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HAS ANYONE ELSE SEENHAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN
HAS ANYONE ELSE SEENHAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN
YOUR CODE?YOUR CODE?
HAS ANYONE ELSE SEENHAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN
YOUR CODE?YOUR CODE?
CODEMOTION BERLIN 2018-11-21CODEMOTION BERLIN 2018-11-21
YOUR HOST TODAYYOUR HOST TODAY
@pinchito
WHAT WE WILL COVERWHAT WE WILL COVER
WHAT WE WILL COVERWHAT WE WILL COVER
BadCodeWillKillYou
WHAT WE WILL COVERWHAT WE WILL COVER
BadCodeWillKillYou
DeployingSpiders
WHAT WE WILL COVERWHAT WE WILL COVER
BadCodeWillKillYou
DeployingSpiders
ZenandtheArtofCodeReviews
WHAT WE WILL COVERWHAT WE WILL COVER
BadCodeWillKillYou
DeployingSpiders
ZenandtheArtofCodeReviews
EditorialProcess
WHAT WE WILL COVERWHAT WE WILL COVER
BadCodeWillKillYou
DeployingSpiders
ZenandtheArtofCodeReviews
EditorialProcess
Conclusions
WHY ME?WHY ME?
WHY ME?WHY ME?
20+yearsintheindustry
WHY ME?WHY ME?
20+yearsintheindustry
5+yearsdoingcodereviews
WHY ME?WHY ME?
20+yearsintheindustry
5+yearsdoingcodereviews
Readabunchofblogposts
WHY ME?WHY ME?
20+yearsintheindustry
5+yearsdoingcodereviews
Readabunchofblogposts
Extremelymuscularbody
CODE CAN (AND WILL) KILL YOUCODE CAN (AND WILL) KILL YOU
BAD CODE IS OUT TO GET YOU!BAD CODE IS OUT TO GET YOU!
SOFTWARE BUGS COST $60 BILLIONSOFTWARE BUGS COST $60 BILLION
SOFTWARE BUGS COST $60 BILLIONSOFTWARE BUGS COST $60 BILLION
SOFTWARE BUGS COST $60 BILLIONSOFTWARE BUGS COST $60 BILLION
...intheUSin2002
SOFTWARE HANDLES:SOFTWARE HANDLES:
SOFTWARE HANDLES:SOFTWARE HANDLES:
allmoneyexceptpocketchange
SOFTWARE HANDLES:SOFTWARE HANDLES:
allmoneyexceptpocketchange
communicationsaroundtheworld
SOFTWARE HANDLES:SOFTWARE HANDLES:
allmoneyexceptpocketchange
communicationsaroundtheworld
healthinstrumentsandrecords
SOFTWARE HANDLES:SOFTWARE HANDLES:
allmoneyexceptpocketchange
communicationsaroundtheworld
healthinstrumentsandrecords
almostalltransportationvehicles
STATE OF THE ART SENSORSSTATE OF THE ART SENSORS
STATE OF THE ART SENSORSSTATE OF THE ART SENSORS
VS PRIMATE IN METAL BOXVS PRIMATE IN METAL BOX
STATE OF THE ART SENSORSSTATE OF THE ART SENSORS
VS PRIMATE IN METAL BOXVS PRIMATE IN METAL BOX
APE WINSAPE WINS
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
Nissan
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
Nissan
BMW
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
Nissan
BMW
Tesla
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
Nissan
BMW
Tesla
...
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
Nissan
BMW
Tesla
...
Seat?
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
Nissan
BMW
Tesla
...
Seat?
Dacia?
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
Nissan
BMW
Tesla
...
Seat?
Dacia?
Perodua??
SELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERSSELF-DRIVING CAR MANUFACTURERS
Waymo
GM
Nissan
BMW
Tesla
...
Seat?
Dacia?
Perodua??
Saipa???
WAR ROBOTSWAR ROBOTS
Canbeunleashedbyasoftwarebug
ACTUAL ROBOTSACTUAL ROBOTS
DEPLOYING SPIDERSDEPLOYING SPIDERS
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DEPLOY?DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DEPLOY?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DEPLOY?DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DEPLOY?
