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SAM UGO ONYEKA, Ph.D, D.D, fcai, mnim, fcilrm,
JP
(Consultant, HR/Organization Development &
Management)
Training Facilitator
2020 Administrative
Professionals
Training Powered
By ICAD:
www.icad.org.ng
TOPIC:
Strategies for
MANAGING DIFFICULT &
STICKY SITUATIONS
AT WORK
THEME:
Operational Skills & Competencies
for Administrative Personnel for
the Changed World of Risk
LEARNING OBJECTIVE
At the end of this
session, participants
should be able to
demonstrate the
understanding, skills
and confidence to
handle difficult and
sticky situations
more proactively,
effectively and with
sensitivity and
respect.
“Coming together
is a Beginning,
Keeping
together is Progress;
and
Working together
is Success”
– Henry Ford
TIP
We are all faced with challenges constantly in every area of our lives. Most people
have a hard time accepting and dealing with these challenges that arise. The truth
is that you will have to deal with difficult problems throughout your life, whether it is
in your personal life or career.
Some of us get really afraid and run away from problems because
we don’t want to accept reality the way it is.
Running away from your problems is the worst thing you can do to
deal with the challenges you are faced with.
Part of your success and happiness at work depends on your
ability to effectively negotiate problems.
Resolving difficult and sticky situations improves relationships,
builds respect and self esteem; yours and theirs.
Start now and develop the self-discipline to practice the points
below:
Introduction:
TRIGGERS OF DIFFICULT AND STICKY SITUATIONS
Difficult
situations
can occur at
work for a
variety of
reasons.
These
include:
People’s behaviour
Our own behaviour
Conflict of interest
Unexpected
circumstances
1. STRESS
Feelings of stress are caused by the
body's instinct to defend itself. This
instinct is good in emergencies,
such as getting out of the way of a
speeding car.
But stress can cause unhealthy
physical symptoms if it goes on for
too long, such as in response to
life's daily challenges and changes.
When this happens, it is as
though your body gets ready to
jump out of the way of the car,
but you're sitting still.
Your body is working
overtime, with no place to
put all the extra energy.
• anxious,
• afraid,
• worried and
• uptight.
This can make you
feel:
Two central goals to today’s
lifestyle are:
• To do as much as possible.
• To do it quickly.
The Big Question:
• How often do we observe others or
ourselves, for that matter, rushing to
complete a dozen different activities at the
same time?
• When will it be done?
• Can it be ready sooner?
• I don’t think I will have time to …
• Don’t you realize how long we’ve waited?
• Excuse me, but I’m in a hurry!
• Late again?
• Can’t you see that I have a million things to
do?
• Can’t you see that I must finish this today?
• Can’t you see that I have only 20 minutes to
finish this?
• I’m sorry but I have to go…
The supposed need to accomplish
many things produces a false
sense of urgency.
It pushes one to work faster and
faster.
Most people:
• Eat in a hurry.
• Quickly move from place to place.
• Travel many miles each year at high speed.
• Change jobs frequently.
• Change houses & cars often.
Unfortunately, at the end of it all,
we can say:
• it was worth it.
• Much of life has been lived without
enjoyment and weighed down by
stress.
• Relationships have suffered.
• Physical health has deteriorated.
• Mental health suffered resulting
consequences.
STRESS:
IS:
The body’s reaction
to a demand.
A state of severe
physiological &
psychological tension.
Preparation for fight
or flight.
The beginning of a
number of diseases.
• Necessarily bad
since, at times, it
helps the person
reach desired
goals.
• Anxiety.
• Fear.
• The direct cause
of disease
although it
frequently
contributes to its
development.
IS
NOT:
2. CULTURAL AND
RELIGIOUS DIVERSITY
What do we
mean by the
terms religion &
culture?
Where can we
see examples of
religion &
culture at work?
How do religious
& cultural
factors impact
on our ability to
live together?
3. COMMUNICATION
PROBLEMS
Not truly listening.
Assuming you know the message before the person finishes.
Interrupting the speaker.
Using YOU statements instead of I statements.
Letting your emotions dictate your response.
Failing to account for cultural differences in communication.
Misinterpreting the message.
Being indirect.
Attacking character rather than behavior.
