1. Cyberbullying, Sports, and You
Ben Barry, School Counselor – Carlisle Middle School
(and former coach, teacher, and Dad of 4 little ones)

2. Who Am I and What do I Do?
• Carlisle Middle School
– 6-8 building
– 2000+ students district-wide, 474 in middle school
including largest class in district
– Rural school just outside major metro area
• Teacher/Educator for 12 years
• Counselor for 5 years
• Have Coached at MS and HS level
• NOT a Bullying Expert, but like all of you,
constantly learning

3. Today’s Objectives
• You will know what bullying and cyberbullying
actually is.
• You will be able to identify if an issue is
bullying…or maybe just teasing
• You will understand how your role as Coach is
key in preventing bullying
• You will see many different simple ways you
could create a culture of no-tolerance for
bullying, not just with your team, but with
your entire school

4. Workshop Survey
• Please go to this website and take the 5
question survey. Your results will be shown
during the 2nd
hour of our focus on Bullying.
• Even better, you will be shown how you can
use this survey tool as a way to get
information on your team and their
perceptions
• www.carlislecounseling.blogspot.com

5. What’s YOUR story?

6. Bully

7. “Bullying is a learned
behavior. If it can be
learned, it can be
examined, and it can
be changed.”
~ Barbara Coloroso

8. A Look at Ourselves
If bullying behavior is learned,
did they learn it from us???

9. “When staff reach a consensus on
what bullying is and agree to
intervene to prevent and reduce
it, rates of bullying drop
significantly.”
~ Wright (2004) cited in SEL and Bullying
Prevention (2009)

10. What is Bullying?
• “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior
among school aged children that involves a
real or perceived power imbalance. The
behavior is repeated, or has the potential to
be repeated, over time. Both kids who are
bullied and who bully others may
have serious, lasting problems.”
– www.stopbullying.gov

11. What Events are Bullying?
• Must have imbalance of power
– Physical size, outnumber target, access to
information, controlling
• Causes lasting harm, target shows effects
• Repetitive (but can be bullying sometimes
with just 1 event)
• Can be physical (not likely), verbal, emotional,
social, cyber-related

12. Bullying vs. Teasing
• This is what I tell students…..
– If target shows emotion or effects and
behavior/action STOPS….it is teasing
– If target shows emotion or effects and
behavior/action continues or gets worse…it is
bullying.
– When in doubt, address it with all involved
– Don’t buy the “I was just joking or kidding” line
from aggressor. And target may also say it was
just a joke, but follow up 1-on 1

13. Cyberbullying
• More on bullying later….but now,
Cyberbullying!
• Waukee students show the true nastiness of
Cyberbullying, but also show how a school can
unite to be better.

14. Cyberbullying….Why Should
Coaches Care?
• Almost all Cyberbullying or “Cyber Drama” will
occur when athletes are not around the coach
• But that does not mean it is not the Coach’s
issue to deal with or the school’s issue to deal
with

15. Check Your School Policy
• ….And then consider updating it or meeting
with your AD/principal/Superintendent
• If your student athlete is showing effects of
being bullied and these effects show up during
practices, games, or the school day…..
….it is a school, team, and Coach issue.

16. So What is Cyberbullying?
• Similar definition to bullying
• But adds “involves sending offensive,
humiliating, or threatening messages or
images through a computer, cell phone, or
other internet-related device”
• Comments directly to target, to others about
target, rumor-spreading, posting lies, made up
web pages, sexting

17. Cyberbullying Stats
• Over ½ of adolescents have been bullied
online, about the same have engaged in
cyberbullying
• 1/3 have experience cyberthreats
• Over 25% have been bullied repeatedly
through their cell phones/Internet
• More than half do not tell their parents when
cyberbullying occurs.
• But….would they tell their coach?

18. YES!
• If you form a relationship and bond with your
players, they may come to you before they go
to a parent
• That bond and openness must start early:
Coach’s meeting, camps, outside of practice
time
• But remember to forge that same relationship
with parents as well

19. But Wait…Why is Cyberbullying so
Bad?
• 24 Hours
• 7 Days a Week
• 365 Days a Year
• Doesn’t end at 3:30, Doesn’t end on Friday,
Doesn’t end at Summer Break.
• And the solution isn’t just telling the target to
shut off their phone, close their computer,
and delete their Facebook and Twitter

20. From Coaches/ADs
• It takes place more now via social media,
texting, ect…it’s easy to hide behind a
keyboard, and people don’t think sometimes
before hitting the enter key.—Todd Gordon,
Carlisle AD
• I think it is a bigger issue because of the use of
social media to bully kids. I think that avenue
makes it easier to hide behind their actions.
—Mark Hoekstra, Carlisle Head Football Coach

21. Cyberbullying…Does it Really
Matter?
• Gabrielle Molina
• Audrie Pott
• Josh Unsworth
• Kenneth Weishuhn
• Megan Meier

