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F   R    I   E   N    D   S      F   I   R    S   T                                                    Winter 2012




SPOTLIGHT ON…                                                  to play pool, darts, and how to use fitness equipment. In
                                                               return, Daniel has taught Jim about sports, including how
           Daniel & Jim                                        to be a good soccer player.
                                 Jim J. and Daniel B. have
                                                               The mentoring relationship has also been a positive
                                 now been matched for two
                                                               experience for Daniel because he has learned a lot about
                                 years. During this time,
                                                               life in general. This is why he said he would recommend
                                 Jim and Daniel have been
                                                               the program to anyone. “Friends First mentors are
                                 able to establish a strong
                                                               someone to have fun with, talk to, and learn from.”
                                 friendship as they share
                                 their interests with one      One of the other things Daniel has learned from Jim is
                                 another. One interest they    the importance of being respectful and caring with
                                 have in common is their       others. Daniel has realized that having respect for others
                                 excitement for staying        is important because it allows you to get along well with
                                 active. Daniel really looks   others. He also stated that the majority of conflicts
                                 forward to his outings with   happen because someone says something disrespectful
                                 Jim especially when they      and then the other person says something hurtful in
                                 visit a fitness center in     return.
Northbrook. Both Jim and Daniel get an opportunity to
stay active but they also talk about their week.               Daniel believes that respect and trust go hand in hand.
                                                               “If you don’t trust a person it can be hard to show
Even though visiting the fitness center is a lot of fun,       respect. Or if someone doesn’t show you respect it is
Daniel truly enjoys all the outings he and Jim have done.      hard to trust him or her.” Daniel also strongly believes
Daniel describes his match with Jim as,             “really    that respect isn’t given freely. “If you want others to
interesting and fun.” They have visited different places       respect you, you have to respect others in return”.
throughout the city, attended several Friends First events,
watched a few documentaries, and attended at least one         Both Jim and Daniel attended the Friends First camping
game of each of the Chicago sports team. This made it          trip this past summer. Daniel stated that this outing
difficult for Daniel to pick a favorite outing but after       stands out as a learning experience. He stated that getting
narrowing it down to the top three, Daniel was able to         away from the city was nice but what he appreciated
state that his favorite outing was going to the Chicago        most was getting to bond more with Jim and other
Bears’ home opener. It was a lot of fun not only to see the    matches. Daniel said that he learned a lot from the team
players up close but also to see them win on their home        building activities and had a lot of fun playing the Trust
field!                                                         Fall game with others.

When asking Daniel about his match, Daniel spoke of Jim        It was during this outing that Daniel felt
with high regard. He stated that over the past two years,      a stronger connection to his mentor and
Jim has been a great friend and has helped him a lot.          developed a deeper appreciation for
Daniel stated that Jim has given him a lot of support and      respect and trust. Since the camping
advice on school. He also appreciates that Jim has been a      trip, both Jim and Daniel continue to
good listener and is nonjudgmental when Daniel is feeling      enhance their sense of trust and respect
upset and needs someone to talk with.                          and continue to strive to build more
                                                               assets.                     ~   Yaresi
Participating in Friends First has been a positive
experience for both Daniel and Jim because they have            Friends First is a program of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls
learned a lot from one another. Jim has taught Daniel how                        www.mercyhome.org
Thoughts on respect…                                            Welcome New Matches!
Remember to give thanks to those who bring joy to your life.                 We are pleased to welcome these new
Enjoy the unique talents that each person expresses.                        matches and wish them all the best as they
                                                                                 start an exciting year together:

See the beauty within the people you meet each day.                         Elvira G. & Makayla H……...9/13
Plant positive thoughts in the hearts of others.                           Paul T. & Joel V……….……..9/19
                                                                           Gwen F. & Yuliza R………….9/29
Engage life to the fullest extent of your abilities.                       Dan R. & Damani W………..10/29
                                                                           Russ C. & Jordan W………..10/29
Care about those less fortunate.                                           Jessica L. Marleni H………...10/29
                                                                           John B. & Jayquan M….…...11/14
Take the time to tell someone you care.                                    Alice C. & Sahara B………...11/19
                                                                           Katie B. & Noro J…………...11/19
                                                                           David C. & Edgar S….……...11/22
~ Diane Venzera
                                                                            Sonja T. & Nayeli S………...11/22




                                        Duty, Honor, Country, Respect...
                                        Junior was matched with Ken in the Friends First program over ten
                                        years ago. At the time, Junior’s family was having a difficult time
                                        making ends meet and Ken was newly married and trying to build a
                                        life and start a new family. They started the match doing what most
                                        mentors do with their mentees in the Friends First Program. They
                                        loved to play sports, visit the shore, take trips to the museums, and
                                        just hang out and share stories.

