Mental strength, the psychological toughness to persevere during difficult times, to keep focused on goals and achieve them even after repeated setbacks, is critical for success. Those that possess this quality lead happier, fuller lives as they make the most of the unique gifts and passions. Learning to increase your mental strength is straightforward: not easy, but the steps necessary are simple. When followed consistently people break down barriers that had been holding them back and find life much more rewarding.

1. BUILD THE MENTAL
STRENGTH TO PUSH
THROUGH ANY
OBSTACLE
P. Forrest Talley, Ph.D.
Invictus Psychological Services
2020
forresttalley.com

2. Every child comes into the
world carrying two sets of
luggage.

3. You cannot see the luggage,
but every parent of young
children will tell you it’s there
all the same.

4. In one set of luggage is a sense
of determination, wonder, and
zest for exploration.

5. Open the other set of luggage
and you’ll find the exact opposite:
a desire to be spoiled, a tendency
to take things for granted, and a
desire to ‘play it safe.’

6. In the early years of life, a child
will learn to depend more on one
set of luggage or the other.

7. Or more persistent,
curious, and
fearless.
Life experiences will encourage a
child to become either….
More
narcissistic,
self-absorbed
and fearful…

8. What determines which way a will
child grow?
Let’s take a look.

9. Very young children are naturally
curious and very determined.
You see this when they are
learning to talk, feed & dress
themselves, and learning to
walk.

10. Let’s take the last skill as an
example. Research shows that
the average toddler takes about
1,400 steps a day and falls
100 times day.

11. That means over the course of
one month the toddler has fallen
about 3,000 times while
learning to walk. Just in one
month!

12. Now fast forward two or three
decades.

13. How many adults would continue
to try and master a skill that they
had failed to successfully
complete 3000 times during the
first month of practice?

14. VERY FEW!

15. Somewhere between toddlerhood
and adulthood many people learn
to dial back their determination.

16. This is very sad as it
leads to a life with
less…
Adventure
Success
Fulfillment
Confidence
Impact

17. How do people come to
learn to take this timid
approach to life?

18. Surely no one
intentionally seeks this
out in childhood.

19. You are right. It is often a
matter of teaching children
the wrong lesson… often
with good intentions.

20. Instead of being taught
to face life’s huge
challenges….
A child learns to take
the easier path

21. When no one insists
that the youngster keep trying
To push through the frustration
To keep at a task until it is mastered

22. Then bad habits form…
Not trying your best
Aiming too low
Giving up

23. Over time, this
leads a child to
become complacent
and settle for too
little in life.

24. As adults it can mean setting
aside dreams, and giving up on
life’s big goals after experiencing
some initial failures.

25. Many people
begin to let the
fear of failure
keep them from
being their
best.

26. These anxieties cause them to
miss out on becoming who they
were meant to be…
They live a safe and luke
warm life.

27. A safe, but dull
life. There is
always this
nagging sense
that something
is missing.

28. There are,
of course,
those that
take a
different
path.

29. Those who have a healthy
streak of ‘grit.’ These men
and women meet failure and
push through.

30. For example… The
famous author Jack
London had his first
story rejected by
publishers over 100
times before it was
eventually accepted
and published.

31. Henry Ford had
failed at several
business
ventures before
starting Ford
Motor Company.

32. Steven Spielberg
was rejected three
times from the
University of
Southern
California School
of Theater, Film
and Television.

33. Not giving up, he eventually
realized that film directing did not
require a fancy college degree….
Seems to have done pretty well for
himself.

34. Each of these individuals
showed the grit and
determination to push
fear to the side and grab
hold of success.

35. They possessed a mind set capable
of pushing life in an entirely new
direction.

36. How do people develop this
type of strength?

37. Is it something one is born
with, or is it something that
can be learned?

38. Research shows that it is a
combination of both…
but mainly it is learned.

39. AND, if it is learned, then it
can be strengthened.

40. Just the way math or
language skills are learned.

41. And strengthened with
practice and repetition.

42. It is never to late to build
stronger skills at persisting.
To become tougher, to have
more ‘grit.’

43. BUT HOW?

44. Let’s look at FIVE essential
practices for building TRUE
GRIT
1
2
3
4 5

45. TAKE SOME TIME TO
RECOUNT THE IMPORTANT
VICTORIES IN YOUR LIFE.
ONE

46. Recall the sense of
satisfaction that
came with each
victory…
the shift in
perspective…
the feelings of
confidence and well
being.

