This presentation touches on how to lead and manage self.You cannot lead and manage others if you are unable to lead and manage yourself!

2.  A priest who was confronted by a soldier while he was walking down a road
in pre-revolutionary Russia.
 The soldier, aiming his rifle at the priest, commanded,:
1. Who are you?
2. Where are you going?
3. Why are you going there?
 Unfazed, the priest calmly replied, “How much do they pay you?”
 Somewhat surprised, the soldier responded, “Twenty-five kopecks a month.”
 The priest paused, and in a deeply thoughtful manner said, “I have a
proposal for you. I’ll pay you fifty kopecks each month if you stop me here
every day and challenge me to respond to those same three questions.”

3.  The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No
apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an
amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day
your life really begins.” Anon
 Courage is fear that has said its prayers. Dorothy Bernard
 Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the
shore. Andre Gide
 Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is
more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon

4. If I am what I have and iiff II lloossee wwhhaatt II
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The ultimate measure of a
man is not where he
stands in moments of
comfort, but where he
stands at times of
challenge and controversy
Martin Luther King, Jr.

8. A good habit, consisting of three
elements, is defined as “the
intersection of knowledge”
1. Knowledge: the what to do
2. Skill: the how to do
3. Desire (motivation): the want
to do
“ We are what we
repeatedly do.
Excellence, then,
is not an act, but a habit ”
Aristotle
From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey (1989)

9. Motivation is
what gets you
started.
Habit is what
keeps you going.
Jim Ryun

10. Watch your thoughts, for they become words.Watch your .
Attributed to Mahatma Gandhi

11. Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our
response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Viktor Frankl
Freedom
Stimulus Response
to
Choose
Independent
Will
Imagination Conscience
Self-
Awareness
From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey (1989)

12. Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side;
my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for
God is always right. Abraham
Lincoln
CIRCLE OF
CIRCLE OF
INFLUENCE
CONCERN
( Negative energy
reduces the Circle of
Influence)
REACTIVE FOCUS
From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey (1989)

13. It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because
there‘s
nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The
activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.
Wayne Dyer
Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
Author Unknown
Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If
something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry: Worry never
fixes anything.
Ernest Hemingway

14. Concern should drive us into action and not into a depression. No
man is free who cannot control himself.
Pythogoras
CIRCLE OF
CIRCLE OF
INFLUENCE
CONCERN
(Positive energy
enlarges the Circle of
Influence)
From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey (1989)
PROACTIVE FOCUS

15. Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.
Viktor Frankl
From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey (1989)

16.  The habit of mutual benefit
 Win-Win means seeking solutions that allow every one to win.
 Successful relationships are built on a win-win foundation. A Win-Win
character consists of three traits: Integrity, Maturity & Trust
 Emotional Bank Account:
1. Understand the individual; show empathy
2. Attend to little needs; show kindness
3. Keep commitments & promises always
4. Clarify expectations
5. Show personal integrity and loyalty
6. Apologize sincerely when you make a withdrawal.
From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey (1989)

17.  To truly understand, we must listen to more than words.
 Empathy is listening with the eyes and the “heart.”
 Empathic listening is deep, active, reflective listening, and showing the
person that you are following, understanding and participating in his
feelings besides his words.
 Empathy is not sympathy or pity and never manipulative.
 You have to really care; false or put on empathy sucks and people
realize immediately.
Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but
manifestations of strength and resolution.
Kahlil Gibran

18. Physical
Exercise, Nutrition,
Recreation and Fun as an
individual, couple and family
&
Stress Management
Social/Emotional
Family Sharing, Couple
Sharing,
meaningful relationships and
activities,
Service, Empathy
Mental
Reading, Learning,
Visualizing
Planning, Writing
Have fun in your command. Don't
always run at a breakneck pace.
Take leave when you've earned
it: Spend time with your families.
Colin Powell
Spiritual
Value Clarification
& Commitment, Study
From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective & Prayer and Meditation
People. Stephen Covey (1989)

20. From Motivation and Personality by Abraham Maslow 1954
If your treat an individual... as if he
were what he ought to be and could be,
he will become what he ought to be
and could be.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If you plan on being anything
less than you are capable of
being, you will probably be
unhappy all the days of your life.
Abraham Maslow