                                        As the match matured, Ken spent more time encouraging Junior to do
                                        his best in school and encouraged him to avoid the troubles lurking in
                                        the neighborhood. Like most teenagers, Junior had his own ideas and
                                        sometimes would test Ken. Ken always displayed a consistency that
                                        made Junior feel more at ease. In many subtle ways, he encouraged
                                        Junior to always maintain a level of respect for others. He taught him
                                        to be polite and shared his experiences of his life with his family and
                                        work.

                                       Junior had to move several times over the life of the match
relationship. Even though the distance was sometimes great, Ken went out of his way to visit Junior on a
regular basis. They began to build a level of respect for one another, and even though Junior went through
some difficult moments in school and at home, they never wavered in their ability to stay in contact.

Junior is now in Afghanistan, serving our country in the United States Army. Guess what? Ken continues to
keep in contact with Junior. He is not able to meet on the weekends and now has to concentrate on the two
small children he is raising with his wife. But the bonds that they built during the match have not diminished.
A West Point cadet is given the motto that there are three virtues a soldier must maintain. They must believe
in and live by the virtues of duty, honor, and country. Ken and Junior believe that there is one more virtue that
they both learned during their match: they both have a great deal of respect for one another.
                                                                                               ~ Br. Paul McDonough
Remembering as an Act of Respect:
       Remembering the Dream of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
                              Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a deep understanding of respect. He wanted people to respect
                              one another regardless of the color of their skin or how much money they have. King also
                              hoped that we would learn to respect one another by practicing nonviolence, opposing war
                              and granting safe working conditions for everyone.
                              Dr. King is remembered on the third Monday of each January, near his birthday, for his
                              leadership in bringing attention to inequalities existing in the United States. Martin Luther
                              King Jr. Day, signed into law in 1983, was the first national holiday created to honor a black
                              man.
                            King set an example of peaceful struggle, faith and courage that helped fuel and inspire many
                            people working for equality during the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s. The 14th
Amendment gave black people citizenship and the 15th Amendment gave them the right to vote. After a history of slav-
ery which existed before the founding of our country, these changes did not automatically grant equality to black citizens.
Fear fueled people’s prejudice and laws were passed to keep black and white people apart. “Separate but equal” schools,
pools, bathrooms, water fountains and community centers kept our country segregated.
Even though black and white people were both citizens under the law, their paths at home, work and in their neighbor-
hoods rarely crossed. Additionally, these “separate but equal” places turned out to not be equal at all. Because of this,
the Supreme Court ruled in 1954 that blacks and whites could go to the same schools, saying that "separate but equal"
schools were unequal. Many people at the time disagreed and did not want to change.
Some people, however, did want things to change. Their desire for change turned into actions, marches and protests
against inequality. People, black and white, spoke up in small and large ways during the Civil Rights movement. Some
were arrested for their beliefs; others refused to let other people tell them where they could send their children for school
or who they could have as friends. Some, like King, were even killed for speaking up and taking action.
We can remember Dr. King by learning about his life and his dream for equality. We can also remember him each day in
the actions we take to promote equality and justice in our own lives at home, school and in our neighborhoods. Dr. King
was a strong voice among many in history who have spoken against inequality and oppression. We can add our own
voices, dreams and courage to continuing his work. By doing so, we show respect for others and ourselves and honor the
legacy of those, like Dr. King, who have made sacrifices for equality. By taking action, we become part of the solution
and part of the Dream.                                                                           ~Amanda Sneed


