Discusses partners' differing faith styles and how to reconcile them to have a healthy shared faith path

1. Spiritual Intimacy
Harmonizing Different Faith Styles

2. Spirituality Is Part of the Vertical Aspect
of Strong Blessed Marriage
Horizontal: Vertical:
Friends & Lovers Partners in Purpose
• Friendship • Commitment
• Passion • Purpose
Purpose
Marital
Friendship Passion
Love
Adapted from Robert
Commitment Sternberg’s Triangle
Theory of Love

3. Love for a Higher Purpose Deepens
Closeness
Loving the Sharing faith can be
same purpose God like sharing parents
•Fortifies respect & Ideals
and sense of security
Spouse Spouse
Spouse Spouse

4. How Do Spiritual & Religious Practices
Strengthen Our Marriage and Family?

5. Religious Practices Strengthen
Marriage and Family Life I
1. Promotes moral behavior
and forgiveness
2. Provides a family-
oriented social network
3. Increases resilience to
stress
4. Helps children to perform
better at school
5. Boosts personal
happiness, health
and longer life

6. Religious Practices Strengthen
Marriage and Family Life II
Greatest benefits come from
discussing and practicing
spiritual beliefs at home
More helpful than shared beliefs:
• Shared sense of higher
meaning to your marriage
• What spouses do together
to act upon their faith

7. Different Styles of Faith

8. Spiritual Closeness Is a Common
Challenge in Marriage
1. Many couples struggle to find
a shared way
• To relate to God and spiritually
grow together
2. Conflict of styles is common
• One favored path to God may be
the opposite of your spouse’s
• Easy to judge the mate’s way as
inferior

9. How Is Praying Together Beneficial?
How Might It Be Challenging?

10. Praying Together Is Beneficial &
Challenging
Benefits Challenges
• Invites God to intervene in • Can be hard to be so
our marriage vulnerable, especially
• Strengthens our sense of when there are tensions
shared purpose and ideals • Differences of prayer
• Helps us gain God’s view styles
of our marriage • Hard to make time
• Softens our heart and
exposes it to our mate
Hoon Dok Hae is similar

11. There Are Many Different Spiritual
Types
Adapted from
Myra Perrine,
God Languages

12. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth &
Closeness I

13. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth &
Closeness II

14. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth &
Closeness III

15. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth &
Closeness IV

16. Making Spiritual Harmony
1. Find one or more
spiritual paths that can
be shared as a couple
• One of the partner’s ways
or a third way
2. Focus on common
values and ideals
• God
• Truth, Beauty, Goodness,
Justice or True Love
3. Shared service is
powerful

17. When Your Spouse Struggles
with Their Faith

18. Faith Differences or Personal Faith
Struggles Come Up at Times
Life events can highlight faith
•Death and crisis
•Church changes
•Children
1. Faith becomes especially
important
2. Or it can be challenged
•Bring out personal weaknesses and
marital differences

19. What to Do If Your Spouse
Struggles in their Faith?
• This can be threatening

20. Consider How Your Spouse Might Feel
Imagine you are the more religious one in your couple.
•Now imagine your spouse has suddenly become twice as
religious as you are. You are now the “unspiritual” one,
holding them and children back from knowing and serving
God more, the “selfish” one who is never good enough.
How do you feel?

21. When One Spouse Struggles in Faith
Faith fluctuates over time “Whether you
1. Faith needs to be reexamined at times are destined
so it can mature for heaven or
• Need freedom to doubt and struggle hell is not
determined
2. Try to honor your mate’s legitimate by your
effort to keep their integrity doctrines and
• God will work through a genuine perspectives…
search for truth but by your
• Modeling God’s acceptance and faith daily life.”
in them is a testimony to your faith Father

22. Family Traditions

23. How Will You Raise Your Children?
• Tithe? Even if it means no
karate lessons?
• Display a big picture of True
Parents?
• Have HoonDokHae regularly?
When?
• Attend church weekly or at
• Pray together before
least regularly?
each meal? Other times?
• Send the children to every
• Do Pledge? When?
church youth event you can?
• Read Bible stories to the
• Put your kids in a good private
children? Catholic school?

24. Important Blessed Family Traditions I
1. Sanctifying the First Night
•Like 3-day Ceremony
2. Sanctifying births of children
•Prayer support at birth with
3 people and birth candle
•Grateful offering at 8 days
3. Family Worship and study
•Learning God’s Word (HDH)
•Family Pledge
•Sunday Service
•Tithing

25. Important Blessed Family Traditions II
4. Living with God &
True Parents
• Prominent photos
• Prayer place
5. Sanctifying birthdays
• Parents’ Blessing
6. Celebrating Holy Days
• Pledge and offerings
7. Preparing children for
Matching
• Teaching purity

26. Traditions Prioritizing Family Life
• Meals together
• Couple date nights
• Holiday celebrations
• Playing games,
sharing chores and
other family activities
• Vacation activities

27. Deepen Spiritual Oneness
as you grow 1. Commit to growing in personal
spiritual maturity
• Keep adjusting to each other
2. Commit to nourish the spiritual
basis of your marriage
• Maintain regular traditions
3. Commit to greater service to God
and the world

28. Tool: Sharing Spiritual Paths
1. Consider these • Study
• Be in small groups
spiritual paths • Pray
• Fast
2. Mark your • Mentor others
• Serve greater
favorites • Be mentored causes
3. Guess your • Celebrate
mate’s
• Assist spirit world
• Tithe • Meditation
favorites
• Make music • Fight injustice
4. Mark which
ones you • Care for nature • Be creative
might share • Worship • Share intimacy
• Observe traditions • Care for others