OFTEN WE DO NOT KNOW!OFTEN WE DO NOT KNOW!
IT MAY BE WEIRD STUFFIT MAY BE WEIRD STUFF
IT MAY BE WEIRD STUFFIT MAY BE WEIRD STUFF
(POTENTIALLY VERY WEIRD)(POTENTIALLY VERY WEIRD)
SPOILER ALERTSPOILER ALERT
SPOILER ALERTSPOILER ALERT
SPOILER ALERTSPOILER ALERT
IT'S A HUMAN HEAD!IT'S A HUMAN HEAD!
Doescodeeverworkthefirsttime?
Doescodeeverworkthefirsttime?
Doescodeeverworkthefirsttime?
Doescodeeverworkthefirsttime?
Doescodeeverworkthefirsttime?
Yes!
Doescodeeverworkthefirsttime?
Yes! Probablynot?
Doescodeeverworkthefirsttime?
DefinitelynotYes! Probablynot?
HALL OF TORTURED SOULSHALL OF TORTURED SOULS
LINUX 4.17.3: 6 MLOCLINUX 4.17.3: 6 MLOC
LINUX 4.17.3: 6 MLOCLINUX 4.17.3: 6 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
29
$ grep -ir kludge linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
110
$ grep -ir cludge linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
1
$ grep -ir crap linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
195
$ grep -r TODO linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
4825
LINUX 4.17.3: 6 MLOCLINUX 4.17.3: 6 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
29
$ grep -ir kludge linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
110
$ grep -ir cludge linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
1
$ grep -ir crap linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
195
$ grep -r TODO linux-4.17.3 | wc -l
4825
## Some Highlights
* Wirzenius wrote this portably, Torvalds fucked it up :-)
/* !!!! THIS IS A PIECE OF SHIT MADE BY ME !!! */
NODE.JS 10.5.0: 3 MLOCNODE.JS 10.5.0: 3 MLOC
NODE.JS 10.5.0: 3 MLOCNODE.JS 10.5.0: 3 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck node-v10.5.0 | wc -l
25
$ grep -ir kludge node-v10.5.0 | wc -l
22
$ grep -ir crap node-v10.5.0 | grep -v scrap | wc -l
9
$ grep -r TODO node-v10.5.0 | wc -l
2904
NODE.JS 10.5.0: 3 MLOCNODE.JS 10.5.0: 3 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck node-v10.5.0 | wc -l
25
$ grep -ir kludge node-v10.5.0 | wc -l
22
$ grep -ir crap node-v10.5.0 | grep -v scrap | wc -l
9
$ grep -r TODO node-v10.5.0 | wc -l
2904
## Some Highlights
* **help:** fuck it. just hard-code it ([d5d5085]
(https://github.com/zkat/npx/commit/d5d5085))
* IOW it's all just a clusterfuck and we should think of something that makes
slightly more sense.
JAVA 10.0.1: 3.5 MLOCJAVA 10.0.1: 3.5 MLOC
JAVA 10.0.1: 3.5 MLOCJAVA 10.0.1: 3.5 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck java-10.0.1 | wc -l
1
$ grep -ir kludge java-10.0.1 | wc -l
16
$ grep -ir crap java-10.0.1 | grep -v scrap | wc -l
3
$ grep -r TODO java-10.0.1 | wc -l
2155
JAVA 10.0.1: 3.5 MLOCJAVA 10.0.1: 3.5 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck java-10.0.1 | wc -l
1
$ grep -ir kludge java-10.0.1 | wc -l
16
$ grep -ir crap java-10.0.1 | grep -v scrap | wc -l
3
$ grep -r TODO java-10.0.1 | wc -l
2155
## Some Highlights
if (uri == null || uri.length() == 0) // crap. the NamespaceContext interface
is broken
// forces us to clear out crap up to the next
* TODO: wrapping message needs easier. in particular properties and
attachments.
