Revision Essay

Nancy Sommers Revision
The term "Revision" has been perverted one too many times throughout my school career thus far.
I never fully understood what the point of revision in writing actually was. Whenever we spent an
entire class period, "revising papers", we would read over each other's papers, cross out a few
words or sentences and that was it. In "Revision Strategies of Student Writers and Experienced Adult
Writers," by Nancy Sommers, a professor who has taught composition and directed composition
programs for thirty years, now teaches writing and mentors new writing teachers at Harvard's
Graduate School of Education. She talks about how there has been extensive research on various
aspects of writing and very little has been done on revision.
She believes that this can be due to the current models of the writing process deferring their
attention from revision. These models are usually "linear" and put revision as a separate stage
from the prewriting and writing stages of the writing process (Sommers, 3). She also states that
the linear model is based off of speech, and how it is designed to mimic the "the art of oratory"
(Sommers, 2). You had to write a rough draft, have it peer review or revised by a peer, and then turn
it in a few days later as the final copy....show more content...
This means that revising should be the last step in the writing process, one that comes after both the
first and second drafts. This only allows students to find obvious mistakes, rather than more deep
conceptual mistakes. Students need to broaden their outlook on writing instead of looking for
surface level issues. But for experienced adult writers, revising is more of finding a pattern and
getting a better understanding of the paper. It's apparent here how student writers understand the
revision process as opposed to experienced
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What I Learned From The Revision
Looking back As human beings we try to achieve perfection, and when we look back on previous
works we find what wasn 't right and fix it; however we might look at a project later and the cycle
repeats and repeats. In other words, revision is never over. Kind of depressing, right? But, the
sooner we accept our fate as eternal revisers, the better off we will be. What I learned from the
revision is that there is always room for improvement. For the final essay, I made global revisions
like: structuring, adding details, deleting senses, and adding sentences. I also made some local
revisions like: grammar, fixing typos, and fixing strange sentences. Revision is necessary to
make an essay better and is a chance to make brave changes that you were not willing to address
in the beginning. I am a more humble student now that I've accepted that revision is grueling,
endless, and necessary. Again, depressing, but also true. The local revisions that I made in the
essay make the essay easier to understand. I notice that I am not the best speller and made quite a
few typos, for example I changed "fine" to "find," and "mother" to "mother's". I feel the reader
might see "Connie and mommy" and be uninterested, because it will be a normal mother/ daughter
type relationship. I also decided to change the title of my essay to "Everyone hates Connie", because
I feel that it grabs the audience's attention, and doesn't sound too generic. I also added the year
"2015" in the

Describe The Revising Process
Revising is ensuring your essay is organized and reflects your thesis, while editing is done to ensure
your words and message are clear. To revise an essay, the writer should make sure each paragraph
relates to the thesis, that the essay is structured well with complete sentences and paragraphs, and
that the essay includes an introduction and conclusion. One way to help revise your essay is to,
"...consider putting yourself in the shoes of your readers when you revise and trying to determine
whether what you have written will be clear and understandable to your audience" (Connell, 2013, p.
9.2). This helps ensure your thoughts are well organized and flow well. Revising checks the writer's
accuracy for focus, structure, organization, completion,

Essay On Revision Techniques
An effective use of revision techniques will help me to pass my biology examination. I use revision
charts, note taking from the text book, practicing questions, highlighter pens and also stick notes
around the room to ensure information stays on the mind. I apply these techniques base on the topic
I am studying. For instance, when I am studying the human digestive system, it requires detailed
knowledge on its associated organs and enzymes so I will use note taken from personal studies on
the system. I will post labelled diagrams on all the various digestive organs and its functions around
my study room to help me to remember the knowledge I have acquired through my comprehensive
reading.
NOTE TAKING
The contructivist views of...show more content...
I will practice related questions from textbooks and online and also encourage questions from my
friends in a group discussion to underpin what I have learnt.
FLASH CARDS
There are three main reasons why flashcards are an effective learning style. Using flashcards
engages active recall. When I look at one side of a flashcard and think of the answer on the
opposite side, I will be engaging my mental faculty, an action which is called active recall. This
process will cause me to remember or attempt to remember the concept from scratch rather than
simply staring at the passage in the textbook or recognizing it on a multiple choice quiz. The active
recall will create a stronger neuron connections for the memory trace and because flashcards can
easily facilitate repetition, it's the best way to create multiple memory–enhancing recall events.(
brainscape.com accessed on 31 Dec.2013). The second reason is that, flashcards will enable me to
use my metacognitive faculty. When I expose the answer side of a flashcard to evaluate correctness,
I will be asking myself "How did my answer compare to this correct answer?" and "How well did I
know (or not know) it?" This procedure of self–reflection is called metacognition. Research shows
that applying metacognition tends to establish memories deeper into a person's knowledge.
.(brainscape.com accessed on 31 Dec.2013)

