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PROFESSIONAL
ETIQUETTES
Professional Etiquette .
What is Etiquette?
 “The forms and practices prescribed by
social convention or by authority.”
 “The code of polite behavior in a society.”
(Oxford Reference Dictionary)
 “The conduct or procedure required by
good breeding or prescribed by authority to
be observed in social or official life.”
Etiquette
 Etiquette is about presenting yourself with
the kind of polish that shows you can be
taken seriously.
 It's a code of conduct, a method for dealing
with how people interact with each other --
based on respect and accepted norms of
behavior.
Set of customs,formal governing rules, which are
Socially acceptable for polite behavior in society or
particular profession.
Etiquette ?
Professional etiquette - must for Career
builds leadership, quality, business & careers
It refines skills needed for exceptional service
Why Etiquette is required ?
Without Etiquette
• You limit your potential
• Risk your image
• Damage relationships
The Basics
 Be courteous, thoughtful and respectful to the
people around you.
 Respect everyone’s privacy.
 Avoid raising your voice.
 Avoid using harsh or derogatory language toward
anyone. (present or absent)
 Do cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
 Apologize when you step on toes.
 Avoid Interruptions.
 Always apologize if you must interrupt a
conversation, meeting, or someone’s concentration
on a task .
 Refrain from Gossip.
 Maintain your integrity.
 Keep your productivity high .
Body Language
 Good posture
 Eye contact
 Firm handshake
 Calm and composed
Dress/Appearance
 Wearing wrinkled, smelly or unkempt clothes
communicates disinterest.
 If in doubt, always err on the side of conservative.
 General Hygiene: Deodorant, brushed teeth, pleasant
breath
 Fit: It is important that clothing fits well and is
comfortable, pressed and clean.
 Shoes: Polished and in good condition. Heels should not
be worn out. No open toe shoes.
About People
 Visit and talk with people. Don’t differentiate by
position or standing within the company.
 Keep notes on people.
 Send cards or letters for birthdays or
congratulations of promotions or other events,
send flowers for engagements, weddings or in
condolence for the death of a loved one or family
member. People will remember your kindness,
probably much longer than you will!
Introductions
 The proper way to make an introduction is to introduce a
lower- ranking person to a higher-ranking person. For
example, if your CEO is Mrs. Jones and you are
introducing administrative assistant Jane Smith to her, the
correct introduction would be "Mrs. Jones, I’d like you to
meet Jane Smith."
 If you forget a person’s name while making an
introduction, don’t panic. Proceed with the introduction
with a statement such as, "I’m sorry, your name has just
slipped my mind.”
Appreciation
 Always pass along credit and compliments to
EVERYONE who made a contribution to the effort.
Speak well of your coworkers and always point out their
accomplishments to any interested party.
 Say "Please" and "Thank you"! This little courtesy is
vital to show respect. It makes people understand you
appreciate what they can do or have done for you.
Forgetting a basic courtesy such as a "please" or "thank
you" shows lack of appreciation and concern for others
which is disrespectful and degrading.
Social Settings
 Always carry business cards.
 Arrive at a party at the stated time or up to 30
minutes later.
Peers and Subordinates
 Impressing the boss isn’t enough rather building
and maintaining good relationships with peers and
subordinates is equally important
 showing respect and courtesy to everyone,
regardless of position/company
 Having a consistent demeanor improves one’s
credibility
Superiors/ Seniors
The only thing one owes a boss above and beyond
what one owes the peers and subordinates is:
 more information so that he or she knows what
one is doing, is alerted as early as possible to
issues that may arise, and is aware of outcomes
and milestones.
 speak well of him or her
Meetings
 If a subject is important enough to call a meeting, be
considerate of the participants’ time and ensure that it
is well prepared. Communicate beforehand-
The objective
The expected duration
Items expected to be discussed
 Be sure to THANK meeting members for their time
and participation
 Keep the rude/sarcastic comments to a minimum
Classroom Etiquettes
 Arrive in the Class on or before the scheduled time.
 Before entering, always take the permission from the
Professor present in the class-room/Lab.
 Addressing/ greeting the Professor Properly.
 Turn Off Your Cell Phone.
 Do Not Bring Food or Drink in the Class-room.
 Contribute to the Class Discussion When Appropriate.
 Avoid Side Conversations.
