Poise and Posture

© Copyright Modern Finishing School

Modern Finishing School
An eCourse on Elegant Living for
Modern Women

Week 1

Issues Covered
1 The History of
Finishing Schools
What is a Finishing School?
2 Personal Presence
and Impact A finishing school (or charm school) is typically defined as “a
private school for girls focused on training in cultural and social
3 Perfect Posture activities." Switzerland is known for its private finishing
schools, such as Institut Alpin Videmanette (now closed),
where Diana, Princess of Wales studied. In the old days, girls
4
from privileged families, after graduating from high school,
Compelling Speech would be sent to Finishing School in order to learn the social
graces that would help them to live more elegant lives and find
a suitable husband.

Fashion of a bygone era: Debutante wearing Charles Worth
Charles Frederick Worth (1825 - 1895) is widely considered to be the father of Haute Couture
and was responsible for dressing a generation of girls for their Cotillion, or Debutante Ball.
Worth was English-born but spent most of his life in Paris, where he dressed famous women
including the Austrian Princess Pauline von Metternich (pictured) and the infamous beauty
Virginia Oldini, Countess of Castiglione.

Week 1 © Modern Finishing School

Can you re-imagine your best self?
That time has passed. The project your desires disciplines of the last century.
modern woman no longer • Making others feel at ease Without training, many of us
sees getting married as her • Creating a well-edited suffer from the typical
only goal in life, nor does she wardrobe on any budget symptoms of weak, rounded
have the time to learn shoulders, a forward-jutting
embroidery and needlepoint. head, and a belly that sticks
Now that the finishing
And yet, an increasing out. This makes us look
schools of the last century are
number of modern women weak, tired and uninspiring.
shutting their doors, women
are discovering that some of
from all walks of life, whether
the skills taught at these old- In contrast, standing out by
students, professionals or full-
fashioned finishing schools standing up straight can make
time moms, are turning to the
are still relevant today. an incredible difference to the
Modern Finishing School
eCourse in order to benefit way we are perceived by
Finishing Schools help from the study of others.
students learn fundamental comportment, etiquette and
life skills such as: style.

• Knowing how to maintain No matter what our goals, we
elegant posture and experience greater success
control facial expressions when we are poised and
• Mastering the arts of food confident.
and wine
• Using body language to Posture is one of the forgotten

Elegance begins with good posture…

2


Posture and
Balance
Achieving perfect posture is easy.

We begin by simply ‘unlearning’ our bad habits…

Then we develop some good habits to replace them.

We’ve all been told a million
Benefits of perfect posture What is good posture? times not to slouch, but if you
include: have difficulty remembering,
Good posture means standing
• Portray a more confident try wearing a new bracelet –
with a straight spine, your
and optimistic image every time you see it
shoulders rolled back and your
throughout the day, it will
• Instantly make yourself shoulder blades pulled down
serve as a discrete reminder to
look 5 lbs slimmer and inwards, with your weight
sit/stand up straight. It goes
• Improve circulation and distributed evenly between
digestion both feet and your chin level
• Reduce the risk of with the ground. Your lower
muscular aches and pains spine is naturally curved, so
• Allow you to breath more take care not to over-correct
easily, which will improve your posture. Standing up
voice quality and straight like a military officer,
projection, making you poking the chest out and
appear more confident tilting the head too far back is
actually just as unhealthy as Fitness balls can be a
slouching. The most fun way to practice
At old-fashioned Finishing good posture while
important thing is to relax!
Schools, girls would walk watching television
Your body should not be rigid
with books balanced on top
or tense. Remember, posture is without saying that the main
of their heads to improve
simply the word we use to downside of slouching is
their posture, holding their
describe the position in which turning into the Hunchback of
heads high. Feel free to try
the body is naturally designed Notre Dame. But getting rid of
this at home, but the
to function. the slouch will also make you
suggestions below may be
look more confident and
more practical!

3

optimistic, which will affect sciatic nerve. Old Habit # 2: Cradling your
the way you are perceived. phone in your shoulder.
Even if you are at your desk,
Part of developing good there are simple exercises you This creates a tilt in your spine
posture is letting go of bad and can ultimately lead to
habits. back pain. If you don’t want
to look like a telephone
operator with a hands-free
Old Habit # 1: Sitting still headset, just remember to
for most of the day. switch shoulders! After
Our bodies were designed to hanging up the phone, try a
The ‘bridge pose’, used
move around and sitting at a few head circles, and then
in yoga and Pilates,
desk all day simply isn’t lower your ear toward your
opens the chest and
natural! Apart from being shoulder without arching your
helps strengthen and
terribly boring, this will lead back. Hold for 30 seconds, then
lengthen the spine
to tightness in the hips and
can eventually pinch the can do to relieve the pressure
on your body. Try sitting
with your right ankle on
your left thigh and lean
forward to feel a stretch in
your hips. Hold for 30
seconds, switch legs and
repeat. Then stand up and
reach for your toes, relaxing
your neck. Hold for 10
The ‘cat stretch’ is a seconds and feel the stretch
yoga stretch that helps in the back of your thighs
to open up your chest and lower back.
and back

Audrey Hepburn’s posture is the epitome of elegance
Try visualizing yourself as a slouch if you imagine
favorite movie star or celebrity yourself as Audrey Hepburn ballerina but as an adult, her
– ideally one from the Golden in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. main form of exercise was
Age of Hollywood, when Although she was not tall by walking briskly. She loved
perfect posture was more modeling standards, her walking, whether on the streets
common, such as Audrey posture was world-renowned of Manhattan or in the
Hepburn or Grace Kelly. and made her look elegant and mountains of the Swiss Alps,
You will find it impossible to perfectly proportioned. As a where she had a summer home.
young girl, she trained as a

4


million and one known New Habit # 2: Visualize
benefits, and improving yourself with perfect posture
posture is one of these. In Visualization techniques can be
particular, yoga and Pilates are a powerful way to enact
extremely beneficial for changes in your life. For
repeat on the other side. posture, as both will help you
perfect posture, imagine there
to strengthen your core is a ribbon tied to the top of
muscles and protect your spine. your head that is pulling you
Old Habit # 3: Crossed legs
There are dozens of variants of gently up towards the ceiling.
Although many of us were
yoga and Pilates, with different
taught that sitting with crossed
levels of difficulty; some
legs is ladylike, it twists your
involve meditation and others Your body should be evenly
spine and disrupts your natural
will feel like an ordinary distributed over both feet, and
posture, and has been linked to
stretching class, so try to find a you can imagine that there are
the appearance of varicose
style that suits you. Of course, weights in both hands, pulling
veins.
reading about exercise is no the shoulders down away from
substitute for a professional your ears, shoulder blades
Try sitting with your feet flat instructor, so we recommend neatly tucked in.
on the floor. If you catch that you try your local gym or
yourself sitting with crossed purchase a DVD to use at
home. If you are not sure New Habit # 3: Get a
legs, make a few slow ankle
where to start, try Kristin massage
circles, clockwise then
counterclockwise for 30 McGee’s yoga and Pilates Many postural problems
seconds on each foot. Then DVDs for beginners. originate from tension in the
stand up and do five squats to (www.kristenmcgee.com) neck, which restricts the
get the blood flowing (with feet head’s movement. If you
hip distance, sit back as though allow your head to move
However, there are many forms
to sit in a chair, then come freely you will feel your entire
of exercise that can improve
back up). spine lengthen. A neck and
posture, from light weight
shoulder massage will help to
New Habit # 1: Strengthening training to running to dance
eliminate this tension,
your spine through exercise classes. Most importantly, find
making it a great way to
Physical exercise has about a something that you enjoy!
renew your commitment to
perfect posture.

5


Voice and
Projection
With practice, anyone can modulate their voice
in a way that compels others to listen.

