1. Are You REALLY Listening?
Of all the component skills of communication
(speaking, writing, reading, listening), for most
people, LISTENING is the hardest skill to learn.
And yet….
“To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and
influence as to talk well.” - John Marshall (1755-1835)
4th Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court
2. • Sometimes we may hear what someone is
saying without really listening.
• In your opinion, what’s the difference
between hearing and listening?
3. • Successful communication requires ACTIVE
LISTENING.
• What’s the difference between passive
listening and active listening?
4. How to be an ACTIVE Listener:
• 1. Be attentive. FOCUS on the speaker.
• 2. Use nonverbal actions to show you are listening.
– relaxed posture
– head-nodding
– facial expression
– relaxed body expression
– eye contact
• 3. Listen with an accepting attitude.
5.
6. • 4.Ask some questions to demonstrate that you are
sincerely interested.
• 5. Use reflections and restatements frequently to
try to communicate to the person what you think
they are saying and test for understanding.
Practice “mirroring.”
7. • 6. Use encouraging words to show you are
listening and to invite speaker to continue.
– "I see."
– "Right."
– "Uh, huh.”
– "Tell me more."
– "Sounds like you have some ideas on this."
– "I'm interested in what you have to say."
– "Let's talk about it."
8. THINGS TO AVOID
While Being an Active Listener
1. DO NOT INTERRUPT!!!
2. Do not interrogate. Limit the number of
questions you ask so that you are not "drilling"
them.
9. 3. Do not try to think of your response in your own
head while you are listening.
4. Do not change the subject.
10. 5. Do not be judgmental. Avoid phrases like:
– "Are you sure?"
– "You shouldn't feel that way."
– "It’s not that bad."
– You're making something out of nothing.”
– "That's a dumb question.”
11. • According to Sean Covey, author of The7
Habits of Highly Effective Teens, there are five
different poor listening styles. Are you guilty
of any of these?
1. Spacing out
2. Pretend listening
3. Selective listening
4. Word listening
5. Self-centered listening
• Judging
• advising
• probing
12. • 1. Spacing out occurs when we are so tuned
out to what someone is saying it’s like we’re in
another world.
13. • 2. Pretend listening happens when someone is
not really listening but acts like they are
because they make comments once in awhile
as the speaker is talking by saying things like
“yeah,” “uh-huh,” “awesome.”
14. • 3. Selective listening means that the listener
is only paying attention to the parts of the
conversation that interest him.
15. • 4. Word listening means that you pay
attention only to the words that someone is
saying, and not to their body language.
16. • 5. Self-centered listening happens when we hear
everything from our own point of view, not the
point of view of the speaker.
• There are three types of self-centered listening:
17. • judging – sometimes we make judgments
about the speaker instead of listening
18. • advising – sometimes we give advice instead
of just listening
19. • probing – this happens when we question
and try to dig up emotions before the speaker
is ready to share them
• Do your parents ever do this to you?