Impacting Family message from Bill and Dawn Bowan at the October 2, 2010 Living Marriage young couples event at Elmbrook Church. Week one of the three week Having a Marriage of Influence series.
BILLDiscuss: In today’s world influence is thought to be associated with money, power, politics, etc… We are called to be lights in this world – a Godly influence to those around us. We will focus on this topic the next 3 weeks and really yearn to find tangible ways to influence the world and to learn from each other how to accomplish this in a way that honors Christ. Today we will focus on how marriage influences your family!
BILLIntro night and intro us.DAWNPrayer
DAWN“Family” might mean different things to each of you… We thought we’d share a little about our family… One year ago we were loving our family of 2 and dreaming about what an expanded family of 3 or more could look like… dreaming about being parents and loving the idea of having a little one to love!…today this is our reality!
BILLHow you influence your family today will determine the legacy left in the next generation…Discuss with spouse this question – ask for volunteers to share… Discuss goals for her and that our focus should really be 100% that she hers “God’s voice” in her life. (reference Pete Briscoe)
DAWNTonight want to take some time to discuss 3 different aspects of Family…
DAWNInsert Modern Family clip…This is how Hollywood sees today’s family unit…. Definitely not ideal or perfect or Christlike…
DAWN Not only fictional viewpoint… but reality TV has a big focus on family as well… most of which are filled with controversy, turmoil and brokenness.We should think of Jesus as a part of our family – as a person sitting at our dining room table or in our living room.Because the tv examples and culture does not reflect how Christ would have us live, that further shows the importance of us being a light and an example to the world of how we should live – what are the statistics for Christian families and how are children impacted by the Church
BILLhttp://www.barna.org/family-kids-articles/391-does-having-children-make-parents-more-active-churchgoers?q=family+statisticsInsert – pie chart from barna website
BILLReduce verbiage…http://www.barna.org/family-kids-articles/321-new-research-explores-the-long-term-effect-of-spiritual-activity-among-children-and-teensDiscuss: In some ways you would think it would be a higher % … These statistics can be discouraging – church attendance alone does not necessarily build a strong Christian foundation. What direction does the Bible give to help us establish a foundation that becomes a Godly legacy.
BILL
BILLStart with verses from I Timothy … Set the stage for what Timothy is focusing on and discuss Christ’s call to lead your family FIRST!
DAWNWe’ll talk about this a little later on within the application part, but these verses really should be guidance for daily living… each of us need to challenge ourselves to have Christ be a major part of our lives – not just a Sunday church activity. We also need to support our spouses and act upon this challenge and continually “check” ourselves and where we are on this journey.
DawnWe think of a lot of different things we train our child to do… sleep training and potty training and training wheels for their bikes… Definition: to develop or form the habits, thoughts or behavior by discipline or instruction.So much emphasis on the number of words a toddler says or what college a high schooler is accepted to attend… we need to TRAIN to have an understanding of Christ!
BILLTalk about how we are still working in this area and that we are challenged too…
BILLPrayer and devotionsPsalm 19 – as we begin each day – determine that God’s love will guide what we do and sayDiscuss: Commit to simple things… make a prayer list that you keep next to your child’s bed, make it a habit to pray, ask them what they want to pray for/aboutMaybe use story of Addison & Clay: Playing Jesus and the Disciples…
BILLBased on research interviewing 3,300 American teenagers“Moralistic therapeutic deism” = watered down faith portraying God as devine therapistMost teens cannot speak articulately about their faithToo much emphasis on “being nice” & just keeping kids away from drugs and sexCalls to witness, take action, be involved our missingNeed to instill a deep faith that will “bear the weight of deeper questions”Parents should “do something radical” to live out their faith in front of their childrenDiscuss: Article and Dean’s book “Almost Christian” - share personal story about growing up in the Catholic church – focus on “good deeds” etc – easy to agree with… how did it become REAL
DAWNDiscuss: Bill and I have a very interesting mix of family situations. We have one set of parents that are Christians and truly show daily examples of Christ’s love to those around them and to us. We have another set of parents who are not Christians and who over the years have really challenged us to “set a standard” as this slide urges us to do… Beyond not being Christians, there is often tension present during visits b/c of anger, fighting and a substance abuse problem… It seems as tho when we are visiting we go with good intentions of sharing and shining, but we end up just trying to “not upset the apple cart” – so to speak and to get in and out and hope that nothing too upsetting happens!Christ died for us and shows us the ultimate grace daily – we need to show grace to family members … be reminded of the price Christ paid.
DAWNDiscuss: Our families and road blocksDiscuss the fruit of the Spirit – this is where we start! – Gal 5:22: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.Discuss tangible ways to fight against hiding our light. Plan in advance ways to bring up Christ in conversation.Ask the Holy Spirit for words and boldness when opportunities present themselves.Stay calm when stressful circumstances arise.Ask your spouse for support/help. Be a team!
DAWNDiscuss: Our families and road blocksDiscuss the fruit of the Spirit – this is where we start! – Gal 5:22: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.Discuss tangible ways to fight against hiding our light. Plan in advance ways to bring up Christ in conversation.Ask the Holy Spirit for words and boldness when opportunities present themselves.Stay calm when stressful circumstances arise.Ask your spouse for support/help. Be a team!