Bridging the Gender Divide 10-15- OLLI
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Semelhante a Bridging the Gender Divide 10-15- OLLI
Semelhante a Bridging the Gender Divide 10-15- OLLI (20)
Bridging the Gender Divide 10-15- OLLI
- 1. Osher Lifelong Learning Institute October 14, 2015 Cindy Petitt Bridging the Great Gender Divide
- 2. Agenda Is There Really a Difference . . . Due Diligence So What?! What Are the Differences You Tell Me What the “Experts” Say Implications and What To Do 2
- 3. Same or Different? We are more alike than different One small difference can have a big impact Context Matters The Big Debate – Nature vs Nurture 3
- 4. INTERPRETING DIFFERENCES Many Men and Women are Similar Many Men and Women are Quite Different Averages are different Numberofpeople 4
- 5. So What • It’s Fun To Talk About it • Awareness Opens the Door to Understanding • It is the Basis of Conscious and Unconscious Bias • It Leads to Lots of Misunderstanding and Frustration 5
- 6. Men and Women in Separate Groups – Part I What Are The Differences? • How are men and women different? Two boxes: • What does it mean to: “Act like a man?” • What does it mean to: “Act like a woman?” 6
- 7. What Are The Differences? Act like a Woman Box Act Like a Man Box 7
- 8. Men and Women in Separate Groups – Part II What Are The Differences? • How do you feel most misunderstood by other group? • What are most significant challenges of being in your group? • What do you find most challenging about other group? 8
- 9. Differences – What Do The Experts Say? More than 100 differences in brains of men and women – where blood flows, structure, neural networks, hormones Men have: • Larger amygdala • Smaller hippocampus •More complex spatial centers •More gray matter Women have: •Larger Hippocampus •More pre-frontal cortex brain cells •Larger language centers in both hemispheres and 40% more connections to emotional centers •More white matter Many differences stem from pre-historic gender roles Scientific evidence of differences is substantial 9
- 10. Women Men Brain Centers Verbal, Memory, Life Experiences –Focus on words emotions, observations – constantly reassessing, personalizing Let’s Talk – I want to know how you feel Spatial Focus on objects and actions – don’t remember, don’t pick up signals Let’s Not – I want to go for a run Information Processing Across Brain Centers Multi-task Explore all possibilities, context, implications See patterns and connect dots Store memory in more parts of brain Within One Center One task at a time – Focused Action Isolate situations to problem-solve Keep conversations on point Isolate key points-focus on most important Chemistry Oxytocin, Serotonin, Prolactin Calming, Bonding, Stimulating Tear Glands Accept Blame Testosterone Aggression, Territorial, Competitive Deflect Blame Rest States Never – 30% more blood flow in woman’s brains Overwhelmed Often Zoned Out Brain Differences Create Gender Differences Differences 10
- 11. “You’re Not Listening” – It’s Not Personal The Brain at Rest* Female Brain Male Brain Women Talk with Long Preambles and Closings Men Have a Word Limit Threshold Before Brain Shuts Down Speech Patterns Preamble Content Closing Females _______________I________I_______________ Males __I_________I___ Advice for Women: To Be Heard, Be Concise Advice for Men: To Hear, Stay Awake 11
- 12. Women Men Words Use more words • Feel disrespected when the listener is not paying attention • May talk more to regain attention • Too many words may feel like micromanagement Use fewer words. • Feel disrespected when a person is wordy • When their word limit(for listening) is reached they will interrupt, be distracted, zone out or become irritable. • Information shared is often vague Criticism Criticize themselves • To bond by minimizing differences and making another person feel better about their mistakes Criticize others • To deflect negative feelings and establish status as a form of competition Action Drivers Are process oriented • Slow down to think through actions • Focus on the how • Self esteem tied to relationships, doing it all-perfectly. Are goal oriented • Rush to complete task • Focus on the what • Self-esteem tied to status, strength, quality Accomplishments Ask questions about accomplishments of others to provide support Talk about their own accomplishments • To position themselves competitively Expression of Emotions Are typically most emotional about family and relationships Are typically most emotional about sports or other competitive activity Impact of Stress Are shut down. Stress stymies them and blocks learning. “Tend and Befriend” Are revved up. Stress stimulates them and enhances their learning. “Fight and flight” Negotiations Use a more relationship and deliberate approach Persuade with emotional appeal (e.g., guilt) Use a more aggressive and abrupt approach Persuade with data Differences Bonding-Competition Differences Play Out in Many Ways 12
- 13. Body Language, Voice Differences and Communication Style Can Affect Confidence Women Men Nod means she is listening Nod means he agrees Condense space – elbows to side and legs tightly crossed. Expand space – stretch out arms and legs Sound more emotional because they use five tones when speaking – so there is more voice variation. Women talk faster, peak more softly and hear better than men. Sound more commanding and confident because use only 3 tones, and have deeper and louder voice. Men talk assertively. They are more successful in taking and maintaining the flour. Communication style reflects focus more on relationship than clarity and task. Communication style reflects focus more on clarity and task than relationship Body language is likely to emphasize enthusiasm and inclusion Body language is likely to emphasize composure and stature. They use more commanding gestures and hold their heads straight. Faces are expressive and they establish eye contact and tilt their heads to show interest. Minimize facial expressions Differences 13
