33 St. Patrick’s Town, Solapur Road
Hadapsar, Pune 411013
Cheques to be drawn in the name of Radhika Dossa If you have a friend who would like to receive
The Mustard Seed regularly, free of cost, please send in his/her name and address.
If you would like to help Save Paper by accepting online issues of TMS, kindly let us
know your email address. Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
As someone who edited TMS for close to sixteen years I envy Raadhika the
Grace that is in store for her. For with The Mustard Seed come trailing clouds
of Grace for all those who contribute to it. Looking back on those busy, busy
years when I was working in advertising, running a professional college and
writing a regular newspaper column, I see that TMS practically wrote edited
and published itself. I had a few very willing colleagues who went way beyond
their call of duty to see it through with a great sense of involvement. Though
the money was tight, somehow we had enough contributions to pay our printers
(who were willing to wait for months sometimes) and cover the cost of postage
all over the world.
Once I remember we owed the printer exactly Rs. 4,800. And in the mail there
was a cheque for Rs. 5,000 from an anonymous donor whose signature I could
Trying to fill each issue with some nugget of faith and belief that its readers could
retain, I embarked on an extensive reading program which not only enriched my
life but cemented my faith so much that even today, years later, when something
bad happens, I have an unshakeable conviction welling up that the outcome must
be for my good.
Thank you June, for giving me this great blessing in my life. And when I no
longer had the staff to help me, thank you Kiran, for taking it over and adding
so much value to it. And thanks Raadhika, for taking it over. Just the blessings
that flow from the readers with each issue will humble you and enrich your life
in ways you cannot even imagine. It happened to me when I was doing His work
The Mustard Seed, a journal of creative faith...has come a long way since its
inception and first issue brought out in 1989, just over 26 years ago! I was
privileged to bring out the journal for seven exciting, marvel-filled years.
Then Sadiqa from Bangalore brought its wisdom and grace to thousands more
readers over a marathon period of 16 years.... before the journal returned to Pune
in the devoted and capable hands of outgoing editor Kiran Bhat.... may God
continue to bless and guide her future plans.
I take this opportunity to welcome very warmly into the community of faith
which The Mustard Seed has sown, grown and fostered over the decades.... the
next editor for this opus dei (work of God).
Raadhika Dosa D’Cruz... the Lord is never to be outdone in generosity...
I have no doubts whatsoever that He will more than make it up to you for the
willingness with which you have promptly accepted to love and serve Him
through this little journal of faith.
I pray that with God’s help and guidance The Mustard Seed will become a tall
tree in which birds of many hues and different feathers will take shelter and find
increasing peace, joy and love.
WORDS FROM TMS FOUNDER
Life is a Journey, and while the destination may always be an ever elusive
horizon, the Journey itself is made up of twists and turns. Fate, perhaps destiny
or just the Lord’ s design…. Call it what you will. It was Fate that brought
our family back to my husband’s roots, to live here in St. Patricks. And so we
began to weave our own design into the fabric of this little community, not just
with the threads of generations of family and friends, but with our own family.
The sense of community was vastly different from other places we had lived.
Curious stares, hostile glares, smiles and nods soon became a part of our evening
promenade. Seasons changed, Time moved forward. The weave kept growing
tighter with new friendships and shared experiences. All of this was unexpected
given the hectic nature of modern day work-life balances. Who has the time to
stop and share, care, chat and give?
It was a call from the blue, from a neighbour, such an unexpected surprise to
be invited to edit TMS. I found myself say yes. “ Why me?” I later wondered,
humbled at the honour. I had recently quit work and taken an extended sabbatical
to focus more on things that meant so much to me: my home and family and my
search for “Something More”. Domestic trials and bliss, travels to foreign lands,
the loss of several beloved and faithful dogs in their old age made me wonder
that I had made the decision to stop working at the right time. For months now
I had been meditating on what the path ahead was. The idea of Something More
kept niggling at me. There had to be some service, some purpose, some way of
giving back and not continuing in this coma. And unexpectedly, TMS called to
me. I felt this was what I had been waiting for. Thank you, Lord!
I am truly grateful to all the lovely, amazing ladies who have given years of
service to TMS and who have entrusted me to care for what they have so lovingly
nurtured. I am so happy to have this wonderful surprise.
I am grateful for this opportunity to serve and to share with you all. I trust that we
will journey together into the future, with compassion, inspiration and joy. I pray
that I will be worthy of your faith placed in me. I look forward to making TMS
a community effort and a shared experience for us all. Onwards in faith, always
Raadhika Dosa D’Cruz
MYSTERY OF THE CRYING MAN
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench
sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He told
me, ‘I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every
morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage,
fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.’ I continued,
‘Well, then why are you crying?’ He added,
‘She makes me homemade soup for lunch and
my favourite biscuits, cleans the house and
then watches sports TV with me for the rest of
the afternoon.’ I said, ‘Well, why are you crying?’
