1. Taking Control – The Practicalities
Dennis Hoiberg
Consultant
03 96455200
0418 384 619
2. What I want to talk about
• What’s in it for you to take control?
• What is resilience?
• Developing a resilient mindset
• Listen to your “little voices”
• The art of making decisions
• The need for a Plan B
• Maintaining your energy levels
3. Some Quotes about taking
Control (1)
Your life is the sum result of all the
choices you make – both consciously and
unconsciously. If you can control the
process of choosing, you can take control
of your life. You can find the freedom that
comes from being in charge of yourself
Robert F. Bennett
4. Some Quotes about taking
Control (2)
“A desire to be in charge of our own lives,
a need for control, is born within each of
us. It is essential to our mental health,
and our success that we take control.”
Robert F. Bennett
5. Some Quotes about taking
Control (3)
“I’m more attracted to a stronger man rather
than a feminine man. Someone who would
just throw me down and take control. I love
feeling helpless. I definitely like a man who is
aggressive and confident.”
Carmen Electra
6. Key Messages for You
You have to learn to look after yourselves
You need to be resilient
You need a resilient mindset
Learn how to like yourself
Learn how to have a “good” processes to make
decisions – but that may not result in a “good”
decision.
There is no such thing as the “perfect decision”
7. What do we mean by resilience?
Resilience is – ‘bouncing back’:
The capacity to handle the challenges and opportunities of
work and life.
v Recognising the signs and symptoms for you that
indicate your resilience is slipping
v Knowing the best way to ride life’s ups and downs so
you stay well, feeling energised and in control
Stress is a symptom!
8. Why Resilience?
• Each year 1 in 5 Australians will experience a mental illness
• In 2006, 1402 males, 397 females died by suicide = 1799
deaths– that’s nearly 5 a day
• For every ‘successful’ suicide, there are thirty ‘unsuccessful’
suicide attempts (Possibility 200 Australians a day may be attempting suicide – MHCA
Press Release 28 July 2009)
• In the same period, 1,668 deaths by motor vehicle accidents
• Suicide accounted for nearly one-fifth of all deaths amongst
young men aged 20 to 34.
• The PBS indicates 4,000,000 prescriptions for anti-depressives
issued in 2006/07.
• Analgous to having a bad back in the 1980s.
• It all means we have to be resilient in “normal” life
http://www.mindframe-media.info/suicide/stats_qr.php
http://www.livingisforeveryone.com.au/IgnitionSuite/uploads/docs/LIFE_FactSheet3(1).pdf
9. What is a Resilient Mindset?
• Resilient individuals have a set of assumptions
or attitudes about themselves that influence
their behaviour and the skills they develop
• These behaviours and skills influence and
reinforces these assumptions and attitudes
• This set of assumptions becomes the mindset
10. A Resilient Mindset is
• Listening to the ‘little voice” – having a positive “voice”
• Being stress hardy rather than being “stressed out”
• Viewing life through the eyes of others
• Communicating effectively
• Having robust decision making mechanisms
• Accepting yourself and others
• Being connected and displaying compassion
• Dealing with mistakes
• Dealing well with success and knowing what you are
good at
• Following through and maintaining a resilient life
The Power of Resilience
Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein
12. BEING HUMAN
THE WELLBEING & RESILIENCE THERMOMETER
(2006 Dr Lynn McAtamney Telstra & Ingrid Ozols mh@work®)
Where are you?
www.mhatwork.com.au
13. So how are you feeling about yourself?
The Wellbeing & Resilience Thermometer
( Lynn McAtamney Telstra & Ingrid Ozols mh@work®)
THINK
I am having:
difficulty sleeping,
STOP
diarrhoea, constipation
GO
I often feel anxious, I feel great, alive, full of
tense neck, shoulder, jaw
irritable, nervous, teary, life. I am on top of life’s
frequent headaches
tired, steamrollered or challenges and
pounding heart
plain worn out for no pressures.
heartburn, wind, bloating or
reason or reasons with no I have good systems in
indigestion
control. place to pace myself.
a cold or bug that lingers
I struggle to concentrate My life is pretty balanced
outbursts
or make decisions. through a daily exercise
loss of patience
I am relying on caffeine, program, eating
no time for me
alcohol, drugs, pain killers healthily, weight under
people saying I am working
or smoking too much. control, not smoking and
too hard
My health is deteriorating having a few drinks on
I am slipping into using
and I see no way out. * the weekend only.
drugs, gambling, alcohol or
smoking to get through the
week
www.mhatwork.com.au
14. Learn how to make decisions
Define the problem
Gather facts
Identify options and alternatives
Evaluate the options and alternatives
Make a decision
Execute the decision
Learn the lessons of your decision
15. An example
Husband and wife team
Thinking about who gets use of the new car
She says He says
Do the school runs His work
Manage the house Has to take customers
around
Part time work
His community involvement
Community involvement
Take kids to sport
Etc
Etc
Etc
Etc
16. De Bono can be useful!
White Hat Objectivity – What are the facts
Red Hat Emotions – How do you feel
Black Hat The Critical – Why WON’T it work?
Yellow Hat Optimistic – Why it WILL work
Green Hat Creative – What are the alternatives
Blue Hat Process – Get your thinking
structured
17. Have a Plan B
What is the Risk Impact?
High
Take care!! BO TwH!!
Monitor
Mon Gather facts, ask
progress opinions,
Piecemeal
progress?
What are you Should this
waiting for? Enjoy decision be made?
the ride
Low
Low High
18. Maintain a Balanced Life
The Five Planks of Resilience
Plank Component Y/N Action Plan
< 3 months > 3 months
Medical •Physical
•Relationship
Connections •Family
•Work
•Community/Friends
Physical •Fitness
•Diet
Mental •Type of data
•Variety
Spiritual •Values
•What do you believe
•Belief gives hope
Copyright Lessons Learnt Consulting ®