 Be Attentive in the Class.
 Stay for the Entire duration of the Class.
 Avoid Signaling, Sending Signs.
 Contact the Professor When You Have to Miss the Class.
Phone Etiquette
 Always return calls
 If you’re going to be out, have someone pick up your
calls or at a minimum, have your answering system tell
the caller when you’ll be back and then they can expect
a call back.
 When you initiate a call and get a receptionist or
secretary, identify yourself and tell them the basic
nature of your call
 Answer the phone with some enthusiasm or at least
warmth
 Personalize the conversation
 Don’t call repeatedly-give the others a chance to
respond
E-mail Etiquette
 Make the subject line specific
 Delete the extraneous information-keep it short
simple and coherent
 Address and sign your e-mails
 Don’t type in all caps. It’s too intense
Table Manners
Accessories
Purse/briefcase should be placed under the table or beside one’s
chair.
Cell phones and pagers should be turned off or on silent mode.
Avoid answering the phone at the dinner table.
Body Language
Have good posture and keep your feet flat on the floor.
Make eye contact with people at the table.
Avoid placing your elbows on the table.
Eat quietly with your mouth closed and try not to talk with your
mouth full.
Passing and Adding
Items on the table that are within easy reach can be picked up.
If you need to stretch across the table or rise to reach items, ask for
them to be passed to you instead of reaching yourself.
Food is usually passed in a counter clockwise direction
Do not eat too fast; pace yourself to finish your meal at the same time
as others.
Napkins
Once seated, unfold your napkin without snapping it in the air.
Place your napkin on your lap. Avoid tucking it into your belt, shirt or
collar.
Use your napkin frequently to blot your lips but do not blot your
mouth vigorously.
If you need to be excused from the table during the meal, place your
soiled napkin on your chair (avoid placing it back on the table as it is
unappetizing for others to see a soiled napkin on the table if they are
still eating).
Dining Etiquette
 When you are finished your meal, casually fold your
napkin and place it either: To the left of your dessert
plate if it is still on the table, or In the middle of your
place setting if the dessert plate has been removed.
 In today's competitive environment, dining etiquette is
an area of expertise that can be added to your list of
career and job search skills. Keep in mind that etiquette
rules are not commandments – learn the standards and
then apply them as you see it. These skills will not only
serve you well now, but also in the future.
Business Etiquettes in different
Countries
To be successful in business transactions , one should bear in mind business norms of
different countries as a host or guest for that country. Business manners for some
countries are given below:
1. Americans:
 Shaking hands during introduction is common.
 Business cards are exchanged only when required
 To be punctual.
 Prefer breakfast meetings to develop close business relations. Meetings over lunch.
 Its common to refer to people by their first name.
2. Europeans:
a. British: Share most of their culture with other Europeans. Formal in meetings and personal
style.
b. French: Speak in French with businessmen from other countries. Very cordial and greet by
shaking hands. Business men and women may kiss each other on meeting and parting.
c. Germans: Highly formal and punctual. Meetings are fixed well in advance.
Addressed by their surnames. Senior businessmen are shown respect by
sometimes being referred to as “Herr Doktor”. Similarly, businesswomen are
always addressed as “Frau”
d. Italian and Spanish: Consider business occasions as part of social life and hence
less formal than other Europeans. Meetings are more informal, so discussion
about personal welfare may precede the discussions.
e. Dutch: Speak English fluently. Most of them are polyglots(speaking and writing
several languages). They can conduct business in several languages. Relaxed.
3. The Japanese:
 Greet each other by shaking hands and not with a bow.
 Polite to offer and accept business cards with both hands.
 Maintains personal space, so physical contact is not desirable.
 Impolite to say ‘NO’.
 Giving gifts considered an important part of business. A gift has to be in keeping
with the status of the person. Gifts in pairs is considered lucky. (cufflinks or pen
and pencil set)
 Red cards are funeral notices, so red cards are not used for business.
4. Arabs:
 Stick to their traditional way of greeting, both as hosts and visitors, by saying “Salaam alaikum”
(Peace be upon you), accompanied by a firm handshake.
 To show greater warmth and closeness, Arab business people may embrace each other while placing
right hand on heart and the other hand on each other’s shoulders. They may also kiss on both
cheeks. Do not reciprocate, unless you are also an Arab.
