There is an established simple 4-step framework that can help you speak up without getting too emotional or confusing. This method gets you results. And it's really simple.
Learn more about how to speak up and be more assertive without being rude at: https://www.assertiveway.com
19. Say “I’ve noticed you delivered the report
past the deadline and it still contains errors”
AssertiveWay.com
D
Describe escribe
20. Express how you feel about the situation
and implications of it
AssertiveWay.com
E
Express xpress
21. Use ”I” statements instead of “you” language
AssertiveWay.com
E
Express xpress
22. Instead of “You make me look bad”
AssertiveWay.com
E
Express xpress
23. Try “I feel overwhelmed when I don’t have
enough time to work on it”
AssertiveWay.com
E
Express xpress
24. Specify your ask, make your request
AssertiveWay.com
S
Specify pecify
25. Ask for what you want or behavior change,
be to the point and specific
AssertiveWay.com
S
Specify pecify
26. Instead of “Could you stop being late
all the time?”
AssertiveWay.com
S
Specify pecify
27. Say “Could you send me the report 3 days
ahead of the deadline?”
AssertiveWay.com
S
Specify pecify
28. Explain the consequences of action and
negotiate to an agreement
AssertiveWay.com
C
Conclude onclude
29. The consequences can be your confidence,
productivity, quality, performance review, etc
AssertiveWay.com
C
Conclude onclude
30. And ask for agreement or negotiate an
alternative
AssertiveWay.com
C
Conclude onclude
31. For example “That way we can deliver on
time” or “I’d feel less overwhelmed”
AssertiveWay.com
C
Conclude onclude
32. And the agreement
“Does that work for you?” or “Is that ok?”
AssertiveWay.com
C
Conclude onclude
33. DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
AssertiveWay.com
The Situation
& Behaviors
Observed
Your feelings
& the
problem
Your
Request
With
consequences
& agreement
36. AssertiveWay.com
Ask to take vacation time
• You are the employee talking to your boss
• You want to take time off in 4 weeks to travel
with your family when the kids are off from
school
• It is important for you to spend quality time
with your family
37. DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
AssertiveWay.com
The Situation
& Behaviors
Observed
Your feelings
& the
problem
Your
Request
With
consequences
& agreement
Ask to take vacation time
38. Describe
• “I still have vacation days I’d like to
use to travel with my family”
Express
• “It is important for me to spend quality
time with them and that is when the
kids are off from school"
Specify
• “I’d like to take time off 4 weeks from
now. I can work with Sara to cover my
workload.”
Conclude
• “That way my kids don’t have to miss
school. Is that ok with you?”
AssertiveWay.com
Ask to take
vacation time
41. Give constructive feedback
DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
AssertiveWay.com
The Situation
& Behaviors
Observed
Your feelings
& the
problem
Your
Request
With
consequences
& agreement
42. Describe
• “I’ve observed several of your emails
are more than 5 paragraphs long.
Have you noticed that?”
Express
• “I believe the long emails are quite
difficult for partners to understand."
Specify
• “I’d like you to keep emails to max 3
paragraphs long. If you have a longer
topic to share, I suggest a phone
call.”
Conclude
• “That way we can increase partner
engagement. Can you do that?”
AssertiveWay.com
Get constructive
feedback
45. Dealing with conflict
DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
AssertiveWay.com
The Situation
& Behaviors
Observed
Your feelings
& the
problem
Your
Request
With
consequences
& agreement
46. Describe
• “I’ve noticed that in the last 3 team
meetings that you’ve interrupted me
when I was sharing a thought.”
Express
• “I got upset because I miss the
opportunity to contribute & be
noticed."
Specific ask
• “Could you allow me to complete my
perspective before speaking up in
team meetings?.”
Conclude
• “That way we can work more
effectively together.”
AssertiveWay.com
Dealing with conflict
