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Why Do You Need This Stuff?
If you were good with women in general, you would
know how to get the specific girl you want.
To keep the girlfriend you want you cannot be needy.
Knowing it could be a long time before you meet
another girl while she can go out and meet another guy
at any time guy often causes jealousy, insecurity, and
Why Do You Need This Stuff?...
The confidence and social skills you build learning to be
good with women will help you to maintain a better
relationship and make you a better role model for your
You may not even know what kind of woman you really
want until you’ve had some experience dating.
The confidence and social skills you build leaning to be
good with women will help you in all areas of your life.
Why Do You Need This Stuff?....
Being a failure with women is being a failure at one of
your core purposes and can leave a dark cloud hanging
over all of your other accomplishments.
Being good with women is fun.
Being back with women sucks
Become Good with women
How Most Guys Are
Has a scarcity mentality, and thinks that the one girl he
likes is the only one he could ever have a real
Place women on a pedestal.
Blames his lack of success with women on not having
money or looks.
Weak sense of reality and fears rejection.
How Most Guys Are…….
Makes excuses for his natural desires.
Attaches too much meaning to his interactions with
Tries to logically persuade women into liking hi and has
no idea how to get an emotional response.
Tries to impress and please people.
Radiates neediness and insecurity.
Sells himself short and makes himself to available
Shift in Thinking: Men Don’t
Need Money or Looks
Believe it or not money and looks are “logical” entities
Social conditioning dictates that these things are attractive,
which gives some of the guys who have them the CONFIDENCE
to act attractively around women.
This leads guys to wrongly deduce “it must be his money or
What a woman responds to are her EMOTIONS.
To be attractive to women, they must feel an emotional
response to you.
That comes from confidence, humor, social skills, dominance,
charisma, being different and unpredictable, etc..
Shift In Thinking: You Can Learn To Be Good
With Women Just Like Any Other Skill
The world is your pickup lab.
All rejection is feedback.
Take nothing personally. The same girl who rejected you
probably would have like you if you’d conveyed your
personality more attractively.
Shift In Thinking: You Can Learn To Be
Good With Women Just Like Any Other
Think long term and go after the skill: be process
oriented not outcome oriented.
Progressively desensitize yourself to being around
women and taking the lead.
It’s just socializing. Socializing is 100% normal.
Small chunk all learnings every night.
Shift In Thinking: Women Who Have Sex
With You Are Not All Sluts
The best way to get the girl you want is to have sex
with her as soon as possible
Women want a man who knows he wants and how to get
She usually won’t help you do this. She wants you to
figure it out for yourself.
Sometimes guys will wait to have sex with the girls they
really like because they feel like they have sex too
quickly that it will wreck the future relationship.
“ I can learn the magic lines to get women, jump out of
the shadows, get one, and take her back to my nerdlair.”
“This is too scary. I want the magic pill.”
“I’ve never accomplished anything in my life, I don’t
like myself, and yet I can’t understand why I’m not
good at this.”
Cool Guy Thinking
I will build confidence and social skills over a period of
I will be a naturally attractive guy.
I will become a better person for women to be with,
inside and out.
I will commit to stepping out of my comfort zone and
getting myself out there.
I don’t view this as work anyway. It’s fun
How Do you Get Good With
Commit to going out x-nights per week.
Commit to starting conversations with x-number of
You learn how to open conversations with anyone.
You learn to keep the conversation going.
How Do you Get Good With
You learn to ask for a number.
You learn to work the phone.
You learn to do a “day 2” (a date).
You learn to bring a girl home.
How do you get Good with
You learn to physically escalate.
All the while you learn about your body language, her
body language, confidence, humor, charisma, and sexual
When you start out pick a default way to start
conversations, hook attention, create a vibe, get
physical comfort, ask for a number, and move to
That way you have no excuses to sit there when you see
a girl you want to meet.
Clubs have the number of girls that you need to practice
Clubs have the number of girls that you need to hit
Clubs make daytime seem easy.
