This document discusses principles for direct and accessible writing. It advocates eliminating nominalizations ("zombie nouns") that obscure meaning, such as using "investigated" instead of "investigation." It also recommends reducing "vampire verbs" like "to be" and "to have" in favor of stronger, more specific verbs. Additionally, it suggests creating structure using headings and topic sentences, writing in plain English, and using specific examples to clarify meaning. The overall goal is to write clearly and directly so that readers can easily understand the information presented.
2. CONCEPT 3: BEING DIRECT
Principles:
1. Eliminate “zombie
nouns” (aka
nominalizations)
where possible.
2. Replace “vampire
verbs” (to be, to
have) with more
active, specific ones.
3. Principle 1 for directness: Eliminate “zombie nouns”
(aka nominalizations). Use strong, specific nouns
instead.
efficiency
performance
reliability
attention
knowledge
relationships
functionality
If it ends in…
-tion -ism
-ity -ment
-ness -age
-ance/ence -ship
-ability -acy
…it’s probably a
“zombie noun.”
4. Examples:
The proliferation of nominalizations in a
discursive formation may be an indication of a
tendency toward pomposity and abstraction.
---
Objective considerations of contemporary
phenomena compel the conclusion that success or
failure in competitive activities exhibits no
tendency to be commensurate with innate
capacity, but that a considerable element of the
unpredictable must invariably be taken into
account.
5. Eliminating “zombie nouns”: Find the verb
hidden in the nominalization and make it work
in the sentence.
-after an “empty verb”:
The police conducted an investigation of the matter.
The police investigated the matter.
-after “there is” or “there are”:
There was considerable erosion of the land from the floods.
The floods eroded the land considerably.
-when the nominalization is the subject of an empty verb:
Our intention is to audit the records of the program.
We intend to audit the program’s records.
6. What verbs are at the root of these commonly
used “zombie nouns”?
Relation
Improvement
Observation
Reference
Application
Development
Connection
Analysis
Utilization
Variability
Conformity
Recommendation
7. Principle 2 for directness: Reduce the use of “vampire
verbs” (to be and to have). Use active, specific verbs
instead.
Examples:
When the interplanting of
garlic chives with tomatoes
is performed, bacterial wilt
is suppressed.
The church had a door
that dated back to the 14th
century. The door had
weather-bleached wood
and pitted iron bindings.
8.
9. MAKE ME NOT SUCK:
In a healthy cell, DNA molecules located within
the mitochondria are directly responsible for
the production of energy. This energy is
used by the human body for everyday
activities, which include walking, talking,
sleeping, eating, and breathing. However,
when AZT is introduced to the body, the
mitochondria is unable to perform its major
function of energy production.
10. CONCEPT 4: BEING ACCESSIBLE
Principles:
1. Write in “plain English” where
possible.
2. Create structure by using
headings and topic sentences.
3. Replace general terms with
specific examples where possible.
11. Principle 1 for accessibility: Write in “plain
English” wherever you can.
Learned “Official Style” (bureaucratese):
“A romantic relationship is ongoing between Sarah and
Bill.” OR “One can easily see that an interactive
romantic relationship is currently being fulfilled
between Sarah and Bill.”
Why not: “Sarah and Bill are dating.”?
12. Principle 2 for accessibility: Create structure by
using headings and topic sentences (“sign
posts”).
HEADINGS serve as markers for information.
TOPIC SENTENCES organize information in a paragraph.
13. Read this (or try to….it won’t make much sense).
Sally first tried setting loose a team of gophers. The
plan backfired when a dog chased them away. She
then entertained a group of teenagers and was
delighted when they brought their motorcycles.
Unfortunately, she failed to find a Peeping Tom listed
in the Yellow Pages. Furthermore, her stereo
system was not loud enough. The crab grass might
have worked, but she didn’t have a fan that was
sufficiently powerful. The obscene phone calls gave
her hope until the number was changed. She
thought about calling a door to door salesman but
decided to hang up a clothesline instead. It was the
installation of blinking neon lights across the street
that did the trick. She eventually framed the ad from
the classified section.
14. Notice how the topic sentence clears up confusion.
Sally disliked her neighbors and wanted them to leave the
area. Sally first tried setting loose a team of gophers.
The plan backfired when a dog chased them away.
She then entertained a group of teenagers and was
delighted when they brought their motorcycles.
Unfortunately, she failed to find a Peeping Tom listed
in the Yellow Pages. Furthermore, her stereo
system was not loud enough. The crab grass might
have worked, but she didn’t have a fan that was
sufficiently powerful. The obscene phone calls gave
her hope until the number was changed. She
thought about calling a door to door salesman but
decided to hang up a clothesline instead. It was the
installation of blinking neon lights across the street
that did the trick. She eventually framed the ad from
the classified section.
15. Principle 3 for accessibility: Replace or anchor
general terms with specific examples where
possible.
Example of a general statement:
“Since the design of the plant, we have made major
advances in solar technology.”
The general statement anchored with a specific
example:
“Since the design of the plant, we have made major
advances in solar technology. For example,
experiments have show that using molten salt as the
heat transfer fluid could increase plant efficiency from
17% to 25%.”