- 14. How it is defined . . . Differences In How Love is Experienced Saying “I Love You” Women MenWomen = Attachment Men = Lust and Infatuation 14
- 15. Differences - EYES MENWOMEN I don’t see any clutter . . .I didn’t even see that garage door . . . Different proportion of whites Better peripheral Vision, easier to connect and see what is going on around you Better tunnel vision, easier to see straight ahead and at long distance Vision illustration from Why Men Don’t Listen & Women Can’t Read Maps by Allan & Barbara Pease 15
- 16. Now that you know, what will you do differently? 16
- 17. Comments, Questions? 17 If you think of something later, feel free to ask: cpetitt@mac.com
Notas do Editor
- More alike than different – 99% of our make up same Small differences – 1 degree=boiling/freezing see green as blue – agree on color, someone will be very disappointed nodding when stressed – walk versus talk Context Matters Man crying – sensitive, boy crying – sissy Hell has no fury like a woman scorned Nature-Nurture – Most of 20th Century = nature/socialization Since 1980’s science found significant differences – 100 differences in brains – some affects behaviors and in other cases use different parts of the brain to perform identical functions. Man’s world – research based on men – set standard, anything below standard = inferior. 150 years ago Charles Darwin and other scientist – proof that women are of inferior intelligence because of brain differences.
- Another big issue is that variation among women is greater than average difference with men, which is true. However, the ultimate variation among men and women is much broader than the variation within each sex.
- Misunderstanding and Frustration Make assumptions that see world the same, but don’t so take it personally/make judgments Damages relationships Scientist can’t agree so leave it up to us and media and we often get it wrong Blind spots Bias – Intuition Man’s world – reearch based on men. If don’t meet the norm than inferior Stereotypes- test taking, sciences, applications Awareness leads to understanding Colors green/blue if knew – what would you do differently No emotion receptor, what would you do different Allergy – peanut allergy, would eat dessert that you slaved over how would you react, but what if you knew allergic to nuts . . . (before and after examples.) Fun lots of books, we want to understand each other – better to laugh than be angry
- This is a quick brainstorm – don’t need an exhaustive list – then we will share with each other. What happens to men and women who act outside their box? How does that relate to how feel most challenged.
- Men have: Larger amygdala (fight-flight, more physical risk-taking, binocular-view of world, systematic) Smaller hippocampus (release emotions through activity) More complex spatial centers (bias toward movement, action and solutions) More gray matter (process information within brain centers) Women have: Larger Hippocampus (learning and memory and more connections to emotional centers) More pre-frontal cortex brain cells (judgment, conscientiousness, impulse control) Larger language centers in both hemispheres and 40% more connections to emotional centers More white matter (process information across centers)
- Men: They attribute success to their skills, and failures to external factors In intelligence test, stronger in science, visual spatial processing, math problem solving – over represented at both extremes Talk more in meetings – dominance issue. Verbal fluency is contextual Women: better at detecting emotions in others more likely to harmonize than compete – so down play their achievements and reluctant to talk about accomplishments to avoid having another person feel inferior. Criticize themselves than blame others for mistakes. Attribute success to external factors (luck, team) and failure to internal factors (not good enough) In intelligent test, higher in verbal fluency, writing and perceptual speed.
- Men’s direct communications come across a abrupt and inconsiderate. They willingly express their disagreement with opinions of others. In conflict, move to closure rather than involve others. So they tend to be direct and factual (abrupt). In conflict they tend to make categorical statements about right and wrong. Women Communication style: disclaimer and hedge: perhaps, possibly hedges adverbs: very inclusive pronouns: we, our ask more questions. Upward infliction at end of sentences and tag questions (don’t you agree) If interrupt, it is to express support or agreement In conflict seek to relieve tension, find common interest, and build consensus. More likely to use examples of person experience to persuade others.
- When it comes to seeing the colors of the world around us, scientists at Arizona State University have discovered that women not only see red more vividly than men but that they can also distinguish more subtle hues of it from one another, as mentioned in this article. It’s thought that this difference goes far back in time to humans being hunter-gatherers. Women, being the gatherers, were more successful in collecting fruits and berries for the clan if they could accurately distinguish the shades of red that told the difference between ripe berries and varieties of poisonous ones. White of eyes allow more movement and to connect withothers. Women more likely to have head on collisions and men from the side. Women have greater variety of cones in retina so can see collors more vividly