 Not under time pressure. Meetings preceded by social pleasantries.
 Avoid discussions on religious and political matters.
 Extends lavish hospitality as hosts and expects the same as visitors to other countries.
 Gifts are part of hospitality.
 As tokens of gratitude for favors received, expensive gifts are presented and it is not looked upon as
bribe. It is accepted form of thanks giving.
 BUT never gift handkerchiefs as gifts, as they symbolize tears and parting.
5. Indians:
 Indian business culture is eclectic. Shaking hands at a meeting or parting is a common practice.
 Known for their hospitality. Visitors treated with utmost attention and respect.
 Business meetings are punctual, well-planned and formally conducted and protocol of seniority is
observed.
 In business discussions , juniors give precedence to their seniors and they have to wait for the signal
from their seniors to contribute.
 Business cards are exchanged while parting to indicate further contacts.
 Small gifts at the end of meeting is a gesture of goodwill.
 VIP’s are received by senior executives with bouquets. And are usually accompanied back to their
vehicle and duly seen off.
Social and business etiquette can be
tricky, and making the right moves
can make a big difference.
Take this quiz and see how you fare
in the following business situations.
My boss, Mr. Ambani, enters the
room when I am meeting with an
important client, Mr. Desai.
I rise and say "Mr.Ambani, I would
like you to meet Mr. Desai, our
client from Mumbai."
Is this introduction correct?
NO.
Introduce the more important
person first. You should address
your client and say
"Mr. Desai, I'd like you
to meet our Vice President of
Development, Mr.. Ambani.”
At a social function, I have meet
the CEO of an important
corporation.
After a brief chat, I give him
my business card.
Is this correct?
Don’t spoil his mood.
I am entering a cab with an
important client. I enter first
myself & asking the client to
seat on my left.
Is this correct?
YES !
When your client steps
out of the car, (s)he will be
on the sideway and therefore
won't have to deal with getting
out in traffic or sliding across the
seat.
I am in a restaurant and a thin
soup is served in a cup with no
handles. To eat it I should:
 A. Pick it up and drink it
 b. Use the spoon provided
 c. eat half of it with a spoon and
drink the remainder
B.
It's not a cup of coffee,
Use the spoon provided.
For heaven's sake. And don't
slurp,
I am at a table in a restaurant for a
business dinner. Midway through the
meal, I have called to the telephone.
What should I do with my napkin?
 a. Take it with me
 b. Fold and place it to the left of my
plate
 c. Loosely fold it and place it on the
right side
 d. Leave it on my chair
D.
Leave it on your chair.
Definitely don't put it on the
Table.
What if you have crumbs on it?
I am hosting a dinner party at a
restaurant. Included are me and my
Wife and my most valuable client and his
wife.
I instruct the waiter to:
 a. serve my spouse first
 b. serve my client's spouse first
 c. serve me and my spouse last
B .
 Sort of a trick question, but
this is important.
I am invited to a reception and the
invitation states "7:00 to 9:00 PM."
I should arrive:
 a. at 7:00 PM
 b. anytime between 7:00 PM and 9:00
PM
 c. between 7:00 PM and 7:30 PM
 d. go early and leave early
B or C.
 It's terribly impolite to arrive
early.
I am greeting or saying good-bye to
someone. When is the proper time
to shake their hand?
 a. When I am introduced
 b. At their home
 c. At their office
 d. On the street
 e. When I say good-bye
A, B, C, D, and E.
In other words, it's a formal in
etiquette to shake someone's
hand.
Make sure you have a firm (but
not painful) handshake for both
men and women.
I am talking with a group of four people.
With whom I should make eye contact.
a. with the person to whom I am
speaking at the moment
b. each of the four, moving your eye
contact from one to another?
c. no one particular person
(not looking directly into)
d. anyone's eyes.
C.
Make eye contact with all of the
individuals you're talking with.
When I greet a visitor in my office,
do I:
 a. say nothing and let him sit
where he wishes?
 b. tell him where to sit?
 c. say "Just sit anywhere"
B.
Indicating where your guest
should sit will make him feel
More comfortable.
I have forgotten a lunch with a business
associate. I feel terrible and know he's
furious. Do I:
 a. write a letter of apology?
 b. send flowers?
 c. keep quiet and hope he forgets about
it?
 d. call and set up another appointment?
