This is the power point from Saturday's 3-Day Institute on Supporting Emotional Development Summer 2015.

1. FOUNDATIONS OF SEL
LEARNING IN GROUPS
William SharpWilliam Sharp
Boston Graduate School ofBoston Graduate School of
PsychoanalysisPsychoanalysis
617 216 3871617 216 3871

2. K-W-L CHART: CONNECTING WITH
STUDENTS
 Know  Want to know

3. BUT FIRST… A STORY.

4. THE THING YOU HAVE THE
MOST DIFFICULTY BEING,
IS GOING TO BE THE
THING YOUR MOST
DIFFICULT STUDENT
NEEDS.

5. ALL BEHAVIOR IS AN
ATTEMPT TO
COMMUNICATE
SOMETHING.

6. SELF CARE:
YOUR STUDENTS WILL ADJUST WHEN YOU
DO.

7. THE LION WON’T EAT ME-
I AM A VEGETARIAN:
Remember, the more regressed, the more likely it
comes down to fight or flight.

8. WE BELIEVE WE ARE
THINKING CREATURES
WHO FEEL, BUT WE ARE
FEELING CREATURES
WHO THINK.

9. What is the impact of a lack of
SELF AWARENESS
RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
RESPONSIBLE DECISION MAKING?

10. FUTURE IMPACT ON LEARNING
 View failures and traumas as sadness and anger
over disruption to their life
 Safe havens are needed
 Shaken values and identity
 Acting out behaviors
 Manipulation: playing authority off each other

11. EMPATHY V SYMPATHY
 https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw
 Also…
 The Power of Vulnerability
 https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o

12. SOLUTIONS
Maintain boundaries
You can be friendly, but you cant be their friend
Avoid attacks on weak egos
(avoid the use of you in favor of I)
TALK TALK TALK.. .use your thoughts and
feelings to show words have a power without a
side effect.

13. SOLUTIONS (CONT)
Utilize strengths
Find creative ways to be with them
Try new things to see results
Get consultations and help
Refer out for special needs
Mind-body breaks
Breath
Count to 125
Be…

14. HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND IF
YOUR TEACHER SAID… “YOU
KIDS BETTER SHAPE UP, I AM
IN NO MOOD TO FOOL AROUND
TODAY.”
 “Oh, I better behave, she means business today.”
 “Oh, what have I been doing wrong so far, am I
fooling around now? Maybe I had better stay
perfectly still.” (Freeze or Flight into themselves)
 “Oh, she wants a fight… I can give her a fight.”

15. WHAT DO I DO WITH A CLASSROOM
FULL OF PERSONALITY?
(DISORDERS, HORMONES, ETC)
 Group as a whole – the use of Bridging (or the
power of peer pressure)
 Individual interventions in a group setting

16. STUDY THE TENSION STATE
 What is baseline?
 What raises it?
 What lowers it?
 Remember, it may not be the same for you.
 ISTJ and ENFPs

17.  END OF LESSON 2

18. BALANCING SELF CARE

19. IF ONLY THIS WORK HAD WARNING
SIGNS…
UNIVERSAL PRECAUTIONS FOR
WORKING WITH KIDS

20. TRANSFERENCES
You are not who you think you
are… there are ghosts, baggage,
and blue prints from other
relations and attachments.

21. COUNTER TRANSFERENCES
You have feelings about them
that are not necessarily about
them…
They may be displaced from
other places.

22. RESISTANCES
Remember to be aware of
anything that might block talking
in new a progressive ways.
Habits are hard to break- even
unhealthy ones- do you have one?

23. IMPACT ON YOU…
 Grief and Loss of a wish: Remember, Welcome to Holland
 The child’s tendency to try and recreate their old home in
your home
 Repetitions
 Inductions and contagions
 Acting out behaviors
 Manipulation: playing providers off each other
 Splitting, including Social workers and foster/kinship
placements
 Trying to get themselves rejected if that is the only
thing they have to control.

24. WHY DO THIS WORK?
Only work that
promotes growth and
ego development in
both patient [or
student] and therapist
[teacher/parent] is
worth what [it] costs
both to do.
- Margaret Little

25. JUST ANOTHER ZANY IDEA FROM WILLIAM …
READ TO KIDS…
FAIRY TALES AND FANTASY
 If internal pressure is too much, it has to
get out of the child.
 If a child is told only “real” stories – he
may fail to get pleasure from unconscious
fantasy and either avoid all inner life or
totally engage in his head- Bettelheim,
p66 The Uses of Enchantment

26. BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONS
It starts with you… they don’t have the skills,
modeling, etc.

27. GREENSPAN WRITES (1998)
The ability to deal with group dynamics help children
to develop cognitive and social skills valuable in
school and beyond.
They learn that most life operates in shades of grey,
not all or nothing extremes.
(pg 25, The Challenging Child)

28. MUCH NEEDED! SKILL
DEVELOPMENT
 Ability to look, listen, be calm
 Relate (to feel closeness)
 Emotional Ideas- learning to use words; “I
am angry” as opposed to hitting or
withdrawing.
 Understanding and using non-verbal cues.
Use your own strength’s here…
Work on your weaknesses!

29. EXPLORATION WITH THE CHILD
 Listening does not mean agreeing!
 Object oriented questions
 Avoid YOU, use I or talk to the universe
 Share your adult ego with those who are thin
skinned.
 Ask what you are supposed to do when…
Read up on Active Listening…

30. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH APATHY?
 Much of what we said really applies to apathy.
 DECIDE on your atmosphere and tenor
 TALK about it with peers and then the class
 ADDRESS apathy.

31. REMEMBER: PREVENTION
STRATEGIES
 Talk vs Action!
 Identify triggers (what’s hardest for you is the
most needed in toughest situations.)
 Decreasing tension- containment and holding-
aggression for destruction OR construction.

32. PREVENTION CONTINUED
 Appropriate language – where they are at, one
step behind, or one step ahead
 Respect- Modeled and enacted
 Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
 You can be friendly, you can not be their friend

33. GOALS OF ENGAGEMENT
Join their perceptions to get a better
understanding of the
communication.
Remember, you are in charge and
just because you are listening to
them doesn’t mean you agree with
them.

34. HOW DO I USE ANGER?
(*MINE AND THEIRS)
Training, Supervision, Therapy
Meet them where they are.
Be the mature adult.
Never work harder than them!
Optimal Frustration is the key to change.

35. THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION
 Picture the brain! Rational and Emotional.

36. RESOURCES
Interested in taking a Myer-Briggs type test:
 http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
Good books for teachers
Reaching the Unreachable Child, Shelia Zaretsky
Emotional Muscle, John and Kerry Novick (ages 0-
5, but it applies! )

37. RESOURCES CONTINUED
GOOD BOOKS ON ADOLESCENT
DEVELOPMENT
Highly recommend:
Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me
and Cheryl to the Mall?: A Parent's Guide to the
New Teenager.
How talk so your teen will listen.
Good as well:
I’d listen to my parents if they’d just shut up.
When we are in public, pretend you don’t know me.
Trust me mom, everyone is is going
Yes, Your Teen is Crazy
I’m not mad, I just hate you.

38. THEORETICAL BUT GOOD
Modern Psychoanalysis in the Schools, William
Kirman
Resolving Resistances, Leslie Rosenthal

39. SOMETHING I LIKE TO REVIEW
NOW AND THEN ABOUT THE LD
CHILD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4f4rX0XEBA&feature=re
Have you ever told someone to look at something
harder? How about bribing them instead of
intervening to help? How about threatening them
when the bribe didn’t work? Have you ever
blamed the victim (“you are not
trying”/motivated)?

40. 2 OF 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01tGtFQ0Ivs&feature=rela
If you were learning disabled, do you see how you
might avoid taking risks? Do you see how lack of
reinforcement for the right answer and
punishment for the wrong answer can lead you to
not wanting to respond to surprises in class?

41. 3 OF 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G9--hUQDwY
Fair and Equal? Have you ever used the “its not
fair to others” argument to not help someone who
needed something?

42. DR WILLIAM SHARP
 617 216 3871
 DrWilliamSharp@gmail.com
 1581 Beacon St., Brookline MA 02150
Anne McCauley, Director
 School Based Counseling
 AmcCauley@bostoninstitute.org

43. PRESCRIPTION PAD
TEACHER: _______________
Authorized to:
__ join with a resistance instead of fight it
__ try something new when all regular methods
have failed.
__ get angry and be human as needed
Prescribing therapist: _____________________
William Sharp, PsyaD