He said, ‘For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal
with wine and my favourite dessert and then we
cuddle until the small hours.’ I inquired, ‘Well then, why in the
world would you be crying?’ He replied, ‘I can’t remember
where I live.’
SPIRITUAL ALCHEMY SERIES
Experiments with Forgiveness
As human beings, we are constantly looking for the divine mystery of life to
unfold. A spiritual seeker embarks on many paths before he or she finds one that
he/she is comfortable with. Some paths start with external awakenings, like japa/
zikr, worship, pilgrimages. Some start with internal awakenings, like quiet time,
analyzing the self, withdrawing from external stimulus to find a more centered
Every path is sacred. There is no doubt about the path and its objective, a
culmination to the seeker’s mono-myth. When we ask questions: What is life,
we need to first acknowledge the fact that life is a complex network of lives
intertwined and no ‘one’ thread is independent of another.
Most of our paths are carefully laid out within a reference framework of lives
from past patterns in human evolution. In a spiritual journey everything has a
place in the complex structure; animate and inanimate, cause and effect.
Karma, the oft quoted and severely misinterpreted word plays a very important
factor in almost all aspects of our lives. We often mislead ourselves into thinking
if we are good, the world will be good. If we are bad, the world will be bad.
It works similarly in our interactions with other people. This really simplistic
approach is the base of our joy and of our sadness. We get hurt and we do not
understand why the person did this to us, when we have been good. It starts
within us a process of analyzing ‘why me?’ with spiritually sensitive people.
Karma is complicated. And when things are repeated again and again, it might
seem that sometimes things are spiraling out of context. On introspection, these
are the very things one needs to see till one can analyze why our life is not going
the way it should. Let’s just say we want to go beyond karma. Beyond a fatalistic,
unrealistic and cyclic cause and effect. Then what do we do? Sometimes we
need to go deeper into our psyche and resolve a past situation which has created
this cyclic pattern in us and our surroundings. Unease with our present is the
first step towards healing or aligning our life. The cause and effect cycle occurs
irrespective of our conscious decision to be a part of it or not. We meet several
soul mates, mirrors of our sub-conscious minds, archetypes that help us keep the
cycle on. To say we love when we meet a soulmate is partially true.
To a sadak or seeker, anyone who complements his/her search is a soulmate. But
also let me clarify, we are not born due to a set of destinies that predetermine
our parents, our paths, our lives. To say it simplistically: We are Born. In an
unending cycle of birth, life and death. And all our acts contribute to a set of
actions, which when they have a concrete status add to the karmic collection:
individual, social, psychological, personal, interpersonal and global. As long as
we understand that as human beings, given our social norms and conditioning,
we cannot be alone, we are guided to a higher consciousness of cohabiting with
each other in peace and harmony. Then what causes disharmony?
It is a state of lack that creates a need in a human being to create a state of lack,
in another human being. If we do get caught up in this cycle, we can be either a
victim or a perpetrator, and be at one end or the other of an unbalanced situation.
A constant balance of thoughts, acts and deeds and conscious effort is required
to maintain a sense of balance within the self, which in turn creates a sense of
balance in surrounding spaces.
To be happy, one must first ask what gives us happiness...
Filmmaker. Artist. Poet.
Note from the Editor - This is a very profound piece. I urge you all to read it
WHEN A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN’T WE?
This is a true story that happened in Japan. In order to renovate the house,
someone in Japan breaks open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow
space between the wooden walls.
When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there
because a nail from outside hammered into one of it’s feet.
He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when
he checked the nail, it was nailed 5 years ago when the house
was first built !!!
The lizard has survived in such position for 5 years!!!!!!!!!!
In a dark wall partition for 5 years without moving, it is
impossible and mind-boggling.
Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 5 years!
without moving a single step--since it’s foot was nailed!
So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been
doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it
came, appears another lizard, with food in it’s mouth. Ah! He was stunned and
For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the
past 5 years...
Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 5 long years, without giving up
hope on it’s partner. Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed
with a brilliant mind can’t. Never abandon your loved ones Never Say you’re
Busy When They Really Need You ..
You May Have The Entire World At Your Feet.....
But You Might Be The Only World To Them....
A Moment of negligence might break the very heart which loved you against all
Before you say something just remember..it takes a moment to Break but an
entire lifetime to make...
DUCKS QUACK, EAGLES SOAR
I was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing
I noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a
white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out
and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for me.
He handed me a laminated card and said: ‘I’m Wasu, your driver. While I’m
loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.’
Taken aback, I read the card. It said: Wasu’s Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way
possible in a friendly environment.
