1. [PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT] November 14, 2013
Personality Development
Personality is the sum total of ways in which an individual reacts and interacts with others. Or
Personality is made up of the characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that
make a person unique.
Importance of Personality Development:
Let's not go with the bookish definition of personality development. Let me give you an
example: You must have been to parties, get-togethers etc. Have you noticed that there are
some people who are surrounded by lot of friends all the time and there are others who sit in
the corner of the room having a drink alone? The difference between these two groups is
mainly because of their different characters, thoughts and different personalities.
Personality is a blend of your temperament, emotion, principles and behavior. You start
developing a personality when you are a child. This personality is later molded, based on the
impact of various positive and negative factors in life. However, the significance of this
understanding is that, you can always keep improving your personality. In other words, if you
feel that there are some features in your personality that needs to be worked upon, then it can
be done.
Why is personality development important?
Personality development plays a significant role in three most important aspects of our life:
1) Social Relationships
2) Family Relationships
3) Professional Relationships
Social Relationships
Human being is a social animal. Acceptance from friends and society are very important for an
individual, unless you are strong enough, not to care about others. However, at some point or
the other, you do feel aloof and ignored. An individual with attractive personality has charisma,
with magnetic power, to draw people towards him and make them know what he wants. Who
doesn't feel great when you are recognized and accepted by the society? If you are shy and
timid that shows lack of confidence in your personality.
Family Relationship
The home environment is warm and pleasant when a family member has vibrant and positive
personality, full of fun and happiness. It's the pleasure and laughter that makes the home
atmosphere to live on. The way you interact with your partner or parents or children, speak a
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2. [PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT] November 14, 2013
lot about your character. A weak relationship shows lack of confidence and trust. If your family
relationship is not strong, that shows in your other relationships as well.
Professional Relationship
Meeting deadlines, maintaining good relations with your boss, punctuality are some of the
challenges that an individual has to face in the office. It's not the number of challenges that
matters. What matters is how you cope and balance these challenges to benefit your job. If
you get frustrated on simple matters, you would easily give up. Personality Development plays
such a significant role in organizations today, that you will find Personality Development
Training Courses for all employees, to develop their skills and raise their motivation level. With
right personality and skills, it becomes easier to interact with clients, colleagues and bosses.
And also helps to face the challenge with positive approach.
Approach for Personality Development
First step towards that perfect personality is to be honest to yourself. You need to analyze
yourself and evaluate your existing personality. This will help you understand your
shortcomings. Some important features of personality development are as follows:
 Cleanliness
 Honesty
 Unselfishness
 Courteous
 Respect
 Good Health
 Kindness
 Confidence
 Open Mindedness
It is not easy to train yourself and achieve above features in a day or two. You need to work
hard. Take each quality one at a time and try to practice it in your daily life.
Any personality is first judged by its physical appearance, so cleanliness, your dressing style, the
way you walk, how you groom etc. is very important. 80% of your physical appearance can be
improved just by a good posture. If you walk straight with your head held high, you
automatically develop grace in your movement.
Nobody in this world is perfect. But if you wish to grow in your life, you need to make yourself
shine by polishing your character and behaviour. Remember, only practice can make a man
perfect and help in transforming a personality into the one that can succeed in every aspect of
a life.
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3. [PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT] November 14, 2013
Specific skills to be developed and implemented in higher institutions of learning are:
• Communication skills.
• Thinking and problem solving skills.
• Team spirit.
• Life long learning.
• Entrepreneur skills.
• Ethics, morals and professionalism.
• Leadership skills.
SIXTEEN PRIMARY PERSONALITY TRAITS:
1. Reserved vs. Outgoing
2. Less intelligent vs More intelligent
3. Affected by feeling vs Emotionally stable
4. Submissive vs Dominant
5. Serious vs Happy to Lucky
6. Expedient vs Conscientious
7. Timid vs Venturesome
8. Tough-minded vs Sensitive
9. Trusting vs Suspicious
10. Practical vs Imaginative
11. Forthright vs Shrewd
12. Self-assured vs Apprehensive
13. Conservative vs Experimenting
14. Group dependant vs Self-sufficient
15. Uncontrolled vs Controlled
16. Relaxed vs Tense
TRAITS FOR BUILDING POSITIVE PERSONALITY:
1. Accept Responsibility:
The price of greatness is the responsibility – Winston Churchill
2. Show consideration:
Show consideration, courtesy, politeness and caring.
3. Think Win-Win: Win-Win philosophy is the ultimate way to success in the collaborative and networked world.
One who master that art can achieve greatly.
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4. [PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT] November 14, 2013
4. Choose your words carefully:
The principle is your speaking must be better than silent, rather be silent.
Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. The way the parents speak to their children in
many instances shapes their children’s destiny.
5. Never Criticize, Complain and Condemn: Constructive criticism is a terminology used to conceal one's own
cynicism. After all the limit of constructiveness of constructive criticism vary from person to person. We sometime
misjudge this limit and many times cross the limit which is detrimental.
6. Smile and Be Kind:
Smile is the shortest distance between two people.
7. Put Positive interpretation on other people’s behavior:
We see the world not as it is, but as we are.
So when we are interpreting other people’s behavior negatively we just reflecting our own mentality to this
situation. In contrast when interpret positively, chances that other people may realize its negativity and change or
amend this.
8. Be a Good Listener:
Effective communication is 50% listening, 25% speaking, 15% reading and 10% writing. So when we listen carefully
then 50% communication is done.
9. Be Enthusiastic:
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm
--- Ralph Waldo Emersion
10. Give honest and Sincere Appreciation:
The desire to feel important is one of the greatest craving in most of the human beings and it can be a great
motivator. Honest and sincere appreciation makes one feel important and promote these positive qualities in him.
In contrast giving false and insincere appreciation is flattery or sycophancy which in the long run is harmful to the
recipient.
11. When you make a mistake, accept it and make it easy to amend:
Mistakes are to be learned from. So accept it immediately and make change or amend easy.
12. Discuss but don’t argue:
Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins in the argument, the cost may be more than the worth of
victory. An Ignominious victory is a defeat itself.
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5. [PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT] November 14, 2013
13. Don’t Gossip:
Gossip may lead to slander and defamation of character. People who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do
the gossiping.
14. Turn your promises into commitment:
Commitment leads to enduring relationship through thick and thin. It shows in a person's personality and
relationship.
15. Be grateful but do not expect gratitude:
16. Be dependable and practice loyalty:
An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness.
Ability without dependability is of no worth.
17. Avoid bearing grudges:
Life is too small to bear grudges.
John Kennedy once said “forgive the other person but don’t forget their name.” Means “if one cheated me once
it is his fault, but if cheats me twice then it is my fault.”
18. Practice honesty, Integrity and Sincerity:
Lies may have speed, but the truth has endurance.
Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity have more enduring effect than the opposite.
19. Practice Humility:
Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive.
Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.
20. Be understanding and Caring:
The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And the basis of real communication also understands.
21. Practice courtesy on daily basis:
22. Develop a sense of humor:
Have a sense of humor and you will possess the ability to laugh at yourself. A sense of humor makes a person
likeable and attractive. Some people are humor-impaired.
23. Don’t be sarcastic and put others down:
24. To have a friend be a Friend:
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6. [PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT] November 14, 2013
Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stones of all friendship.
25. Show Empathy:
Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this
question, “how would I feel if someone treated me that way?”
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7. [PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT] November 14, 2013
Enhance your communication
No matter how well-qualified you are, you always remain one step
ahead of others if you have an excellent communication skill.
Personality development is the amalgamation of various skills like
social, personal, communication, positive attitude etc. but in
today's competitive world, communication skill tops them all.
Communication in personality development is not just effective
speaking but its effective listening as well. The communication
process is complete when the message sent is received,
understood and responded well by the recipient.
Today most of the organizations are customer centric and with the world becoming smal ler and
smaller, clients or customers are not just national but international as well. We may have to
interact with our clients on daily basis. If our communication skill is not up to the mark, we may
be at a disadvantage and things may not work as we expect. Bad communication skill may also
lose you clients.
It is said that "Rome was not built in a day", similarly communication cannot be learnt in a
single day. This skill is learnt and evolved gradually.
Today, I am concentrating on how communication skill is necessary in business or corporate
world.
Here are some tips that might be helpful to brush your communication skills:
Be clear on your speech:
Be clear on what you are talking. Be very sure that you understand what you speak before the
client does. Use simple and clear words. Maintain a steady pace.
Think before you speak:
Frame the sentence in your mind before you talk. I know it will be difficult in the beginning but
you will master this technique gradually. This technique will help you avoid unnecessary words
in the conversation like "aaa", "umm" etc. If you are preparing for a meeting with a client, think
all that you are going to talk with him in the meeting. A mock meeting with your friend will help
you gain confidence.
Make sure your pronunciation is clear:
It is very important that the words are pronounced clearly. You may not find it problematic
when in conversation with an Indian clients but with international clients, you need to be very
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8. [PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT] November 14, 2013
clear and concise. Do not try to put accent. This will make you sound fake. Have a neutral
accent. Neutral accent is universally accepted.
Be positive:
Your sentences should sound very positive. End your meeting or talk on a positive note. When
you talk positive, your overall personality looks optimistic and constructive.
Think from client's point of view:
Every time you talk, make sure that client understands you well. Just think from his point of
view. What if you were in his place, would you agree to the suggestion? The talks should be
beneficial to you and the client. Put yourself in your client's shoe. Show empathy.
Maintain good posture and eye contact:
A good communicator has a good posture and eye contact. That shows confidence in you.
Maintain eye contact while talking to your client. When addressing to a group of people, glance
every person alternatively.
Maintain your pace:
Your speech should not be too fast or too slow. Talking too fast is the sign of nervousness and
client may doubt your caliber. At the same time, talking too slow may bore your client. Hence,
it's important that you maintain a moderate pace. Reading newspaper can help you understand
your pace.
Listen:
Communication is not just active talking but active listening as well. While you make sure that
you talk well, you should also learn the ability to listen well. Keep an open mind and listen for
customer feedback or suggestion.
Maintain your volume:
Your volume should be neither too high nor too low. Your talk should not sound like a noise.
There should be softness and positivity in your sound. When the group is small, speak softly and
be louder when the group is large. Do not shout.
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