Avoiding difficult conversations.
4. UNFOUNDED FEARS OR FEAR
OF KNOWN THINGS
WHY DO PEOPLE FEAR THE UNKNOWN?
Human cannot
define something
they have not
experienced.
Thoughts &
actions are based
on experience.
Inability to
categorize
thoughts &
actions.
Inability to take risks
because of their
unknown
consequences,
which can be
negative.
Absence of self-
confidence.
Fear of changes
and its
consequences.
In-born
(from birth).
5. PESSIMISTIC APPROACH/PERSONALITY
ISSUES
6. DISTRUST ON OTHERS OR SUSPICIOUS NATURE AND
GOSSIPS
•“The less you support negative talk, the less it will occur around you.”
7. OVER EXPECTATION/FAULTY ASSUMPTIONS
EFFECTS OF IMPROPERLY MANAGED
DIFFICULT & STICKY SITUATION
Low productivity/performance:
Loss of confidence:
Loss of job
LOW
PRODUCTIVITY:
 Low
productivity/
performance:
This has a
number of
negative impacts
on a workplace –
from economic
effects to effects
on profitability
to systemic
implications for
workers’ morale.
How to Solve Low Productivity:
Track & limit how much time you spend
on each task.
Take regular breaks.
Set self-imposed deadlines.
Follow the “two-minute rule”
Say no to some meetings.
Hold standing meetings.
Quit multitasking.
Use your free time to treat some
important matters.
Waste no time chasing after illusion.
LOSS OF CONFIDENCE
Confidence is freedom from doubt; belief in yourself & abilities.
Possible Causes of Loss of Confidence:
Unhappy childhood experience.
Extreme criticism.
Poor academic / job performance.
On-going stressful life event such as relationship breakdown or
financial problem.
Solutions:
Check out all those who think you are awesome.
Acknowledge the things that destroyed your confidence.
Remember who you were.
Have your goals written down.
Take yourself away from toxic situations/people.
Turn to your mentors.
Fake it till you make it.
Understand
WHAT TO DO AT THE
LOSS OF YOUR JOB:
File for unemployment.
Check on health insurance
options.
Figure out what to do with
your retirement plan.
Work on a personal
determined budget.
Sign up for 30 days to a new
job.
Google yourself.
Clean up your social media
account.
Revamp your resume.
File for unemployment.
Check on health insurance options.
Figure out what to do with your
retirement plan.
Work on a personal determined
budget.
Sign up for 30 days to a new job.
Google yourself.
Clean up your social media
account.
Revamp your resume.
3 CS STRATEGIES FOR RESOLVING
DIFFICULT & STICKY SITUATIONS
Change is in you.
Compassion for the other person. Curiosity about
everything.
 Situation/Task:
Describe the challenging situation/task that you
needed to deal with.
 Action:
What action(s) did you take to remedy things?
Be specific.
 Results:
What were the results of your action(s)?
What would have happened if you hadn’t reacted
that way?
1. DISCUSS IT
Establish a
dialogue &
negotiate
2. LIVE BY EXAMPLE
- BE A GOOD LISTENER
Powerful technique to master in any kind of dispute is to
empathize with the feelings and views of the other individual
by managing what we express – both verbally and non-
verbally.
3. BE TOLERANT &
OFTENTIMES REPETITIVE
4. BE OBJECTIVE, NOT SUBJECTIVE
5. SET CODE OF CONDUCT/
BEHAVIOURAL RULES AND STANDARDS
6. GET RID OF WORRIES,
TENSIONS & SUFFERINGS
7. STOP ANALYZING & START DOING
Trying to predict which
coworker is aligning
with who, who the
boss is favoring & why
we find ourselves in
difficult situations.
Attempt to give the
mind something useful
to work on can bring
freedom from the
difficult work
situations.
A little
Progress
Each day
Adds up
To big
Results.
NOTE
Conflict is the
lifeblood of high
performing
organizations.
Disputes, disagreements
and diverse points of view
about strategy and
implementation: create
energy.
Expect that difficult
situations will take time
to resolve – if you feel
rushed, ask to meet at a
later, specific time.
• bring about change.
• stimulate creativity.
• help form strongly
bonded teams in full
alignment.
CONCLUSION
The truth is that we can use well managed conflict
to bring enormous benefits to people and
organizations.
In fact, conflict management is often one of the
biggest drivers of change.
Properly handled, it can help people to be more
innovative and can create stronger bonds, build
effective teams and improve performance.
The key is to openly face an issue and negotiate a
win-win outcome.
CONCLUSION:
Finally,
there’s
a gift
within
you.
Find it.
Make it work.
Make a living and a difference in your life,
your world and that of others from it.
What we have done for ourselves
alone dies with us.
What we have done for others
and the world remains.
A WORD OF CAUTION
Too many
people do not
live their
dreams
because they
are living their
fears.
How about
you?
THE END!
dronyekaugosam02@gmail.com
08038673896
PRE-TEST: EXERCISES & GROUP WORK
Sticky Situation No. 1:
Your boss frequently loses his temper and yells at you and even calls
you names in front of your co-workers.
How to Deal:
Discuss your boss’ behavior openly with him.
Ask your boss if he can identify examples of things you do that trigger
his temper “So you can determine whether you’re making mistakes or if
your boss is yelling at you for no reason.”
If a discussion with your boss does not lead to change, you’ll need to
decide if you want to join your co-workers’ code of silence or voice your
concerns to a supervisor.
Sticky Situation No. 2:
You receive your annual bonus and you found out that it’s
significantly lower than your boss has verbally promised.
How to Deal:
Discuss the matter with your boss before jumping to any
conclusions.
If your boss can provide a reasonable answer - good:
• perhaps the company is going through difficult times and bonuses
are lower than expected across the board. It might be best to
overlook the discrepancy.
• But if you still feel you are owed a larger bonus, you will need
to decide whether it’s worth rocking the boat before going
above your boss’ head to resolve the matter or not.
PRE-TEST: EXERCISES & GROUP WORK
SAM UGO ONYEKA, Ph.D, D.D, fcai, mnim, fcilrm,
JP
(Consultant, HR/Organization Development &
Management)
Training Facilitator
Institute of Corporate Administration
dronyekaugosam02@gmail.com +234-803-867-3896
Instruction: Take a piece of paper, quickly write
down the answers to the questions below in bullet
points preparatory to explain the points in two
minutes.
1. Your boss frequently loses his temper and yells at
you and even calls you names in front of your co-
workers.
2. You receive your annual bonus and you found out
that it’s significantly lower than your boss has
verbally promised.
PRE-TEST:
2 EXERCISES / GROUP WORK

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Managing Difficult and Sticky Situations At Work

  • 1. SAM UGO ONYEKA, Ph.D, D.D, fcai, mnim, fcilrm, JP (Consultant, HR/Organization Development & Management) Training Facilitator 2020 Administrative Professionals Training Powered By ICAD: www.icad.org.ng TOPIC: Strategies for MANAGING DIFFICULT & STICKY SITUATIONS AT WORK THEME: Operational Skills & Competencies for Administrative Personnel for the Changed World of Risk
  • 2. LEARNING OBJECTIVE At the end of this session, participants should be able to demonstrate the understanding, skills and confidence to handle difficult and sticky situations more proactively, effectively and with sensitivity and respect.
