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Fun at Call Centre!!!

Read my Blog: http://iambetterthanthebest.blogspot.com
no offense, but its really funny...

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Fun at Call Centre!!!

  2. 2.   1 ) Tech Support    : &quot;I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.&quot;         Customer    : &quot;Ok.&quot;      Tech Support   : &quot;Did you get a pop-up menu?&quot;      Customer    : &quot;No.&quot;      Tech Support   : &quot;Ok. Right click again. Do you   see a pop-up menu?&quot;      Customer    : &quot;No.&quot;      Tech Support    : &quot;Ok, sir. Can you tell me what  you have done up   until this point?&quot;      Customer    : &quot;Sure, you told me to write 'click'   and I wrote 'click'.&quot;  
  3. 3. 2) Customer    : &quot;I received the software update  you sent, but I am still getting the same error  message.&quot;       Tech Support    : &quot;Did you install the update?&quot;        Customer: &quot;No. Oh, am I supposed to install it  to get it to work?&quot;
  4. 4.       3)Customer   : &quot;I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.&quot;      Tech Support   : &quot;Tell me what you've done.&quot;      Customer    : &quot;I typed 'A: SETUP'.&quot;      Tech Support   : &quot;Ma'am, remove the disk and     tell me what it says.&quot;      Customer   : &quot;It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore   and Recovery disk'.&quot;       Tech Support     : &quot;Insert the MS Word setup   disk.&quot;      Customer     : &quot;What?&quot;      Tech Support: &quot;Did you buy MS word?&quot;     Customer: &quot;No...&quot;
  5. 5.       4).Customer   : &quot;Do I need a computer to use your software?&quot;      Tech Support   : ?!%#$   (welll pretend to smile)       5).Tech Support    : &quot;Ok, in the bottom left hand   side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?&quot;      Customer    : &quot;Wow. How can you see my screen from   there?&quot;       Tech support   :  ##### ***
  6. 6. 6) Tech Support : &quot;What type of computer do you have?&quot;      Customer   : &quot;A white one.&quot;     Tech support  :  ******_____#### 7). Tech Support   : &quot;What operating system are  you running?&quot;      Customer   : &quot;Pentium.&quot;     Tech support    :  ////-----+++ 8). Customer   : &quot;My computer's telling me I   performed an illegal abortion.&quot;       Tech support   :  ??????
  7. 7.       9).Cus tomer   : &quot;I have Microsoft Exploder.&quot;      Tech Support  : ?!%#$ 10).Customer    : &quot;How do I print my voicemail?&quot;         Tech support   :  ??????
  8. 8. 11). Customer   : &quot;You've got to fix my computer.  I urgently need to print document, but the computer      won't boot properly.&quot;     Tech Support    : &quot;What does it say?&quot;     Customer   : &quot;Something about an error and non-system disk.&quot;     Tech Support   : &quot;Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?&quot;     Customer   : &quot;No, but there's a sticker saying  there's an Intel inside.&quot;    Tech support   :  @@@@@
  9. 9. 12). Tech Support: &quot;Just call us back if  there's a problem. We're open 24 hours.&quot;      Customer: &quot;Is that Eastern time?&quot; 13). Tech Support   : &quot;What does the screen say  now?&quot;      Customer   : &quot;It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.&quot;      Tech Support   : &quot;Well?&quot;      Customer   : &quot;How do I know when it's ready?&quot;    Tech support   :  *** ---- ++++
  10. 10. 14). A plain computer illiterate   guy rings   tech support to report that his computer is faulty.      Tech: What's the problem?      User: There is smoke coming out of the power  supply.       Tech:   (keep quite)      Tech: You'll need a new power supply.      User: No, I don't! I just need to change the   startup files.      Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll  need to replace it      User: No way! Someone told me that I just  needed to change the startup and it will fix the       problem! All I need is for you to tell me the  command.       Tech support::       10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.           Tech support::(hush hush)     Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our   customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS     command that will fix the problem.      User: I knew it!      Tech   : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKECOM at     the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let  me know how it goes.
  11. 11.       10 minutes later.      User   : It didn't work. The power supply is  still smoking.      Tech    : Well, what version of DOS are you using?      User   : MS-DOS 6.22.      Tech   : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft     and ask them for a patch that will give you the  file. Let me know how it goes.     1 hour later.     User  : I need a new power supply.     Tech support   : How did you come to that conclusion?           Tech support  :  (hush hush)      User   : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him   about what you said, and he started asking questions      about the make of power supply.      Tech: Then what did he say?      User: He told me that my power supply isn't   compatible with NOSMOKE.
  12. 12.   15) customer care officer:I need a product  identification number  right now and may I help u in        finding it out?      Cust: sure      CCO: could u left click on start and do u find  'My Computer'?      Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I  find your computer? Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...it's still on my desk... sorry .
  13. 13. Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Is that your left or my left? Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and..... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !
  14. 14. Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it... Customer: I have problems printing in red ... Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
  15. 15. Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working. Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.
  16. 16. Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!
  17. 17. Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? A customer couldn't get on the Internet: - Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.
  18. 18. Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer. Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !
  19. 19. Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you? Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can You please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
  20. 20. Helpdesk: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter &quot; a &quot;, but how do I get the circle around