Learn attitudes and styles of interactions of social
Learn to hold court
Learn to befriend large groups of people
Learn to handle social pressure
Learn to out-alpha guys
Learn to handle funny logistical puzzles
If you can’t do clubs
Some guys can’t do clubs because they have a lifestyle
or occupation that makes it inconvenient or impossible.
If so, you must find any social gathering where you can
meet women easily.
That varies from city to city, but wherever you are go
out and find where meeting large numbers of women is
realistic so that you can practice.
Not Putting up with nonsense
Lack of accountability
Girls as choosers (sort of)
Change her mood not her mind
Girls live in the emotion of the moment and backwards
rationalize (we do too, but more in other areas)
Secret Society (there’s a double standard for one type
of guy to another)
Girl eye code (so as to not feel slutty and ratify
Why girls are drawn to clubs subconsciously
Clubs as a revalidation venue and blow off steam
venue… On some level, girls going there wanting to
meet a cool guy.
Dancing as sexual exhibitionism.
Some girls are screwed up (just like some guys) because
they learned from their family that fighting is a
precursor to love.
Value matrix: they want men to fall in love with them,
they dance for hours, coquette, style themselves, read
Cosmo strategy guides, hold out sex with boyfriends,
make their boyfriends jealous to generate emotions.
Sometimes people will try to force you into a submissive
role that isn’t really who you are.
This can happen often in environments where people
are drunk or with girls who are used to guys putting
them on a pedestal.
Examples of that could be:
When a guy says, “Show me how cool you are!”
When a girl just met says, “buy me a drink.”
When someone who wouldn’t reciprocate says, “Go to the
store and et me some food.”
When a girl you just me says, “Is that a pickup line?” or
you’re a jerk!”
When that happens, answering logically means that you buy
into that frame.
Instead of responding logically, your strongest responses are:
1. To answer straightforwardly, but be visibly emotionally
unaffected by what they’re trying to do.
2. To not answer at all as if what they said was too far outside
of your reality to process.
3. To cut their thread off by not responding and asserting a
new topic of conversation
4. To answer in the way they want but make them wait.
5. To answer almost in the way they want but do something
funny that’s slightly different.
To jokingly call them out for trying to step up.
To joke that what they said is playing up to earlier
observations you made of them.
To joke that they’re too strong for you to handle and
that they win
To answer with something equally random and absurd as
the role they’re asserting.
To answer cryptically and make them guess what you
To answer their question or do what they ask, but make
them do something first.
To jokingly imitate them.
To give them a weird look
To ignore them entirely.
To playfully misinterpret what they said, jokingly suggesting that:
They tried to compliment you.
They tried to impress you
They tried to come on to you.
They were kidding and trying to entertain or help you.
They said something funny and weird that they didn’t mean to say.
They mumbled and you couldn’t hear them (making them repeat themselves).
This kind of frame control can be one of the most severely misunderstood aspects
of social dynamics. It’s something that’s to be used sparingly otherwise it
immediately comes across as obnoxious overcompensation.
Elements of Good Pickup
Don’t get stuck inside your memorizing a structure.
Go with the flow
Any solid pick up has the following elements:
Elements of Good Pickup
Accomplishment intro, or Joke merge, or swap out.
Joking around with your friends and inside jokes.
Body language towards your wing.
Getting your wing in with a 2set “my friend is bored”
2-set dynamics with 2 on 2 approaches
You and your friend tooling each other as a joke to
Warm versus cold approaches
Working the room versus sticking to one girl
No eye contact is necessary.. “You just appeared”
Get attention (tap on shoulder if she’s not facing you)
Establish dominance with your eye contact and voice.
Keep talking until they open up…. “No way out”
Structure opportunities to help them to talk.
If girls ask you questions don’t let them take over and
If girls are seated then preferably either stand them up
or sit down.
Handling a rough landing with breaking rapport, pacing
Getting comfortable so you can work.
Engaging late comers (don’t go backwards, but engage
Reinitiating lost or interrupted approaches
Determining the relationships within the group
Getting alone time with the girl.
Approaching girls facing the bar
Approaching girls on the move
Approaching girls at a table (Is a seat available? Is a
purse on the seat?)
