Dr. Rick Goodman shares some winning strategies for dealing with difficult people in life and business. For more information visit www.rickgoodman.com and www.advantagecontinuingeducationseminars.com

1. S
Winning Strategies for
Dealing with Difficult
People
By Dr. Rick Goodman, CSP

2. Why is It Important to Deal with Difficult
People?
In a study performed by the Financial
Institution Marketing Association ( FIMA ) it
was discovered That 25% of customers had
expressed a complaint in The previous 12
months.

3. Establishing Rapport
"People do business with people who
they like who are like them.”
- Dr. Rick Goodman

4. Upset Customers Don’t Come Back
A recent study showed that buyers stop buying from
a particular business for the following reasons:
S 1% Die (not much you can do about that)
S 3% Move Away
S 5% Form Other Interests
S 9% For Competitive Reasons
S 14% Due To Product Dissatisfaction
S 68% Because Someone Was Rude, Indifferent, or
Discourteous To Them

5. Do You Want Your Customers
to Complain?
S If a Customer Complains They are More
Likely to Comeback.
S The Act of Complaining Can Actually
Increase Customer Loyalty.

6. Unhappy Customers Who Will
Buy from You Again
S No Complaint: 37% (63% won’t come back)
S Complaint Not Resolved: 46% (54% won’t come
back)
S Complaint Resolved: 70% (30% won’t come back)
S Complaint Resolved Quickly: 95% (only 5% won’t
come back)
S % Of Customers with Major Cause for Complaint
(over $100.00 losses) who will buy from you again.

7. Conflict is Inevitable
S Being able to constructively handle
disagreements is central to personal
satisfaction and getting along in an
organization.
S It is considered one of the more difficult
communication skills to master, because
most people find it extremely stressful.

8. Conflict is Good
S Commitment to organizational goals is desirable and
two different opinions can often lead to a better,
more clearly defined purpose when people are
willing to work through conflict.
S It can be challenging and stimulating to work to
improve the quality of decisions products processes
and overall understanding.

9. Conflict is Good
S Conflict that is not addressed on the other
hand is destructive. It can lead to lower
productivity and poor relationships.
S The better we develop skills to manage
conflict, the better we contribute to the
overall health of the organization.

10. The Ingredients of Conflict

11. Values
S Values or beliefs or principles, we considered to
be very important.
S Serious conflicts arise when people hold
incompatible values, or when the values are not
very clear.
S Conflicts also arise when one refuses to accept
the fact that the other party holds something as
a value rather than a preference.

12. Feelings and Emotions
S Many people let their feelings and emotions
become a major influence over how they deal
with conflict.
S Conflicts could also occur because people
ignore their own or others’ feelings and
emotions.
S Other conflicts occur when feelings and
emotions differ over a particular issue.

13. Taking Ownership of Your
Feelings
Taking ownership of your personal feelings
requires accepting responsibility for all that
occurs in your life.

14. Foundation for Understanding
Conflict
S In dealing with customers or other types of
relationships, it is important to let go of whatever
you believe other people have done to you,
whatever you think you’ve done to them.
S The resentment you feel towards someone or
the organization will block you from finding
peacefulness.

15. Foundation for Understanding
Conflict
S When you get caught up in the feelings
associated resentment it sets you up for conflict
with the world.
S Resentment slows down the process of relieving
the feelings of frustration, conflict, hurt, and
anger.
S Affixing blame in a customer service situation is
a waste of time and energy. Instead, use your
energy to seek a solution.

16. Instant Unconditional
Forgiveness
The ability to forgive yourself and
others lets you begin to see yourself
and others as blameless!

17. Five-Step Model for Managing
Conflict
S Analyze the Conflict
S Determine the Management Strategy
S Pre-Negotiation
S Negotiation
S Post-Negotiation

18. Step One: Analyze the Conflict
S The first step in managing conflict is to
analyze the nature and type of conflict.
S This is achieved by the technique of asking
open-ended questions.

19. Step Two: Determine
Management Strategy
S When you have a general understanding of
the conflict. The groups involved will need to
analyze and select the most appropriate
approach.
S In some cases it may be necessary to have a
neutral facilitator to help move the group
towards consensus.

20. Conflict Management Styles
Collaboration
S This results from a high concern for the group’s
own interests, matched with a high concern for
the interests of other partners.
S The outcome is win-win.
S This strategy is generally used when the
concern for others is important.

21. Collaboration
S It is also the best strategy when society’s
interest is at stake.
S This approach helps build commitment and
reduce bad feelings.
S The drawbacks are that it takes time and energy.
S Is regarded as the best approach.

22. Compromise
S This results from a high concern for the group’s
own interests, along with a moderate concern for
the interests of other partners.
S The outcome is some win and some lose.
S This strategy is generally used to achieve
temporary solutions, to avoid destructive power
struggles or when time is limited.

23. Compromise
S One drawback is that partners can lose sight
of important values and long-term objectives.
S This approach could also distract the
partners from the merits of the issue and
create a cynical climate.

24. Competition
S This strategy results from a high concern for
the group’s own interests with less concern
for others.
S The outcome is win/ lose.
S The strategy includes most attempts at
bargaining.

25. Accommodation
S This results from a low concern for the group’s
own interests, combined with a high concern for
the interest of others.
S The outcome is a lose/win.
S This strategy is generally used when the issues
are more important to others than to oneself.

26. Accommodation
S It is a gesture of goodwill.
S It is also appropriate when you recognize that
you are wrong.
S The drawbacks are that one’s own ideas and
concerns don’t get attention
S You may also lose credibility and future
influence.

27. Avoidance
S This results from a low concern for the group’s
own interests coupled with a low concern for the
interests of others.
S The outcome is lose/lose.
S The strategy is generally used when the issue is
trivial or other issues are more pressing.

28. Avoidance
S It is also used when confrontation has a high
potential for damage or more information is
needed.
S One of the drawbacks is that important
decisions may be made by default.

29. Take Advantage of Your
Natural Style
If you are competing:
S Let go of your position for a moment. Think
about what the other person needs and wants.
S Work with others to identify underlying concerns
and issues.
S Consider all the options, and how all the parties
stand to benefit from each one.

30. Take Advantage of Your
Natural Style
If you are accommodating or avoiding
S Focus on your own concerns. What are your needs
and goals?
S Give yourself time to gather data that support your
case—your goals and the reasons they matter.
S If you sense that a confrontation is brewing, don’t
just give up. Objectively present your point of view
while providing data to support it.

31. Take Advantage of Your
Natural Style
If you are compromising
S Slow down. Don’t always choose the
fastest solution. Take your time to find
alternatives that really work for everyone.

32. Take Advantage of Your
Natural Style
If you are collaborating
S Make your thinking explicit when you’re at
the table. Help your colleagues
understand how you work with others to
find solutions that benefit everyone.

33. Why do Customers Get
Upset?

34. Upset People Have Little
Patience
S Reasons Customers Become Upset
S Action I Can Take To Help

35. Avoidable Upsets
S You or someone was promised something that
wasn’t delivered.
S You or someone in the organization was
indifferent, rude or discourteous
S The customer feels you or someone in your
organization had an unpleasant attitude
S The customer doesn’t feel listened to.

36. Avoidable Upsets
S The client was told they had no right to be upset
S The customer was given a smart or flip reply
S The client is embarrassed at doing something
incorrectly
S The clients integrity or honesty has been
questioned
S You or someone in your organization argued
with the customer

37. Communication Skills for
Calming Upset Clients
There are different ways that you can have an influence on
an upset individual
Nonverbal
Communication:
S Facial Expression
S Body Posture
S Movement
S Gestures
S Touching
S Chewing Gum or Eating
S Voice Tone
S Sighing
S Cursing

38. Verbal Communication That
Makes a Difference
S Keep it Personal
S Use “I” instead of “You”
S Avoid Giving Orders
S Take Responsibility
S Avoid Causing Defensiveness

39. Listening Habits
Most people have poor listening habits and make common
mistakes when communicating here are a number to
avoid:
S Criticizing the Speaker and Delivery
S Listening Only for Facts and Not for
S Feelings
S Not Taking Notes or Trying to Write Down Everything
S Faking Attention
S Tolerating or Creating Distractions

40. Listening Habits
S Biases and Prejudices
S Not Facing the Upset Person
S Not Checking that You Have Been Understood
S Tuning Out Difficult or Confusing Information
S Letting Emotional Words Block the Message
S Interrupting or Finishing the Other Person’s
Sentences

41. Using The Three F’s
S Feel
S Felt
S Found

42. Step-By-Step Guidelines
When your dealing with an upset customer the
following steps are helpful
1. Verbally Cushion the Customers
Concerns
2. Use the Three F’s
3. Apologize for the Situation
4. State You Want Help

43. Step-By-Step Guidelines
5. Probe for More Information
6. Repeat Their Concern to Make Sure You
have Understood
7. Show You Value Their Patronage
8. Explain Options or Ask What They Would
Like to Have Happen
9. Summarize Actions to be Taken- Yours and
Theirs and End Pleasantly

44. Throughout the Meeting:
S Listen
S Face The Customer
S Look Him / Her in the Eye
S Adopt a Concerned Body Posture, Voice Tone,
and Facial Expression

45. Throughout the Meeting:
S Avoid Fight Starters
S Avoid a Condescending Attitude or Impatient Tone
S Have and Show Empathy
S Eliminate Distractions
S Practice Patience
S Use a Pleasant Tone of Voice
S Don’t Take Things Personally

46. After The Customers Gone
S Review the Incident
S Don’t Take it Personally
S Don’t Bore Your Coworkers

47. Dr. Rick Goodman
S Email: Rick@RickGoodman.com
S Phone: 786 402 2140
S Website: www.RickGoodman.com