The document discusses how to be a great conversationalist and communicator. It provides tips on making others feel important through body language, verbal communication, listening skills, and focusing the conversation on the other person. The key aspects of communication highlighted are creating conversation chemistry, keeping the discussion engaging, and incorporating the three main ways humans connect which are visual/non-verbal cues, verbal storytelling, and being an empathetic listener.

1. Be the Captain of Your Table
By
Andrea Nierenberg
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2. The deepest craving of human nature is
the need to feel valued and valuable. To
be a great conversationalist–make others
feel important.
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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3. Be the Captain of Your Table
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Create conversation chemistry.
Get your point across.
Keep the conversation going.
Incorporate the 3 ways we communicate for
any social situation.
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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4. Visual & Non-Verbal
Body Language and What We Silently Communicate
• What impression are you really making?
• What are the body signals that show you’re:
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–
–
–
–
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Interested?
Bored?
Excited?
Want to get away?
Intimidated?
Attracted?
• What are the insights detected by others as you speak?
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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5. Verbal
The secret to telling a good story:
• Prepare & Plan ahead!
– Know your audience and try to find out who
you’ll be meeting.
– Keep it SHORT!!!
– Organize a beginning, middle
and end.
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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6. GREAT Communicators
The mysterious qualities that make one
person charismatic and likeable and
another less so have been contemplated
by philosophers and business people
throughout the years.
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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7. GREAT Communicators
Seven qualities that the finest communicators
always possess:
1. Confident and secure in their curiosity and
charisma factor
2. Appreciate those who help them
3. Nurture relationships consistently–
focus on the other person
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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8. GREAT Communicators
4. Tenacious in going around obstacles
5. Excellent listeners
6. Rebound quickly and completely from
rejection–don’t take it personally
7. Friendly and approachable.
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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9. The Five A’s
How to be extremely interesting and memorable:
• Accept Others As They Are – refrain from criticizing or
critiquing unless asked
• Appreciation – making someone else feel good–often by
sincerely saying “thank you”
• Approval – “babies cry for it” – “adults die for it”–look for
ways to give praise
• Admiration – Abraham Lincoln “Everybody likes a
compliment’”
• Attention – showing value and being present creates
chemistry
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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10. Ways to Win
People to Your Way
of Thinking —Dale Carnegie
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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11. Avoid arguments.
Show respect for the other person's opinions.
Never tell someone they are wrong.
If you're wrong, admit it quickly and
emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Start with questions the other person will answer
yes to.
Let the other person do the talking.
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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12. Let the other person feel the idea is
his/hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other
person's point of view.
Sympathize with the other person.
Appeal to noble motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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13. Getting People to Your Point of View
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Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
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Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly.
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Talk about your own mistakes first.
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Ask questions instead of directly giving orders.
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Let the other person save face.
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Praise every improvement.
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Give them a fine reputation to live up to.
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Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct.
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Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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14. Session Summary
• COMMUNICATE with
Confidence; CONCENTRATE
• CLEAR Communication and Conversation
• RESEARCH, REFLECT
• RELATE to the other person;
RAPPORT to RELATIONSHIP
• UNDERSTAND
• Focus on the other ‘YOU’
• INVOLVE the other person.
• SMILE, Stay flexible
• STAY aware
• TALK less, listen more
• Know when to EXIT and END the
conversation
• ASK open-ended high gain
questions; ATTITUDE is
everything, Pay ATTENTION
•
LISTEN to words, thoughts, and
emotions behind the message
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com
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