1. Social Media and Online
SafetyThe impact of gaming, social media, and the internet on
today’s youth.
Dave Barry, LMFT

3. Logging In:
Naming the Problem

4. Logging In:
Naming the Problem
" What role do video games and social media play in your
household?
" What issues, if any, has your family had to deal with as
a result of gaming/social media/internet use?

5. Logging In:
Naming the Problem
I. Detrimental Effects of Too Much Screen Time
" Emotionally ("Facebook depression", loneliness)
" Socially (false sense of intimacy, quantity of
connections vs quality of connections)
" Physically (obesity, effects on developing brain,
addiction)
" Spiritually (technology idol, decreased moral
sensitivity, connecting with God’s creation)

6. Logging In:
Naming the Problem
II. Internet Safety Concerns (The former can affect the
latter...)
" Online Predators - Sexual, Financial/ID theft
" Cyber Bullying/Sexting(illegal for minors)
" Misuse and Misconceptions about online
"privacy"
" Exposure/Unlimited access to inappropriate
material
" Pornography -

7. Logging In:
Naming the Problem
Conclusion: It’s all new…
but it’s all the same.
“Since the dawn of teen culture,
adolescents have led lives apart,
but recent advances in
technology have given them a
whole new mode of asserting
their independence and
prospecting on their own”
– Jennifer Senior, All Joy and
No Fun

8. Logging In:
Naming the Problem
Conclusion: It’s all new…
but it’s all the same.
Key Difference:
The rapid technological
changes are hard for parents
to keep up with, but children
and adolescents (whose
brains are still developing and
amenable) can adjust to
these fast paced changes in
real time.

9. Logging In:
Naming the Problem
" Technological use by children tends to create an
inverted power structure
" The child may be the expert on how to work all devices in
the home
" “Parents live in a society that gives them a sense that their
kids have to give them permission to do things. Like
asking your child to friend you on Facebook.” Clay Shirky,
New-Media Philosopher, NYU.
" Passive vs. Active parental monitoring
" Family TV, Telephone vs. cell phones and Facebook

10. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media

11. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
" Statistics: Everyone
" APA: 97% of teens play some form of video games on a
daily basis for at least one hour
" 99% boys, 94% girls
" 2010: $25 Billion Industry – More than double of
Hollywood’s box office sales for that year

12. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
" Social Media Use

13. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
How do great students get
sidetracked by Facebook,
Twitter, and especially online
video games?

14. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
The Three Traps of Gaming
" The Incentive Trap
" The Escape Trap
" The Communal Trap

15. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
The Three Traps of Gaming
" The Incentive Trap
" Challenge and Reward
" Games provide a certain level of challenge, and players are
rewarded for their efforts
" Games provide tangible rewards
" Rewards also provide instant gratification

16. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
The Three Traps of Gaming
It can be argued that adolescents’ decision making is biased
more by motivational factors than by cognitively driven
calculations of outcome probabilities.
“In teens, the parts of the brain involved in emotional responses are
fully online, or even more active than in adults, while the parts of
the brain involved in keeping emotional, impulsive responses in
check are still reaching maturity. Such a changing balance might
provide clues to a youthful appetite for novelty, and a tendency to
act on impulse—without regard for risk.” – The Teen Brain: Still
Under Construction, National Institute of Mental Health

17. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media

18. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media

19. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
The Three Traps of Gaming
" The Escape Trap
" Avoiding Stressful Situations
" Coping Device / Self-Medicating
" "Safe" Acting Out in Fantasy (both harmless and deviant
behavior)
" The Infinite Domain in Gaming

20. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
The Three Traps of Gaming
" The Communal Trap
" Teens are Social Creatures
" Children are object focused. Teens are relationally focused
" Today’s games give players the opportunity to connect
with people both locally and globally

21. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
The Three Traps Applied to Social Media
" The Incentive and Escape Traps
" Dopamine boost every time a status update or instagram
photo is liked
" Mindlessly escaping into the news feed.
" Easy to develop alter ego, try on different
online personalities

22. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
" The Communal Trap
" Teen’s developmental task: Identity formation
" Sorting out who you are and how you operate in the world
around you
" Adolescence (12 to 18 years) Identity vs. Role Confusion.
Focus: Social Relationships - Teens need to develop a sense
of self and personal identity. Success leads to an ability to
stay true to yourself, while failure leads to role confusion and
a weak sense of self.

23. The Next Level: The Increasing
Allure of Gaming/Social Media
" Can students really get
addicted to video
games and what
happens to them when
they do?
" The Answer: Yes.
" The Nature of
Addiction
" Pleasure Chemicals
" Dopamine
" Chemical responses brought
about by substance abuse
are also occurring in a
number of behaviors, causing
behavioral addictions

24. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
The Task at Hand:
Teach moderation, responsibility, and
wise decision making in using technology.

25. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter

26. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
The Positive Aspects of Gaming
" How can video games, social media, and computer
mediated activities be used in positive ways to
enrich the learning experience?
" The Positive Aspects of Play
" “Erikson (1977) proposed that play contexts allow children to
experiment with social experiences and simulate alternative
emotional consequences, which can then bring about feelings
of resolution outside the play context” - The Benefits of
Playing Video Games. Isabela Granic

27. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
The Positive Aspects of Gaming
" Cognitive Impact
" Improved Spatial Skills
" Improved problem solving
" One does not regularly read a manual before starting a game
– one must problem solve through trial and error through the
game process
" Creativity
" Not found in other technology use (cell phone, internet)

28. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
The Positive Aspects of Gaming
" Motivational Impact
" Entity theory of intelligence vs. Incremental theory of intelligence
" “You’re such a smart boy” vs. “You worked really hard on that puzzle”
" Video games promote incremental theory through concrete and
immediate feedback
" Emotional Benefits
" Games can increase mood
" Puzzle games with easy accessibility (i.e. Angry Birds) can quickly
improve mood, promote relaxation, and ward off anxiety

29. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
The Positive Aspects of Gaming
" Growing Industry
" Child shows interest in working in video game design?
Encourage it. Arrange for a field trip to Electronic Arts, or
any other school or place of business that focuses on
video game production

30. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
" What should parents do if they feel their child is in
one of these situations?
" 3 Arrow Assessment of your child’s gaming/social media
use

31. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
" What should parents do if they feel their child is in
one of these situations?
" 3 Arrow Assessment of your child’s gaming/social media
use
" Upward pointing arrow: Great! Maintain gains, affirm
positive use
" Level Arrow: Look for areas of growth, and plan to achieve
goals
" Downward pointing arrow: Identify the problem and address
it directly

32. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
" What should parents do if they feel their child is in one
of the two latter situations?
" Look to the Mirror - what am I modeling?
" Teach Rhythms? / Establish Boundaries
" Where and When
" Dinner is Device Free
" Check Devices in at Bedtime
" Maintain Communication
" Teach Responsibility & Accountability Vs Relying on Content
Filters or Blocking Software (Psalm 101:3a, "I
will set before my eyes, no vile thing")

33. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
" What should parents do if they feel their child is in
one of these situations?
" Leverage the desire for community and relationship
" Power outage nights
" Student Leadership: Power Outage Groups – On campus
or community groups focusing on real life interactions and
relationship building

34. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
" What should parents do if they feel their child is in
one of these situations?
" Learn to Play and Relax
" While video game play and social media are leisure
activities, they often do not promote genuine rest

35. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
" Downward Arrow Example:
Is My Child a Texting/Phone Addict?
List of Symptoms from American Journal of Psychiatry:
" Excessive texting/SM surfing to the extent you lose track of time
" Feelings of withdrawal when your phone is not nearby that lead to
anger, tension and depression
" Negative treatment of those around you such as ignoring them/
getting into arguments over phone use
" Negative treatment of yourself such as losing sleep or forgetting
to eat.

36. Beating the Game:
Outcomes that Matter
" What should parents do if they feel their child is in
the last situation?
" Don't React and Unplug All Devices!
" Identify and address the deeper issue that is causing
an overuse of video games/social media (stress, peer
problems, academic struggles, etc)
" May Need Professional Help to Assess Addiction
" Connect with Support Network (Youth Pastor,
Teacher, Coach)

37. Bibliography and Resources
" A Parent's Guide to Understanding Social Media, Mark Oestreicher and Adam McLane
" All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, Jennifer Senior
" Brainstorm, Dan Siegel
" Taking Stock With Teens, Piper Jaffray (semi-annual survey of teens preferred social network usage)
" The Teen Brain: Still Under Construction http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-still-under-construction/
index.shtml
" The Benefits of Playing Video Games. Isabela Granic, Adam Lobel, and Rutger C.M.E. Engles. http://www.apa.org/pubs/
journals/releases/amp-a0034857.pdf
" Teen Facts Sheet (internet and social media use) http://www.pewinternet.org/fact-sheets/teens-fact-sheet/
" The Science of Addiction http://youtu.be/ukFjH9odsXw - informative and fun video explaining the nature of addiction
" That’s Not Cool http://www.thatsnotcool.com/ - Website for raising teen awareness on social media and internet safety
" Tech Savvy Parenting www.techsavvyparenting.com

38. Thank You!
" Please feel free to contact us for follow up or for a free
phone, or in office consultation.
Dave Barry, LMFT
650-570-7273 x.003
davebarrymft@gmail.com
1510 Fashion Island Blvd. Suite #110
San Mateo, CA 94404