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Negotiation Skills
This course involves participants working on processes and procedures that result in successful
negotiation through the use of group and individual activities, exercises and formal inputs.
Objectives
At the end of this course, delegates will be able to
• Distinguish between bargaining, influencing and negotiating
• Identify the key stages in negotiating
• Explain the key stages of negotiating
• Identify value added in negotiations
• Distinguish between compromise, agreement and consensus
• Practise the skills necessary for good negotiation
• Establishing rapport
• Active listening
• Choice of language and
• Perspectives
• Practise negotiating to YES
What is Negotiation?
Definition negotiate –
to confer with another with a view to compromise or agreement; to arrange or
bring about a desired object; to clear, get over, dispose of an
obstacle or difficulty
Oxford English Dictionary
Negotiation is the mutual act of coordinating areas of interest.
Negotiation is ….
Finding a way for all parties to gain something they value from the resolution of a position of
conflict.
You negotiate when you want to resolve something and both parties have something to gain from
the interaction and exchange. You influence when you have more to gain than the other party
Finding a way that enables both parties to work together in the future
Dictating, that is telling someone to do something, only works for a short time or when there is
an extreme emergency. If you want a long term relationship you need to negotiate.
Generally used in circumstances where each party has a similar power level
If you have the power then you don’t negotiate, you dictate !
What is Influencing? ….
Where one party has power over another party
A child can influence its parents to buy it an ice cream but it has little power to negotiate. When
a child throws a tantrum it is ‘negotiating’ with its emotions !
Where one party may have nothing to gain from the agreed action
Buying an ice-cream for a child has little impact on the parent, the person who gains the most
pleasure is the child. In fact the parent ‘loses’ the money of the ice-cream. If one party loses and
the other gains it is not negotiating that you are practising, but influencing.
Sometime where only one party makes the final decision
However much they scream, a child does not make the final decision, the parent does. In
negotiating both parties make a decision, and stick to it.
What is Bargaining? ..
Where there is give and take from both sides
Bargaining is a form of barter, a knocking down of the price from unrealistic high level and up
from an unrealistic low level. Everyone knows in bargaining that the first offers are ‘ridiculous’
but they are ritual stakes in the ground
Where neither party may appear to gain from the exchange
You sometimes bargain to spread the misery – for instance sharing the chore of washing up or
ironing.
Normally done on specifics such as price
Bargaining is about the detail, the specifics, not about the big picture.
Is a sub-set of negotiation
Once the basic principles have been agreed we bargain on the details, the nitty-gritty. If the
original negotiation is shaky the deal can fall apart at the detailed bargaining stage.
What Makes a Good Negotiator?
Behavioural Criteria
High observation skills
Able to listen, observe and record activities of others; dealing with a number of individuals at
once. Able to pick up the nuances in the room and to note body language.
Planning and Organising
The ability to set out in detail what they expect from the negotiations and to know their own
limits.
Able to move blockages
Able to choose the appropriate tool or statement to move on from a block rather than ‘throw in
the towel’. Able to notice when arguments are going round in circles and to identify barriers and
to work systematically through these barriers.
Develop rapport and empathy
Able to quickly establish and maintain rapport. Able to see the others’ points of view and
appreciate others’ feelings whilst holding onto their own view and desired outcome
Flexible attitude
Able to accept others viewpoints and arguments without giving in on all points. Ability to see
the broader picture.
Creativity
Able to think round or through a problem and to try something different to help solve the issue.
Exercise One
Assess your Current Skills as a Negotiator
In the questions below, rank yourself from 1 poor to 5 highly skilled in terms of your current
negotiating ability. Then, bearing in mind the type of deals you will be negotiating, rank yourself
how you wish to be.
Statement Rank
now
Want
to be
1 I find it easy to establish rapport
2 I find it easy to set outcomes in advance of discussions
3 I find it easy to obtain authority for negotiations
4 I find it easy to observe interactions
5 I find it easy to analyse offers
6 I find it easy to determine other party’s value add
7 I find it easy to determine other party’s negotiation limits
8 I find it easy to determine other party’s ‘point of no return’
9 I find it easy to change language to match that of other
party
10 I find it easy to help a discussion to progress when it is
blocked
11 I find it easy to give effective feedback to individuals
12 I find it easy to maintain my own integrity whilst negotiating
Time: Questionnaire 10 minutes
Discussion 10 minutes
Six Stages of Negotiation
In essence there are six main stages of negotiation and the book and course will follow these
through. These six stages are :-
♦ Preparation
♦ Discussions for information gathering
♦ Regroup
♦ Negotiating for resolution
♦ Reaching consensus
♦ Close
Stage 1: Preparation…
Identify the key issues
♦ What is the main problem?
♦ Who is concerned with it?
♦ What would happen if it did not exist?
♦ What happens now that it does exist?
♦ Who currently gains from it?
♦ Who currently loses from it?
♦ Get a very precise statement if the issues
Set outcomes : best and realistic
♦ What is the best we can hope for?
♦ What is the worst?
♦ At what point do we back off (BATNA 1)?
♦ Can we phase any of our outcomes?
♦ What about the other party (ies) ?
Set negotiation range (see overleaf)
Establish your BATNA2 and your FEP3 (see overleaf)
Obtain levels of negotiating authority
1
See below
2
Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement
3
Final Exit Point
Outcomes
It is worth spending time working out the answers to all the points below. Some are the
negatives of the others but it is good to define outcomes precisely so that you can recognize when
a negotiation is taking you to the correct path and when it is going off-course.
♦ What do we want?
♦ What do we not want?
♦ How do we want it?
♦ How don’t we want it ?
♦ Where do we want it?
♦ Where do we not want it?
♦ When do we want it?
♦ When don’t we want it?
♦ What will it be like?
♦ What will it be unlike?
♦ How will we know when we have got it?
♦ How will we know if we haven’t got it?
Negotiation Range
This is simply the difference between the minimum that we will accept and the maximum we
want. For instance if we have two groups negotiating, Group A and Group B we would hope
that they could come to an agreement. Where there is an overlap in the negotiation range then
there can be agreement.
Group A Group B
Lowest price £1,200 Highest price £4,500
Highest price £3,000 Lowest price £2,500
There is a negotiation range overlap from £2,500 to £3,000
BATNA = Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement
Defined by Roger Fry and William Ury in “Getting to ‘YES’”
If we cannot find a negotiated settlement – then what?
It is always good to ask this question – especially when faced with the best possible contract or
sale that your company has seen for several months. At what point would you walk away
because the prospective customer was making excessive demands?
In most circumstances there is an option we can take if we cannot reach agreement. If you ask
your manager for a pay rise and are refused then your BATNA may be to resign and look for a
better paid job elsewhere. It is not necessarily a pleasant option, but it is an option.
In some war and conflict situations the BATNA can be further hostilities.
If there is no alternative then we need to negotiate, negotiate, and negotiate !
So, set a BATNA and get agreement from your hierarchy on the BATNA. Then you will be able
to negotiate in confidence.
Final Exit Point
Given a BATNA when do you exit proceedings?
What is your ‘last stand’ position?
Is this backed up in your hierarchy? – there is nothing worse than reaching what you believe to
be your FEP, walking out of the meeting and then finding that people in your hierarchy take a
different position.
Think back to childhood, how often will a child ‘set’ parents against each other and having
reached a block from one parent ask the other and find the block overturned? The effect this has
on the authority of the parents is marked.
Negotiating Authority
♦ How much leeway do you have?
♦ How long will it take to go to a higher level?
♦ How do you keep higher levels informed of situation?
♦ When do you pull out of the discussions and send in a higher authority?
Communications
Research into the effects of communications has shown that the effects of body language or non-
verbal communication is very high. This means that for the Negotiator you need to be able to
interpret body language and understand what the individual is ‘saying’ with their arms, eyes and
posture. One word of warning - be careful to take a cluster of movements into account, not just
one single gesture.
Mehrabian (1969)
This research found that:-
Message impact:
Verbal 7%
Vocal 38%
Non-verbal 55%
100%
Birdwhistell (1971)
Birdwhistell found that the average person speaks words for a total of 11 minutes a day. An
average sentence lasts only 2.5 seconds and most communication (65%) is non-verbal. Like
Mehrabian he found that the verbal component of face-to-face conversations is less than 35% and
that over 65% of communication is done non-verbally. He contends that a well-trained person
can tell what a person is saying by the gestures they are making and that by looking at gestures,
Birdwhistell could tell what language people were talking!
Verbal communication is used for conveying information; non-verbal for feelings and showing
attitudes.
You will do an exercise on the words chosen and how they indicate what senses an individual
chooses to process information with most of the time. Be sure that as a Negotiator you use a
range of words so that everyone in the room can understand your meaning.
