Self compassion is not blaming others for your mistakes. Its about taking responsibility for things that went wrong and not blaming yourself. There is a diff between taking responsibilty and leanring frm youor mistakes and in blaming yourself all the time for it.
According to Kristin Neff (2003), self-compassion involves “being open to and moved by one’s own suffering, experiencing feelings of caring and kindness toward oneself, taking an understanding, nonjudgmental attitude toward one’s inadequacies and failures, and recognizing that one’s experience is part of the common human experience”.
now you may ask – hw can I accept myself with the mistakes. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you will keep repeating the mistakes. It simply means becoming aware of where you went wrong and accepting that learning from that. Self balme dorsnt accomplish anything ecept more unnecessary guilt.
Behavig with yoursel the way you expect otehrs to behave with you is the core according to me.
If you are compassionate towards yourself 1. You will be reducing the impact of negative events in your life. 2. You will be more likely to feel motivated and overcome even major setbacks. 3. It will increase your self esteem in turn. In fact, people with high self esteem are the ones who are compassionate towards themselves. 4. You will be feeling more positive and energetic.
Everything that happened in your life is not your fualt. It cnanot be because at every step of the way we make decisions and in the same way others make decisions and choices.. Others choices affect us and so do ours. Taking all the responsibilty on your self is not necessary. Give some and take some. There is differnece between blaimgn someone and saying that well so and so was resposbile for what happened to me but I can change that now. With Eft, Its possible to work on accepting what happened. It will not make the experience posisitve but it will make it neutral. Internal and external locus of control. In some cultures people place a huigh value on externally driven actions – this happened because of karma, etc… and in some cultures people place imporatnce on individual actions. Both have their value. But in my opiniopn its good to have a more balanced opinion. Take repsonsibilty where its needed and place it on others where that is needed. ?If we keep thinking eveyrthing starts and ends with us, the load will become very heavy. One imporatnt distinction that we need to make is the way we think about responsibity. Whatever someone else has done, at the end of the we think about it, and stay attached ot it. Because what they did is over. We keep it alive within us by we represent within us. This is what nlp talks about.
So give and take… best way to be.
