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Dealing with a difficult
coworker
Dealing with a difficult coworker
A story – The wise man and his nasty friend
• A long time ago, there was
an old man who lived near
a village and was well
known for his wisdom and
teachings.
• He used to share his
knowledge through
lectures and meetings and
his whole community was
very pleased for having
him around.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
A story – The wise man and his nasty friend

• However, he used to be
followed by a man that
disagreed and criticized his
blessed messages.
• That nasty person was
always trying to damage his
image around the village.
• And because of that many
people didn’t like him.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
A story – The wise man and his nasty friend

• After few years, the nasty man
became very sick and died.
• And many people noticed that
the wise man was quite sad
during the funeral services.
• And then, someone decided to
ask him the reasons of his
sadness and concerns.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
A story – The wise man and his nasty friend
• “Master, why are you so sad?”
• “Well, today a good friend of mine has
died.”
• “But how could he be your friend?
Since he was behaving badly, trying to
damage your image, teaching and
always questioning you.”
• “Believe me, he was the only one that
pushed me to improve myself, helping
me to think and rethink about my words
and actions without any flattering
comments”.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
A difficult point-of-view

• We need to agree that it is
very difficult to accept
the wise man’s teachings
when he referred to a
nasty person.
• And no one would like to
have a friend like that.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Main benefits

• But it is important to bear
in mind that in many
cases, such negative
people help us:
– to be more aware of our
own attitudes,
– to keep control,
– to behave better and
– to go even further.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Introduction – 05 Strategies

• But besides that we would
like to share 05 strategies
to deal with a nasty coworker.
• Remembering that he or
she could be your real
friend.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Strategy 01 – Be prepared for a conflict

• The best way to deal with a conflict is
to anticipate it, developing ways to
handle a debate, remembering:
–
–
–
–
–
–
–

Don’t be wishy-washy.
Do uphold your morals and values
Don’t be arrogant.
Be self-confident.
Be willing to compromise.
Don’t let him/her get under your skin.
Keep control of the situation.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Strategy 02 – Don’t fuel the fire
• Don´t try to retaliate since it
could be the worst thing you can
do.
• Any exchange of negative words
will fuel such destructive
relationship and you are opening
the door for them to make you
look like the bad guy.
• Instead, use the oldest trick in the
book:
– Kill it with kindness.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Strategy 03 – Lend a helping hand
• Although not beneficial in all
situations, sometimes a difficult
person is simply a troubled
person looking for a friend.
• Unfortunately, this co-worker
ends up making enemies instead
of friends because they don’t
have the necessary social skills.
• Break down that barrier and you
may find someone who could use
as a friend.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Strategy 04 – Get a third-party involved

• No matter how competent and
wonderful a person you are,
you just can’t win everyone
over.
• If a difficult co-worker is not
receptive to your attempts at
defusing the situation, enlist a
neutral third-party to help
navigate the choppy waters.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Strategy 05 – Move on
• You tried to make nice, and it just
didn’t work.
• There comes a point where you
have to hang up your hat and admit
that the situation just isn’t going to
resolve itself.
• If you can honestly say you gave it
your best shot and you’re still stuck
with a disruptive co-worker, it’s
not worth the stress to work day in
and day out in a combative
environment.
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Our References
•

The following are referenced in this
presentation:
– Insider Toolbox
http://www.aftermarket.org/Magazine/In
siderArchives/Toolbox/DifficultCoWor
kers.aspx
– Ivillage
http://www.ivillage.com/20-ways-dealdifficult-co-workers/4-a-283591
– Real Simple
http://www.realsimple.com/worklife/etiquette/rude-coworkers00100000077253/index.html
– The Manager´s Minute
http://www.nationalseminarstraining.co
m/managersminute/MGRMIN_0811/arti
cle1.cfm
Dealing with a difficult coworker
Our Business Contacts
Feel free to send us an e-mail.
Our Website:
www.licoreis.com
Our E-mail:
licoreis@licoreis.com
licoreis@licoreis.com.br

Linkedin: Roberto de Paula Lico Júnior
Skype: roberto.lico

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Dealing with a difficult coworker