UNIT TESTS ARE GREATUNIT TESTS ARE GREAT
UNIT TESTS ARE GREATUNIT TESTS ARE GREAT
UNIT TESTS ARE GREATUNIT TESTS ARE GREAT
UNIT TESTS ARE GREATUNIT TESTS ARE GREAT
UNIT TESTS ARE GREATUNIT TESTS ARE GREAT
UNIT TESTS ARE GREATUNIT TESTS ARE GREAT
UNIT TESTS ARE GREATUNIT TESTS ARE GREAT
WHEN SOMEONE REVIEWS THEM!WHEN SOMEONE REVIEWS THEM!
EXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOMEEXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOME
EXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOMEEXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOME
Buthavetoberepeatedeverytime
EXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOMEEXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOME
Buthavetoberepeatedeverytime
Labor-intensive
EXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOMEEXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOME
Buthavetoberepeatedeverytime
Labor-intensive
Microsoft:1QA/devinthe90s
EXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOMEEXTERNAL TESTS ARE AWESOME
Buthavetoberepeatedeverytime
Labor-intensive
Microsoft:1QA/devinthe90s
Today:1QA/3devs
WHEN PAIR PROGRAMMING IS NOT ENOUGHWHEN PAIR PROGRAMMING IS NOT ENOUGH
EVEN REMOTE PAIR PROGRAMMINGEVEN REMOTE PAIR PROGRAMMING
ZEN AND THE ARTZEN AND THE ART
OF CODE REVIEWOF CODE REVIEW
JUDGED BY A JURY OF YOUR PEERSJUDGED BY A JURY OF YOUR PEERS
IDEAL REVIEWIDEAL REVIEW
IDEAL REVIEWIDEAL REVIEW
IDEAL REVIEWIDEAL REVIEW
IDEAL REVIEWIDEAL REVIEW
IDEAL REVIEWIDEAL REVIEW
IDEAL REVIEWIDEAL REVIEW
DO NOT RELY SOLELY ON SENIOR REVIEWDO NOT RELY SOLELY ON SENIOR REVIEW
 
SENIOR REVIEW CREATESSENIOR REVIEW CREATES
 A CHOKE POINT A CHOKE POINT
 
SENIOR REVIEW CREATESSENIOR REVIEW CREATES
 A CHOKE POINT A CHOKE POINT
 
SENIOR REVIEW CREATESSENIOR REVIEW CREATES
 A CHOKE POINT A CHOKE POINT
 
SENIOR REVIEW CREATESSENIOR REVIEW CREATES
 A CHOKE POINT A CHOKE POINT
 
SENIOR REVIEW CREATESSENIOR REVIEW CREATES
 A CHOKE POINT A CHOKE POINT
MANDATORY FEYNMAN MISQUOTEMANDATORY FEYNMAN MISQUOTE
Icouldn'texplainmycodetoajunior.That
meansIdon'treallyunderstandmycode.
RichardFeynman
ENCOURAGE JUNIORS TO ASK ONE QUESTIONENCOURAGE JUNIORS TO ASK ONE QUESTION
ENCOURAGE JUNIORS TO ASK ONE QUESTIONENCOURAGE JUNIORS TO ASK ONE QUESTION
ENCOURAGE JUNIORS TO ASK ONE QUESTIONENCOURAGE JUNIORS TO ASK ONE QUESTION
Youmaylearnsomething
ENCOURAGE JUNIORS TO ASK ONE QUESTIONENCOURAGE JUNIORS TO ASK ONE QUESTION
Youmaylearnsomething
...ornot
TOO MANY PRIMA DONNAS ALREADYTOO MANY PRIMA DONNAS ALREADY
EGO-LESS PROGRAMMINGEGO-LESS PROGRAMMING
TREAT PEOPLE WELLTREAT PEOPLE WELL
TREAT PEOPLE WELLTREAT PEOPLE WELL
Donotgiveorders;askquestions
TREAT PEOPLE WELLTREAT PEOPLE WELL
Donotgiveorders;askquestions
Maybeaskquestionsinsteadofgivingorders?
TREAT PEOPLE WELLTREAT PEOPLE WELL
Donotgiveorders;askquestions
Maybeaskquestionsinsteadofgivingorders?
Isn'titfastertochangeitthantoargue?
TREAT PEOPLE WELLTREAT PEOPLE WELL
Donotgiveorders;askquestions
Maybeaskquestionsinsteadofgivingorders?
Isn'titfastertochangeitthantoargue?
Couldyouacceptcriticismgracefully?
DON'T TROLL PEOPLEDON'T TROLL PEOPLE
BENEFITSBENEFITS
BENEFITSBENEFITS
Knowledgeissharedaround
BENEFITSBENEFITS
Knowledgeissharedaround
Disseminatecodingculture
BENEFITSBENEFITS
Knowledgeissharedaround
Disseminatecodingculture
Statusupdatesaremuchfaster
BENEFITSBENEFITS
Knowledgeissharedaround
Disseminatecodingculture
Statusupdatesaremuchfaster
Ittakeslong,butnotdoingittakeslonger
EXPLAINING YOUR CODE IS GOODEXPLAINING YOUR CODE IS GOOD
EXPLAINING YOUR CODE IS GOODEXPLAINING YOUR CODE IS GOOD
EXPLAINING YOUR CODE IS GOODEXPLAINING YOUR CODE IS GOOD
Ifyoudon'tlearnanythingyou'redoingitwrong
VOLKSWAGEN SCENARIOVOLKSWAGEN SCENARIO
VOLKSWAGEN SCENARIOVOLKSWAGEN SCENARIO
Blameisspread
VOLKSWAGEN SCENARIOVOLKSWAGEN SCENARIO
Blameisspread
Otherpeoplereviewed
VOLKSWAGEN SCENARIOVOLKSWAGEN SCENARIO
Blameisspread
Otherpeoplereviewed
Gostraighttothesolutions
IF REVIEWS GIVE YOU TROUBLEIF REVIEWS GIVE YOU TROUBLE
IF REVIEWS GIVE YOU TROUBLEIF REVIEWS GIVE YOU TROUBLE
Maybeyouhavesomeissuestoworkwith?
IF REVIEWS GIVE YOU TROUBLEIF REVIEWS GIVE YOU TROUBLE
Maybeyouhavesomeissuestoworkwith?
Corollary:
IF REVIEWS GIVE YOU TROUBLEIF REVIEWS GIVE YOU TROUBLE
Maybeyouhavesomeissuestoworkwith?
Corollary:
Ifyouwanttoimproveyourdevprocess,doreviews!
EDITORIAL PROCESSEDITORIAL PROCESS
EDITORIAL PROCESSEDITORIAL PROCESS
EDITORIAL PROCESSEDITORIAL PROCESS
EDITORIAL PROCESSEDITORIAL PROCESS
FOUR-EYES PRINCIPLEFOUR-EYES PRINCIPLE
SIX EYESSIX EYES
EIGHT EYESEIGHT EYES
SIX EYESSIX EYES
EIGHT EYESEIGHT EYES
SIX EYESSIX EYES
EIGHT EYESEIGHT EYES
SIX EYESSIX EYES
CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!
CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!
CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!
CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!
SOME EXAMPLESSOME EXAMPLES
3+1s
no-1s
Youcanvote+0or-0
Adjustasneeded
Node.jsreview
Apacheconsensusrules
REVIEWS ARE A PROCESS, NOT AREVIEWS ARE A PROCESS, NOT A
DESTINATIONDESTINATION
Prepareformultipleround-trips
TO SUMMARIZETO SUMMARIZE
PEOPLE DEPLOY CODE ALL THE TIMEPEOPLE DEPLOY CODE ALL THE TIME
PEOPLE DEPLOY CODE ALL THE TIMEPEOPLE DEPLOY CODE ALL THE TIME
PEOPLE DEPLOY CODE ALL THE TIMEPEOPLE DEPLOY CODE ALL THE TIME
"DEPLOY""DEPLOY"
JUNIORS MAKE GREAT REVIEWERSJUNIORS MAKE GREAT REVIEWERS
CODE REVIEWS KEEP YOU HONESTCODE REVIEWS KEEP YOU HONEST
MAKE THE PROCESS EXPLICITMAKE THE PROCESS EXPLICIT
THANKS!THANKS!
@pinchito

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