               Ideas for Remembering and Celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King Day
    Educate yourself on the life and work of Dr. King by browsing resources on The King Center website: http:/
     www.thekingcenter.org
    Participate in a volunteer project with the MLK Day of Service on January 16 th. Go to http://mlkday.gov/ to learn about service
     project opportunities. For specific Chicago Day of Service events, visit: http://www.chicagocares.org/CCI_special_events
    Join the Community Renewal Society’s MLK Day Faith in Action Assembly on Jan. 16 th at Kingdom
     Baptist Church, 301 North Center Ave. from 9:30-12 for a prayer service honoring Dr. King’s legacy. You
     will also have the opportunity to meet with decision makers about issues in education, affordable housing
     and jobs for ex-offenders. For more information, visit: www.communityrenewalsociety.org.
    Listen to or read one of King’s speeches or letters with your mentor. Start with King’s “I Have a Dream”
     speech (http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm) or “Letter from a Birmingham
     Jail (http://www.thekingcenter.org/history/sermons-speeches/). Discuss your reactions to his words together.
    Reflect with your mentor or family on how life was for black citizens when they were growing up. Ask
     adults you know who were alive at different times during the last century. Has anything changed since
     then? Is there anything that has not changed?
    With your mentor, write your own “I Have a Dream” speech about each of your dreams for the world. Share your speeches with
     one another when you are finished.
    Learn more about MLK Day events happening in Chicago: http://research.blackyouthproject.com/byp-presents/remembering-
     martin-luther-king-jr/
    Create your own service project to honor Dr. King. Talk with you mentor and MSR for ideas.                    ~Amanda Sneed
Happy Anniversary!
January                                  February                                 March
Susan K. & Anika R…….1/08                Rebecca R. & Shirley W...2/15            Kyle S. & Christian G…..3/04
Leticia H. & Jada K……..1/09              Pat P. & Ashley D……….2/22                Anthony W. & TyJuan S..3/16
Kim J. & Joshua D……...1/10               Tom E. & Jacob B…….....2/23              David S. & Rico C……….3/27
Matt H. & Armon P……..1/21
Kayla M. & Alicia Z….....1/27
John D. & Curtis H……...1/31



  “When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments;
  tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become.”
                                                   ~ Louis Pasteur

Ways to Build Respect                         By Dr. Michele Borba
There are many ways people show respect to others, and the more aware that students are of what those actions look and
sound like, the more likely they are to incorporate those behaviors in their daily lives.
 Look up the definition of respect. Write it down. Now describe ways you have acted
   respectfully or disrespectfully this week.
 Make a list of people you think are respectful and why you added them to your list.
 Work alone or with a partner to create a song, a rap, or a chant about respect. Your words
   should tell why respect is important and how it could make the world a better place.
 List five ways we could show greater respect for our environment.
 What would you do if an adult was disrespectful to you? Suppose the grown-up yelled at
   you for something you didn’t do. What do you say? What do you do? Describe your answer in 50 words.
 Design a bumper sticker about respect. Include on the bumper sticker: the word Respect, a motor or slogan for why
   you should use it and at least three words that describe it.
 Suppose you’re invited to your friend’s home for a family dinner. What are some ways you could show respect and
   courtesy when your first arrive? At their table? When you leave? Write at least 50 words.
 Cut a long strip of butcher paper 3 x 36” (or use adding machine tape). Roll each of the ends around a pencil and
   tape the ends to the pencil. Use crayons, colored pencils or ink pens to draw a scene of what respect looks and
   sounds like in action.
 Make a campaign poster about respect. Make sure you include the word “Respect” and two reasons why someone
   would want to vote for having respect at your school. You could use construction paper, felt pens, crayons,
   magazine cut-outs and templates.
 Look up the word “respect” in a dictionary. Find at least 10 different words that mean almost the same thing as
   “respectful.” These words are called synonyms. Write each synonym on a paper strip. Link your paper strips
   together to make a chain and staple the ends of each link.
 Use glue to write on bright-colored paper a few statements that respectful people would say to put a smile on
   someone else’s face. Now carefully sprinkle the letters with glitter. You’ve made Sparkle Statements!
 Read about John Muir. How did he show respect to the environment?
 Cut out a newspaper or magazine article about a person who showed respect. What did they do to demonstrate
   respect?
 Write a commercial about respect. Try to sell respect so others will want to start using it. For instance, say
   something positive that might happen in the world if more people showed respect to one another.
 Create a recipe for respect. What ingredients do you need?
                                                                          http://www.micheleborba.com/Pages/BMI05.htm
decorating, musical chairs, Wii and a “photo booth.”
Friends First Updates                                          Matches made holiday cards for themselves and to send
                                                               to the residents of Deborah’s Place women’s shelter.
Respect
Respect does not fall into just one asset category in The
Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets. Likely, you        Friends First News
could argue that it falls into all of them. What makes         Mercy Home for Boys and Girls will celebrate 125
respect unique from all of other things that we strive to
                                                               years of helping Chicago area youth in 2012. Friends
instill in our youth, is that respect is both Internal and
External as opposed to one or the other. Self respect and      First will celebrate its 25th anniversary! To celebrate
respect for others will lead youth to develop both their       these exciting milestones, Friends First is launching a
personal and social character.                                 challenge to all of our matches. Our current match
                                                               commitment is for mentors and mentees to meet 8
Friends First Fun!                                             hours each month, totaling 96 hours per year. Our
On Saturday, August 27th, nearly 100 mentors, mentees          challenge: To see how many matches can meet 125
and their families and volunteers attended the Friends First   hours this year, which is just over 10 hours each
annual picnic. A wonderful mix of matches—both new             month…details to follow.
and veteran—enjoyed activities including corn hole, a
water balloon toss, face painting, bozo buckets and a          Friends First Tidbits
fierce three-legged race. Grilled burgers and hot dogs
                                                               “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me.”
were served for all to enjoy. School supplies, courtesy of
Centro, were distributed to all of our mentees as well as      Aretha Franklin
their siblings.                                                Have a conversation with one another about how you
                                                               define respect and how you practice self-respect and
Friends First Coordinator, Yaresi Lopez, ran this year’s       respect for others. Talk about a time you felt
Chicago Marathon. Yaresi participated as part of Mercy         disrespected and how you handled the situation.
Home’s Chicago Heroes Team and raised over $1,100 for                                                    ~ Mary Quinn
Mercy. You can be a Hero too! Consider running the
2012 marathon as a member of Mercy Home’s team. For
more information visit http://www.mercyhome.org/                            Happy Birthday!!
marathon.