If you do not wish to spend essential role in commanding simply to become conscious
the money on a professional the attention of your listeners. of our good and bad speech
spa massage, try enlisting the habits.
help of your friends or family, Many people say that public Are you mumbling, as though
or purchase a hand-held speaking is their number one you lack confidence in what
massager. Getting a massage fear, outranking death and you’re saying?
has other health benefits as divorce. Our anxiety about
well, like improved blood speaking in public may Are you rushing through your
circulation, which speeds up prevent us from reaching our words too quickly, perhaps
the delivery of oxygen and fullest potential since we may due to a subconscious fear
nutrients to your cells. The try to avoid situations that that your partner is
perfect excuse to indulge! could advance our career or disinterested and wants to go
personal goals. Even do something else?
experienced performers can
What does your voice say
experience stage fright; the
about you? Is your voice too quiet,
key is knowing how to
Learning how to master your signaling submissiveness, or
manage those emotions in
voice can help you to make a too loud, suggesting
any context, so that the ‘real
lasting impression in every aggression?
you’ can shine through.
aspect of your life. And yet,
most of us have never Only you can assess whether
Speaking well is a learned
thought about how we can your voice is portraying the
skill
improve our impact through person you want to be. Try
speech. We tend not to think about using a tape recorder to
the way we speak in our
record yourself speaking so
every day lives. Speech
Whether it is getting your that you can get a better idea
becomes involuntary; we of the way you sound to
opinion across in meetings,
forget about delivery as we others. Don’t worry if your
giving compelling
focus on the content of what
presentations, or just being voice sounds strange to you
we are saying. The first and
more influential in a social at first! This is normal,
most fundamental step is
setting, your voice plays an

6


because we are not over words, or losing your
accustomed to hearing train of thought.
ourselves. The tape will still
be helpful in analyzing what • Pronunciation is clear
you like and don’t like about Clarity of speech is
your speaking voice. important. If you mumble
your words people are likely
What makes a compelling to think you are not sure of
speaking voice? what you’re saying, or that
The fundamentals of you lack confidence.
powerful speech are quite Professional actresses all
straightforward. It just practice elocution exercises to Confidence is conveyed
improve the clarity of their through your tone of
requires practice!
speech. Try some from the voice
list below!
A compelling voice:
of too slow rather than too
• Sounds relaxed
• Speed is controlled fast, because we typically
It helps if you can actually
Rushing through your words think that we speak more
feel relaxed (more on this
makes it clear to your slowly than we really do.
later), but in the meantime,
audience that either you can’t Natural speech will vary
try to determine whether you
wait for this conversation/ slightly in speed. For
are showing any of the telltale
speech to be finished, or you example, try to insert a longer
signs of stress when you
suspect that they can’t wait. pause just before or just after
speak, such as feeling short of
In most cases, err on the side you introduce a new idea.
breath, flushing, stumbling

Vocal Exercises can improve clarity and diction

They sound funny, but most professional speakers use tongue twisters like these before an engagement to
improve their diction.

• High roller, low roller, lower roller. imagining managing an imaginary
• I need a box of biscuits, a box of mixed menagerie.
biscuits, and a biscuit mixer. • The free thugs set three thugs free.
• He thrusts his fists against the posts and still • She stood on the balcony inexplicably
insists he sees the ghosts. mimicking him hiccupping and amicably
• Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager welcoming him in.

7


Exercise is a great way to release
nervous energy…

This gives people time to
absorb what you are saying,
and tends to leave a stronger
impression. while you are speaking.
relaxation to reduce fear of
Practice integrating these public speaking.
• Tone is varied
techniques
Our tone of voice will impact
In order to make these • What’s the worst case
whether or not our audience
powerful speaking techniques scenario
believes we are sincere. A
feel like second nature to us, Chances are, the stakes are
monotone voice may leave
it’s important that we first try lower than you think. What’s
them doubting our motives,
to adopt them in our the worst that could happen?
or they may perceive us as
everyday lives - in the How likely is this in reality?
boring even if the content of
supermarket, at work or There are very few public
what we are saying is very
school, when speaking with speaking mishaps that are
stimulating.
friends. Aim for gradual truly disastrous.
change, focusing on one new
When we speak naturally, we
aspect of speech every day, • Exercise releases nervous
change our tone of voice in
until you start to feel a energy
accordance with what we are
difference. Then, when it As mentioned before, there
saying. This makes us sound
matters most, you will are a million and one reasons
more dynamic and is key to
remember what it felt like to to exercise, and here is
holding peoples’ attention.
give a compelling speech. another one – it really is the
Try raising or lowering the
tone of your voice in order to best way to release nervous
emphasize an important Overcoming anxiety energy.
point, or to convey your Once you begin to feel the
passion about the subject results of your improved “Sometimes, when I have an
matter. speaking technique, it’s time important presentation in the
to focus on higher stake afternoon, I will pencil in an
• Smile and be cheerful situations. Anxiety can hour at lunchtime to work out at
sometimes leave us tongue- the gym or go for a run. When
Your voice will instinctively
tied, but there are many I’m really worried, it’s the only
sound more natural and relax
effective methods of thing that will help me to get the
if you smile now and then

8


anxiety out of my system.” yourself a favour and expect Keep inhaling until the
- Sarah K., Fund Manager the best. middle of your chest is full of
air and you feel your rib cage
• Visualization • Breathing Exercises expand. Hold the breath in
It’s important to keep for a moment, then begin to
One of the most important
practicing the perfect posture exhale as slowly as possible.
tools you can use to enact any
change in your life is to techniques from the previous
visualize success. Replace section, because these will As the air is slowly let out,
negative thoughts by allow you to breathe deeply relax your chest and rib cage.
imagining in as much detail and help to prevent anxiety. Begin to pull your belly in to
as possible what it will feel Once your body is aligned force out the remaining
like when you achieve your and relaxed, think of breath. Relax your facial
goal! Picture the setting, the something that makes you muscles as you exhale and
faces you will see, the words smile, like a loved one, or feel yourself start to let go of
you will hear yourself saying something amusing that any anxiety. Think to
and the way you will sound – happened earlier in the week. yourself, “I’m glad I’m here
clear, confident, poised and and I’m glad you’re here!”
polished. It’s important that you Smile, and begin to speak.
actually smile, because the
Most importantly, picture simple act of smiling sends a Practice this exercise at home
your audience smiling and message to your brain that and just before an important
nodding as they listen to you you are feeling happy, speaking engagement in order
speak. We can never fully relaxed and confident, and to clear your mind.
control the reception we will can help regulate your
receive, but if you expect the emotions. Then, place your
worse, the audience will hands on your abdomen and
subconsciously pick up on relax your belly muscles.
your negativity and respond Take a deep breath and feel
in a more negative way. Do the belly fill up with air.

9


Goal Setting Exercise
The old –fashioned finishing school was about
turning girls into “perfect” women.

But the perfect woman doesn’t exist!

All we can do is imagine ourselves the way we would
like to be – a more elegant version of ourselves.

Use this exercise to get the most out of
your experience in Week 1

Remember, you are your
own harshest critic!

More than anything, I would like _________. Next time we speak, I doing________.
to accomplish_________ in my will try to focus on _________.
personal life. I believe that the only When I am speaking to others in
thing holding me back is There are some situations in which any public setting, I will focus in
________________. I feel awkward or uncertain, for particular on three things I would
example_________ and _________. like to improve: ______________,
I will endeavor to work on the I will do my best to think about my ______________, and
following 3 skills in order to posture and the way I project my ______________.
achieve this dream_______, voice in these situations, in order to
_________, and_________. feel more confident and poised. I think the most amazing public
speaker is _________. I especially
My academic/professional I really admire ______________, like the way she_________.
reputation would really benefit if I and the way she ______________.
achieved the following skills: I will try to adopt this habit by Part of living an elegant life is
_________, _________, and ______________. treating myself once in awhile. I
_________. I will practice these will be working hard this week on
skills by doing _______. I think my personal presence and improving _______. As a reward, I
impact would be improved if I will treat myself to __________.
My relationship with _______ is ___________. I will try to make
really important to me. I think we this change by doing ___________. I will remember that I am my own
would really benefit if I could harshest critic! This week I am
improve our conversations about I tend to feel anxious proud of myself for achieving
_______. when__________. I will overcome __________.
I find it really difficult speaking to my anxiety by visualizing myself

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