Conflict Engagement and Change Management in Libraries

1. Playing Nice in the Sandbox Project Phoenix Dan Wiseman Wiseman Consulting and Training [email_address]

7. THINK MORE THAN YOU TALK & TALK LESS THAN YOU LISTEN THINK > TALK TALK < LISTEN Think > listen > talk

11. “ The shortest distance between two people is a laugh. ” Victor Borge

12. Shift Perspective

14. Communicating During Conflict Create the Space : Right time, place, emotional level. Be Open: Seek first to understand. Be specific: Use I statements.. (I feel, I am concerned about, this is what I saw) Separate inventing from deciding: Generate multiple options before voting Speak for yourself: Let others have their say. Respect the rights of those not present. Use a Parking Lot Process: Set aside issues not appropriate to the meeting Focus on Interests not Positions: . Use language like “help me understand the reasoning on that” “Or how does this issue impact you”? Clarify your intentions: “what is your purpose? Or “What would you like out of this process?” Generate proposals: Such as “What I suggest is”….? “We could do”..? “My preference is to” … Agree on what you can: “I can agree with you on that”...” Or “it seems as if we both agree on”….? Or I can agree that we are stuck. Realize that some issues are wicked and can not be solved?

16. Sometimes Pigs Can Fly

18. Conflict Resources Never Call Them Jerks-Healthy Responses to Difficult Behavior by Arthur Paul Boers (Alban Institute) Conflicts, A Better Way to Resolve Them by Edward de Bono Getting Together and Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher, Scott Brown, And William Ury) Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh with foreword by Dalai Lama The Third Way by William Ury Managing Transitions by William Bridges Turning to One Another by Margaret Wheatly Is There No Other Way by Michael Nagel Gifts Differing Understanding Personality Type by Isabel Briggs Myers The Anxious Organization-Why Smart Companies Do Dumb Things by Jeffery A. Miller (Facts on Demand Press) Dealing with People You Can’t Strand (How to bring out the best in people at their worst) by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner). McGraw-Hill. Non Violent Communication a Language of Life by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg Fierce Conversations-Achieving Success at Work &In Life-One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott