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Resilience 13 days of inspired living bonus



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Resilience 13 days of inspired living bonus

  1. 1. AKASH KARIA’S 13-Days of Inspired Living Designed to help you live your best life A Publication of APK www.AkashKaria.com
  2. 2. DAY ONE Your Circle of Control 1
  3. 3. ON DISAPPOINTMENT Feeling hurt? Feeling disappointed? Perhaps someone let you down. Perhaps something didn't work out the way that you wanted it to. Things will happen in your life that are outside your control. When bad things happen to good people...
  4. 4. Perhaps you got rejected from that job you really wanted. Maybe someone let you down. Maybe you tried to launch a business but it didn't work out. Those are all things that are outside your circle of control. However, what is within your circle of control is how you react to those situations. You have full control of how you choose to respond to a situation. You have full control over how you perceive that situation and what you do about it. Unfortunately, most people don't make a conscious decision about how to perceive a situation and what to do about it. Instead, they allow their minds to run on autopilot - which means that they take the situation and immediately jump to conclusions that may not be in their best interests, such as: • "I'm just not good enough” • "People cannot be trusted" • "Business is not my strength". I'm here to tell you that you can choose to stop driving on autopilot and make a conscious decision about how you feel and what you do. Instead of allowing yourself to feel limited, you can turn any situation to make you feel empowered!
  5. 5. THE THREE STEPS 1 - Identify what you're feeling The first step is to identify the emotion that you're feeling. Be specific: "I'm disappointed because I really wanted that job but I didn't get it", "I'm upset because I really expected him/her to be there for me but s/he wasn't" or "I'm hurt because I put my all into the business and it still didn't work out!” By being aware of what you're feeling, you can then go ahead and work at turning that around. The first step...
  6. 6. 2 - Attach a more empowering meaning to the situation Two people can go through the exact same event and perceive it completely differently. They will assign completely different meanings to what happened. One person can look at a failed business as evidence that he's just not meant to be a businessman. This now becomes a limiting belief that will stop him from ever launching another business. Someone else will go through the same event and think, "I hate having lost that business, but I've learned some important lessons!" And then she will go through and discover those lessons so that she can launch a better business - that's an empowering perception / meaning.
  7. 7. Whenever you have a painful situation in your life, you can look at it as a punishment or you choose to view it as a lesson for future growth. You can choose to believe that life is "unfair" ...that “life sucks“... Or you can choose to believe that the difficulties in your life are there to serve you...to prepare for something even better. The former is limiting, the latter is empowering. There is no "right" or "wrong" perception - just one that is empowering and one that is not.
  8. 8. 3 – Change your physiology The previous step was about changing what meaning you attach to the situation so that you can take control of your internal communication with yourself. This step is about taking control of your external self - your body - so that you can put yourself into an empowering state. When you're feeling down, it's because your body is "down". Now imagine how you would stand if you were fully confident, if you felt empowered, if you felt resourceful. Imagine a time when you did feel those feelings. • How did you stand? • How did you walk? • How did you move? • How did you use your body? When you have a clear picture of that, imagine yourself stepping back into that state. If you did that correctly, then you will suddenly find yourself in a much more empowering state.
  9. 9. DAY TWO The Perfection of Imperfection 2
  10. 10. PARALYZING PERFECTION I have a need for perfection. It took me two years to write my first book because I wanted it to be perfect. But the "perfection" held me back. I was paralyzed by perfection. I used to record daily YouTube videos, but then one day I woke up and thought "these are not good enough, I need to make them perfect". I stopped recording those videos after that day (but resumed recently after I embraced my imperfect videos). When good is good enough...
  11. 11. I almost didn't write this guide because I wanted it to be perfect - and if it wasn't going to be perfect, then why bother? There's nothing wrong with chasing perfection - except for when you're not really "perfecting" and instead "procrastinating". Perfecting means having something DONE and then improving it. It doesn't mean not starting at all. It's time to be bold and take action: Sing that imperfect song. Write that imperfect book. Create imperfect art ...because remember, done is better than perfectly not done!
  12. 12. DAY THREE Finding Purpose in Pain 3
  13. 13. FINDING PURPOSE IN PAIN THANK GOD I WENT THROUGH THAT PAIN. I was extremely shy when I was in high school. That led to some very painful moments - such as the time when I was the only kid in class not invited to the class party. I lacked confidence. I was socially awkward. I had very few friends. Thank God for that! As corny as it sounds, without that I would never be doing what I'm doing now. All that pain pushed me to want to change my life. It pushed me to study personal development. It pushed me to improve myself. It made me want to be better. On emotional pain...
  14. 14. I now travel the world as a professional speaker. I help others overcome their shyness. I help others speak with confidence. I help them develop mental toughness and resilience. Conquering my pain prepared me for something greater than I could have envisioned myself doing. It may sound like a cliché, but it's true: Without my pain, I would never have been the person I am today. Pain can be an extremely powerful motivator. You just have to listen to it. You have to find a way to use it instead of being a slave to it. Allow your pain to drive you, not depress you...Because it serves a purpose - to make you better, to make you stronger, and to prepare for more in your life.
  15. 15. DAY FOUR Your Internal Rules 4
  16. 16. CHANGE THE RULES We all have internal rules about when to be happy and when to be angry and when to be pissed. Most of our rules are set up so that it's easier to be pissed and upset than it is to be happy. Consciously change your rules to make being happier easier and being pissed more difficult! I've set my rules so that something as simple as reading a book will make me happy, whereas it takes a lot more to tick me off. Your greatness is waiting for you! Make this your best year yet... Make it easy to be happy, hard to be sad
  17. 17. DAY FIVE The Magic of Your R.A.S. 5
  18. 18. THE POWER OF FOCUS FOCUS! There's a part of your brain called the reticular activating system (RAS) that's responsible for filtering in / out information. When you focus on a certain thing (e.g. "I want to start a business"), your RAS begins to filter in information and business opportunities you may not have noticed before. Focus on possibilities
  19. 19. Haven't you noticed how, when you go shopping and buy a certain item of clothing, then you begin to notice everyone else wearing it too? That's your RAS at play! Set your goals and your RAS will begin to guide you towards them. Focus on possibilities rather than limitations, and that's what you'll get (the opposite is also true).
  20. 20. DAY SIX Your Beliefs Make You, And Break You 6
  21. 21. YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM Your beliefs can make or break you! If you believe "The world is a shitty place" or "All the good ones are gone" or "The market just sucks", that's what you'll get. If you believe, "In a tough market, those willing to do what it takes thrive!" or "The world is an a gift", that's what you'll get. This doesn’t mean lying to yourself and calling an unhappy situation a happy one... But it does mean that your belief system should be set in a way that your beliefs empower you during both prosperous as well as tough times. Are your beliefs empowering you or are they limiting you? Governs your outlook
  22. 22. DAY SEVEN Shortcut to Success 7
  23. 23. MODEL SUCCESS Want a shortcut to success? Find someone who has achieved what you want: Study them. Then model their beliefs, their physiology, their work ethic. It's the quickest legitimate shortcut to success I know of. It's a shortcut not in the sense that it's easy, but in the sense that you'll achieve what you want far quicker than you would otherwise. Who can you model? Who can you study? Following the footsteps of success
  25. 25. QUESTIONS Questions are the most powerful tool I have come across for self- coaching. They guide your thinking, your focus, your energy. However, questions also contain presuppositions - that is, assumptions that are built in to be true. For example, when you ask yourself, "Why does my boss / spouse never appreciate me?” the presupposition is that they never appreciate you! Your brain isn't going to challenge that presupposition - and because you've asked it a question, it will be compelled to come up with answers (even though they may not be accurate). When you ask yourself, "Why am I such an idiot?” the presupposition is that you're an idiot - and your brain will come up with reasons to prove it. Once you're aware of the power of presuppositions, you can consciously challenge them and ask more empowering questions that guide your life in the direction you desire. The most powerful tool for guiding your focus
  27. 27. FORMING BELIEFS "Whether you think you can or can't you're right“ ~ Henry Ford Your beliefs determine what you will / won't achieve. But, how are beliefs formed? They're formed when we take a bunch of experiences we've had and generalize them to represent how we think life works. Whether you think you can or you can’t...
  28. 28. FORMING BELIEFS Some of your beliefs are empowering ("I can learn anything I need to learn to achieve anything I want to achieve") whereas others are disempowering ("I'm just not born a great public speaker"). So, how do you prevent forming disempowering beliefs? Simple (but not easy)! Whenever you "fail" or have a "negative experience", DON'T let your brain go into automatic mode and generalize. Whether you think you can or you can’t...
  29. 29. For example, let's say you missed your flight because you were late. Your automatic reaction may be to generalize that you're "disorganized" and "unreliable"! DON'T allow that. Yes, learn from the mistake - but don't allow the mistakes to create labels that form your beliefs. Great entrepreneurs fail multiple times, but do they allow those experiences to form a belief that "nothing ever works out" or "I'm just a failure?" No, they never allow those experiences to become beliefs, and therefore they continue persisting and thus, eventually, succeed. I never allow my negative experiences to pile up to form beliefs. Instead of grouping the negative experiences into a belief, I treat each experience as an isolated version. And I never allow anyone else to create my beliefs for me. If I missed a flight, failed at a business, lost my keys, that does not allow anyone else to label me - and I will fight to protect my beliefs and labels.
  30. 30. Never let anyone else create disempowering beliefs for you - they don't have a right to do so, and neither do you. You choose what experiences become beliefs - so choose beliefs that empower you instead of limit you.
  32. 32. THEY DON’T “HAPPEN” I continuously remind myself that I am responsible for my emotions. We sometimes make the mistake of thinking that of our emotions are things that happen to us. But emotions don't "happen", they're created. . Emotions don’t happen to us, they are created by us
  33. 33. They're not some object or supernatural energy that is placed into us; emotions arise from our thinking, our focus, our physiology. Once you remind yourself of this truth, it takes you from being powerless to being in control of your emotional destiny. I make a choice every day to be happy, no matter what the external circumstances. I don't say that from a theoretical perspective...like most people, I've had my share of ups and downs - but I've always flexed my emotional muscles and trained myself to feel empowered instead of limited.
  34. 34. I've trained myself, every day, bit by bit, to feel happy even when it's easier to be grumpy or angry. Does that mean that it's easy? Absolutely not, and I'm still working at it...I'm working at it because it's a skill that's worth mastering! Keep reminding yourself that you have power over your emotions - you not only control them, you create them! Condition yourself to feel happy. When you want feel frustrated at your coworker, flex your muscle and "try on" a more empowering emotion. When you want nothing more than to feel sorry for yourself, "try on" feeling empowered instead. Yes, I know you don't know how to try on a more empowering emotion...but if you did know, how would you do it? Try it now! Don't think about logically - just "try an emotion" - try feeling happy and BE happy; now try feeling excited - and BE excited. When you act as if you know how, you'll be surprised at what you're capable of! Build your emotional muscle now so that when life decides to test you - and it will - your emotional muscle is strong enough to transform you from victim to victor! .
  36. 36. VULNERABILITY Vulnerability and open communication creates deep, intimate relationships. I've found that open communication is the key to creating deep, meaningful relationships. When I talk about open communication, I am referring to the type that makes you feel uncomfortable because it requires you to reveal your feelings and be vulnerable. The one where you have something nagging at you but you don't want to talk about it because you're scared of revealing your feelings. Instead of saying "I feel hurt" and making yourself vulnerable, you lash out in anger. Instead of saying "I don't feel connected in our relationship and I want to improve it", you ignore it. . ...creates meaningful relationships
  37. 37. But no matter how uncomfortable these vulnerable, emotional conversations may feel...they are the ones that make your relationship deeper and more intimate. What conversation do you need to have tonight with your spouse / friend / significant other?
  39. 39. MEANING What is it that gives your life meaning? What purpose are you chasing? What meaningful goals drive you? I believe that you have a special gift or talent that's meant to be developed and shared with the world. Perhaps it's a gift of art, of music, of business, of teaching - whatever it is, find time for it. Don't get so caught up in making a living that you forget to live out your gifts and talents. What gives your life meaning?
  40. 40. When you work at developing your gifts, and you make it your purpose to share them with the world, it gives your life a sense of meaning and contribution. When you have goals about sharing those talents and gifts, it drives you. It allows you tap into the infinite amount of energy and enthusiasm contained within you! What talents and gifts do you have that you are interested in developing? Find time for them! Develop them! You may not be good yet, but work at it - the better you get, the more passionate you become. And when you become passionate, you'll work at it even more - and soon enough, you'll get good, and then great. Don't get so caught up in making a living that you forget to live...
  41. 41. DAY THIRTEEN Don’t just read this guide, act on it! Find one thing in this guide that resonated with you – and if you haven’t already – commit to taking action on it TODAY. To your greatness! Akash Karia CLICK HERE IF YOU WANT MORE Your One Thing.
  42. 42. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Akash Karia is a peak performance coach who has trained over 80,000 people worldwide, from bankers in Hong Kong to senior executives in Thailand to government members in Dubai. He has twice been ranked the #1 Most Popular Business & Money author on Amazon Kindle and his books have been translated into Italian, Korean and Japanese. His work has been featured on Forbes, CEOTraining & FastCompany. Akash Karia www.AkashKaria.com akash@akashkaria.comCONTACT: akash@akashkaria.com akash.speaker@gmail.com
  43. 43. SUMMARY Day 1: Circle of control Day 2: The perfection of imperfection Day 3: Finding purpose in pain Day 4: Your internal rules Day 5: The magic of your R.A.S Day 6: Your beliefs make you & break you Day 7: Shortcut to success Day 8: The power of questions Day 9: A deeper look at your beliefs Day 10: Taking charge of your emotions Day 11: Open communication Day 12: The power of purpose Day 13: Your one thing www.AkashKaria.com Images via Pixabay
  44. 44. OTHER BOOKS BY Akash Karia www.AkashKaria.com akash@akashkaria.comakash@akashkaria.com akash.speaker@gmail.com Click the covers to buy the book on Amazon