Peer Revision Research Paper
The peer revision it's some help for the student to improve in their writing. The purpose of this
revision is being used to determine an academic paper's suitability for publication. In this
semester we work in four peer revision essays which were Narrative essay, evaluation argument
essay and compare/contrast essay and this one that is reflection essay. During class we change our
essay with one classmate and answer the questions of the peer revision so we learn too, to
identified the errors that could be occur in an essay. We help each and now we can now a different
opinion about our essays with the opinion of our classmate.

My revision strategy is to use both large and small–scale revisions. I believe by using both, I will be
able to create a better–written essay. Starting with a large–scale revision of my thesis and some of
my paragraphs, this I will do to give my readers a complete insight into why I agree with the author
of "Some Lessons from the Assembly Line" and the reasons he wrote the article (Braaksma 17).
First, by using a large–scale revision to give my readers a clear understanding of my thesis
statement. Then by using small–scale revisions to make sure the syntax and grammar are correct, it
will assure my claims do not get lost in the process. give the readers clear details of my claims. My
goals are to present the author's claims for "Some

Personal Narrative: My Revision
Do you think that revision is necessary to identify problems within the paper that you have written?
When I first re–read my submission from January I was disappointed with the quality that the
paper held. At the beginning of the semester I felt as if my work was not perfect but slightly
above average. After completing this semester and revising my paper from the beginning of the
semester I have realized that above average was not a true representation of my work. It would not
come close to being considered my most quality work, in fact the quality just barely passes for
average. My rhetorical choices shifted but didn't completely change while completing my revision. I
expected English 101 to consist of assignments where we argued our opinion...show more content...
I learned to take each paragraph separately and break it down step by step instead of jumping into
to the assignment at once. The amount that I have learned throughout this course was surprisingly a
lot more information than I expected to learn. I expected to do complete similar work that I did in
high school, but this course really expanded my knowledge on writing. I could gather a better
understanding for transitions and the proper way to use them. Reading academic articles will now
come much easier to me because I understand the language and structure of these articles. Sentence
level and organization would be the two biggest things I struggle with when it comes to writing. The
skill that is most valuable to me would be starting with body paragraphs and taking them piece by
piece, then moving on to write the introduction and thesis statement. This will be very helpful with
future writing assignments because it will help me maintain organization and not get

The Energy Of Revision Essay
Revising these six poems was the easiest revision that I have ever completed. This is because of
the several stops that I followed while completing my revisions. My first two and most important
steps came from lessons that I was taught in class, the next were influenced by what I read in "The
Energy of Revision," and the thoughts and opinions of my classmates. To begin my revisions, I
printed out my poems. Looking at a screen and trying to make revisions is difficult. Having a poem
on paper makes it easier to read the poem and to catch any mistake that might have been made.
After printing out my poems, I read each poem out loud. Although I have read many of the poems
out loud in class, there is a difference when you are sitting in a room by yourself and reading your
own poems. Again, it is easier to notice mistakes, awkward lines, and other errors that you may
overlook when reading in front of others. I could not start my revision without doing these two
steps first. By doing these two things I was able to see and hear my poem the way my audience
would as opposed to the way I read and heard it when I was writing it....show more content...
For this part, I followed several of the steps provided in "The Energy of Revision," in Poetic
Companion. For each people I followed a different revision technique provided in this section. In
"Hell for Health," I used the "amputory" method and removed four lines from my poem. They
were unnecessary and took away from the overall purpose of my poem; therefore, they needed to
be removed. In "Coretta Scott King," I followed the redial surgery method. Although I kept the
same theme as the original Kwansaba, the revised version does a better job of conveying the
message that I wanted to share. Through the use of these methods and others, such as taking away
problematic lines, I believe that I was able to greatly improve my

Peer Review My Peers Work
To start my peer review process I read my peers work. After I read their work, I go back and read
each paragraph individually. Sometimes it is easy to see what needs work, such as finding
fragments and grammar errors. Other times, I have to look hard to find errors in my peers work
because each student in my class is already a great writer. After making suggested edits throughout
the paper, I always complete my revision with an overall comment at the bottom of the page. From
there, I give a constructive list of different aspects of the paper that might need revision.

Revision, Not Re Learning
Examination strategies
Before the exam
Revision, not re–learning
Prepare a pre–examination study timetable. Share your time between subjects.
Listen for verbal clues offered in lectures and tutorials.
Study actively–verbalise and visualise your revision.
Aim for understanding, not just memorising the material.
Use concept maps/diagrams.
Work in groups and individually.
Identify problem areas and work on these.
Revise tutorial problems.
Do past exams (under exam conditions) and discuss your answers with your lecturers and tutors
(where possible).
Take effective breaks (planned and limited)– regular exercise is good for this.
Organisation
Get enough sleep – synchronise your body clock with exam times.
Prepare your exam resources – pens, calculators, ID card, etc.
Check the day/time/place for your exam.
Check your transport and, if necessary, parking arrangements.
During the exam
During reading time
Read the entire paper thoroughly.
Allocate time proportionally to the value of each question.
After reading time
Tick and order the questions you plan to answer.
Re–read the questions and underline key words and phrases.
Write notes/brief outline answers in your exam booklet.
When answering questions
Number answers clearly and accurately.
Work thoroughly but rapidly.
Answer the hardest questions first particularly if they are worth the most marks.
Use other questions for clues.
Notice where words/figures are emphasised.
Find the

Donald Murray The Revising Process Of Writing
According to Donald M. Murray, revising a work of writing is an essential procedure a writer goes
through. As many other professional writers have mentioned, "Writing is rewriting," they see each
draft as an opportunity to rebuild their work since there's never a feeling of satisfaction. In his essay,
Murray incorporates the experiences of authors Peter F. Drucker, Ray Bradbury, John Ciardi, Eleanor
Estes, and others to make an argument on how important the revising and editing process are when
writing for an audience. Murray divides his essay into three main sections which are becoming the
enemy of our first draft, using the seven elements of writing such as the audience and information,
and lastly finding the potential and alternatives of

Revision Narrative
Revision Narrative
One of the biggest change I made was changing the narrator of the story. I decided to change it to
a third person narrator to give myself more flexibility in terms of description because I felt like
the first person narrator limited what I was able to describe. However, writing in the third person
also proved to be challenging. The different POV changed the tone and voice of the story. Plus I
couldn't decide on which girl was the main protagonist of the story. As I delved into both girls' mind
through third person narrative they both became more interesting, and it was harder for me to decide
on one main character. Now the subject of the story keep shifting between both girls.
Although I liked the mystery and anticipation

Personal Narrative: My Revision Process
My revision process began with reviewing my essay, rubric, assignment sheet and the comments
that were left on my paper. I quickly noticed several simple grammatical mistakes that I did not
notice before. I also became aware of the areas of my paper that had awkward phrasing. These
errors in my paper had an impact in the aspects of its flow and framing. There were also times
where I felt that I lacked in giving the reader the proper amount of background information and
details. However, these issues are minor and the rest of my paper did not have any problems. I felt
that the content of my paper fulfilled the rubric and meet all the goals of the assignment.
My goal of this revision was to improve the flow of my paper as well as to restructure

Revision of a Letter
Editorial Revisions ONE Revise a Letter Dear Sirs / Madams: I want to call your attention to the
fact that I have not as yet received my paycheck this month. My name is Bill Thompson and I work
in the Sales Department. My company ID number is A40568, and my social security number is
65–883–9053. Thank you for your attention to this matter. I know that you have a busy schedule
and that it is possible that some checks get mislaid or there are possibly lapses in the databases you
use to print and distribute payroll checks. Meanwhile, if you need additional information in order to
locate my payroll information, you can reach me at 301–774–4987; also, my email address is
bthomp@hotmail.com. I have been employed by the company since April, 2001, so my files
should reflect that I have been here now for twelve years. Thank you very sincerely in advance for
your attention to this issue. Very Truly Yours, Bill Thompson (301) 774
–4987. TWO Technical
Writing Revision Inclement weather has caused us to postpone the company picnic until next
Thursday. Thank you and we'll see you there! THREE Remove Sexist Language Dear Ms. Fortin,
We realize that sometimes employees rush to work and in their haste to get on the job and begin
work, they neglect to clock in. While this could happen to anyone, the doctors would like to remind
staff that it is important for doctors to know who is on duty and in which department each employee
is currently engaged. This is

The Revision Process Allows Me
The objective of this course is to teach students how to produce and write a not only concise, but
compelling essays through one main idea. Throughout the semester, this course has taught me to use
outlines and drafts that require further revisions to help interpret each essay and establish the
structure in a better order. Specifically, the revision process allows me to take a second look back at
my essay and see how I could have ultimately created a more exceptional essay. To start, the
revision process allows me to review my thesis and create a better one so that I can have a more
defined aspect and get the main point across. Also, the concept of revising an essay can lead to a
more easily understood paper with more specific details which would lead to a more structured
and evidence based argument. The revision process helps to improve papers to become more
effective by creating a better overall thesis which could lead to a more conclusive essay that gets
directly to the main point of the desired analysis. Most people would assume that the thesis is
considered to be the most critical part of the essay. It investigates what the main idea of the paper
will encompass. Usually, the first draft of the thesis for most people is never the thesis that will
stay throughout the paper. As one starts to write, they realize how it could be changed to be a more
precise and easily understood perception. As I was working on the revision, I realized that the first
thesis that I wrote in

College Essay On Revision
What I've always wanted is to be a good writer and in order to do this I know I need to learn how to
grasp revision. Editing, proofreading, revising, fixing grammatical errors, and re–reading, are
important in revising. Writing used to be a chore to me until I found my own style and started
writing creatively while keeping my interests in mind. After writing and finding out a certain style
doesn't work, it leads me to try something different. I used to think of revision as re–writing and
changing text and documents, until I learned what revision truly is and the importance of this
process. Alice S. Horning, in Revision Revisited (2002), presents "weaving as a metaphor for the
revision process writers follow" (p. 1). "To create the tapestry...show more content...
Heavy grammar and style comments on a student's early draft show that surface is the most
important part. Some problems students find include word repetition, and when students don't face
the problems, they may replace the offending words with synonyms (Haar & Horning, 2006). When
teachers reviewed my early drafts on past papers especially in writing classes, I found the process
overwhelming. In previous writing classes I have used word repetition and synonyms in my papers.
Revision means correcting repetition, better word usage, and to recognize synonyms aren't always
good word replacements with draft revisions. Using synonyms means adding a replacement word
which essentially means the same, except the word may sound or look better. Less repetition and
synonym usage is better when correcting drafts, because there are other alternatives. Also in
Revision: History, Theory, and Practice, the chapter Definitions and Distinctions also talks about
revision, images, and voices. "Revision means movement: turning from self to reader; drafting up
and down, out and in; heeding interior and exterior voices. These images of movement witness to the
active, fluid thinking of revision, its creativeness, and its multiple, interconnected tasks" (Haar, 2006,
14). Revising and editing are just as important as the written words themselves and the content

Global Revision
Every writer experiences the daunting task of writing, revising, perfecting, and completing a
paper, essay, or book at some point in life. Whether it is for school or a profession, writing and
revising papers will always be a part of life. While writing and revising multiple papers for Written
Communications, I learned a lot about my writing style, technique, and revision process. Through
complicated steps, I performed both global and local revisions in order to increase the clarity of paper
, erase all sentence–level confusions, perfect my ideas, and organize my thoughts into a coherent,
unified argument. First and foremost, I performed the global revisions. Global revision includes
revising clarity, organization, content, and the unity of paragraphs including the transitions. In my
paper, i performed a global revision in the way of paragraph unity and clarity. I made sure each
paragraph discussed only one idea and not multiple. One of the most confusing and unclear spots in
my analytical paper of the "Letter from a Birmingham Jail" was the paragraph in which I analyzed
the...show more content...
This included eliminating expletives, modifying verbs, examining sentence length, and improving
diction. In order to exemplify my writing, I eliminated all expletives (except for the ones used in
direct quotes) from my paper. I only found one expletive ("there were") and it was after the word
that in the below sentence. My original sentence read, "By using a well known historical event ––
the Holocaust –– King illustrates his point that there were unjust laws placed on Jews during the
middle of the 20th century." After revising it and eliminating expletives, I saw a more concise idea
which was, "By using a well known historical event –– the Holocaust –– King illustrates his point
that society placed unjust laws on Jews during the middle of the 20th century." Eliminating the only
expletive in my paper helped clear up my

The World Health Organisation Essays
The World Health Organisation
Founded in 1948, the World Health Organization leads the world alliance for health for all. A
specialized agency of the United Nations with 191 Member Sates, WHO promotes technical
cooperation for health among nations, carries out programmes to control and eradicate disease, and
strives to improve the quality of human life.
WHO has four main functions:
* to give worldwide guidance in the field of health
* to set global standards for health
* to cooperate with governments in strengthening national health programmes
* to develop and transfer appropriate health technology, information and standards
The WHO definition of health:...show more content...
Some projects target vulnerable populations such as the elderly and women. Others focus on
encouraging healthy lifestyles, sexual health and tobacco–free societies.
The impact of the environment on health is a high priority for WHO. One example is access to safe
drinking water. WHO puts the highest priority on the development of community water supplies and
sanitation facilities with the AFRICA 2000 initiative. WHO is deeply concerned with prevention and
control of ionising radiation so dramatically highlighted by the Chernobyl nuclear accident. Other
issues such as the health effects of electromagnetic fields and the increasing depletion of the ozone
layer, are of major concern.
Scientific and Ethical Action
Improved health is not achieved just with financial resources and high technology. It requires a
social conscience and a commitment to share the advances of health science throughout society.
Every field of health raises ethical questions concerning sex, birth, confidentiality and personal
safety. WHO helps safeguard ethical standards by insisting, for example, that consensus must be
reached on what is acceptable in cloning, that there is informed consent when carrying out
experiments with humans, or estimating how much risk should be borne by

Revision: Most Great Writer
Revision is the key for most great writers. Before submitting an official paper, revision should be
the final step because revising and editing your paper can help you find small mistakes that you
didn't pick up on before. Revision is different from proofreading, proofreading focuses more on
spelling and grammar errors, revising focuses on reconsidering your thoughts in a better manner. In
the long and tedious process of revision, you should look at the main thesis and how well your
thoughts are organized in the paper. You may even stumble upon a paragraph that may not have
anything to do with the paper and delete it. Even when Ernest Hemingway, a great american writer
was once interviewed he was asked how much rewriting he does and he responded that he once
wrote the last page of his book Farewell Arms thirty–nine times before he was satisfied with it. Once
you revise your thesis, your thoughts in the rest of the paper should address your thesis in order to
keep organization. Revision is very important in submitting paper because it can change the purpose
of the paper just by fixing the organization and thoughts of the paper so it can be clear understanding
for the reader....show more content...
I had struggled a lot on clarification that led you to put several comments about it. I want to know
how to be clear for any reader without being repetitive. I feel that I see myself leaning towards
being vague because I feel that if I explained my argument more, it would just lead to
repetitiveness. Another question I have in regarding to revision is that I don't know how to
minimize my quote because I feel as if what all of the quote is saying is very important for my
argument. How can I minimize it so that the quote does not become a block quote? I believe that
getting answers to the questions I had over my essay and revision will help improve my essay

My Revision Process Analysis
When it comes to my paper, my revision process was different from my papers article. The first
thing I did was self–edit/ revision. I started with ten pages, and I edited it down to 8pages. With the
peer review, Nick provided me with his great opinion, and that helped me take out redundant
information which brought my page count to 6pages. In Office hours, your overview helped me
narrow down my page numbers to 4pages. After the office hours, I worked extensively to
incorporate your advice into my papers. I followed your advice like going back to add dates in the
in–text citations, moving some topics from the different paragraph at various locations and making
sure I had the correct citations and references. The one thing I got stuck on and

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