Exercise Two
Communication Questionnaire
You have ten minutes to complete the following questionnaire. Please answer every question. For
each of the following statements, please place a number next to every phase. Use the following
numbering system to indicate your preference.
4 = closest to describing you
3 = next best description
2 = next best
1 = least descriptive of you
1. I make important decisions based on:
• how I picture it working V
• how I feel about the person K
• which answer sounds most convincing A
• a detailed analysis of all the issues D
2. During an argument, I am most likely to be influenced by:
• how the other party sounds A
• how I feel they are feeling about the topic K
• whether I can see the other party’s viewpoint V
• the precision of the other party’s argument D
3. I most easily demonstrate my state of mind by:
• stating my feelings K
• the colours and clothes I wear V
• the words I choose D
• my tone of voice A
4. It is easiest for me to:
• select attractive colour combinations V
• identify the key rational points of an argument D
• tune in a radio setting A
• pick the most comfortable piece of furniture K
5.
• I am quick to make sense of new facts and information D
• I am in harmony with my surroundings A
• I am constantly aware of how my clothes feel on my body K
• I have a strong sense of colours and how they blend together V
Scoring: Add the numbers associated with each letter. There are five entries for each letter.
V K A D
1
2
3
4
5
TOTAL
NLP4
Communication Indicators
Visual
V
Auditory (Tonal)
A
Kinaesthetic
K
Auditory Digital
D
Memorise by seeing pictures.
Often have trouble
remembering verbal
instructions.
Less distracted by noise.
Can be bored by long verbal
sentences, because their
minds tend to wander.
Can repeat things back to
you easily.
Often distracted by noise.
Learn by listening.
Like music and to talk on
the telephone.
Tone of voice and words
used are important.
Respond to physical
rewards and touching.
Often talk very slowly and
breathy.
Memorise by doing or
walking through
something.
Go by ‘gut feel’
Spend some time talking
to themselves
Memorise steps,
procedures and sequences
Want to know if
something makes sense.
see hear feel sense
look listen touch experience
appear sound(s) grasp understand
view make music get hold of think
show harmonise slop through learn
dawn tune in/out catch on process
reveal be all ears tap into decide
envision ring bells make contact motivate
illuminate silence throw out consider
twinkle be heard hard change
clear resonate unfeeling perceive
foggy deaf (ear) concrete insensitive
hazy dissonance scrape distinct
focused overtones get a hold conceive
crystal clear unhearing solid know
Flash attune suffer question
Imagine outspoken unbudging be conscious
Picture tell impression analyse
Sparkling announce touch base communicate
I see what you mean
looking forward to..
A dark cloud on the horizon
Taking a dim view
Lighten up a bit
on the same wavelength
speak your mind
word for word
loud and clear
what do you say?
get a grip on the idea
hold on a moment
a cool customer
put my finger on it
heated argument
a smooth operator
what are the facts?
lets get down to basics
the bottom line is...
what precisely does this
mean?
4
NLP = Neuro Linguistic Programming
Exercise Three
Practising Different Communication Styles
• Pair up with someone on the course whose highest score is in a dimension that you score
low in. For instance if you are low on Visual but high on Auditory Digital; then pair with
someone who is high in Visual and low in Auditory Digital.
• Spend five minutes describing your house to the other person in your lowest style- try to
use words from that dimension.
• If you are listening, try to help if they slip into a different style - if they try giving you
facts ask for pictures; if they tell you about sounds ask them for feelings and so on.
• After five minutes reverse roles.
• As a pair, consider the implications of this information for good Negotiation
Timing: 20 minutes
Language - Recovering Choices
Gathering Information
People use a kind of shorthand when speaking. We generalise and delete information. This
exercise helps you to be able to recognise this and ask the appropriate questions to recover the
missing information.
General and Specifics
General
♦ May present things in random order
♦ Have overviews and summaries
♦ Use concepts and abstracts
♦ Use simpler sentences with few modifiers or details
♦ Appear to be extremely vague and woolly (to a Specific)
Specifics
♦ Speak in step-by-step sequences
♦ Use a great deal of modifiers, adverbs, adjectives
♦ Use proper names for people and places
♦ Only seem aware of the step before and the step after
♦ Appear to use exceptional details (to a General person)
Generalisation Examples
SITUATION HEAR ASK MEANING
Universal words Every, all, never,
always, etc.
Every?
All?
Always?
(Do you really mean
that) you always…..??
Restriction of Possibility Can't, impossible,
unable
"What stops you?"
"What would happen
if you did?"
What barriers do you
perceive?
Restriction of
Necessity:
Have to, Necessary,
must
"Or, (what would
happen?")
"What would happen
if we didn't?"
What consequences
do you perceive?
Nominalisations
Words which describe a
process, that exist in name
only
communication,
transportation etc.
“Who’s not?” “How
would you like to?”
“What does … mean
to you?”
How does the broad
category affect your
specifically?
Unspecified nouns and
verbs
Costs are rising,
work is harder, life is
more stressed
“which costs/work
in particular?”
“Whose life?”
What does this
category represent
specifically for you?
Simple negatives Not sure, not happy, “about what in
particular?”
Extract beyond the
negative to find out
where the
apprehension arises
Lack of reference They aren’t happy;
He doesn’t like this
“Who specifically?”
“Why is that person
affected?”
Try to encourage
identification of the
individual or group
concerned
Exercise Four
Language - Generalisations
In pairs and using the following examples, make up examples from your day to day work for
each of the categories, and assign an appropriate information recovery question
Universal words
Words which include the whole world, all time and space, such as all , ever, never, every, no
one, always, nothing etc.
Example
"We never give discounts"
• Your partner asks: "Never?" "What would happen if you did?"
My example
Recovery question
Restriction of Possibility
Words which claim that something is possible / impossible and can or can't be done.
Think of something which for you is 'impossible', or something at work you can't do
Example
I can't ask for a pay rise
• Your partner asks: "What stops you?"
• Your partner asks: "What would happen if you did?"
My example
Recovery question
Restriction of Necessity
Words which claim that something must occur, is necessary
Example
“I have to seek authority for that”
Have to, Necessary, must
• Your partner asks: "Or what would happen?"
• Your partner asks: "What would happen if we didn't?"
My example
Recovery question
Nominalisations
Words which describe a process, that exist in name only, making them nouns for example:
communication, transportation, etc.
Example
"We want to improve communications."
• Your partner asks: "Who's not communicating what to whom?"
• ...or : "How would you like to communicate?"
My example
Recovery question
Unspecified nouns and verbs
Example
"Costs are rising"
• Your partner asks: "Which costs?"
• Your partner asks: "Rising in what way", "Compared with what?"
• Your partner asks: "How specifically are they rising?"
My example
Recovery question
Simple Negatives
Example
"I am not sure"
• Your partner asks: "About what specifically?"
My example
Recovery question
Lack of reference
Words which indicate a third party such as they, others
Example
"They won’t like it"
• Your partner asks: "Who specifically won’t like it?"
My example
Recovery question
Stage 2: Discussions
♦ Meet to discover
♦ Practise active listening
♦ Avoid commitment
♦ Establish rapport
• Identify language patterns
• Identify interests and needs
• Separate the people from the problem
• Focus on interests not positions
Meet to discover
The original meeting is to find out what the other party wants and needs and to express your
wants and needs as well. It is an opportunity to share information and to start to create rapport
with the people. If you make it clear that this is what you want from the first meeting then
neither side will be disappointed with the meeting.
Active listening
This is a major topic and a vital skill in negotiating. It is covered in depth overleaf.
Active Listening
Introduction
We spend up to 80 per cent of our conscious hours using four basic communication skills:
♦ writing
♦ reading
♦ speaking and
♦ listening
Listening accounts for more than 50 per cent of that time, so we're actually spending 40 per cent
of our conscious time just listening. We tend to give little attention to the listening part of the of
the communication process, which is amazing considering the facts stated here.
On average, people retain only 25 per cent of what they hear. There are many reasons why this is
the case:
♦ We perceive listening as a passive activity and find the prolonged concentration required
impossible to maintain
♦ The average person speaks at about 130 words per minute, whereas our thinking speed is
about 500 words per minute. Consequently, we are continually jumping ahead of what is
actually being said. We often, therefore, go on 'mental walk-about', thinking of other things
♦ We don't clear our minds beforehand so the 'noise in our system' shuts out or distorts what is
being said
♦ The listener is tense with emotion so that his or her ability to listen is seriously impaired
♦ We are concerned with our reply so that the concentration is on this rather than what is being
said to us
♦ The perception of the listener may so differ from the perception of the talker that a totally
different interpretation of the information may occur
How can we improve our listening?
Quite simply by getting the sender of the message involved with the receiver to create a two-
way communication. The technique of making the process of communication two-way is
called 'ACTIVE LISTENING', which as the name suggests is an active not a passive process.
Active Listening Steps
The steps in active listening are:
A receives a message
B receives a message. This involves concentrating fully on what is being said
B states what s(he) has understood but makes no evaluations
A either agrees with B's interpretation or, if not, sends the message again
This process is continually repeated until understanding by both parties has been achieved
Active Listening Techniques
Two techniques that can help us become more competent at active listening are Summarising and
Reflecting.
Summarising
This is concerned with the factual side of the message and involves stating back to the speaker
the listener's understanding of the information. This paraphrasing should take place at regular
intervals and has the advantage of:
♦ checking understanding
♦ offering opportunities for clarification
♦ showing the speaker that you have been listening to what has been said, thus demonstrating
your interest
♦ giving the speaker feedback on how well the message has been expressed
Useful phrases are:
“As I understand it, what you are saying is ....”
“So your point is that ....”
Reflecting
This is like holding a mirror in front of the speaker, reflecting back phrases as you hear them.
This increases clarity and lets the speaker know that you are hearing accurately. You may be
reflecting back data or feelings. In the case of the latter, recognition of the speaker's feelings
builds empathy between you.
Non-verbal communication
Active listening is greatly enhanced by the judicious use of non-verbal communication, which
includes:
• the receiver making eye contact with the speaker 60 - 80 per cent of the time
• nodding and shaking the head when appropriate
• mirroring the speaker's body language, although it is important not to 'mimic' the
speaker's posture
Research has shown that we take in 7% by words, 38% by tone of voice and 55% from body
language. That means that HOW something is said, and HOW they hold themselves reveals
more than WHAT they say.
How to Improve your Listening Skills
ACTION REASONING
You must care enough to want to improve. Without this motivation, it will be too much
effort
Try to find an uninterrupted area in which to
converse.
Keeping your train of thought is difficult
when there are obstructions to
concentration
Be mindful of your own biases and prejudices… …so that they don't unduly influence your
listening
Pay careful attention to what's being said. Do not stop listening in order to plan a
rebuttal to a particular point
Be aware of 'red flag' words that might trigger
an overreaction or a stereotyped reaction.
Examples of this are 'Women's Libber' and
'Male Chauvinist'
Don't allow yourself to get too far ahead of the
speaker
Avoid trying to understand things too soon
At intervals, try to paraphrase what people
have been saying.
Give them the opportunity to learn what you
think you've been saying
Watch for key or 'buzz' words if you've lost
the train of the conversation.
This happens particularly when the speaker is
long-winded or has a tendency to ramble
Don't interrupt to demand clarification of
insignificant or irrelevant details
You can ask for these details at the end of
their talk time
Avoiding commitment
At the first meeting ensure that you take all suggestions ‘without prejudice’. This enables you to
listen to everything to put a number of proposals forward but without either side committing
themselves irrevocably.
This is best prefaced by “What if…” or “How would it be if we …” or “As a suggestion, if we..”
Establishing rapport
Rapport arises in many different ways. The key factors to establishing rapport are:
• Recognising the other party as an individual
• Recognising the person, not the issue
• Sharing your own feelings
• Speaking in their language
• Trusting the other party’s competence
• Matching voice tone and speed
• Eye contact
• Finding out the other’s interests
• Listening well
Identifying language patterns
NLP suggests that there are certain patterns of language that individuals prefer
♦ Visual – look, see, scenario, illustrate, brilliant
♦ Sound – hear, listen, sounds like, in harmony
♦ Feeling - grasp, get to grips with, concrete proposals
You have already
Included in language patterns are the use of filters.
Filters affect our decision-making ability and actions. They include:
♦ Towards – away from
♦ Global – specific
♦ Match – mismatch
Towards – away from
This filter determines whether we are motivated by a desire to try something different or to avoid
something unpleasant from the past. When you hear people talking about “boldly going” they
are Towards people; when they talk about “from poverty to riches” they are Away From people.
In negotiating a pay rise you will appeal to a Towards person by saying that with more pay you
will be able to focus on the future and the challenges it provides; you will gain more attention
from an Away From person by saying that the pay rise will prevent you from looking elsewhere
for another job and saving them from having to find someone else to do your work.
Global – specific
This filter explains how we approach the world. Global people see the whole planet and the
world of work – they find it hard to concentrate for long on minute details. Specific people see
the world as linear, one task at a time and sometimes fail to take in the whole picture.
In negotiating there is room for both approaches. However the better approach is to settle and
agree the global picture first then focus in on the details. Otherwise both parties will be
unsatisfied with the outcome. Some warring factions cannot even agree at very high levels of
globalisation (human life is sacred) which makes negotiation nigh on impossible.
Match – mismatch
The human brain is designed to look for similarities to try to form some patterns of the world and
to reduce the ‘confusion’ of all the millions of messages hitting the brain every second. For some
people they seek patterns too readily and can match a great many items and situations. For
others things are all different, unique and there is no room for matching and therefore
categorizing and generalities.
In negotiating you may wish to ,match a current situation with a past one and then try for the
same resolution. With matchers this will work; mis-matchers will not recognize even some
similarities.
Observing and Recording
It is important to develop skills in observing and recording as a Negotiator. You will need to do
both these at speed, and unobtrusively, when you are working with a group. You may in some
circumstances wish to ask another member of the group to record for you, but be aware that this
will take them out of the group situation and they may find re-entry difficult.
Observing
This skill involves seeing without judging what happens. Within a group, interactions occur
between various members; people react to statements; body language gives a clue to feelings. It
is very important to watch for non-spoken communication: gestures, facial expressions and the
like and also to listen to the tone of the spoken words which can also convey strong messages.
The task of observing is to watch what happens : who says what; who does what; who sits beside
whom; is this always consistent; who avoids whom.
Recording
It is important that you devise a method of recording the group interactions - verbal and non-
verbal and practise doing this accurately and quickly. This means that you can recall precise
words and gestures where necessary at group review or when there is some problem with your
group. Records should be accurate and precise.
Try not to summarise but to record precisely and to work out your own shorthand to help with
speed. As the group process is important you cannot be interrupting them to get them to slow
down while you write.
If you are recording body language then draw stick people; use initials and also use some of the
methods suggested below.
You will need to use your discretion when to write/record and when to observe.
Tools for Observing and Recording
Plus/Minus Sheets
A plus/minus sheet is a way of recording ‘good’ and ‘bad’ actions and words. It is used where
there can be some concerns over the group process and where the group seems to be fighting -
perhaps at the storming stage of group dynamics.
A sheet of paper is divided into two columns, + and -, and you record what takes place in the
columns. Note that this involves an element of subjective judgement by the Negotiator so you
need to establish what good and bad means in your terms - probably helping or hindering the
group attain its purpose.
+ -
KV Let’s reconsider the problem again RA No we all know what it is, the
stupid accounts system
KV That’s your opinion - I think it could
be a wider issue
MS The orders keep arriving late at
customer sites
JV Sales keep promising the earth
and do not consider the
problems in dispatch
Action/Say Sheets
This is similar to a plus/minus sheet except that here, rather than getting the Negotiator to make
judgements as they record the differences in body language and words are recorded. This will
include eye contact; table thumping; moving in/out from the group; arm movements; facial
expressions.
Again it is of value in review where you are interested in getting opinions from all members of
the group, not just the vocal ones. You can introduce a review by saying “Sue, I noticed that you
were frowning when Ray said “ we all know what (the problem) is, the stupid accounts
system” - what were you thinking?”
A say/action sheet is also a two column sheet where you record spoken words and also body
language of speaker and others. This is important. Often groups need Negotiation because the
members are poor at recognising non-verbal communication from others, or will not
acknowledge it.
Again you need to develop some shorthand - pictures, phrases, and so on to capture all the
nuances of non-verbal actions.
Note: It is easier to record actions than the words - they stay longer in your
mind.
Spoken Actions
RA we all know what the problem is, the
stupid accounts system
SJ frowns;
MS raises eyes
KL sits forward
Group Observation Sheet
We have prepared some Group Observation Sheets that will help you observe a group closely
and focus on behaviours. This sheet asks some questions and allows space for initials of
individuals. It can combine with a ‘plan’ of seating which you can also use to note how many
times individuals speak or are spoken to.
Do this by using either your own notation or the following:-
S = Speaker
R = Receiver
Quickly you will see a pattern starting to emerge in any group with ‘speakers’ and ‘receivers’.
Exercise Five
Group Observation Checklist
Find a situation where you have the opportunity to observe a group in action. This may have to
be watching your course colleagues discuss some topic or you may think about a recent group or
team meeting that you attended. If using memory, then make sure that the meeting was in the
past five days since our memories are notoriously bad at remembering details.
Complete the checklist below:-
Who talks to whom?
• Sketch the seating plan and put initials of each person in their appropriate places.
• Is there any ‘ranking’ order of seating? Do people sit next to ‘friends’?
• Remember S and R notation.
Checklist questions Initials
Who talks the most?
To whom do they talk ?
Who talks to them ?
When people are talking, where do they look?
Who interrupts whom?
Who is the leader of the group?
Who talks the least?
How are silent people treated?
Are some people listened to more than others?
Do they also do most of the talking?
Is there evidence of competition? Between whom? What is it?
Are decisions made by the few or everyone?
Who listens the most?
How do you know they are listening?
Who is telling others their ideas?
Who is selling their ideas?
How are ideas handled?
Who summarises?
Who keeps the group on target?
Who keeps time?
Key Quotes
In the table below capture some of the positive and negative quotes said at the meeting and the
initials of the person saying them. If you have time, write in brackets the reaction of the group to
these statements.
Positive quotes by Negative quotes by
Meeting topic
Did the topic of the meeting affect the way in which the meeting ran? Were people’s behaviours
different from what you normally expect?
General atmosphere
What is your impression of the general atmosphere in the meeting? Is it friendly? hostile?
resigned? competitive? enthusiastic?
What gives you this impression? - state words used; gestures; asides; body language
Leaving the meeting
Did the meeting end with a feeling of accomplishment? Were people positive about the meeting?
Was it productive in the views of the attendees? What evidence do you have for these views?
Stage 3: Regroup
♦ Time out for thought – evaluating the meeting
♦ Identify and categorise findings about other parties
♦ Revisit
• outcomes,
• Range, and
• Value Adds
Meeting Evaluation
Effective meetings occur when Negotiators and participants work to find a better way to get the
job done. Participants come to a meeting with ideas, skills, knowledge and experience. The
Negotiator’s job is to create an environment where ‘evaluation’ becomes a normal part of the
process.
Sources of Evaluation
There are three potential sources for evaluating meetings:
♦ Self-evaluation by the Negotiator
♦ Evaluation by a trained observer
♦ Evaluation by participants
All should contribute to improving a meeting. However, evaluations by trained observers and
participants tend to be broader in scope and more objective.
Self-Evaluation by the Negotiator
After a meeting is over, a Negotiator should ask,
“How did I do?”
“Where did things go well, and why?”
“Where did I have problems, and why?”
“What would I do differently next time?”
This is the minimum evaluation to be considered. A Negotiator will have impressions about
things that went well and problem areas that were encountered. A few minutes reflections on
these experiences can be helpful.
Evaluation by a Trained Observer
A trained observer should be familiar with the ingredients of an effective meeting, skilled in
making objective evaluation and accomplished at giving feedback. It is difficult to find
someone with all these qualifications.
A meeting observer usually sits at the back of the room and records notes on an evaluation
form. Notes that follow a ‘timeline’ of the meeting are most helpful.
Following the meeting, the observer may either report to the group and invite discussion
about how to improve the effectiveness of future meetings, or the trained observer may
choose to report privately to the meeting Negotiator to discuss improvement needs.
Evaluation by Participants
Participants are an excellent resource for evaluation. They have feelings and reactions to
meetings, events and leadership styles that others may not choose to acknowledge. An open
discussion is usually the best way to get feedback from participants.
After the Meeting
If you do not have time at the end of the meeting, these evaluation techniques are available:
• Distribute evaluation forms to participants asking them to complete and return them to
you
• Telephone a cross-section of the group and request a verbal evaluation of the meeting
• Visit members of the meeting and ask them to evaluate in a face-to-face situation
• Check with the meeting ‘owner’ against the objective agreed beforehand
Benefits of Evaluation
The benefits of an evaluation will be worthwhile if the following conditions exist:
• You want to improve future meetings
• You receive honest input from evaluators
• Evaluators are candid in their assessment
• You receive feedback in a positive way
• You incorporate improvements into future meetings
Value Added
♦ What can you give other parties that adds value to them but involves negligible cost or
expense on your part?
♦ What else would you like from the other parties that is outside current scope of negotiation?
♦ Is your extra demand easy to fulfil?
♦ Is your ‘gift’ easy to fulfil?
When deciding on a Value Add you must think of something that would benefit the other party,
that is in your gift to offer and that will not cost you much in terms of money or resources. It
may be something such as a help line phone number for 30 days after purchase; allowing them to
use your company’s name as a customer on their literature; making the product in their
company colours; whatever.
Power
♦ Power is given as well as taken
♦ Power comes from
• The individual
• Their title
• The situation
• Individual abilities
♦ Ensure you have maximum power before negotiating – but don’t expect necessarily to use it !
It is the perception others hold about your power that gives you the ability to induce compliance
or to influence their behaviour. Therefore, power is like money in the bank. The person trying to
cash a cheque not only has to have funds available they also have to give the impression of
affluence to prevent checks being made on their signature for confirmation.
Thus a person’s power base has to be known to others before it can be used effectively. If you are
to increase the probability of influencing others you need information about how others perceive
you and what sources of power they most respect.
Stage 4: Negotiate for Resolution
♦ Negotiate the big picture first
♦ Cover all the issues under consideration
♦ Shift between big picture and details
♦ Trade concessions
♦ Bargain value adds
The Big Picture First
♦ Start with broad principles
♦ Consider the intention of the negotiation
♦ “agree on the wood then the trees then the leaves” i.e. from the general to the specific
♦ Chunk up to agreement on big scale
♦ Then go down into the details
Where you are unable to get agreement at even a metaphysical level (“nature” or “the planet”)
then there are major problems
Concessions
These are where each side starts to move further along their range of negotiation towards the
other party. Concessions are rarely made without something comparable from the other side.
It is a case of “if we….., then will you….?”
Compromise
This is where each party ‘gives in’ to the other party. It can result in neither party getting what
they want.
How often have you been unable to decide with a partner about the film you want to see and
ending up going to see something that neither of you wanted particularly to see but was a
compromise solution? Perhaps the correct negotiated solution in this case would have been to go
one night to the film that A wanted to see and another night to the film that B wanted to see?
This way both of you gain something rather than an unsatisfactory compromise.
Generally speaking, compromise is not a satisfactory outcome from negotiation.
Stage 5: Reach Consensus
♦ Restate final conclusions
♦ Check that everyone has authority to agree the deal
♦ Check with each party individually that they agree
Restate final conclusions
It is important to restate all the stages of the agreement thoroughly and to get everyone to agree
on them –preferably by signing – before a break. Otherwise people will forget details or will only
remember the final points of the discussion. Try to construct the final agreement in words that
you can understand – if later it has to go to lawyers then so be it, but he general wording should
be readily comprehensible by all.
Check on authority to sign
This is vital. If someone does not have this authority then until they get it you have not reached
an agreement, just and understanding!
Check individually with each person
By going round the table, restating the agreement and asking a simple
“Do you agree with ………………………….?” And requiring a simple Yes or No you can judge
whether everyone is really with you or not.
Where people hesitate on Yes, or stutter, or say OK or I suppose so or whatever then you will
know that they are not fully behind the agreement. A straight YES is needed (or even NO). It is
the time to come off the fence and ‘put up or shut up’.
Assuming that you get a straight YES then you can move to the close
Stage 6: Close
♦ Check that all parties are happy
♦ Shake hands or sign
♦ Inform all interested internal parties
♦ Keep promises
This is fairly self-explanatory. Some form of formal agreement is useful – a ritual such as signing
or shaking hands helps and then the necessity of ensuring that everyone informs the other
interested parties in their interest groups. If they have the authority to make the agreement then
this is not the time for others to disagree, it is for them to work with the negotiated agreement.
The final point – Keep Promises – may look obvious but there are some widely publicised
negotiations where on return one party or another fails to keep its promises. If made in good
faith they either have to be kept or a meeting convened to find out why they cannot be worked
and a solution found.
Congratulations! You have now finished learning about Negotiation Skills.
Exercise Six
Reassess your Current Skills as a Negotiator
In the questions below, rank yourself from 1 poor to 5 highly skilled in terms of your current
negotiating ability. Then, bearing in mind the type of deals you will be negotiating, rank yourself
how you wish to be.
Statement Rank
now
Want
to be
1 I find it easy to establish rapport
2 I find it easy to set outcomes in advance of discussions
3 I find it easy to obtain authority for negotiations
4 I find it easy to observe interactions
5 I find it easy to analyse offers
6 I find it easy to determine other party’s value add
7 I find it easy to determine other party’s negotiation limits
8 I find it easy to determine other party’s ‘point of no return’
9 I find it easy to change language to match that of other
party
10 I find it easy to help a discussion to progress when it is
blocked
11 I find it easy to give effective feedback to individuals
12 I find it easy to maintain my own integrity whilst negotiating
Time: Questionnaire 10 minutes
Discussion 10 minutes
Exercise Seven
Action Plan
• Using the results of your self-assessment questionnaire (Exercise ), complete this Action
Plan. You should aim to put in at least 3 actions that you will complete within a specific
time frame
You may need to ask for help from someone in the group, or the trainer, or your manager, or
a colleague to complete the activity. If that person is here on the course, get their
commitment now before you both leave.
ACTION By
when?
With
whom?
Date
completed
1
2
3
Timing: 20 minutes individual work
15 minutes negotiation and discussion

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Negotiation skills course__workbook__170

  • 1. Negotiation Skills This course involves participants working on processes and procedures that result in successful negotiation through the use of group and individual activities, exercises and formal inputs. Objectives At the end of this course, delegates will be able to • Distinguish between bargaining, influencing and negotiating • Identify the key stages in negotiating • Explain the key stages of negotiating • Identify value added in negotiations • Distinguish between compromise, agreement and consensus • Practise the skills necessary for good negotiation • Establishing rapport • Active listening • Choice of language and • Perspectives • Practise negotiating to YES
  • 2. What is Negotiation? Definition negotiate – to confer with another with a view to compromise or agreement; to arrange or bring about a desired object; to clear, get over, dispose of an obstacle or difficulty Oxford English Dictionary Negotiation is the mutual act of coordinating areas of interest. Negotiation is …. Finding a way for all parties to gain something they value from the resolution of a position of conflict. You negotiate when you want to resolve something and both parties have something to gain from the interaction and exchange. You influence when you have more to gain than the other party Finding a way that enables both parties to work together in the future Dictating, that is telling someone to do something, only works for a short time or when there is an extreme emergency. If you want a long term relationship you need to negotiate. Generally used in circumstances where each party has a similar power level If you have the power then you don’t negotiate, you dictate ! What is Influencing? …. Where one party has power over another party A child can influence its parents to buy it an ice cream but it has little power to negotiate. When a child throws a tantrum it is ‘negotiating’ with its emotions ! Where one party may have nothing to gain from the agreed action Buying an ice-cream for a child has little impact on the parent, the person who gains the most pleasure is the child. In fact the parent ‘loses’ the money of the ice-cream. If one party loses and the other gains it is not negotiating that you are practising, but influencing. Sometime where only one party makes the final decision However much they scream, a child does not make the final decision, the parent does. In negotiating both parties make a decision, and stick to it.
  • 3. What is Bargaining? .. Where there is give and take from both sides Bargaining is a form of barter, a knocking down of the price from unrealistic high level and up from an unrealistic low level. Everyone knows in bargaining that the first offers are ‘ridiculous’ but they are ritual stakes in the ground Where neither party may appear to gain from the exchange You sometimes bargain to spread the misery – for instance sharing the chore of washing up or ironing. Normally done on specifics such as price Bargaining is about the detail, the specifics, not about the big picture. Is a sub-set of negotiation Once the basic principles have been agreed we bargain on the details, the nitty-gritty. If the original negotiation is shaky the deal can fall apart at the detailed bargaining stage.
  • 4. What Makes a Good Negotiator? Behavioural Criteria High observation skills Able to listen, observe and record activities of others; dealing with a number of individuals at once. Able to pick up the nuances in the room and to note body language. Planning and Organising The ability to set out in detail what they expect from the negotiations and to know their own limits. Able to move blockages Able to choose the appropriate tool or statement to move on from a block rather than ‘throw in the towel’. Able to notice when arguments are going round in circles and to identify barriers and to work systematically through these barriers. Develop rapport and empathy Able to quickly establish and maintain rapport. Able to see the others’ points of view and appreciate others’ feelings whilst holding onto their own view and desired outcome Flexible attitude Able to accept others viewpoints and arguments without giving in on all points. Ability to see the broader picture. Creativity Able to think round or through a problem and to try something different to help solve the issue.
  • 5. Exercise One Assess your Current Skills as a Negotiator In the questions below, rank yourself from 1 poor to 5 highly skilled in terms of your current negotiating ability. Then, bearing in mind the type of deals you will be negotiating, rank yourself how you wish to be. Statement Rank now Want to be 1 I find it easy to establish rapport 2 I find it easy to set outcomes in advance of discussions 3 I find it easy to obtain authority for negotiations 4 I find it easy to observe interactions 5 I find it easy to analyse offers 6 I find it easy to determine other party’s value add 7 I find it easy to determine other party’s negotiation limits 8 I find it easy to determine other party’s ‘point of no return’ 9 I find it easy to change language to match that of other party 10 I find it easy to help a discussion to progress when it is blocked 11 I find it easy to give effective feedback to individuals 12 I find it easy to maintain my own integrity whilst negotiating Time: Questionnaire 10 minutes Discussion 10 minutes
  • 6. Six Stages of Negotiation In essence there are six main stages of negotiation and the book and course will follow these through. These six stages are :- ♦ Preparation ♦ Discussions for information gathering ♦ Regroup ♦ Negotiating for resolution ♦ Reaching consensus ♦ Close
  • 7. Stage 1: Preparation… Identify the key issues ♦ What is the main problem? ♦ Who is concerned with it? ♦ What would happen if it did not exist? ♦ What happens now that it does exist? ♦ Who currently gains from it? ♦ Who currently loses from it? ♦ Get a very precise statement if the issues Set outcomes : best and realistic ♦ What is the best we can hope for? ♦ What is the worst? ♦ At what point do we back off (BATNA 1)? ♦ Can we phase any of our outcomes? ♦ What about the other party (ies) ? Set negotiation range (see overleaf) Establish your BATNA2 and your FEP3 (see overleaf) Obtain levels of negotiating authority 1 See below 2 Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement 3 Final Exit Point
  • 8. Outcomes It is worth spending time working out the answers to all the points below. Some are the negatives of the others but it is good to define outcomes precisely so that you can recognize when a negotiation is taking you to the correct path and when it is going off-course. ♦ What do we want? ♦ What do we not want? ♦ How do we want it? ♦ How don’t we want it ? ♦ Where do we want it? ♦ Where do we not want it? ♦ When do we want it? ♦ When don’t we want it? ♦ What will it be like? ♦ What will it be unlike? ♦ How will we know when we have got it? ♦ How will we know if we haven’t got it? Negotiation Range This is simply the difference between the minimum that we will accept and the maximum we want. For instance if we have two groups negotiating, Group A and Group B we would hope that they could come to an agreement. Where there is an overlap in the negotiation range then there can be agreement. Group A Group B Lowest price £1,200 Highest price £4,500 Highest price £3,000 Lowest price £2,500 There is a negotiation range overlap from £2,500 to £3,000
  • 9. BATNA = Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement Defined by Roger Fry and William Ury in “Getting to ‘YES’” If we cannot find a negotiated settlement – then what? It is always good to ask this question – especially when faced with the best possible contract or sale that your company has seen for several months. At what point would you walk away because the prospective customer was making excessive demands? In most circumstances there is an option we can take if we cannot reach agreement. If you ask your manager for a pay rise and are refused then your BATNA may be to resign and look for a better paid job elsewhere. It is not necessarily a pleasant option, but it is an option. In some war and conflict situations the BATNA can be further hostilities. If there is no alternative then we need to negotiate, negotiate, and negotiate ! So, set a BATNA and get agreement from your hierarchy on the BATNA. Then you will be able to negotiate in confidence. Final Exit Point Given a BATNA when do you exit proceedings? What is your ‘last stand’ position? Is this backed up in your hierarchy? – there is nothing worse than reaching what you believe to be your FEP, walking out of the meeting and then finding that people in your hierarchy take a different position. Think back to childhood, how often will a child ‘set’ parents against each other and having reached a block from one parent ask the other and find the block overturned? The effect this has on the authority of the parents is marked. Negotiating Authority ♦ How much leeway do you have? ♦ How long will it take to go to a higher level? ♦ How do you keep higher levels informed of situation? ♦ When do you pull out of the discussions and send in a higher authority?
  • 10. Communications Research into the effects of communications has shown that the effects of body language or non- verbal communication is very high. This means that for the Negotiator you need to be able to interpret body language and understand what the individual is ‘saying’ with their arms, eyes and posture. One word of warning - be careful to take a cluster of movements into account, not just one single gesture. Mehrabian (1969) This research found that:- Message impact: Verbal 7% Vocal 38% Non-verbal 55% 100% Birdwhistell (1971) Birdwhistell found that the average person speaks words for a total of 11 minutes a day. An average sentence lasts only 2.5 seconds and most communication (65%) is non-verbal. Like Mehrabian he found that the verbal component of face-to-face conversations is less than 35% and that over 65% of communication is done non-verbally. He contends that a well-trained person can tell what a person is saying by the gestures they are making and that by looking at gestures, Birdwhistell could tell what language people were talking! Verbal communication is used for conveying information; non-verbal for feelings and showing attitudes. You will do an exercise on the words chosen and how they indicate what senses an individual chooses to process information with most of the time. Be sure that as a Negotiator you use a range of words so that everyone in the room can understand your meaning.
  • 11. Exercise Two Communication Questionnaire You have ten minutes to complete the following questionnaire. Please answer every question. For each of the following statements, please place a number next to every phase. Use the following numbering system to indicate your preference. 4 = closest to describing you 3 = next best description 2 = next best 1 = least descriptive of you 1. I make important decisions based on: • how I picture it working V • how I feel about the person K • which answer sounds most convincing A • a detailed analysis of all the issues D 2. During an argument, I am most likely to be influenced by: • how the other party sounds A • how I feel they are feeling about the topic K • whether I can see the other party’s viewpoint V • the precision of the other party’s argument D 3. I most easily demonstrate my state of mind by: • stating my feelings K • the colours and clothes I wear V • the words I choose D • my tone of voice A 4. It is easiest for me to: • select attractive colour combinations V • identify the key rational points of an argument D • tune in a radio setting A • pick the most comfortable piece of furniture K 5. • I am quick to make sense of new facts and information D • I am in harmony with my surroundings A • I am constantly aware of how my clothes feel on my body K • I have a strong sense of colours and how they blend together V
  • 12. Scoring: Add the numbers associated with each letter. There are five entries for each letter. V K A D 1 2 3 4 5 TOTAL
  • 13. NLP4 Communication Indicators Visual V Auditory (Tonal) A Kinaesthetic K Auditory Digital D Memorise by seeing pictures. Often have trouble remembering verbal instructions. Less distracted by noise. Can be bored by long verbal sentences, because their minds tend to wander. Can repeat things back to you easily. Often distracted by noise. Learn by listening. Like music and to talk on the telephone. Tone of voice and words used are important. Respond to physical rewards and touching. Often talk very slowly and breathy. Memorise by doing or walking through something. Go by ‘gut feel’ Spend some time talking to themselves Memorise steps, procedures and sequences Want to know if something makes sense. see hear feel sense look listen touch experience appear sound(s) grasp understand view make music get hold of think show harmonise slop through learn dawn tune in/out catch on process reveal be all ears tap into decide envision ring bells make contact motivate illuminate silence throw out consider twinkle be heard hard change clear resonate unfeeling perceive foggy deaf (ear) concrete insensitive hazy dissonance scrape distinct focused overtones get a hold conceive crystal clear unhearing solid know Flash attune suffer question Imagine outspoken unbudging be conscious Picture tell impression analyse Sparkling announce touch base communicate I see what you mean looking forward to.. A dark cloud on the horizon Taking a dim view Lighten up a bit on the same wavelength speak your mind word for word loud and clear what do you say? get a grip on the idea hold on a moment a cool customer put my finger on it heated argument a smooth operator what are the facts? lets get down to basics the bottom line is... what precisely does this mean? 4 NLP = Neuro Linguistic Programming
  • 14. Exercise Three Practising Different Communication Styles • Pair up with someone on the course whose highest score is in a dimension that you score low in. For instance if you are low on Visual but high on Auditory Digital; then pair with someone who is high in Visual and low in Auditory Digital. • Spend five minutes describing your house to the other person in your lowest style- try to use words from that dimension. • If you are listening, try to help if they slip into a different style - if they try giving you facts ask for pictures; if they tell you about sounds ask them for feelings and so on. • After five minutes reverse roles. • As a pair, consider the implications of this information for good Negotiation Timing: 20 minutes
  • 15. Language - Recovering Choices Gathering Information People use a kind of shorthand when speaking. We generalise and delete information. This exercise helps you to be able to recognise this and ask the appropriate questions to recover the missing information. General and Specifics General ♦ May present things in random order ♦ Have overviews and summaries ♦ Use concepts and abstracts ♦ Use simpler sentences with few modifiers or details ♦ Appear to be extremely vague and woolly (to a Specific) Specifics ♦ Speak in step-by-step sequences ♦ Use a great deal of modifiers, adverbs, adjectives ♦ Use proper names for people and places ♦ Only seem aware of the step before and the step after ♦ Appear to use exceptional details (to a General person)
  • 16. Generalisation Examples SITUATION HEAR ASK MEANING Universal words Every, all, never, always, etc. Every? All? Always? (Do you really mean that) you always…..?? Restriction of Possibility Can't, impossible, unable "What stops you?" "What would happen if you did?" What barriers do you perceive? Restriction of Necessity: Have to, Necessary, must "Or, (what would happen?") "What would happen if we didn't?" What consequences do you perceive? Nominalisations Words which describe a process, that exist in name only communication, transportation etc. “Who’s not?” “How would you like to?” “What does … mean to you?” How does the broad category affect your specifically? Unspecified nouns and verbs Costs are rising, work is harder, life is more stressed “which costs/work in particular?” “Whose life?” What does this category represent specifically for you? Simple negatives Not sure, not happy, “about what in particular?” Extract beyond the negative to find out where the apprehension arises Lack of reference They aren’t happy; He doesn’t like this “Who specifically?” “Why is that person affected?” Try to encourage identification of the individual or group concerned
  • 17. Exercise Four Language - Generalisations In pairs and using the following examples, make up examples from your day to day work for each of the categories, and assign an appropriate information recovery question Universal words Words which include the whole world, all time and space, such as all , ever, never, every, no one, always, nothing etc. Example "We never give discounts" • Your partner asks: "Never?" "What would happen if you did?" My example Recovery question
  • 18. Restriction of Possibility Words which claim that something is possible / impossible and can or can't be done. Think of something which for you is 'impossible', or something at work you can't do Example I can't ask for a pay rise • Your partner asks: "What stops you?" • Your partner asks: "What would happen if you did?" My example Recovery question
  • 19. Restriction of Necessity Words which claim that something must occur, is necessary Example “I have to seek authority for that” Have to, Necessary, must • Your partner asks: "Or what would happen?" • Your partner asks: "What would happen if we didn't?" My example Recovery question
  • 20. Nominalisations Words which describe a process, that exist in name only, making them nouns for example: communication, transportation, etc. Example "We want to improve communications." • Your partner asks: "Who's not communicating what to whom?" • ...or : "How would you like to communicate?" My example Recovery question
  • 21. Unspecified nouns and verbs Example "Costs are rising" • Your partner asks: "Which costs?" • Your partner asks: "Rising in what way", "Compared with what?" • Your partner asks: "How specifically are they rising?" My example Recovery question
  • 22. Simple Negatives Example "I am not sure" • Your partner asks: "About what specifically?" My example Recovery question
  • 23. Lack of reference Words which indicate a third party such as they, others Example "They won’t like it" • Your partner asks: "Who specifically won’t like it?" My example Recovery question
  • 24. Stage 2: Discussions ♦ Meet to discover ♦ Practise active listening ♦ Avoid commitment ♦ Establish rapport • Identify language patterns • Identify interests and needs • Separate the people from the problem • Focus on interests not positions Meet to discover The original meeting is to find out what the other party wants and needs and to express your wants and needs as well. It is an opportunity to share information and to start to create rapport with the people. If you make it clear that this is what you want from the first meeting then neither side will be disappointed with the meeting. Active listening This is a major topic and a vital skill in negotiating. It is covered in depth overleaf.
  • 25. Active Listening Introduction We spend up to 80 per cent of our conscious hours using four basic communication skills: ♦ writing ♦ reading ♦ speaking and ♦ listening Listening accounts for more than 50 per cent of that time, so we're actually spending 40 per cent of our conscious time just listening. We tend to give little attention to the listening part of the of the communication process, which is amazing considering the facts stated here. On average, people retain only 25 per cent of what they hear. There are many reasons why this is the case: ♦ We perceive listening as a passive activity and find the prolonged concentration required impossible to maintain ♦ The average person speaks at about 130 words per minute, whereas our thinking speed is about 500 words per minute. Consequently, we are continually jumping ahead of what is actually being said. We often, therefore, go on 'mental walk-about', thinking of other things ♦ We don't clear our minds beforehand so the 'noise in our system' shuts out or distorts what is being said ♦ The listener is tense with emotion so that his or her ability to listen is seriously impaired ♦ We are concerned with our reply so that the concentration is on this rather than what is being said to us ♦ The perception of the listener may so differ from the perception of the talker that a totally different interpretation of the information may occur How can we improve our listening? Quite simply by getting the sender of the message involved with the receiver to create a two- way communication. The technique of making the process of communication two-way is called 'ACTIVE LISTENING', which as the name suggests is an active not a passive process.
  • 26. Active Listening Steps The steps in active listening are: A receives a message B receives a message. This involves concentrating fully on what is being said B states what s(he) has understood but makes no evaluations A either agrees with B's interpretation or, if not, sends the message again This process is continually repeated until understanding by both parties has been achieved Active Listening Techniques Two techniques that can help us become more competent at active listening are Summarising and Reflecting. Summarising This is concerned with the factual side of the message and involves stating back to the speaker the listener's understanding of the information. This paraphrasing should take place at regular intervals and has the advantage of: ♦ checking understanding ♦ offering opportunities for clarification ♦ showing the speaker that you have been listening to what has been said, thus demonstrating your interest ♦ giving the speaker feedback on how well the message has been expressed Useful phrases are: “As I understand it, what you are saying is ....” “So your point is that ....” Reflecting This is like holding a mirror in front of the speaker, reflecting back phrases as you hear them. This increases clarity and lets the speaker know that you are hearing accurately. You may be reflecting back data or feelings. In the case of the latter, recognition of the speaker's feelings builds empathy between you.
  • 27. Non-verbal communication Active listening is greatly enhanced by the judicious use of non-verbal communication, which includes: • the receiver making eye contact with the speaker 60 - 80 per cent of the time • nodding and shaking the head when appropriate • mirroring the speaker's body language, although it is important not to 'mimic' the speaker's posture Research has shown that we take in 7% by words, 38% by tone of voice and 55% from body language. That means that HOW something is said, and HOW they hold themselves reveals more than WHAT they say.
  • 28. How to Improve your Listening Skills ACTION REASONING You must care enough to want to improve. Without this motivation, it will be too much effort Try to find an uninterrupted area in which to converse. Keeping your train of thought is difficult when there are obstructions to concentration Be mindful of your own biases and prejudices… …so that they don't unduly influence your listening Pay careful attention to what's being said. Do not stop listening in order to plan a rebuttal to a particular point Be aware of 'red flag' words that might trigger an overreaction or a stereotyped reaction. Examples of this are 'Women's Libber' and 'Male Chauvinist' Don't allow yourself to get too far ahead of the speaker Avoid trying to understand things too soon At intervals, try to paraphrase what people have been saying. Give them the opportunity to learn what you think you've been saying Watch for key or 'buzz' words if you've lost the train of the conversation. This happens particularly when the speaker is long-winded or has a tendency to ramble Don't interrupt to demand clarification of insignificant or irrelevant details You can ask for these details at the end of their talk time
  • 29. Avoiding commitment At the first meeting ensure that you take all suggestions ‘without prejudice’. This enables you to listen to everything to put a number of proposals forward but without either side committing themselves irrevocably. This is best prefaced by “What if…” or “How would it be if we …” or “As a suggestion, if we..” Establishing rapport Rapport arises in many different ways. The key factors to establishing rapport are: • Recognising the other party as an individual • Recognising the person, not the issue • Sharing your own feelings • Speaking in their language • Trusting the other party’s competence • Matching voice tone and speed • Eye contact • Finding out the other’s interests • Listening well Identifying language patterns NLP suggests that there are certain patterns of language that individuals prefer ♦ Visual – look, see, scenario, illustrate, brilliant ♦ Sound – hear, listen, sounds like, in harmony ♦ Feeling - grasp, get to grips with, concrete proposals
  • 30. You have already Included in language patterns are the use of filters. Filters affect our decision-making ability and actions. They include: ♦ Towards – away from ♦ Global – specific ♦ Match – mismatch Towards – away from This filter determines whether we are motivated by a desire to try something different or to avoid something unpleasant from the past. When you hear people talking about “boldly going” they are Towards people; when they talk about “from poverty to riches” they are Away From people. In negotiating a pay rise you will appeal to a Towards person by saying that with more pay you will be able to focus on the future and the challenges it provides; you will gain more attention from an Away From person by saying that the pay rise will prevent you from looking elsewhere for another job and saving them from having to find someone else to do your work. Global – specific This filter explains how we approach the world. Global people see the whole planet and the world of work – they find it hard to concentrate for long on minute details. Specific people see the world as linear, one task at a time and sometimes fail to take in the whole picture. In negotiating there is room for both approaches. However the better approach is to settle and agree the global picture first then focus in on the details. Otherwise both parties will be unsatisfied with the outcome. Some warring factions cannot even agree at very high levels of globalisation (human life is sacred) which makes negotiation nigh on impossible. Match – mismatch The human brain is designed to look for similarities to try to form some patterns of the world and to reduce the ‘confusion’ of all the millions of messages hitting the brain every second. For some people they seek patterns too readily and can match a great many items and situations. For others things are all different, unique and there is no room for matching and therefore categorizing and generalities. In negotiating you may wish to ,match a current situation with a past one and then try for the same resolution. With matchers this will work; mis-matchers will not recognize even some similarities.
  • 31. Observing and Recording It is important to develop skills in observing and recording as a Negotiator. You will need to do both these at speed, and unobtrusively, when you are working with a group. You may in some circumstances wish to ask another member of the group to record for you, but be aware that this will take them out of the group situation and they may find re-entry difficult. Observing This skill involves seeing without judging what happens. Within a group, interactions occur between various members; people react to statements; body language gives a clue to feelings. It is very important to watch for non-spoken communication: gestures, facial expressions and the like and also to listen to the tone of the spoken words which can also convey strong messages. The task of observing is to watch what happens : who says what; who does what; who sits beside whom; is this always consistent; who avoids whom. Recording It is important that you devise a method of recording the group interactions - verbal and non- verbal and practise doing this accurately and quickly. This means that you can recall precise words and gestures where necessary at group review or when there is some problem with your group. Records should be accurate and precise. Try not to summarise but to record precisely and to work out your own shorthand to help with speed. As the group process is important you cannot be interrupting them to get them to slow down while you write. If you are recording body language then draw stick people; use initials and also use some of the methods suggested below. You will need to use your discretion when to write/record and when to observe.
  • 32. Tools for Observing and Recording Plus/Minus Sheets A plus/minus sheet is a way of recording ‘good’ and ‘bad’ actions and words. It is used where there can be some concerns over the group process and where the group seems to be fighting - perhaps at the storming stage of group dynamics. A sheet of paper is divided into two columns, + and -, and you record what takes place in the columns. Note that this involves an element of subjective judgement by the Negotiator so you need to establish what good and bad means in your terms - probably helping or hindering the group attain its purpose. + - KV Let’s reconsider the problem again RA No we all know what it is, the stupid accounts system KV That’s your opinion - I think it could be a wider issue MS The orders keep arriving late at customer sites JV Sales keep promising the earth and do not consider the problems in dispatch Action/Say Sheets This is similar to a plus/minus sheet except that here, rather than getting the Negotiator to make judgements as they record the differences in body language and words are recorded. This will include eye contact; table thumping; moving in/out from the group; arm movements; facial expressions. Again it is of value in review where you are interested in getting opinions from all members of the group, not just the vocal ones. You can introduce a review by saying “Sue, I noticed that you were frowning when Ray said “ we all know what (the problem) is, the stupid accounts system” - what were you thinking?” A say/action sheet is also a two column sheet where you record spoken words and also body language of speaker and others. This is important. Often groups need Negotiation because the members are poor at recognising non-verbal communication from others, or will not acknowledge it. Again you need to develop some shorthand - pictures, phrases, and so on to capture all the nuances of non-verbal actions. Note: It is easier to record actions than the words - they stay longer in your mind.
  • 33. Spoken Actions RA we all know what the problem is, the stupid accounts system SJ frowns; MS raises eyes KL sits forward Group Observation Sheet We have prepared some Group Observation Sheets that will help you observe a group closely and focus on behaviours. This sheet asks some questions and allows space for initials of individuals. It can combine with a ‘plan’ of seating which you can also use to note how many times individuals speak or are spoken to. Do this by using either your own notation or the following:- S = Speaker R = Receiver Quickly you will see a pattern starting to emerge in any group with ‘speakers’ and ‘receivers’.
  • 34. Exercise Five Group Observation Checklist Find a situation where you have the opportunity to observe a group in action. This may have to be watching your course colleagues discuss some topic or you may think about a recent group or team meeting that you attended. If using memory, then make sure that the meeting was in the past five days since our memories are notoriously bad at remembering details. Complete the checklist below:- Who talks to whom? • Sketch the seating plan and put initials of each person in their appropriate places. • Is there any ‘ranking’ order of seating? Do people sit next to ‘friends’?
  • 35. • Remember S and R notation. Checklist questions Initials Who talks the most? To whom do they talk ? Who talks to them ? When people are talking, where do they look? Who interrupts whom? Who is the leader of the group? Who talks the least? How are silent people treated? Are some people listened to more than others? Do they also do most of the talking? Is there evidence of competition? Between whom? What is it? Are decisions made by the few or everyone? Who listens the most? How do you know they are listening? Who is telling others their ideas? Who is selling their ideas? How are ideas handled? Who summarises? Who keeps the group on target? Who keeps time?
  • 36. Key Quotes In the table below capture some of the positive and negative quotes said at the meeting and the initials of the person saying them. If you have time, write in brackets the reaction of the group to these statements. Positive quotes by Negative quotes by
  • 37. Meeting topic Did the topic of the meeting affect the way in which the meeting ran? Were people’s behaviours different from what you normally expect? General atmosphere What is your impression of the general atmosphere in the meeting? Is it friendly? hostile? resigned? competitive? enthusiastic? What gives you this impression? - state words used; gestures; asides; body language Leaving the meeting Did the meeting end with a feeling of accomplishment? Were people positive about the meeting? Was it productive in the views of the attendees? What evidence do you have for these views?
  • 38. Stage 3: Regroup ♦ Time out for thought – evaluating the meeting ♦ Identify and categorise findings about other parties ♦ Revisit • outcomes, • Range, and • Value Adds Meeting Evaluation Effective meetings occur when Negotiators and participants work to find a better way to get the job done. Participants come to a meeting with ideas, skills, knowledge and experience. The Negotiator’s job is to create an environment where ‘evaluation’ becomes a normal part of the process. Sources of Evaluation There are three potential sources for evaluating meetings: ♦ Self-evaluation by the Negotiator ♦ Evaluation by a trained observer ♦ Evaluation by participants All should contribute to improving a meeting. However, evaluations by trained observers and participants tend to be broader in scope and more objective.
  • 39. Self-Evaluation by the Negotiator After a meeting is over, a Negotiator should ask, “How did I do?” “Where did things go well, and why?” “Where did I have problems, and why?” “What would I do differently next time?” This is the minimum evaluation to be considered. A Negotiator will have impressions about things that went well and problem areas that were encountered. A few minutes reflections on these experiences can be helpful. Evaluation by a Trained Observer A trained observer should be familiar with the ingredients of an effective meeting, skilled in making objective evaluation and accomplished at giving feedback. It is difficult to find someone with all these qualifications. A meeting observer usually sits at the back of the room and records notes on an evaluation form. Notes that follow a ‘timeline’ of the meeting are most helpful. Following the meeting, the observer may either report to the group and invite discussion about how to improve the effectiveness of future meetings, or the trained observer may choose to report privately to the meeting Negotiator to discuss improvement needs. Evaluation by Participants Participants are an excellent resource for evaluation. They have feelings and reactions to meetings, events and leadership styles that others may not choose to acknowledge. An open discussion is usually the best way to get feedback from participants. After the Meeting If you do not have time at the end of the meeting, these evaluation techniques are available: • Distribute evaluation forms to participants asking them to complete and return them to you • Telephone a cross-section of the group and request a verbal evaluation of the meeting • Visit members of the meeting and ask them to evaluate in a face-to-face situation • Check with the meeting ‘owner’ against the objective agreed beforehand
  • 40. Benefits of Evaluation The benefits of an evaluation will be worthwhile if the following conditions exist: • You want to improve future meetings • You receive honest input from evaluators • Evaluators are candid in their assessment • You receive feedback in a positive way • You incorporate improvements into future meetings Value Added ♦ What can you give other parties that adds value to them but involves negligible cost or expense on your part? ♦ What else would you like from the other parties that is outside current scope of negotiation? ♦ Is your extra demand easy to fulfil? ♦ Is your ‘gift’ easy to fulfil? When deciding on a Value Add you must think of something that would benefit the other party, that is in your gift to offer and that will not cost you much in terms of money or resources. It may be something such as a help line phone number for 30 days after purchase; allowing them to use your company’s name as a customer on their literature; making the product in their company colours; whatever.
  • 41. Power ♦ Power is given as well as taken ♦ Power comes from • The individual • Their title • The situation • Individual abilities ♦ Ensure you have maximum power before negotiating – but don’t expect necessarily to use it ! It is the perception others hold about your power that gives you the ability to induce compliance or to influence their behaviour. Therefore, power is like money in the bank. The person trying to cash a cheque not only has to have funds available they also have to give the impression of affluence to prevent checks being made on their signature for confirmation. Thus a person’s power base has to be known to others before it can be used effectively. If you are to increase the probability of influencing others you need information about how others perceive you and what sources of power they most respect.
  • 42. Stage 4: Negotiate for Resolution ♦ Negotiate the big picture first ♦ Cover all the issues under consideration ♦ Shift between big picture and details ♦ Trade concessions ♦ Bargain value adds The Big Picture First ♦ Start with broad principles ♦ Consider the intention of the negotiation ♦ “agree on the wood then the trees then the leaves” i.e. from the general to the specific ♦ Chunk up to agreement on big scale ♦ Then go down into the details Where you are unable to get agreement at even a metaphysical level (“nature” or “the planet”) then there are major problems Concessions These are where each side starts to move further along their range of negotiation towards the other party. Concessions are rarely made without something comparable from the other side. It is a case of “if we….., then will you….?” Compromise This is where each party ‘gives in’ to the other party. It can result in neither party getting what they want. How often have you been unable to decide with a partner about the film you want to see and ending up going to see something that neither of you wanted particularly to see but was a compromise solution? Perhaps the correct negotiated solution in this case would have been to go one night to the film that A wanted to see and another night to the film that B wanted to see? This way both of you gain something rather than an unsatisfactory compromise. Generally speaking, compromise is not a satisfactory outcome from negotiation.
  • 43. Stage 5: Reach Consensus ♦ Restate final conclusions ♦ Check that everyone has authority to agree the deal ♦ Check with each party individually that they agree Restate final conclusions It is important to restate all the stages of the agreement thoroughly and to get everyone to agree on them –preferably by signing – before a break. Otherwise people will forget details or will only remember the final points of the discussion. Try to construct the final agreement in words that you can understand – if later it has to go to lawyers then so be it, but he general wording should be readily comprehensible by all. Check on authority to sign This is vital. If someone does not have this authority then until they get it you have not reached an agreement, just and understanding! Check individually with each person By going round the table, restating the agreement and asking a simple “Do you agree with ………………………….?” And requiring a simple Yes or No you can judge whether everyone is really with you or not. Where people hesitate on Yes, or stutter, or say OK or I suppose so or whatever then you will know that they are not fully behind the agreement. A straight YES is needed (or even NO). It is the time to come off the fence and ‘put up or shut up’. Assuming that you get a straight YES then you can move to the close
  • 44. Stage 6: Close ♦ Check that all parties are happy ♦ Shake hands or sign ♦ Inform all interested internal parties ♦ Keep promises This is fairly self-explanatory. Some form of formal agreement is useful – a ritual such as signing or shaking hands helps and then the necessity of ensuring that everyone informs the other interested parties in their interest groups. If they have the authority to make the agreement then this is not the time for others to disagree, it is for them to work with the negotiated agreement. The final point – Keep Promises – may look obvious but there are some widely publicised negotiations where on return one party or another fails to keep its promises. If made in good faith they either have to be kept or a meeting convened to find out why they cannot be worked and a solution found. Congratulations! You have now finished learning about Negotiation Skills.
  • 45. Exercise Six Reassess your Current Skills as a Negotiator In the questions below, rank yourself from 1 poor to 5 highly skilled in terms of your current negotiating ability. Then, bearing in mind the type of deals you will be negotiating, rank yourself how you wish to be. Statement Rank now Want to be 1 I find it easy to establish rapport 2 I find it easy to set outcomes in advance of discussions 3 I find it easy to obtain authority for negotiations 4 I find it easy to observe interactions 5 I find it easy to analyse offers 6 I find it easy to determine other party’s value add 7 I find it easy to determine other party’s negotiation limits 8 I find it easy to determine other party’s ‘point of no return’ 9 I find it easy to change language to match that of other party 10 I find it easy to help a discussion to progress when it is blocked 11 I find it easy to give effective feedback to individuals 12 I find it easy to maintain my own integrity whilst negotiating Time: Questionnaire 10 minutes Discussion 10 minutes
  • 46. Exercise Seven Action Plan • Using the results of your self-assessment questionnaire (Exercise ), complete this Action Plan. You should aim to put in at least 3 actions that you will complete within a specific time frame You may need to ask for help from someone in the group, or the trainer, or your manager, or a colleague to complete the activity. If that person is here on the course, get their commitment now before you both leave. ACTION By when? With whom? Date completed 1 2 3 Timing: 20 minutes individual work 15 minutes negotiation and discussion