Approaching girls alone who wants to find her friends
Approaching mixed (guy/girl) groups.
Future Adventure Projection (FAPs)
Busting them on their mannerisms
Elastic band snapback effect
Qualifying and Challenging
Imitating them or other people.
physical in nature (very
Moving her around
Slow Down Speaking
Tell funny or interesting stories
Teach her funny things
Ask her questions and misinterpret her answers
Deep and wide rapport
Make her want to find out more about you
Vibing versus giving advice or having a set purpose
Essence of nerds
Building energy in the interaction
Knowing when to pipe in and understanding hierarchies
Having a standard of what you’ll respond to so she
wants to impress
Understanding and demonstrating authority in her
Teaching her things that make her feel closer to you.
Qualification and how it makes you showing interest OK
Psychology behind qualification
Qualifying and then backpeddling
Using the emotionally unexplained
Showing her unique value to you
Giving your criteria and having her try to reach it
A good vibe is truly the best and most natural qualifier
Let’s hang out later. Get you your phone. Here’s my
number. Call me so I have your number.”
“You know what? You’re drunk aren’t you? I like you and
would have called you, but you’re too drunk and you’ll
forget about me. Are you drunk right now? If I call you,
will you remember me?”
Rule: OVERHYPE WHEREEVER YOU’RE GOING
Meet your friends
Meet new people in the club
Take her to dance
Take her to get a drink (water is good)
See different parts of the club
Checking out a different venue
Go to after party
Go to eat
Go back to your house (give fun/interesting reason)
Go back to your room (give fun/interesting/nonchalant
Get on your bed
Wash rinse repeat
Teasing by moving forward
and pulling away
Not arguing with token
Stopping and joking around
to make it not a big deal
Playing hard to get
Going for it when it’s right
When you call a girl you
might feel apprehensive
because you don’t want to
lose the validation of her
like you previously.
Realize that regardless of
her reaction, it doesn’t
devalidate that you need a
Also realize that she may
have like you in the
moment but could have a
million reasons not to see
you again (boyfriend, too
The other reason you might
feel apprehension is
because you can’t read her
body language or see what
she’s thinking like you can
face to face.
That goes away with
You never know which girls
will call you back.
If you have trouble on the
phone you can use what
you talked about on your
last call to get your mouth
Sometimes it’s not a bad
idea to just call and chat
without suggesting a meet.
Through trial-and-error, you
will eventually get a sense
for when a girl is up for a
second meet up, and you’ll
know when it suggest it.
Use the numbers of girls
who don’t like you to work
on your conversation skills.
Take time out every one in a while to call all your numbers.
It’s not a bad idea to keep your computer near by and have a brief
ledger of each girl and what you talked about.
Bring her somewhere you enjoy
Draw her into your world. Make it cool.
A day 2 should be casual, and if you can do something fun
that doesn’t involve money then all the better.
It’s OK if she brings her friends.
It’s OK if you bring your friends.
It’s a great idea to bring her to your house, then leave, and
come back later.
Have a repeatable plan that works for you
Nice guy: Too supplicating.
Macho Guy: Too arrogant.
Both are coming from a place of reaction and
Good guy: A good mix between the two. You have a
strong sense of who you are.
Implementing a Habit
Realize you’re not cut from a different cloth.
You might not be that smart, but other people aren’t
that smart either.
What one man can do, another man can do.
Don’t wait for a girl to dump you. That is reactive.
Be proactive and create the habit before the problem
Implementing a Habit
1- Get an idea of what you want
2- Formulate a plan of how often you need to show up
to get there.
3- Accept that your new activity is a part of your life for
the duration of the time you’ve decided, and never
decide based on emotions if you’re going to show up or
not. Just show up.
Implementing a Habit
4-Don’t worry if you’re getting results, just stick to the
plan with blind faith, and make your criteria for success
just to show up.
5- Make it a hobby, look at the details critically without
taking advice dogmatically, and take the initiative to
shift the focus of your training when your intuition tells
you that it might help.