22. Yes,
It Matters

23. Iowa Safe Schools Law
Anti-Bullying/Harassment Law – Iowa Code 280.28
• Big Picture – No bullying/harassment by
– students
– school employees
– school volunteers
• 17 protected traits/characteristics
• Know Your State’s Laws when it comes to
bullying and harrassment, and your school’s
policy

24. • 17 enumerated categories
• Age
• Color
• Creed
• National Origin
• Race
• Religion
• Marital Status
• Sex
• Sexual Orientation
• Gender Identity
• Physical Attributes
• Physical/Mental Disability
• Ancestry
• Political Party Preference
• Political Belief
• Socioeconomic Status
• Familial Status
Iowa Safe Schools Law
Anti-Bullying/Harassment Law – Iowa Code 280.28

25. So now….back to just “regular
Bullying”
• No such thing as “regular bullying”
• 15-20% of students victimized by bullies during
school career
• 1 in 3 is involved in bullying
• 160,000 students skip school every day due to
fear of bullying
• 71%-85% of bullying is not stopped by an adult
• Bullying many times stops in seconds with peer
intervention

26. Risks of Bullying
• Team Unity
• Player attrition
• Patterns of behavior/Long-term Team Culture
• Professional issues/lawsuits
• Suicide
– 3rd leading cause of death in teens
– 100 attempts for every completed suicide
– Bully targets are 2-9 more likely to attempt

27. So What Do You Do?
• LISTEN to issue
• Report issues to superiors
• Investigate issue to see if it is truly bullying
• Address issue with students/athletes involved
• Contact parents
• Do not try “Conflict resolution” with bully and
target if issue is truly bullying

29. What do Your Athlete Targets
Want You to Do?
• When targets of bullying were surveyed about
what they want and do not want adults to do
– They wanted adults….
• Listen to them
• Validate their concerns and feelings, believe event
• Address issue
– They did not want adults….
• To talk to bully with them
• Punish the Bully
• To solve the issue

30. What Can You Do Before Bullying
Happens?
• Talk to players
• Talk to parents
• Seek help from resources (School counselor!)
• Use Technology and social media…be a role
model
• Special Events/Promotions
• Be there and listen

31. Social Media and Blogs
• Facebook account
• Twitter
• Blog site for your sport/team
• Old fashioned emails and newsletters??
www.carlislecounseling.blogspot.com

32. My “Got Guts?” campaign
• Modeled after “Got Milk?” ads
• Made 10 black posters with white lettering
• Used different body parts, senses, etc.
• Posted around building for month of October
• How could a Coach/team do this?

33. My “Be a Lifesaver” Campaign
• Found and typed up 10-15 bullying facts
• Added some Carlisle comparison information
to make more real and current
• Student council students stapled facts to
individual lifesavers
• Posted “Be a Life Saver” poster in Commons
• Student council reps handed out life saver to
all 474 students at lunch
• How could a Coach/team do this?

34. My “Blue Jeans for Bully-Free School” Campaign
• Coordinated it with launch of other
campaigns and National Stomp Out Bullying
Day
• All staff wore blue jeans (they loved this!)
• Moving it to district-wide next year
• Encouraged students district-wide to wear
blue on that day as well.
• How could a Coach/team do this?

35. Use Automotivator to Make School
Signs

37. Parent/Team Meeting
• Most of you already have parent/team
meetings
• Address Bullying/Cyberbullying specifically
• Consider emailing or mailing specific
information to parents on the topic
• Team meeting, even just 5-10 minutes, about
a No-tolerance policy on bullying

38. Gather Data!
• 1-on-1 interviews
• Mid-season contact with player and/or
parents
• Survey online (I use Google Forms)
– Quick, easy for players or parents
– Get instant data
– Act on the data!
– Publish the data!

39. Get Data!
• Needs Assessment for different groups
• Iowa Youth Survey (many states have these)
• Self-created Bullying/Harassment Survey
• Observational Data
• Bullying/Harassment forms
• Referral Data: Grade, location, time

40. Use the Data
• Review with players, coaches, administration,
parents, counselor, etc.
• Share the data….be public!
• All Schools have issues with bullying and
harrassment, but the good schools gather the
data, use the data, and try to problem-solve!
• And they do not shy away from the issue, they
confront it! (Example….Sioux City & “Bully”
movie

41. Scenarios

42. But the Most Important Things You Can Do are
the Easiest….
Listen
Support
Care
Follow up/through
Targets of bullying want to be heard, listened to, supported,
and helped. This can be the most impactful thing you do
and might just be the best fix to any bullying problems in
your school

43. So…..What WILL You do?
• Think about all you have heard and discussed
today
• What is ONE thing you will do when you go
back to your district and your team.
• Write that ONE thing on two different sticky
notes
• Keep one and post the other

44. To Finish….
• Athletes many times make the best role
models….

45. “Let us not look back in
anger or forward in fear,
but around in awareness.”
~James Thurber