21. People who give up easily,
habitually say:
 It’s me.
 It’s going to last forever.
 It’s going to undermine
everything I do.
Those who resist giving in to
misfortune say:
 It was just circumstances.
 It’s going away quickly
anyway.
 Besides there’s so much
more in life.
Permanence
Pervasiveness
Personalization
from Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman

22. The last of human freedoms - the ability to chose one's attitude in a given set
of circumstances. Viktor Frankl
From various authors whose work is based on that of Beck and Ellis

23.  Negative view of the self (e.g., I’m unlovable, ineffective)
 Negative view of the future (e.g., nothing will work out)
 Negative view of the world (e.g., world is hostile)
From various authors whose work is based on that of Beck and Ellis

24.  Negative thoughts about yourself, your world, or your future
 ATs are not given the same consideration as other thoughts but
rather they are assumed to be true
 They originate from shadow beliefs vs conscious beliefs
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future.”
Jeremiah 29: 11-12
From various authors whose work is based on that of Beck and Ellis

25. 1. I need love and approval from those around to me.
2. I must avoid disapproval from any source.
3. To be worthwhile as a person I must achieve success at whatever I do.
4. I cannot allow myself to make mistakes.
5. People should always do the right thing. When they behave obnoxiously, unfairly or
selfishly, they must be blamed and punished.
6. Things must be the way I want them to be.
7. My unhappiness is caused by things that are outside my control – so there is nothing I can
do to feel any better.
8. I must worry about things that could be dangerous, unpleasant or frightening – otherwise
they might happen.
9. I must avoid life’s difficulties, unpleasantness, and responsibilities.
10. Everyone needs to depend on someone stronger than themselves.
11. Events in my past are the cause of my problems – and they continue to influence my
feelings and behaviours now.
12. I should become upset when other people have problems, and feel unhappy when they’re
sad.
13, I shouldn’t have to feel discomfort and pain.
14, Every problem should have an ideal solution.
From various authors whose work is based on
that of Beck and Ellis

26. Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to
“be happy.” Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy
automatically. As we see, a human being is not one in pursuit of
happiness but rather in search of a reason to become happy through
actualizing the potential meaning inherent and dormant in a given
situation. Once an individual’s search for a meaning is successful, it not
only renders him happy but also gives him the capability to cope with
suffering-to express it in plain words, to become aware of what can be
done about a given situation
Man’s Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl
.

27.  1. Filtering.
 2. Polarized Thinking.
 3. Overgeneralization.
 4. Jumping to Conclusions.
 5. Catastrophizing.
 6. Personalization.
 7. Control Fallacies.
 8. Fallacy of Fairness.
 9. Blaming.
 10. Shoulds.
 11. Emotional Reasoning.
 12. Fallacy of Change.
 13. Global Labeling.
 14. Always Being Right.
 15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy.
From various authors whose work is based on that of Beck and Ellis

29. 29 www.eqindia.com
Emotional Intelligence is “the capacity for
recognizing our own feelings and those of
others, for motivating ourselves, and for
managing emotions well in ourselves and in our
relationships. Emotional intelligence describes
abilities distinct from, but complementary to,
academic intelligence.” Daniel Goleman (1998)
Emotional Intelligence, (Daniel Goleman)
Working with Emotional Intelligence (Daniel Goleman)
Primal Leadership - Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence
(Daniel Goleman)

30. Emotional Intelligence, (Daniel Goleman)
Working with Emotional Intelligence (Daniel Goleman)
Primal Leadership - Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence
(Daniel Goleman)

31. Emotional Intelligence, (Daniel Goleman)
Working with Emotional Intelligence (Daniel Goleman)
Primal Leadership - Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence (Daniel Goleman)

32. © 2006 Monika Lumsdaine
Analytical
Technical
World
Organized
Controlled
World
Imaginative
Trailblazing
World
Caring
Networked
World
The Whole Brain Business Book (Ned
Herrmann)
The Creative Brain (Ned Herrmann)

33. Authoritarian
Materialistic
Academic
Realistic
Reliable
Traditional
Task-driven
Bureaucratic
Experimental
Futuristic
Inventive
Flexible
Value-
Oriented
Humanistic
Cooperative
The Whole Brain Business Book (Ned Herrmann)
The Creative Brain (Ned Herrmann)

34. •Learns by
•acquirng and quantifying facts
•applying analysis and logic
•thinking through ideas
•building cases
•forming theories
•Learners respond to:
•formalized lectures
•data based content
•financial/technical case discussions
•text books and bibliographies
•programme learning
•behaviour modification
•Learners respond to:
•through planning
•sequential order
•organizational and
administrative case discussions
•text books
•behaviour modification
•programme learning
•structure
•lectures
•Learns by:
organizing and structuring
content
•sequencing content
•evaluating and testing
theories
•implementing course content
•Learns by:
•taking initiative
•exploring hidden
possibilities
•relying on intuition
•self discovery
•constructing concepts
•synthesizing content
•Learners respond to:
•spontaniety
•free flow
•experiential opportunities
•playfulness
•future oriented case discussion
•individuality
•aesthetics
•being involved
•Learners respond
to:
experiential
opportunities
•sensory movement
•music
•people oriented case
•discussions
•group interaction
•Learns by
•listening and sharing ideas
•integrating self experience with self
•moving and feeling
•harmonizing with content
•emotional involvement
What?
ANALYZER
Logical thinking
Analysis of facts
Critical evaluation
Processing
numbers
What if?
VISUALIZER
Conceptualizing
Strategic thinking
Imaginative design
Big-picture viewpoint
Detailed organization
Operational planning
Manuals, schedules
Preventive action
ORGANIZER
How
Social, interpersonal Care
giving, sensing Spiritual,
intuitive
Expressing ideas
PERSONALIZER
Why?

35.  Three Basic Concepts: Parent, Adult and Child
 Transactions: Among P, A and C
 P < -- > P
 A < -- > A
 C < -- > C
 There are 9 possible transactions
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis.
Eric Berne
I’m OK–You’re OK by Thomas Harris
Born to Win by Muriel James And Dorothy Jongeward

36. Parent- “Do as I do”
 Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on messages or lessons
learned from parents and other ‘parental’ or authoritarian sources
 Shoulds and should nots; oughts and ought nots; always and never
 Nurturing views (sympathetic, caring views)
 Critical views (fault finding, judgmental, condescending views)
Child- “What shall I do?”
 Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on child-like emotions,
impulses,
Adult- “I will be frank with you”
 Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on objective analysis of
information (data, facts)
 Make decisions based on logic, computations, probabilities, etc. (not emotion)
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis.
Eric Berne
I’m OK–You’re OK by Thomas Harris
Born to Win by Muriel James And Dorothy Jongeward

37.  Child
 Adult
 Parent in our Transactions.
 Biological conditions and chronological age are irrelevant to these
ego states.
 We shift from one ego state to another in transactions.
Parent- “Why don’t you prepare a time-table?”
Child- “What is the point when one cannot follow it?” – Becomes an
Adult.
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis.
Eric Berne
I’m OK–You’re OK by Thomas Harris
Born to Win by Muriel James And Dorothy Jongeward

38.  Parent Ego State – It
consists of experiences
from the first five years in
life. It is the state from
which behaviors to control
others are employed.
 Child Ego State – It is
“recorded” during the
parent ego state. State
when feelings rule.
 Adult Ego State – By
monitoring the parent and
child ego states, it alters
automatic behaviors that
would normally occur. Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis.
Eric Berne
I’m OK–You’re OK by Thomas Harris
Born to Win by Muriel James And Dorothy Jongeward

39.  See and hear what you see and hear, rather than what you are supposed to see and hear.
 Think what you think, rather than what you are supposed to think.
 Feel what you feel, rather than what you are supposed to feel.
 Want what you want, rather than what you are supposed to want.
 Imagine what you imagine, rather than what you are supposed to imagine
 Seek to avoid being created by others in their image and to create others in your image.
 Avoid judging others
 Be there for people when they need you, not for the purpose of giving advice or for being
appreciated, but just to be there for them.
 Enjoy the validation and support from others when it comes to you, but do not expect it or be
disappointed if it does not happen.
 Practice sharing your genuine thoughts and feelings, your joys and your successes, your
concerns, and your fears with the people your trust and love, and who embrace the same values
as you. You will be amazed how your life will be enriched.

40.  “Never give in, never give in, never; never;
never; never - in nothing, great or small, large
or petty - never give in except to convictions of
honor and good sense”
Winston Churchill