47. Write each achievement, or
victory, down on one side of
a piece of paper.

48. Next to each
achievement
write down the
obstacles that
stood in the way.

49. Think about what was required of
you to overcome these
challenges, the effort and
persistence that was needed.

50. Now scan back
to the other side
of the page and
focus on the
victory you won,
the goal you
reached.

51. Good stuff, right? Helps keep
things in perspective. Helps
maintain the mojo at the dojo

52. You should keep this list
handy and add to it as other
memories come to mind.
Be sure to review it from
time to time.

53. PICTURE THE QUALITY OF
PSYCHOLOGICAL GRIT AS AN
ENERGY SOURCE WITHIN
YOUR BRAIN.
53
TWO

54. A SMALL BUNDLE OF NEURONS
THAT GLOW BRIGHT EVERY TIME
YOU TAP INTO THAT RESOURCE.
54

55. the neuronal
bundle grows a
little bigger, and
glows a little
brighter.
Now imagine that each time
you persevere a little longer
at a task…

56. Like a muscle, the more you
exercise your brain to be
tough, the stronger it
becomes.
Grit becomes
second nature.

57. READ BIOGRAPHIES OF
THOSE WHO HAVE FACED
HUGE CHALLENGES AND
PERSISTED.
57
THREE

58. When reading biographies I
want you to deeply consider
how the person might have
felt during those difficult times.
Ernest Shackelton Marion Anderson Father Damien LT Michael P. Murphy

59. How might that person’s life have
turned out differently had he, or she,
not been persistent in the face of
setbacks and ordeals?
A Fork In The Road

60. REMIND YOURSELF
There is no changing a life
story after the last page has
been written.

61. But if you are still breathing, you
are still writing your life story.

62. It is never too late
to drastically
change your life
story (think of
Ebenezer
Scrooge in ‘A
Christmas Carol’)

63. So learn and take heart from
others who have persisted in
the face of hardships.
63

64. Put up photos of some
people you admire, those
who have demonstrated
remarkable persistence.

65. Place them in your home where
you will frequently be reminded
and inspired by their journey.

66. Everyone needs role
models. It is no different
when building grit.

67. Be Intentional
67
FOUR

68. The next time you face a
challenge, be intentional in
reminding yourself that

69. Push yourself to go a little
further than you might
otherwise.

70. Then push yourself
a little more.

71. And then, a little further.

72. Soon, what seemed so
difficult a short time before
becomes easily
accomplished.

73. Now take a step back and
look at your progress.
Enjoy the moment.
Then continue to push on.

74. BE AGGRESSIVE
74
FIVE

75. Don’t sit back and wait.
Search for
opportunities
to test yourself.

76. Focus on challenges that are
meaningful to you.

77. This could be in the realm of
achieving a new personal best in
some athletic endeavor, giving a
speech at a civics club, asking for
a raise, or saying no to others
when you normally say ‘yes.’

78. Just make sure that your
choice involves something
that is important to you.

79. Then move on to:
Plan
Prepare
Execute

80. When you have persisted and
reached that new goal, take
some time to celebrate.

81. Savor the moment.

82. Don’t focus on how you could
have done better (there is time
enough for that later on), but
instead recognize the importance
of the grit you demonstrated.

83. Then think about some
other aspect of life where
you can you use this
growing power of grit.

84. How might your life
change for the better if
you started to focus with
‘grit’ on that area?

85. Think carefully about the
answer, then write it down.
Let this answer light a fire
under your feet that keeps
you moving forward to a
bigger, better, happier life.

86. Now use the five steps we
just reviewed and apply
them to this new goal.

87. When you have succeeded
(congratulations btw),I want
you to:
celebrate
find another target
take aim
fire and repeat

88. If you would like to dive more
deeply into this topic I suggest
reading Angela Duckworth’s book
Grit: The Power and Passion of
Perseverance.