The Friends First Halloween party hosted nearly 20                       January
matches this year. Mentors and youth who attended                        Dantrell W...………..……1/01
enjoyed pumpkin carving, a costume party, pizza and                      Najee N…………….…….1/07
other treats. They then headed the Chicago Park District’s               Armon P………………….1/09
Trails of Terror at Theatre on the Lake for a spooky good                Willie C…………………..1/10
time.                                                                    KelishaW…………..….....1/24
Mercy Home’s annual Women’s Retreat took place on                        February
October 29-20. Friends First staff member Diane Venzera                  Corey W………….………2/06
facilitated the programming around the topic of
“Wholeness.” The theme allowed for women who play a                      Kaylin N………………….2/14
role in the lives of our Friends First, residential and                  Alicia Z……………….......2/22
AfterCare youth to explore the topic through self-                       Breanna K…….………….2/23
reflection, testimonials and group activities.                           Natiaxi C…………………2/29
Friends First Director, Katie Smith, recently joined                     March
Mercy’s Communications Director, and former Friends                      Makayla B………...……..3/03
First mentor and Junior Board Member, Mick O’Grady, as                   Jordan M…..…………….3/04
guests on the Catholic Community of Faith show on 950
                                                                         Aimiose I…………..……..3/08
AM Relevant Radio. Katie and Mick talked about Friends
First and Mick’s experience as a mentor and tried to                     Sarah B………….…...…...3/09
recruit more mentors to take part in                                     Yvonne S……….….…......3/21
Friends First.                                                           Lesly E………..…………..3/22
                                                                         Marleni H………….……..3/22
The Friends first Holiday Party occurred
on Saturday, December 10th. Nearly half
of our matches attended—including our                             We love your match stories so please keep
newest match and our longest standing
match! The group enjoyed cupcake                                           sharing them with us!
Non-Profit Org.
F   R I E N D S                           F I   R S T                                                                U.S POSTAGE
                                                                                                                         PAID
            1140 W. Jackson Boulevard                                                                                  Chicago, IL
            Chicago, IL 60607-2906                                                                                   Permit No. 1513



            Address Service Requested




                 Things that Make You Go “Hmmm”
There is a volcano within all of us that can erupt when things do not go our way. What should we do with these feelings: bite
our tongue, roll our eyes, speak our mind even if you hurt people’s feelings, or get into a physical altercation? The answer is
difficult to figure out sometimes given that there is no special book to read, or a song that can give us magic powers to be stress
free all the time. We have a right to be upset. But we also have a conscience that allows us to decide where the conversation/
conflict will take us. In our mind, we have to weigh the good versus the bad, the interrupting versus the listening, and the
assumptions versus the clarification.
These decisions do not come by special invitation; they are choices that we have to make. Everyone has a sense of right and
wrong and we also have tools that prevent us from crossing lines that disrespect others. One way to build a healthy persona is to
try to understand other peoples’ points of view. Think how boring life would be if everyone liked the same thing or thought the
same way. Understanding is building your own puzzle of the world, not by how you think it is, but how you discover things to be.
Think of this example. Let’s say Sam begins to come across as rude since every time we have a conversation, he is constantly
distracted by his cell phone. How would I know if he is expecting an important phone call? As a caring friend, I have to test our
friendship by politely asking, “Am I interrupting an important discussion? Should we meet later, or should I give you a few
minutes to take care of your important matter?” On the other hand, Sam has to be aware of the importance of the conversation.
How is Sam going to know if I am discussing something really sensitive or important to me if his full attention is on his phone,
rather than on listening to our conversation? When anyone is about to disrespect another human being, remember to test the
water of friendship before jumping. This self-test can lead to a healthy, special relationship that is full of mutual RESPECT.
                                                                                                                ~ Alberto Paguada
              F R I E N D S   F I R S T
                                                              A newsletter dedicated to building and supporting
                                                              the Friends First community of Mercy Home for
                                                              Boys & Girls. For more information, please call
                                                              (312) 738-7552 or visit www.mercyhome.org.

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Friends First Match Newsletter Early Winter 2012

  • 1. F R I E N D S F I R S T Winter 2012 SPOTLIGHT ON… to play pool, darts, and how to use fitness equipment. In return, Daniel has taught Jim about sports, including how Daniel & Jim to be a good soccer player. Jim J. and Daniel B. have The mentoring relationship has also been a positive now been matched for two experience for Daniel because he has learned a lot about years. During this time, life in general. This is why he said he would recommend Jim and Daniel have been the program to anyone. “Friends First mentors are able to establish a strong someone to have fun with, talk to, and learn from.” friendship as they share their interests with one One of the other things Daniel has learned from Jim is another. One interest they the importance of being respectful and caring with have in common is their others. Daniel has realized that having respect for others excitement for staying is important because it allows you to get along well with active. Daniel really looks others. He also stated that the majority of conflicts forward to his outings with happen because someone says something disrespectful Jim especially when they and then the other person says something hurtful in visit a fitness center in return. Northbrook. Both Jim and Daniel get an opportunity to stay active but they also talk about their week. Daniel believes that respect and trust go hand in hand. “If you don’t trust a person it can be hard to show Even though visiting the fitness center is a lot of fun, respect. Or if someone doesn’t show you respect it is Daniel truly enjoys all the outings he and Jim have done. hard to trust him or her.” Daniel also strongly believes Daniel describes his match with Jim as, “really that respect isn’t given freely. “If you want others to interesting and fun.” They have visited different places respect you, you have to respect others in return”. throughout the city, attended several Friends First events, watched a few documentaries, and attended at least one Both Jim and Daniel attended the Friends First camping game of each of the Chicago sports team. This made it trip this past summer. Daniel stated that this outing difficult for Daniel to pick a favorite outing but after stands out as a learning experience. He stated that getting narrowing it down to the top three, Daniel was able to away from the city was nice but what he appreciated state that his favorite outing was going to the Chicago most was getting to bond more with Jim and other Bears’ home opener. It was a lot of fun not only to see the matches. Daniel said that he learned a lot from the team players up close but also to see them win on their home building activities and had a lot of fun playing the Trust field! Fall game with others. When asking Daniel about his match, Daniel spoke of Jim It was during this outing that Daniel felt with high regard. He stated that over the past two years, a stronger connection to his mentor and Jim has been a great friend and has helped him a lot. developed a deeper appreciation for Daniel stated that Jim has given him a lot of support and respect and trust. Since the camping advice on school. He also appreciates that Jim has been a trip, both Jim and Daniel continue to good listener and is nonjudgmental when Daniel is feeling enhance their sense of trust and respect upset and needs someone to talk with. and continue to strive to build more assets. ~ Yaresi Participating in Friends First has been a positive experience for both Daniel and Jim because they have Friends First is a program of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls learned a lot from one another. Jim has taught Daniel how www.mercyhome.org
  • 2. Thoughts on respect… Welcome New Matches! Remember to give thanks to those who bring joy to your life. We are pleased to welcome these new Enjoy the unique talents that each person expresses. matches and wish them all the best as they start an exciting year together: See the beauty within the people you meet each day. Elvira G. & Makayla H……...9/13 Plant positive thoughts in the hearts of others. Paul T. & Joel V……….……..9/19 Gwen F. & Yuliza R………….9/29 Engage life to the fullest extent of your abilities. Dan R. & Damani W………..10/29 Russ C. & Jordan W………..10/29 Care about those less fortunate. Jessica L. Marleni H………...10/29 John B. & Jayquan M….…...11/14 Take the time to tell someone you care. Alice C. & Sahara B………...11/19 Katie B. & Noro J…………...11/19 David C. & Edgar S….……...11/22 ~ Diane Venzera Sonja T. & Nayeli S………...11/22 Duty, Honor, Country, