Date 26 feb-2021 0151 pm (utc-0500)submission id 15190226
1. date: 26-Feb-2021 01:51PM (UTC-0500)
Submission ID: 1519022614
File name:
Word count: 1011
Character count: 5247
15%
SIMILARITY INDEX
13%
INTERNET SOURCES
4%
PUBLICATIONS
15%
STUDENT PAPERS
1 4%
2 3%
3 3%
4 3%
2. 5 1%
6 1%
Exclude quotes Off
Exclude bibliography Off
Exclude matches Off
Research paper
ORIGINALITY REPORT
PRIMARY SOURCES
Submitted to American Public University System
Student Paper
Submitted to Pima Community College
Student Paper
Submitted to Pattonville School District
Student Paper
Submitted to Utah Education Network
Student Paper
Submitted to University of Newcastle
Student Paper
halshs.archives-ouvertes.fr
Internet Source
QM
3. QM
FINAL GRADE
13/20
Research paper
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor
Hi
You have a strong start in this working draft. You
understand MLA citation well, so not only have you set
up a strong Works Cited, but also you have chosen
some strong and credible resources. You also do well
with MLA in-text citations.
As your revise, begin with setting up a strong and
focused thesis. It should be a debatable claim, one that
has a clear stance with supporting points. It should be
something with opposing points of view.
Once you revise your thesis, you can set up stronger
topic sentences: your points. This will help with
organizing your paragraphs more. It will also help to
bring in some specific examples in each paragraph.
LS
PAGE 1
Nice work here | Format
Additional Comment
4. You have set up your left hand MLA header correctly.
Greeting
Additional Comment
Hi
QM
QM
You have chosen a topic you're interested in for this
assignment, so you're off to a great start. I look
forward to reading this to see what your thesis is and how you
support with analysis, examples, and
evidence.
Comment 1 | Format
Your title reflects your main idea well. No need to bold for
MLA format.
Introduction tips | Coherence
· An effective introduction starts with an introductory
sentence about the subject, offers
the writer's main point, and reveals the organization of the
essay.
Does the introduction "grab" you as a reader or "hook" your
interest?
Does it lead naturally to the main point of the essay?
5. Is there a thesis that reveals the purpose of the essay? [Usually,
the thesis appears at the end of an
introduction, but sometimes it appears later in the paper or it
may be implied rather than explicit; we
should be sensitive to well-written essays that diverge from the
norm.]
What is the purpose? To explain something? To argue an
intellectual position? To argue for a
proposal? To tell a story? Other?
Additional Comment
What intriguing hook could you offer to interest your readers?
Using your resources, what stories,
statistics, or insights could you bring in?
Research Essay Thesis | Thesis
Remember the thesis statement must have an arguable claim,
and ideally, you will include all
evidential points (if you have more than approximately five
subtopics, considering using umbrella
terms to avoid a thesis statement that is too wordy).
An argument-based research paper makes a claim about a topic
and justifies this claim with specific
evidence. The claim is your stance or side on the issue. The
goal of the argumentative paper is to
convince the audience that the claim is true based on the
evidence provided. This paper can also
include a counter-argument/refutation section to strengthen
supporting discussions. An example of
an argumentative thesis statement is as follows: "High school
graduates should be required to take a
year off to pursue community service projects before entering
6. college in order to improve their
maturity, global awareness, and social and emotional
development; despite some professors’ fear of
potential loss of academic momentum, a gap year, in fact, can
help a student determine a course of
study, helping to reduce unnecessary courses
Additional Comment
Instead of announcing what the topic is, how can you offer a
strong stance along with three main
points?
Comment 2 | Coherence
QM
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Once you revise your thesis, how could you strengthen this
point?
Comment 3 | Support & Dev
What specific examples can you offer?
C/S | Punctuation
Comma splice:
7. A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to
be complete, but it cannot have
more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety
of run-on sentence that occurs
when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and
verb, are joined mistakenly by a
comma. There are generally three methods of correcting this
problem: 1) Replace the comma with a
stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2)
use a coordinating conjunction
("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3)
make one of the two sentences a
dependent construction by linking it to the other with a
subordinating conjunction ("if," "when," "so
that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that,"
"which," "who," "whom," "whose").
Comment 4 | Research/MLA
Nice work with your citation. Just take out the comma.
Awk. | Language
Awkward:
The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to
read. Consider rewriting.
Missing "," | Punctuation
Missing comma:
Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma
can often help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory
element (a phrase, clause or word that is
logically related to another phrase or clause in the same
sentence), it is a great help to your reader
to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases
will often begin with words like
8. "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example:
"While everyone was fighting, the bear
wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the
sentence would be confusing.
PAGE 2
Citation Needed | Research/MLA
Cite Source:
Please use the link below to find links to information regarding
specific citation styles:
http://www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html
Capitalization of words | Punctuation
If you have a question about whether a specific word should be
capitalized that doesn't fit under one
of these rules, try checking a dictionary to see if the word is
capitalized there. Here is a link to offer
more help:
QM
QM
QM
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general writing/mechanics/help with
capitals.html
Comment 5 | Research/MLA
No need for a comma.
9. Paragraph Development | Support & Dev
To be as effective as possible, a paragraph should contain each
of the following: Unity,
Coherence, A Topic Sentence, and Adequate Development. As
you will see, all of these
traits overlap. Using and adapting them to your individual
purposes will help you construct effective
paragraphs.
Additional Comment
Begin each paragraph with a strong and focused point, one that
defends your thesis. Within each
paragraph, focus on how to support that point with specific
examples. Also, offer at least a couple
pieces of evidence from your resources and follow up by
clarifying that information in your own voice
of analysis.
Comment 6 | Coherence
This is a good point.
Comment 7 | Support & Dev
What specific examples can you offer for support?
Comment 8 | Research/MLA
Nice work with your citation. Just take out the comma.
Vague | Language
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the
most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem
vague and sketchy. A paper is
10. always strengthened when your claims are as specific as
possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have.
Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by.
Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have
to supply details, to show the reader
what you mean, not just tell him or her.
Comment 9 | Support & Dev
This is a good start to an example, but isn't specific yet. What
specific examples can you offer?
Awk. | Language
Awkward:
The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to
read. Consider rewriting.
QM
QM
QM
Comment 10 | Support & Dev
This is interesting information here. What examples can you
bring in to show your readers?
Paragraph Development | Support & Dev
To be as effective as possible, a paragraph should contain each
of the following: Unity,
11. Coherence, A Topic Sentence, and Adequate Development. As
you will see, all of these
traits overlap. Using and adapting them to your individual
purposes will help you construct effective
paragraphs.
Additional Comment
Begin each paragraph with a strong and focused point, one that
defends your thesis. Within each
paragraph, focus on how to support that point with specific
examples. Also, offer at least a couple
pieces of evidence from your resources and follow up by
clarifying that information in your own voice
of analysis.
Comment 11 | Support & Dev
How can you follow up with your own voice of analysis to
further clarify this information for your
readers?
Vague | Language
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the
most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem
vague and sketchy. A paper is
always strengthened when your claims are as specific as
possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have.
Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by.
Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have
to supply details, to show the reader
what you mean, not just tell him or her.
12. Comment 12 | Coherence
How could you find a stronger point?
Comment 13 | Support & Dev
What examples can you offer?
PAGE 3
Vague | Language
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the
most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem
vague and sketchy. A paper is
always strengthened when your claims are as specific as
possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have.
Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by.
Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have
to supply details, to show the reader
QM
QM
QM
QM
13. what you mean, not just tell him or her.
Tense Shift | Grammar
Tense Shift:
Verb tenses should be consistent throughout your writing in
order to make it clear when an action
takes place. You will confuse your readers by switching from
one tense to another within the same
sentence or paragraph. When discussing literature or a
published source document of some kind,
readers expect you to use the present tense, even though the
source you're writing about may have
been written many years ago. When writing an essay about
historical events, however, readers
generally expect that you use the past tense.Tense Shift
Comment 14 | Research/MLA
You do well with your citation. Just take out the comma.
Comment 15 | Support & Dev
Do you have a counterargument and rebuttal to offer as well?
Paragraph Development | Support & Dev
To be as effective as possible, a paragraph should contain each
of the following: Unity,
Coherence, A Topic Sentence, and Adequate Development. As
you will see, all of these
traits overlap. Using and adapting them to your individual
purposes will help you construct effective
paragraphs.
Additional Comment
Begin each paragraph with a strong and focused point, one that
defends your thesis. Within each
14. paragraph, focus on how to support that point with specific
examples. Also, offer at least a couple
pieces of evidence from your resources and follow up by
clarifying that information in your own voice
of analysis.
Article usage | Language
Missing an article here. English has two articles: the and a/an.
The is used to refer to specific or
particular nouns; a/an is used to modify non-specific or non-
particular nouns. We
call the the definite article and a/an the
Here's a helpful resource:
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general writing/grammar/using
articles.html
|| | Grammar
Problem in Parallel Form:
Coordinate ideas should be expressed in parallel form. All
expressions that are similar in content and
function should be expressed similarly.
Additional Comment
How can you set up your verbs in this sentence to be parallel in
structure? Here's a helpful resource:
QM
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/mechanics/parallel_
structure.html
15. Conclusions | Coherence
The following outline may help you conclude your paper:
In a general way,
Restate your topic and why it is important,
Restate your thesis/claim,
Address opposing viewpoints and explain why readers should
align with your
position,
Call for action or overview future research possibilities.
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/gener al_writing/common_writing_as
signments/argument_papers/conclusio
Additional Comment
Once you revise your thesis and points, you can strengthen your
conclusion as well.
PAGE 4
Comment 16 | Research/MLA
You have the required number of resources needed for this
assignment. You have also thoughtfully
alphabetized that final list.
Comment 17 | Research/MLA
Double check this information.
RUBRIC: ENG101 V6:RESEARCH DRAFT
17. 2 / 5
Thesis, central idea, audience, purpose, digressions
Thesis or potential thesis is neither present in any portion of the
essay, nor is it implied in
any manner. Thesis may be present but incorrect for the
assignment’s
objectives/approach. Thesis may be present but the submission
overall fails to meet most
assignment objectives (such as the essay is only a paragraph)
that determining the thesis’
viability is problematic.
Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of
audience and purpose. Readers
cannot discern the essay’s central idea.
Thesis was attempted but unclear and/or inconsistently
addressed. Reveals limited
awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea either lacking
or inconsistently
addressed.
Thesis is identifiable, but perhaps too narrow, too broad, or
otherwise problematic.
Awareness of audience may be adequate but inconsistent.
Central idea is perhaps too
general and supported by irrelevant examples.
Thesis is established and is consistently addressed throughout
most of the paper.
Awareness of audience is sufficient. Central idea is clear and
maintained in most of the
essay.
18. Thesis is clearly established and maintained throughout the
entire paper. Paper
demonstrates a sophisticated awareness of audience and
purpose. Central idea/focus
maintained throughout.
3 / 5
Thesis support, thesis development, use of examples, logic, and
reason
Support is more than lacking, such that it is insufficient for
review (assignment does not
meet length requirements). Body paragraphs may be very
limited in original material for
evaluation due to too much borrowed information and a
problematic similarity report which
qualifies the paper for an account hold and “similarity match:
low” QuickMark.
Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of
audience and purpose. Readers
cannot discern the essay’s central idea. No support of thesis
with relevant facts,
examples, reasons, or evidence. No topic development. Little-
to-no argument is present.
Topic development is flawed or non-existent. The body
paragraphs have a poor mix of
cited quotes, paraphrases, and summaries.
Support is minimal, logically flawed, and/or inaccurate. At least
two arguments are
present, but counterargument and refutation may be weak or
missing. Topic development
may have been attempted, but does not form conclusions and/or
fails to exhibit clear
19. reasoning. The body paragraphs have an insufficient mix of
cited quotes, paraphrases,
and summaries.
More support is needed. Some examples may be vague. More
development needed for
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)
COHERENCE (15%)
POINTS
(0)
POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)
20. LANGUAGE (10%)
POINTS
(0)
supporting reasons or evidence. Some irrelevant support may be
present, but most
evidence supports thesis. The body paragraphs have an adequate
mix of cited quotes,
paraphrases, and summaries.
Support is sufficient but perhaps flawed in some way. At least
three strong arguments, a
counterargument, and a refutation are present. Examples are
sufficient. Thesis is
supported and developed in most paragraphs. The body
paragraphs have a sufficient mix
of cited quotes, paraphrases, and summaries.
Essay completely supports the thesis with logical arrangement
of evidence. At least three
strong arguments, a counterargument, and a refutation are
present. All assertions are
supported and relate to thesis. The body paragraphs have an
exceptional mix of cited
quotes, paraphrases, and summaries.
3 / 5
Introduction, conclusion, body paragraphs, transitions, topic
sentences
Two or more major organizational elements are missing, such as
an introduction and
conclusion. Essay be one long paragraph with no discernible
21. separation of ideas.
No clear introduction, body, or conclusion. Little-to-no
transitions. Demonstrates little-to-no
understanding of organization. Many sentences within
paragraphs do not relate to each
other and/or the paragraph’s topic. May contain no discernible
topic sentences.
Introduction, body, and conclusion attempted but problematic.
Few transitions. Perhaps
numerous digressions. Mostly missing or problematic topic
sentences. Demonstrates little
understanding of organization.
Identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion; yet one
significant weakness is present:
undeveloped introduction, undeveloped conclusion, illogical
paragraph order. Adequate
transitions, perhaps some digressions. Some paragraphs may
lack clear topic sentences.
Demonstrates basic understanding of organization.
Clear introduction, body, and conclusion although
improvements could be made. Most
paragraphs have clear topic sentences. Essay establishes a clear
plan of development.
Transitions are clear throughout most of the paper.
Demonstrates good understanding of
organization.
Clear and effective introduction, body, and conclusion:
Introduction establishes the
essay’s main idea, and conclusion summarizes thesis and main
ideas without merely
copying and pasting from the introduction. Clear and effective
22. transitions are present
throughout the paper. Demonstrates excellent understanding of
organization.
4 / 5
Word choice, repetition, redundancy, awkwardness, article
misuse, wrong word form (their/there, etc.),
typos/misspellings, vocabulary
May contain more than 8 errors in word choice, wordiness,
redundancy, or awkwardness.
<br />May contain more than 8 errors in inappropriate language
for academic audience.
<br />Fails to demonstrate clarity in most sentences throughout
the paper. The lack of
POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)
GRAMMAR (10%)
23. POINTS
(0)
POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)
PUNCTUATION (10%)
POINTS
(0)
lucidity makes it difficult for the reader to determine the
paper’s focus.
May contain more than 6 errors in word choice, wordiness,
redundancy, or awkwardness.
<br />May contain more than 6 errors in inappropriate language
for academic audience.
<br />Fails to demonstrate competent language use; sentences
and vocabulary are
inappropriate, facile, and/or incoherent.
May contain 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or
awkwardness. <br />May
24. contain 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic
audience. <br />Contains
repetitive, incorrect, and/or insufficie nt sentence structure
and/or limited vocabulary.
May contain 4 – 5 errors in word choice, wordiness,
redundancy, or awkwardness. <br
/>May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for
academic audience. <br
/>Demonstrates competency with language use but sentence
constructions and
vocabulary may be limited or repetitive.
May contain 2 – 3 errors in word choice, wordiness,
redundancy, or awkwardness. <br
/>May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for
academic audience. <br
/>Demonstrates sufficient knowledge and skill with varied
sentence construction and
vocabulary. Unnecessary repetition is minor.
May contain 1 error in inappropriate language for academic
audience. <br />Demonstrates
sophisticated knowledge and skill with varied and compl ex
sentence construction and
vocabulary. Little-to-no unnecessary repetition.
3.50 / 5
Fragments, subject-verb agreement, verb tense errors, verb form
errors, run-ons, pronoun agreement
Contains more than 7 different grammar errors. <br />The
identical 5+ errors may be
repeated throughout. <br /><br />
25. Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors.
<br />The identical 3 – 4
errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The
identical 2 – 3 errors may be
repeated throughout.
Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The
identical 1 – 2 errors may be
repeated throughout.
Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be
repeated throughout the essay.
Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2
different errors with no
repetition.
3.50 / 5
Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization
errors, semicolon errors, colon errors
Contains more than 7 different punctuation/capitaliza tion errors.
<br />The identical 5+
errors may be repeated throughout.
POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
27. errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The
identical 2 – 3 errors may be
repeated throughout.
Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The
identical 1 – 2 errors may be
repeated throughout.
Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be
repeated throughout the essay.
Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2
different errors with no
repetition.
4 / 5
heading, title, margins, spacing, length*, underlined thesis
*Length for the research paper is 800 words minimum
Format or word minimum is completely lacking. Formatting
may be missing five or more
elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate
spacing or margins, and/or
thesis not underlined). Essay is severely underdeveloped, such
that it includes only a
paragraph or two.
Doesn’t meet formatting requirements: Formatting may be
missing four or more elements
(either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or
margins, or thesis not
underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.
28. Doesn’t meet most formatting requirements: Formatting may be
missing three elements
(either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or
margins, or thesis not
underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.
Meets some formatting requirements: Formatting may be
missing two elements (either no
title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or
thesis not underlined).
Length may not meet minimum requirements (an essay that does
not meet length
minimum will score no higher than 3 in this category)
Meets most formatting requirements: Formatting may be
missing one element (either no
title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or
thesis not underlined).
Length meets minimum requirements of 750 words.
Meets all requirements. Formatting is appropriate in terms of
heading, title, margins,
spacing, underlining thesis. Length meets minimum
requirements of 750 words.
5 / 5
Source minimums, incorporation of sources (including use of
signal phrases), use of research to argue topic,
MLA in-text quote formatting, Works Cited list This paper
requires at least four sources.
Sources are neither present on the Works Cited page nor
employed in the paper. No
attempt or implied intention to use sources. At least seven
different errors in documenting
29. sources. Similarity report may present potential plagiarism
concerns, so much so that
POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)
grading the paper is acceptable but the paper must be placed on
an account hold due to
qualifying for the “similarity match: low” QuickMark.
Source minimum requirements are not met. Research is
insufficient, irrelevant, or
inadequate. Sources are not incorporated at all, or are done very
poorly. Five or more
errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present.
Works Cited page either
omitted or formatted very poorly. It may be difficult or
impossible to discern which sources
are in the list.
Source minimum requirements may not be met (Note: If source
minimum is not met, the
30. essay will score no higher than 2 in this category). Research is
superficial and/or sources
are incorporated poorly. No more than four different errors in
documenting sources using
MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be
repeated. Works Cited page
may contain significant formatting errors, and some sources
may be omitted from the list.
Source minimum requirements (four credible sources) are met.
Research may be
superficial, sources may be poorly incorporated. No more than
three different errors in
documenting sources using MLA style may be present. These
identical errors may be
repeated. Works Cited page may contain significant formatting
errors, but all sources are
listed.
Source minimum requirements (four credible sources) are met.
Fairly thorough research
with mostly effective use of sources. No more than two
different errors in documenting
sources using MLA style. These identical two errors may be
repeated. Works Cited page
may contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly
listed.
Source minimum requirements (four credible sources) are met.
Thoroughly researches
the topic, uses sources effectively. No more than one different
error in documenting
sources using MLA style. This identical error may be repeated.
Works Cited page may
contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly
listed.