1. Aurora Fenzl
Become the Wind
That is when I become my true self flying over the land and through the sky. I amfree to become
the wind.
I stop what I am doing when I hear the sound of drumming of hooves. Dust rises with the
profusely hot air. Wind flies around like a tempest playing a death dance. I look up from my chore of
carrying water and run outside of my family’s summer tent. The hunters are hunting a horse herd.
I run to the crest of the hill and see a running mass surge and plunge as they try to keep away
from the hunters. It is a large herd, maybe 15 horses. This is a very dangerous hunt with so many
running horses. My father is among them and so is my older brother who has just become of age by
killing his first stag on a hunt. I watch as the herd runs toward the pit trap. The hunters dig the trap days
before when the horses are first sighted. Then they are frightened into a run and herded into the trap, so
they would break their legs. This makes them much easier to slaughter. I know this because I will be
doing it one day. I will become a hunter one day and make my first kill.
The horses stop running and I think about the meal my mother will make tonight. I do not make the
long walk back to the clan's ring of tents. I just stand on the hill looking at the pit of dead horses
dreaming of the day I will make my first kill and be called a man at the fires.
Suddenly a large beast moves behind me in the ebony stillness. The clan’s best reciters tell
stories of demons that come at night. I whirl around and see a horse, a young one. It walks over to a dead
mare and sniffs it. It stands there not running from me.
I walk slowly towards the horse and unsheathe my bone knife. I am going to become a man. As
I raise my knife to its throat to make a clean cut, it looks at me with its dark brown eyes and I know I
cannot do it. I also remember the reciters story of how a man can see himself in another's eyes. I lower
my knife. I reach out my hand to touch the course golden body with a spiked black mane, but it moves
away from me. I turn my back and start to walk home. I can see the fires for the clan’s ring, burning
against the lonely quiet of the land. I hear soft footfalls behind me. The young horse follows me.
I cannot let any of my clan see the young horse; it will be an easy kill. I walk in the opposite
direction toward a small wooded area. I drag some young saplings over and make an enclosure of sorts to
close a natural group of large boulders. The horse is picking contentedly at grass as I leave. Sneaking
into my family’s tent is not easy in the middle of the night. My brother, the ever watchful hunter, hears
me come in and asks where I have been all night. He makes the sarcastic assumption it is a girl that keeps
me away.
The next day I come back and find the horse waiting for me. In the daylight I see the horse is
female and decide to name her Bird, after the sparrows that sing that morning. Bird is not an animal that I
can envision eating. She is so full of life and strength. Her kind eye sees all around, from the green
windblown grass to the dancing rays of sun. Just watching her I feellove. It is as stealthy as a summer
zephyr and as sudden as the lightning in a storm. Golden tan coat fades into black legs, mane, tail; and
they all shiver as she flicks flies off of herself. How can I look on her and not see beauty?
By day I willingly drink in horse by training Bird to come to my whistling like I have seen done
with dogs, but by night I have to choke down horse meat for the evening meal. As I suffer through my
hunger and rolling stomach, my father and brother talk about how well the pit trap worked. The clan men
are now starting to plan another hunting trip. What I would give for another hunting trip. A chance to
prove myself.
2. Aurora Fenzl
I somehow manage to slip away every day to see Bird and take her out to graze. The horse
follows where ever I go except when I gave her the command to stay. One day I see a girl giving her little
sister a ride on her back and I get an idea.
I run my hands over Bird's back feeling her wide girth, the way her spine dipped just behind her
shoulders. I ask her to remain still as I stand on a log. I grab a handful of mane and slip my leg over her
back. The moment I sit on her back, Bird kicks up her back feet and I meet the ground. As I lay on my
back Bird stands over me with her nose in my face. I tried again; I still end up with a mouth full of dirt.
I continue for severaldays and my mother is beginning to notice all of the bruises. After many
more days of getting launched into the turf, Bird stands still for me. My legs grip each side of her as I
center my weight over her shoulders. I am waiting for her to throw me again, but she holds. She knows
the answer to the question I ask of her. I look out to the grassland with its glow in the sunlight and Bird
starts walking towards it. Gripping her mane tightly, my heart thuds with each step she takes.
As we emerge into the sunlit plane I feel like I am of the sky, not earth. The wind stirs making
the grasses dance and shake to create waves of whispering sound. It tells us something. It tells us to
become the wind. I almost fall off again as the young horse under me lifts her hooves and starts to run.
Bird flies over the land like it is all a dream. I can scarcely hold onto the magic. Her muscles bunch and
expand under me as she surges forward, drumming the earth. The wind whips my face,breathing
becomes hard and I feel like I have left my old self behind. I am free. Free of the toils of the land and
that of my clan. I do not worry about becoming a man for the first time in my life. I am free to become
the wind. Bird finally slows to a walk and lets out a snuffling breath of contentment. I breathe in her sent
and thank her. She has given me a gift that I will never be able to repay. We stay in the middle of the
golden expanse until Bird turns back knowing the way home.
We run out of horse meat and I start to eat better as the moon cycle passes. My father finally
suggests that I come with the hunting party to prepare to make my first kill. My stomach is in knots. Can
I do it? Will I ever be able to do it? I fill a sack made of deer hide and head out with the rest of the
hunters. I am only armed with my bone knife and a spear,but some other hunters have clubs and stones
with sling shots.
We spot a group of large, hairy, grazing beasts that are look like three times the size of a bison. It
takes about six skilled hunters to bring one down, but they have very thick hides and are necessary if one
is to have a warm tent in the winter.
My brother and father go with some others to stalk an old one that seems to be limping. The
hunters are carefulto stay in its blind spots. My brother walks toward it with spear in hand, but does not
see the dip in the land. He trips and his spear flies, striking the beast's leg. It rears up in fright and bolts
off in a wild rage. The beast’s fear ripples through the herd and dust starts to rise as they stampede. I
never felt real fear until I look on the mass of shaggy bodies heaving onward. With so many hooves
hitting the earth,I am surprised it did not crack open at the force of the shaking.
Above the clamor of drumming hooves I hear a scream. My brother is hit by one of the
frightened beasts. His bone snaps as he hits the ground. He does not get up. The other hunters are
struggling to keep themselves alive and cannot help to my brother. As I start making my way to him, I
send up a desperate sheer whistle into the chaos.
Through the dust and hot air gallops Bird like a wind spirit. I make her stand long enough for me
to hoist my brother’s broken body onto her back before I swing up and ask her to run. With one hand I
3. Aurora Fenzl
clamp onto my brother and with the other I weave into Bird’s black mane. The wind carries us until all I
can hear is the familiar footfall of my faithful horse. I ask Bird to slow to a stop so I can look down at my
brother. He is in so much pain he lost consciousness.
I pull my brother off of Bird and look in the direction I had come. The other hunters follow us on
foot and look like a spirit has sucked their breath out. They are frightened of Bird whose head casually
drapes over my shoulder. The think I have dangerous magic that is controlling the horse. She breaths in
my ear as I see a young man from the corner of my eye,raise his spear to throw at Bird’s flank.
Even before I can send Bird away from the hunters and the spears,my brother cracks his eyes and
speaks. Through his clenching teeth he garbles the word “hold”. Bird notices his presence by putting her
nose down to his scratched and bloody face then exhales deeply. She does that to me almost every time
we see each other. It is her way of asking for friendship.
It is a year now since I first met Bird. I relive our first days of learning and bonding every day as
Bird and I still grow. I am still not a man yet, but the clan now treats me as if I am one. I have had to
step up and be a man until my brother recovered from his broken bone. The healer said he should have a
full recovery. Bird and I are working with the hunters on new hunting techniques that use the strength,
speed, and mobility of the horse. Bird now lives just outside the clan circle, and at the end of a long day’s
work for both of us, we ride together.
That is when I become my true self flying over the land and through the sky. I am free to become
the wind.