This talk was born, quite surprisingly, out of listening to Carrie Fisher talk about her struggle with addiction. What really resonated with me was when she talked about how she coped with her struggles by talking about them with others. “It creates community when you talk about private things and you can find other people that have the same things. Otherwise, I don’t know - I felt very lonely with some of the issues that I had or history that I had. And when I shared about it, I found that others had it, too.” – Carrie Fisher on Fresh Air with Terry Gross, 28 November 2016 At that moment, I decided I had to talk about my struggle with Impostor Syndrome. As I reflect on my life, I’ve identified Impostor Syndrome as a central theme. Over the years I’ve been terrified to raise my hand in class, speak up in meetings, file bug reports, and — especially — contribute to open source projects. I was constantly afraid that I’d be seen as a tragically uninformed dolt not worthy of the position I’ve been put in. So, most often, I kept quiet. Until recently, I had no idea what this feeling was and where it came from. I didn’t have a word for it until reading an article where Luke Kanies described these feelings and provided me with a name for it: Impostor Syndrome. Once I had a word for what I was feeling, I was finally able to understand it. I was able to identify ways to cope with it and learn about it and how other people handled it. This is my story of Impostor Syndrome and how I’ve coped with it and come to understand it as one of my biggest strengths; hopefully, it’ll help others do the same.

1. PRINCESS LEIA
AND OPEN SOURCE
A story of understanding and coping with
Impostor Syndrome
David Danzilio

2. ABOUT ME
> Bostonian
> Cloud and Platform Automation
Manager at Kovarus
> Previously at Constant Contact,
Sandia National Laboratories, and a
few other places you've never heard
of
> Open source contributor to a number
of projects, mostly in the Puppet
ecosystem

3. It creates community when you talk about private
things...I felt very lonely with some of the issues that I
had or history that I had. And when I shared about it, I
found that others had it, too.
Carrie Fisher
© Riccardo Ghilardi

4. IMPOSTOR
SYNDROME

5. Dr. Pauline Rose Clance first described the impostor
phenomenon in the journal Psychotherapy in 1978

6. Clance focused her research on high achieving women at a
time when women made up a much smaller percentage of
the workforce

7. Further studies have shown that men and women
experience the impostor phenomenon at the same rate

8. FEELING LIKE AN
IMPOSTOR

9. UNQUALIFIED

10. I'm not good enough to be on the faculty here. Some mistake was
made in the selection process.
- A Professor interviewed by Dr. Clance

11. Obviously I'm in this position because my abilities have been
overestimated.
- A University Department Chairperson interviewed by Dr.
Clance

12. HIDING
SOMETHING

13. I was convinced that I would be discovered as a phony when I
took my comprehensive doctoral examination. I thought the final
test had come. In one way, I was somewhat relieved at this
prospect because the pretense would finally be over. I was
shocked when my chairman told me that my answers were
excellent and that my paper was one of the best he had seen in
his entire career.
- A Doctoral Student interviewed by Dr. Clance

14. Although my grades were fine, and I was there on a scholarship, I
was sure that my colleagues, professors, department and
University would find out that they had made a mistake; that
they shouldn’t have admitted me to grad school; that they
shouldn’t have given me a scholarship.
- Susan Weinschenk, Ph.D

15. AFRAID TO
SPEAK UP

16. It’s just been convincing myself that I’m worthy enough to be
able to tell these stories, you know?
- Issa Rae, Creator of HBO's Insecure

17. THE IMPOSTOR
CYCLE

19. WHO ARE THE
IMPOSTORS?

20. INTROVERTS

21. HIGH
PERFORMERS

22. KNOWLEDGE
WORKERS

23. MINORITIES

24. ARE YOU AN
IMPOSTOR?

25. PROBABLY NOT

26. I DEFINITELY AM
THOUGH

27. COPING WITH
IMPOSTOR
SYNDROME

28. IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
IS A
COGNITIVE BIAS

29. KNOWLEDGE IS
POWER

30. YOU'RE NOT
ALONE

31. TALK ABOUT IT

32. EMBRACE
IMPOSTOR
SYNDROME

33. EMBRACE BEING
A NOVICE

34. WATCH FOR
BURN OUT

35. MY STRUGGLE
WITH IMPOSTOR
SYNDROME

36. MY SYSADMIN
DAYS

37. BECOMING A
SOFTWARE
DEVELOPER

38. HEARING THE
TERM IMPOSTOR
SYNDROME

39. WHAT'S THIS
GOT TO DO
WITH OPEN
SOURCE?

40. CONTRIBUTING TO OPEN SOURCE
FORCED MEOUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

41. DAVID THE
PERFECTIONIST

42. I JOINED A
SUPPORTIVE
OPEN SOURCE
COMMUNITY

43. SHARING MY
EXPERIENCE

44. THE STRUGGLE
CONTINUES

45. THANK YOU!FIND ME ON:
> Twitter @djdanzilio
> GitHub danzilio
> ddanzilio (at) kovarus (dot) com
> blog.danzil.io

46. RECOMMENDED READINGTHE IMPOSTOR PHENOMENON IN HIGH ACHIEVING WOMEN, CLANCE AND IMES, PSYCHOTHERAPY, VOL.
15 NO. 3, 1978
THE IMPOSTOR PHENOMENON, SAKULUKU AND ALEXANDER, INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF
BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE, VOL. 6 NO. 1, 2011
THE IMPOSTOR PHENOMENON: RECENT RESEARCH FINDINGS REGARDING DYNAMICS, PERSONALITY
AND FAMILY PATTERNS AND THEIR IMPLICATIONS FOR TREATMENT, LANGFORD AND CLANCE,
PSYCHOTHERAPY, VOL. 30 NO. 3, 1999
THE IMPOSTOR PHENOMENON: AN INTERNAL BARRIER TO EMPOWERMENT AND ACHIEVEMENT,
CLANCE AND O'TOOLE, WOMEN & THERAPY, VOL. 6 NO. 3, 1987