  • 3. “Coming together is a Beginning, Keeping together is Progress; and Working together is Success” – Henry Ford TIP
  • 4. We are all faced with challenges constantly in every area of our lives. Most people have a hard time accepting and dealing with these challenges that arise. The truth is that you will have to deal with difficult problems throughout your life, whether it is in your personal life or career. Some of us get really afraid and run away from problems because we don’t want to accept reality the way it is. Running away from your problems is the worst thing you can do to deal with the challenges you are faced with. Part of your success and happiness at work depends on your ability to effectively negotiate problems. Resolving difficult and sticky situations improves relationships, builds respect and self esteem; yours and theirs. Start now and develop the self-discipline to practice the points below: Introduction:
  • 5. TRIGGERS OF DIFFICULT AND STICKY SITUATIONS Difficult situations can occur at work for a variety of reasons. These include: People’s behaviour Our own behaviour Conflict of interest Unexpected circumstances
  • 6. 1. STRESS Feelings of stress are caused by the body's instinct to defend itself. This instinct is good in emergencies, such as getting out of the way of a speeding car. But stress can cause unhealthy physical symptoms if it goes on for too long, such as in response to life's daily challenges and changes. When this happens, it is as though your body gets ready to jump out of the way of the car, but you're sitting still. Your body is working overtime, with no place to put all the extra energy. • anxious, • afraid, • worried and • uptight. This can make you feel:
  • 7. Two central goals to today’s lifestyle are: • To do as much as possible. • To do it quickly. The Big Question: • How often do we observe others or ourselves, for that matter, rushing to complete a dozen different activities at the same time? • When will it be done? • Can it be ready sooner? • I don’t think I will have time to … • Don’t you realize how long we’ve waited? • Excuse me, but I’m in a hurry! • Late again? • Can’t you see that I have a million things to do? • Can’t you see that I must finish this today? • Can’t you see that I have only 20 minutes to finish this? • I’m sorry but I have to go… The supposed need to accomplish many things produces a false sense of urgency. It pushes one to work faster and faster. Most people: • Eat in a hurry. • Quickly move from place to place. • Travel many miles each year at high speed. • Change jobs frequently. • Change houses & cars often. Unfortunately, at the end of it all, we can say: • it was worth it. • Much of life has been lived without enjoyment and weighed down by stress. • Relationships have suffered. • Physical health has deteriorated. • Mental health suffered resulting consequences.
  • 8. STRESS: IS: The body’s reaction to a demand. A state of severe physiological & psychological tension. Preparation for fight or flight. The beginning of a number of diseases. • Necessarily bad since, at times, it helps the person reach desired goals. • Anxiety. • Fear. • The direct cause of disease although it frequently contributes to its development. IS NOT:
  • 9. 2. CULTURAL AND RELIGIOUS DIVERSITY What do we mean by the terms religion & culture? Where can we see examples of religion & culture at work? How do religious & cultural factors impact on our ability to live together?
  • 10. 3. COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS Not truly listening. Assuming you know the message before the person finishes. Interrupting the speaker. Using YOU statements instead of I statements. Letting your emotions dictate your response. Failing to account for cultural differences in communication. Misinterpreting the message. Being indirect. Attacking character rather than behavior. Avoiding difficult conversations.
  • 11. 4. UNFOUNDED FEARS OR FEAR OF KNOWN THINGS
  • 12. WHY DO PEOPLE FEAR THE UNKNOWN? Human cannot define something they have not experienced. Thoughts & actions are based on experience. Inability to categorize thoughts & actions. Inability to take risks because of their unknown consequences, which can be negative. Absence of self- confidence. Fear of changes and its consequences. In-born (from birth).
  • 14. 6. DISTRUST ON OTHERS OR SUSPICIOUS NATURE AND GOSSIPS •“The less you support negative talk, the less it will occur around you.”
  • 16. EFFECTS OF IMPROPERLY MANAGED DIFFICULT & STICKY SITUATION Low productivity/performance: Loss of confidence: Loss of job
  • 17. LOW PRODUCTIVITY:  Low productivity/ performance: This has a number of negative impacts on a workplace – from economic effects to effects on profitability to systemic implications for workers’ morale. How to Solve Low Productivity: Track & limit how much time you spend on each task. Take regular breaks. Set self-imposed deadlines. Follow the “two-minute rule” Say no to some meetings. Hold standing meetings. Quit multitasking. Use your free time to treat some important matters. Waste no time chasing after illusion.
  • 18. LOSS OF CONFIDENCE Confidence is freedom from doubt; belief in yourself & abilities. Possible Causes of Loss of Confidence: Unhappy childhood experience. Extreme criticism. Poor academic / job performance. On-going stressful life event such as relationship breakdown or financial problem. Solutions: Check out all those who think you are awesome. Acknowledge the things that destroyed your confidence. Remember who you were. Have your goals written down. Take yourself away from toxic situations/people. Turn to your mentors. Fake it till you make it. Understand
  • 19. WHAT TO DO AT THE LOSS OF YOUR JOB: File for unemployment. Check on health insurance options. Figure out what to do with your retirement plan. Work on a personal determined budget. Sign up for 30 days to a new job. Google yourself. Clean up your social media account. Revamp your resume. File for unemployment. Check on health insurance options. Figure out what to do with your retirement plan. Work on a personal determined budget. Sign up for 30 days to a new job. Google yourself. Clean up your social media account. Revamp your resume.
