1. Stranger: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
You: if we were playing kickball, I'd pick you last
Stranger: Ouch.
Stranger: That hurts.
Stranger: Mean mean stranger.
You: Just like my C section.
Stranger: Keep talking.
You: I only talk when provoked.
Stranger: Well then, allow me.
Stranger: My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it
in.
You: Is that Windex? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
You: *sidebar* I like you, you have actual punctuation.
Stranger: Did you fart? Cause you blew me away.
Stranger: Thank you by the way, good sir.
You: *gentlelady
Stranger: Right.
Stranger: I knew that.
You: I'd like to screw your brains out, but it would appear
that someone beat me to it.
Stranger: Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing
else like you on Earth!
You: You be the tree, I'll wrap you like a Koala.
Stranger: Most people like to watch the Olympics, because
they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to
you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only
happens once in a lifetime.
Stranger: Beat that.
You: Oh shit.
Stranger: I win, bitches!
Stranger: Booya!
You: You can call me "The Fireman"....mainly because I turn
the hoes on?
You: No where near as good.
Stranger: No, no, I liked that.
2. You: *nowhere. embarrassing.
Stranger: Lemme write that one down.
Stranger: *....turn the hoes on* There
You: Perfect. Log that one away.
Stranger: If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for
fear of losing you.
You: Hey baby, I'm kind of cold, Can I use your thighs as
earmuffs?
You: OH GOD. THAT ONE IS AWFUL. I TAKE IT ALL
BACK
Stranger: Please do. Jesus effing christ!
Stranger: I mean, who says that? WHO SAYS THAT?
You: NOBODY WHO GETS ANY.
Stranger: WHY ARE WE TALKING IN CAPS?
You: I DONT KNOW BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW TO STOP.
IT'S ADDICTING.
Stranger: YEAH WELL....
You: Phew.
Stranger: Your mama's so fat that when she goes on a
scale, it reads "lose some weight"!
You: Yo mama is so fat that she sat on a dollar and
squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Stranger: Your mama's so fat when she told me her weight I
thought she was giving me her number.
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: NIIIICEE
You: That's my most favourite one of all time.
You: You're welcome.
Stranger: Your mama is so fat that she fell out of both sides
of her bed.
Stranger: Lame, I know.
You: Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels
and came back wearing flip flops.
Stranger: Your mama is so fat that she stands in two time
zones.
3. You: Yo mama is so fat that she walked into the Gap and
filled it.
Stranger: Wait, you're copy pasting this, aren't you?
Stranger: AREN'T YOU?
You: I WOULDNT DARE
Stranger: AAAARRRGHHHH!
You: WOULDN'T
Stranger: CHEATER!
You: I NEVER CHEAT
You: THESE ARE ALL FROM MY BRILLIANT MIND
Stranger: SAYS THE CHEATER WHO GOOGLES AND
COPY PASTES!
You: nrgje'e33
You: That was my cat. She says hey.
You: I DO NOT
Stranger: YOUR CAT DESERVES SOMEONE BETTER!
NOT A FILTHY LIAR!
You: NEVER SAY THOSE WORDS TO ME
Stranger: FILTHY.
Stranger: LIAR.
You: NO, NEVER SAY SOMEONE AND A. THOSE ARE
THE MOST DISGUSTING WORDS
Stranger: Huh...
Stranger: Okay.
Stranger: YEAH, WELL YOU FAT JUST LIKE YOUR
MAMMA!
You: It's a childhood thing. Don't worry about it.
You: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME
Stranger: I WATCHED YOU WATCH TV LAST NIGHT!
You: GOOD. THATS THE WAY I LIKE IT
Stranger: OKAY!
Stranger: GOOGLER.
You: FINE
You: .
You: MY PUNCTUATION IS DYING AND I'M
4. EMBARRASSED
Stranger: THAT'S CAUSE YOU NEVER FINISHED
SCHOOL, GOOGLER!
You: HIGHER EDUCATION BITCHES. IM DOING IT.
Stranger: PFFFFT, SURE.
Stranger: TOTALLY>
You: IM NOT EVEN A REAL MAJOR THOUGH SO ITS
FINE
Stranger: YOU SO FAT AND UGLY, KIDS DRESS UP LIKE
YOU ON HALLOWEEN.
You: YOU SO UGLY, EVERY TIME YOU GO TO THE
BEACH, CATS TRY TO THROW SAND ON YOU
Stranger: YOU SO UGLY, THAT YOU MAKE ONIONS
CRY.
You: YOU SO UGLY, THE BEAUTY PARLOR CHARGES
YOU FOR AN ESTIMATE
Stranger: YOU SO UGLY THAT YOUR PSYCHIATRIST
MAKES YOU LIE ON THE COUCH FACE DOWN.
You: HAHAHAHHAHA
You: YES
You: YOU SO UGLY THAT WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE
BANK, THEY TURN OFF THE SECURITY CAMERAS
Stranger: YOU SO UGLY THAT WHEN YOU WERE
BORN, THE DOCTOR SLAPPED YOU AND YOUR
PARENTS.
You: YOU SO UGLY THAT YOU DONT NEED A MASK ON
HALLOWEEN
Stranger: YOU SO UGLY THAT PEOPLE HANG YOUR
PICTURE IN THEIR CARS SO THEIR RADIOS DON'T GET
STOLEN.
You: YOU SO UGLY THAT YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE IS
AUTOMATICALLY A LICENSE TO KILL...YOU
You: that was awful.
Stranger: God, that one sucked.
You: Like, actually no wit. I apologize.
5. You: ITS LATE OKAY
Stranger: IT'S JUST 2:30 AM, NO BIGGY!
Stranger: MAN UP!
Stranger: LET THE SKYFAAAAAAAAAALL
Stranger: WHEN IT CRUMMMBLEEEES
Stranger: WE WILL STAND TAAAAAAALLLL
Stranger: STRANGER IS DEAD!
You: I FOUND YO
You: OH MY GOD
You: I THOUGHT THAT I HAD CLOSED OUT OF THE
WINDOW AND I CRIED
You: BUT I ACTUALLY JUST SWITCHED DESKTOPS
You: I MISSED YOU OH GOD
Stranger: LORD.
Stranger: DEAR LORD.
You: IT WAS ALMOST A TRAGEDY
Stranger: I THOUGHT YOU ABANDONED ME.
Stranger: BUT I WAITED!
You: AND I FELT BAD BECAUSE I DIDNT EVEN SAY
GOODBYE
Stranger: I HAD FAITH!
You: IM SO HAPPY YOU DID
You: YOU CARE
Stranger: MY MOM SAYS THAT ALL THE TIME.
Stranger: OMG, YOU'RE GONE AGAIN.
You: IT KEEPS DISSAPEARRING
You: IM SO CONFUSED
Stranger: THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T WANT US TO BE
TOGETHER!
You: I WANT US TOGETHER
Stranger: LET'S BE TOGETHER.
You: PERFECT
Stranger: ARE WE TOGETHER?
You: YEAH
You: SO OFFICIAL
6. Stranger: OKAY! NOW WHAT?
You: I DONT KNOW I FEEL THE SAME
Stranger: I THINK MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN.
You: YOU CAN FIX IT. See?
Stranger: I CAN? You're right, I can.
You: What would you do without me?
Stranger: Jump off a cliff.
You: Exactly.
You: Even though that's a little dramatic.
Stranger: But with a parachute, duh. I mean I don't want to
die. That'd be stupid.
You: Oh good.
You: I mean, I would do that with or without you though.
Base jumping sounds rad.
Stranger: Totally.
You: I mean. Yeah.
Stranger: Sure, I hear ya.
Stranger: Man, this new Man of Steel trailer is so effing
beautiful. Almost made me cry. Almost.
You: I haven't seen it yet. I'm scared.
Stranger: Scared that it's going to be a big disappointment?
You: Yeah. Also, why more? Nobody can beat Christopher
Reeve.
Stranger: More, more, more, MORE!
You: SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE CONSUMER.
Stranger: I like comics....sue me!
You: I could never.
You: I like Batman. And Sailor Moon.
Stranger: Sailor Moon? Jesus.
Stranger: I feel like I'm talking to a girl here!
Stranger: Sailor Moon.
Stranger: God.
You: STOP.
You: SAILOR MOON
You: Also...I am.
7. Stranger: Right...
You: But...Batman?
You: Does this ruin our relationship?
Stranger: BATMAN IS MINE! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
Stranger: ALL MINE.
You: FINE. I GET ROBIN.
Stranger: YOU CAN TAKE NOLAN'S ROBIN! NOT DICK
OR TIM OR JASON OR DAMIAN.
You: FINE. BUT ITS JGL SO OBVIOUSLY I STILL WIN
Stranger: YEAH, WHATEVER......PREMIUM RUSH WAS A
BOMB!
You: NEVER SO IT I'M SORY
You: *SAW
Stranger: YOU AND YOUR DARN TYPOS.
Stranger: YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY, LADY.
You: I'M SORRY. MY CAT GOT IN MY EYES
Stranger: THAT'S SLIGHTLY DISTURBING.
You: SHE LOVES ME OK
Stranger: SURE SHE DOES.
You: Forever alone.
You: She left.
Stranger: Wow, it's 3 am.
You: I'm sleep typing.
Stranger: Should we call it a night?
You: I think we should.
You: It's been real, sweet stranger.
Stranger: Can't say I feel the same, stranger.
You: Dick.
Stranger: HA.
You: ;)
Stranger: Later dude.
You: L8R
Stranger: Terry, by the way.
You: Aubrey. Like the Bread song.
Stranger: Haha, cool.
