1. U&I MENTORING PROGRAM
MENTOR TRAINING
Developed by Mofei Xu
Highland Street Corps-Ambassador of Mentoring
AmeriCorps Volunteer 2011-2012

2. THANK YOU FOR VOLUNTEERING!
PLEASE HAVE SOME REFRESHMENTS

3. WARM UP
“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a
push in the right direction. ”
–John Crawford Crosby (1859-1943)

4. OVERVIEW OF PROGRAM
Goals:
Help participants adjust to life in America.
Help participants improve socially and academically
through one on one time with mentor and homework help.
Develop meaningful relationships with mentors.
Objectives:
Six hours of one-on-one mentor time per month
45 minutes of nonverbal activities per week
One field trip per month
One parent orientation at the beginning of the program
One end of the year celebration

5. CURRICULUM
Time Activity
2:45 Bilingual conversation period (will ease in English)
3:00 Homework help/tutoring (stress practicing English)
3:30 Fun/nonverbal activities to foster teamwork,
confidence and self-esteem.

6. WHY MENTOR?
• National research conducted on BBBS by Public/Private
Ventures (1999;2001) demonstrates that at-risk children in
mentoring relationships were:
• 52% less likely to skip school
• 46% less likely to start using illegal drugs
• 26% less likely to start drinking
• 33% less likely to use violence
• MA youth in mentoring programs receiving state funding have
shown the following improvements:
• 85% showed an increase in self confidence
• 77% showed an increase in self expression
• 56% showed an improved attitude towards school

7. CREATE YOUR PERFECT MENTOR
• Create a visual that reflects what your idea of a
perfect mentor should be like.
• For example:
• A happy mentor with a happy mentee
• A picture outline of a mentor with words inside.

8. A MENTOR IS…
• Committed
• Respectful
• Actively engaged
• Empathetic
• Resourceful
• Patient
• Persistent and consistent
• Flexible and open
• Open-minded
• Value driven

9. A MENTOR IS NOT…
• A parent/legal guardian
• Social worker
• A psychologist
• An ATM

10. PRIMARY TASKS OF A MENTOR
• Establish a positive, personal relationship with mentee
• Establish mutual trust and respect
• Maintain regular interaction
• Provide consistent support
• Make your meetings enjoyable and fun
• Help mentee with development of life skills
• Work with your mentee to accomplish goals
• Provide framework for developing broader life-management skills
• Help mentee access resources
• Provide awareness of community and educational resources
• Act as a resource “broker” not a resource “provider”
• Increase mentee‟s ability to interact with diverse people
• Respect and explore differences among people and groups from various
backgrounds
• Provide an introduction to different environments

11. SCENARIO
You are paired with a mentee – Johnny – less than a
month ago. You have met with Johnny for three
weeks in a row. He has told you many times that he
hates school and wishes he didn‟t have to go. For
three weeks you have tried to get Johnny to sit down
with you to do homework. As soon as you get out the
homework, he gets out of his seat to talk to his friends
or plays with his phone and ignores you. You feel
frustrated because you can‟t get your mentee to
focus. You are constantly having to fight for his
attention and last week Johnny angrily reminded you
that you are not his teacher and can‟t make him do
homework. You left last week‟s session feeling hurt.
What should you do?

12. BREAK!
10 MINUTES!

13. WHAT’S YOUR STYLE?
• Note the car pictures posted around the room. Go
to the car that best represents your style.
• Discuss with the “car” group why you selected this
car and what it represents about your style.
• Discuss how can you use your style to be a great
mentor?
• Select one person from the group to report back.

14. STAGES OF RELATIONSHIP
• Stage 1: Getting to know each other
• Be predictable and consistent
• Anticipate testing
• Establish confidentiality
• Defining ground rules
• Stage 2: Deepening the relationship
• Getting closer
• Affirm the uniqueness of the relationship
• Deal with ups and downs
• Seek support from staff
• Stage 3: Time to say goodbye

15. BOUNDARIES & POLICIES
• Types of Boundaries:
• Physical
• Don‟t allow inappropriate behaviors to be initiated by the mentee – set
ground rules (refer to Unacceptable Behavior Policy)
• Don‟t be alone with the mentee under any circumstances
• Emotional
• Don‟t attempt to replace or become the mentee‟s family
• Don‟t try to „fix‟ the mentee – you are not his/her psychologist
• Social
• Don‟t initiate/respond to contact outside of program space and time
• I.e. do not friend your mentee on Facebook
• Don‟t attend social gatherings even if mentee or mentee‟s family invites you
– blame the program policy
• Program policies
• Confidentiality
• Transportation
• Overnight Stays
• Unacceptable Behavior

16. SCENARIO
You are paired with a mentee – Lee – less than a
month ago. You have met with Lee for three weeks in
a row. You are getting along really well and Lee
always tells you he enjoys spending time with you.
Recently he told you it is his birthday soon and invited
you to his party. You have told him that you can‟t but
his mother saw you in the supermarket and asked
that you would please come. You really like Lee and
don‟t want to hurt his feelings. Last week, Lee
threatened to stop coming to meetings if you do not
go to his party. What should you do?

17. BREAK!
10 MINUTES!

18. OOMPA LOOMPA GAME
Please split up into two groups and wait for
instructions.

19. COMMUNICATION SKILLS
• Active listening
• Eye contact
• Body language – open and relaxed, forward lean, positive gestures
• Verbal cues – um-humm, sure, ah, yes etc.
• Paraphrasing
• Decipher fact: “So you are saying….”, “You believe that…”, “The
problem is…”
• Decipher feeling: “You feel that…”, “Your reaction is…”, “And that
made you feel…”
• „I‟ messages
• DO: Avoid judgments, help keep communication open, respect for
both people
• DON‟T: accuse, point a finger at the other person, place blame
• Open ended questions
• “Can you give me an example?”, “What part did you play?”

20. ROADBLOCKS
• Ordering, directing, commanding
• Moralizing, preaching – should‟s and ought‟s
• Teaching, lecturing, giving logical arguments
• Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming
• Withdrawing, distracting, using sarcasm, humoring,
diverting
• Disregarding communication styles or needs

21. SCENARIO
You are paired with a mentee – Michelle – less than a
month ago. You have met with Michelle for three
weeks in a row. Michelle is very quiet. You have tried
for the last three weeks to encourage her to talk by
asking her about school, friends and family. Every
attempt you make at conversation is quickly squashed
by Michelle‟s difficulty to overcome her shyness. You
are starting to get very frustrated by the situation and
doubt whether Michelle is even interested in having a
mentor. What should you do?

22. POINTS TO REMEMBER
• Show up on time; don‟t leave early
• Shut off your devices
• Praise – even the little things
• Listen and be attentive
• HAVE FUN!!!!!
• Seek support if you are struggling
• You ARE making a positive difference in the life of a
young person
• CHECK/RESPOND TO EMAILS!

23. Q&A
ALWAYS ASK WHEN YOU DON‟T KNOW

24. THANK YOU!