  • 20. 3 CS STRATEGIES FOR RESOLVING DIFFICULT & STICKY SITUATIONS Change is in you. Compassion for the other person. Curiosity about everything.  Situation/Task: Describe the challenging situation/task that you needed to deal with.  Action: What action(s) did you take to remedy things? Be specific.  Results: What were the results of your action(s)? What would have happened if you hadn’t reacted that way?
  • 21. 1. DISCUSS IT Establish a dialogue & negotiate
  • 22. 2. LIVE BY EXAMPLE - BE A GOOD LISTENER Powerful technique to master in any kind of dispute is to empathize with the feelings and views of the other individual by managing what we express – both verbally and non- verbally.
  • 23. 3. BE TOLERANT & OFTENTIMES REPETITIVE
  • 24. 4. BE OBJECTIVE, NOT SUBJECTIVE
  • 25. 5. SET CODE OF CONDUCT/ BEHAVIOURAL RULES AND STANDARDS
  • 26. 6. GET RID OF WORRIES, TENSIONS & SUFFERINGS
  • 27. 7. STOP ANALYZING & START DOING Trying to predict which coworker is aligning with who, who the boss is favoring & why we find ourselves in difficult situations. Attempt to give the mind something useful to work on can bring freedom from the difficult work situations. A little Progress Each day Adds up To big Results.
  • 28. NOTE Conflict is the lifeblood of high performing organizations. Disputes, disagreements and diverse points of view about strategy and implementation: create energy. Expect that difficult situations will take time to resolve – if you feel rushed, ask to meet at a later, specific time. • bring about change. • stimulate creativity. • help form strongly bonded teams in full alignment.
  • 29. CONCLUSION The truth is that we can use well managed conflict to bring enormous benefits to people and organizations. In fact, conflict management is often one of the biggest drivers of change. Properly handled, it can help people to be more innovative and can create stronger bonds, build effective teams and improve performance. The key is to openly face an issue and negotiate a win-win outcome.
  • 30.
  • 31. CONCLUSION: Finally, there’s a gift within you. Find it. Make it work. Make a living and a difference in your life, your world and that of others from it. What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains.
  • 32. A WORD OF CAUTION Too many people do not live their dreams because they are living their fears. How about you?
  • 34. PRE-TEST: EXERCISES & GROUP WORK Sticky Situation No. 1: Your boss frequently loses his temper and yells at you and even calls you names in front of your co-workers. How to Deal: Discuss your boss’ behavior openly with him. Ask your boss if he can identify examples of things you do that trigger his temper “So you can determine whether you’re making mistakes or if your boss is yelling at you for no reason.” If a discussion with your boss does not lead to change, you’ll need to decide if you want to join your co-workers’ code of silence or voice your concerns to a supervisor.
  • 35. Sticky Situation No. 2: You receive your annual bonus and you found out that it’s significantly lower than your boss has verbally promised. How to Deal: Discuss the matter with your boss before jumping to any conclusions. If your boss can provide a reasonable answer - good: • perhaps the company is going through difficult times and bonuses are lower than expected across the board. It might be best to overlook the discrepancy. • But if you still feel you are owed a larger bonus, you will need to decide whether it’s worth rocking the boat before going above your boss’ head to resolve the matter or not. PRE-TEST: EXERCISES & GROUP WORK
  • 36. SAM UGO ONYEKA, Ph.D, D.D, fcai, mnim, fcilrm, JP (Consultant, HR/Organization Development & Management) Training Facilitator Institute of Corporate Administration dronyekaugosam02@gmail.com +234-803-867-3896
  • 37. Instruction: Take a piece of paper, quickly write down the answers to the questions below in bullet points preparatory to explain the points in two minutes. 1. Your boss frequently loses his temper and yells at you and even calls you names in front of your co- workers. 2. You receive your annual bonus and you found out that it’s significantly lower than your boss has verbally promised. PRE-TEST: 2 EXERCISES / GROUP WORK

Notas do Editor

  1. Cultivate your own garden