This blew me away. Especially when I noticed that the inside of the cab matched
the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wasu said, ‘Would you like a cup of coffee? I have
a thermos of regular and one of decaf.’
I said jokingly, ‘No, I’d prefer a soft drink.’
Wasu smiled and said, ‘No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and
Diet Coke, lassi, water and orange juice.’
Almost stuttering, I said, ‘I’ll take a Lassi.’
Handing me my drink, Wasu said, ‘If you’d like something to read, I have The
Hindu, Times of India, ET and India Today.’
As they were pulling away, Wasu handed me another laminated card, ‘These
are the stations I get and the music they play, if you’d like to listen to the radio.’
And as if that weren’t enough, Wasu told me that he had the air conditioning on
and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised me of the
best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he’d
be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if I preferred, to leave
me with my own thoughts.
‘Tell me, Wasu,’ I was amazed and asked him, ‘have you always
served customers like this?’
Wasu smiled into the rear view mirror. ‘No,
not always. In fact, it’s only been in the last two
years. My first five years driving, I spent most of
my time complaining like all the rest of the
cabbies do. Then I heard about power of choice
‘Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an
‘If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day,
you’ll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining!’
‘Don’t be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above
‘That hit me right,’ said Wasu.
‘It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change
my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their
drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were
unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes.
I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.’
‘I take it that has paid off for you,’ I said.
‘It sure has,’Wasu replied. ‘My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from
the previous year. This year I’ll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for
appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.’
Wasu made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start
soaring like eagles !
From the internet
LORD I’M GETTING OLDER
Lord, you knew better than I know myself that I am getting older and will
someday be really old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say
something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from
the craving to straighten out every body’s affairs. Make me
thoughtful and not moody, helpful but not bossy. With my vast
store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it at all, but you
know, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end. Keep my
mind from the endless recital of details give me the wings to
come to the point.
Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing
and my love for rehearsing then is becoming sweeter.
I do not ask for the grace to enjoy the tales of others
pains, but help me to endure them with patience. I dare not
ask for improved memory but for a growing humility and a
lessening cocksureness, when my memory seems to clash with the memories of
others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken. Keep
me reasonable sweet. I so not want to be a saint – some of them are so hard to
live with – but a sour old woman is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give
me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and the talents in people,
and give me the grace to tell them so.
By a 17th century Nun
TO A BIRD IN THE CAGE
You who are born
In a cage within a cage,
Are you happy?
Can you conceive any thought,
You who are fed
On the crumbs of charity?
Can you fly into dream,
You whose feet are clogged
And even if you could,
How far would you go?
There’s always a cage
within a cage.
Balanced on the edge of void,
You have at least,
The comfort of the bars.
You cannot help surrendering
To the nature
Of your singing.
Surely, you must look
From - The Desert Blossom(pub 1972)
FROM ONE MOTHER TO ANOTHER
On knowing that you have lost your baby, I can truly say that I am aware of
exactly how you feel. Having been through the same kind of loss more than
once, I would be lying if I said that the pain will go away soon. I would be
cheating on myself if I expect you to not worry as things like this happen. Losing
my angels, Ayden and Aniella, were the worst experiences in my life and they
will live on with me to the end. There is not a single day that goes by without
me thinking about them, I still sob my heart out often. But I truly thank God
for giving them to me, even if it was for a short while. It was wonderful having
them. They taught me the true meaning of the word ‘Mother’.
Since you have carried a baby in your womb, you are no longer the same person
you were before. You became a mother the moment you conceived. It is okay for
you to cry and grieve your loss. Don’t hold on to your feelings as the pain will
only amplify, if you do so.
It is hard for both spouses to be in so much pain and not know how to help the
other. Yes, your husband too is going through a lot of pain at the moment, even
though he may not be expressing any of it. At present, to you, it may seem like
having a baby didn’t really matter to him. The reality is that your baby did matter
a lot to him, but you matter even more. Hence, he is holding fort and staying
strong for you. It will be good if you understand his position and share with him,
the pain that you both are experiencing.
I can truthfully say that I believe that God has planned our lives and he truly
works miracles. It is only time that will unfold true happiness. I hold my little
baby girl, tight in my arms, as I write this to you. She is my reason to believe
that God knows what He is doing. As hard as it is to accept loss, I assure you that
He is up there watching over you and holding you & your husband in His arms.
He is whispering into your ears that He knows what is good. You need to listen
to His faint voice. It is awfully hard but that is the only thing that will get you
through your time of trial. I pray that you hear God’s voice and you feel peace.
He will make all things good, in His time. Take care of yourself as His plan is
about to unravel.
If there is love of God, there will be love of fellow beings like the pollen dust in
See only the good of others. Speak only well. Ignore their frailties. Weigh each
word in the Love Balance of Jesus before speaking.
Art by SAMIA