D.
Call and set up another
appointment. And don't forget to
apologize for your error.
Imagine how you'd feel if it was
you!
Basic Etiquette
•Know first - Talk next
Thank you !

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LEC 21 Businessetiquettes.ppt

  • 3. What is Etiquette?  “The forms and practices prescribed by social convention or by authority.”  “The code of polite behavior in a society.” (Oxford Reference Dictionary)  “The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life.”
  • 4. Etiquette  Etiquette is about presenting yourself with the kind of polish that shows you can be taken seriously.  It's a code of conduct, a method for dealing with how people interact with each other -- based on respect and accepted norms of behavior.
  • 5. Set of customs,formal governing rules, which are Socially acceptable for polite behavior in society or particular profession. Etiquette ?
  • 6. Professional etiquette - must for Career builds leadership, quality, business & careers It refines skills needed for exceptional service Why Etiquette is required ? Without Etiquette • You limit your potential • Risk your image • Damage relationships
  • 7. The Basics  Be courteous, thoughtful and respectful to the people around you.  Respect everyone’s privacy.  Avoid raising your voice.  Avoid using harsh or derogatory language toward anyone. (present or absent)  Do cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.  Apologize when you step on toes.
  • 8.  Avoid Interruptions.  Always apologize if you must interrupt a conversation, meeting, or someone’s concentration on a task .  Refrain from Gossip.  Maintain your integrity.  Keep your productivity high .
  • 9. Body Language  Good posture  Eye contact  Firm handshake  Calm and composed
  • 10. Dress/Appearance  Wearing wrinkled, smelly or unkempt clothes communicates disinterest.  If in doubt, always err on the side of conservative.  General Hygiene: Deodorant, brushed teeth, pleasant breath  Fit: It is important that clothing fits well and is comfortable, pressed and clean.  Shoes: Polished and in good condition. Heels should not be worn out. No open toe shoes.
  • 11. About People  Visit and talk with people. Don’t differentiate by position or standing within the company.  Keep notes on people.  Send cards or letters for birthdays or congratulations of promotions or other events, send flowers for engagements, weddings or in condolence for the death of a loved one or family member. People will remember your kindness, probably much longer than you will!
  • 12. Introductions  The proper way to make an introduction is to introduce a lower- ranking person to a higher-ranking person. For example, if your CEO is Mrs. Jones and you are introducing administrative assistant Jane Smith to her, the correct introduction would be "Mrs. Jones, I’d like you to meet Jane Smith."  If you forget a person’s name while making an introduction, don’t panic. Proceed with the introduction with a statement such as, "I’m sorry, your name has just slipped my mind.”
  • 13. Appreciation  Always pass along credit and compliments to EVERYONE who made a contribution to the effort. Speak well of your coworkers and always point out their accomplishments to any interested party.  Say "Please" and "Thank you"! This little courtesy is vital to show respect. It makes people understand you appreciate what they can do or have done for you. Forgetting a basic courtesy such as a "please" or "thank you" shows lack of appreciation and concern for others which is disrespectful and degrading.
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  • 15. Social Settings  Always carry business cards.  Arrive at a party at the stated time or up to 30 minutes later.
  • 16. Peers and Subordinates  Impressing the boss isn’t enough rather building and maintaining good relationships with peers and subordinates is equally important  showing respect and courtesy to everyone, regardless of position/company  Having a consistent demeanor improves one’s credibility
  • 17. Superiors/ Seniors The only thing one owes a boss above and beyond what one owes the peers and subordinates is:  more information so that he or she knows what one is doing, is alerted as early as possible to issues that may arise, and is aware of outcomes and milestones.  speak well of him or her
  • 18. Meetings  If a subject is important enough to call a meeting, be considerate of the participants’ time and ensure that it is well prepared. Communicate beforehand- The objective The expected duration Items expected to be discussed  Be sure to THANK meeting members for their time and participation  Keep the rude/sarcastic comments to a minimum
  • 19. Classroom Etiquettes  Arrive in the Class on or before the scheduled time.  Before entering, always take the permission from the Professor present in the class-room/Lab.  Addressing/ greeting the Professor Properly.  Turn Off Your Cell Phone.  Do Not Bring Food or Drink in the Class-room.  Contribute to the Class Discussion When Appropriate.  Avoid Side Conversations.  Be Attentive in the Class.  Stay for the Entire duration of the Class.  Avoid Signaling, Sending Signs.  Contact the Professor When You Have to Miss the Class.
  • 20. Phone Etiquette  Always return calls  If you’re going to be out, have someone pick up your calls or at a minimum, have your answering system tell the caller when you’ll be back and then they can expect a call back.  When you initiate a call and get a receptionist or secretary, identify yourself and tell them the basic nature of your call  Answer the phone with some enthusiasm or at least warmth  Personalize the conversation  Don’t call repeatedly-give the others a chance to respond
  • 21. E-mail Etiquette  Make the subject line specific  Delete the extraneous information-keep it short simple and coherent  Address and sign your e-mails  Don’t type in all caps. It’s too intense
  • 22. Table Manners Accessories Purse/briefcase should be placed under the table or beside one’s chair. Cell phones and pagers should be turned off or on silent mode. Avoid answering the phone at the dinner table. Body Language Have good posture and keep your feet flat on the floor. Make eye contact with people at the table. Avoid placing your elbows on the table. Eat quietly with your mouth closed and try not to talk with your mouth full.
  • 23. Passing and Adding Items on the table that are within easy reach can be picked up. If you need to stretch across the table or rise to reach items, ask for them to be passed to you instead of reaching yourself. Food is usually passed in a counter clockwise direction Do not eat too fast; pace yourself to finish your meal at the same time as others. Napkins Once seated, unfold your napkin without snapping it in the air. Place your napkin on your lap. Avoid tucking it into your belt, shirt or collar. Use your napkin frequently to blot your lips but do not blot your mouth vigorously. If you need to be excused from the table during the meal, place your soiled napkin on your chair (avoid placing it back on the table as it is unappetizing for others to see a soiled napkin on the table if they are still eating).
  • 24. Dining Etiquette  When you are finished your meal, casually fold your napkin and place it either: To the left of your dessert plate if it is still on the table, or In the middle of your place setting if the dessert plate has been removed.  In today's competitive environment, dining etiquette is an area of expertise that can be added to your list of career and job search skills. Keep in mind that etiquette rules are not commandments – learn the standards and then apply them as you see it. These skills will not only serve you well now, but also in the future.
  • 25. Business Etiquettes in different Countries To be successful in business transactions , one should bear in mind business norms of different countries as a host or guest for that country. Business manners for some countries are given below: 1. Americans:  Shaking hands during introduction is common.  Business cards are exchanged only when required  To be punctual.  Prefer breakfast meetings to develop close business relations. Meetings over lunch.  Its common to refer to people by their first name. 2. Europeans: a. British: Share most of their culture with other Europeans. Formal in meetings and personal style. b. French: Speak in French with businessmen from other countries. Very cordial and greet by shaking hands. Business men and women may kiss each other on meeting and parting.
  • 26. c. Germans: Highly formal and punctual. Meetings are fixed well in advance. Addressed by their surnames. Senior businessmen are shown respect by sometimes being referred to as “Herr Doktor”. Similarly, businesswomen are always addressed as “Frau” d. Italian and Spanish: Consider business occasions as part of social life and hence less formal than other Europeans. Meetings are more informal, so discussion about personal welfare may precede the discussions. e. Dutch: Speak English fluently. Most of them are polyglots(speaking and writing several languages). They can conduct business in several languages. Relaxed. 3. The Japanese:  Greet each other by shaking hands and not with a bow.  Polite to offer and accept business cards with both hands.  Maintains personal space, so physical contact is not desirable.  Impolite to say ‘NO’.  Giving gifts considered an important part of business. A gift has to be in keeping with the status of the person. Gifts in pairs is considered lucky. (cufflinks or pen and pencil set)  Red cards are funeral notices, so red cards are not used for business.