  • 1. Dealing with a difficult coworker
  • 2. Dealing with a difficult coworker A story – The wise man and his nasty friend • A long time ago, there was an old man who lived near a village and was well known for his wisdom and teachings. • He used to share his knowledge through lectures and meetings and his whole community was very pleased for having him around.
  • 3. Dealing with a difficult coworker A story – The wise man and his nasty friend • However, he used to be followed by a man that disagreed and criticized his blessed messages. • That nasty person was always trying to damage his image around the village. • And because of that many people didn’t like him.
  • 4. Dealing with a difficult coworker A story – The wise man and his nasty friend • After few years, the nasty man became very sick and died. • And many people noticed that the wise man was quite sad during the funeral services. • And then, someone decided to ask him the reasons of his sadness and concerns.
  • 5. Dealing with a difficult coworker A story – The wise man and his nasty friend • “Master, why are you so sad?” • “Well, today a good friend of mine has died.” • “But how could he be your friend? Since he was behaving badly, trying to damage your image, teaching and always questioning you.” • “Believe me, he was the only one that pushed me to improve myself, helping me to think and rethink about my words and actions without any flattering comments”.
  • 6. Dealing with a difficult coworker A difficult point-of-view • We need to agree that it is very difficult to accept the wise man’s teachings when he referred to a nasty person. • And no one would like to have a friend like that.
  • 7. Dealing with a difficult coworker Main benefits • But it is important to bear in mind that in many cases, such negative people help us: – to be more aware of our own attitudes, – to keep control, – to behave better and – to go even further.
  • 8. Dealing with a difficult coworker Introduction – 05 Strategies • But besides that we would like to share 05 strategies to deal with a nasty coworker. • Remembering that he or she could be your real friend.
  • 9. Dealing with a difficult coworker Strategy 01 – Be prepared for a conflict • The best way to deal with a conflict is to anticipate it, developing ways to handle a debate, remembering: – – – – – – – Don’t be wishy-washy. Do uphold your morals and values Don’t be arrogant. Be self-confident. Be willing to compromise. Don’t let him/her get under your skin. Keep control of the situation.
  • 10. Dealing with a difficult coworker Strategy 02 – Don’t fuel the fire • Don´t try to retaliate since it could be the worst thing you can do. • Any exchange of negative words will fuel such destructive relationship and you are opening the door for them to make you look like the bad guy. • Instead, use the oldest trick in the book: – Kill it with kindness.
  • 11. Dealing with a difficult coworker Strategy 03 – Lend a helping hand • Although not beneficial in all situations, sometimes a difficult person is simply a troubled person looking for a friend. • Unfortunately, this co-worker ends up making enemies instead of friends because they don’t have the necessary social skills. • Break down that barrier and you may find someone who could use as a friend.
  • 12. Dealing with a difficult coworker Strategy 04 – Get a third-party involved • No matter how competent and wonderful a person you are, you just can’t win everyone over. • If a difficult co-worker is not receptive to your attempts at defusing the situation, enlist a neutral third-party to help navigate the choppy waters.
  • 13. Dealing with a difficult coworker Strategy 05 – Move on • You tried to make nice, and it just didn’t work. • There comes a point where you have to hang up your hat and admit that the situation just isn’t going to resolve itself. • If you can honestly say you gave it your best shot and you’re still stuck with a disruptive co-worker, it’s not worth the stress to work day in and day out in a combative environment.
  • 14. Dealing with a difficult coworker Our References • The following are referenced in this presentation: – Insider Toolbox http://www.aftermarket.org/Magazine/In siderArchives/Toolbox/DifficultCoWor kers.aspx – Ivillage http://www.ivillage.com/20-ways-dealdifficult-co-workers/4-a-283591 – Real Simple http://www.realsimple.com/worklife/etiquette/rude-coworkers00100000077253/index.html – The Manager´s Minute http://www.nationalseminarstraining.co m/managersminute/MGRMIN_0811/arti cle1.cfm
  • 15. Dealing with a difficult coworker Our Business Contacts Feel free to send us an e-mail. Our Website: www.licoreis.com Our E-mail: licoreis@licoreis.com licoreis@licoreis.com.br Linkedin: Roberto de Paula Lico Júnior Skype: roberto.lico

Notas do Editor

  1. Last year, the inability to produce subpoenaed e-mail resulted in million dollar—even billion dollar—lawsuits against U.S. companies.