  • 27. 4. Arabs:  Stick to their traditional way of greeting, both as hosts and visitors, by saying “Salaam alaikum” (Peace be upon you), accompanied by a firm handshake.  To show greater warmth and closeness, Arab business people may embrace each other while placing right hand on heart and the other hand on each other’s shoulders. They may also kiss on both cheeks. Do not reciprocate, unless you are also an Arab.  Not under time pressure. Meetings preceded by social pleasantries.  Avoid discussions on religious and political matters.  Extends lavish hospitality as hosts and expects the same as visitors to other countries.  Gifts are part of hospitality.  As tokens of gratitude for favors received, expensive gifts are presented and it is not looked upon as bribe. It is accepted form of thanks giving.  BUT never gift handkerchiefs as gifts, as they symbolize tears and parting. 5. Indians:  Indian business culture is eclectic. Shaking hands at a meeting or parting is a common practice.  Known for their hospitality. Visitors treated with utmost attention and respect.  Business meetings are punctual, well-planned and formally conducted and protocol of seniority is observed.  In business discussions , juniors give precedence to their seniors and they have to wait for the signal from their seniors to contribute.  Business cards are exchanged while parting to indicate further contacts.  Small gifts at the end of meeting is a gesture of goodwill.  VIP’s are received by senior executives with bouquets. And are usually accompanied back to their vehicle and duly seen off.
  • 28. Social and business etiquette can be tricky, and making the right moves can make a big difference. Take this quiz and see how you fare in the following business situations.
  • 29. My boss, Mr. Ambani, enters the room when I am meeting with an important client, Mr. Desai. I rise and say "Mr.Ambani, I would like you to meet Mr. Desai, our client from Mumbai." Is this introduction correct?
  • 30. NO. Introduce the more important person first. You should address your client and say "Mr. Desai, I'd like you to meet our Vice President of Development, Mr.. Ambani.”
  • 31. At a social function, I have meet the CEO of an important corporation. After a brief chat, I give him my business card. Is this correct?
  • 33. I am entering a cab with an important client. I enter first myself & asking the client to seat on my left. Is this correct?
  • 34. YES ! When your client steps out of the car, (s)he will be on the sideway and therefore won't have to deal with getting out in traffic or sliding across the seat.
  • 35. I am in a restaurant and a thin soup is served in a cup with no handles. To eat it I should:  A. Pick it up and drink it  b. Use the spoon provided  c. eat half of it with a spoon and drink the remainder
  • 36. B. It's not a cup of coffee, Use the spoon provided. For heaven's sake. And don't slurp,
  • 37. I am at a table in a restaurant for a business dinner. Midway through the meal, I have called to the telephone. What should I do with my napkin?  a. Take it with me  b. Fold and place it to the left of my plate  c. Loosely fold it and place it on the right side  d. Leave it on my chair
  • 38. D. Leave it on your chair. Definitely don't put it on the Table. What if you have crumbs on it?
  • 39. I am hosting a dinner party at a restaurant. Included are me and my Wife and my most valuable client and his wife. I instruct the waiter to:  a. serve my spouse first  b. serve my client's spouse first  c. serve me and my spouse last
  • 40. B .  Sort of a trick question, but this is important.
  • 41. I am invited to a reception and the invitation states "7:00 to 9:00 PM." I should arrive:  a. at 7:00 PM  b. anytime between 7:00 PM and 9:00 PM  c. between 7:00 PM and 7:30 PM  d. go early and leave early
  • 42. B or C.  It's terribly impolite to arrive early.
  • 43. I am greeting or saying good-bye to someone. When is the proper time to shake their hand?  a. When I am introduced  b. At their home  c. At their office  d. On the street  e. When I say good-bye
  • 44. A, B, C, D, and E. In other words, it's a formal in etiquette to shake someone's hand. Make sure you have a firm (but not painful) handshake for both men and women.
  • 45. I am talking with a group of four people. With whom I should make eye contact. a. with the person to whom I am speaking at the moment b. each of the four, moving your eye contact from one to another? c. no one particular person (not looking directly into) d. anyone's eyes.
  • 46. C. Make eye contact with all of the individuals you're talking with.
  • 47. When I greet a visitor in my office, do I:  a. say nothing and let him sit where he wishes?  b. tell him where to sit?  c. say "Just sit anywhere"
  • 48. B. Indicating where your guest should sit will make him feel More comfortable.
  • 49. I have forgotten a lunch with a business associate. I feel terrible and know he's furious. Do I:  a. write a letter of apology?  b. send flowers?  c. keep quiet and hope he forgets about it?  d. call and set up another appointment?
  • 50. D. Call and set up another appointment. And don't forget to apologize for your error. Imagine how you'd feel if it was you!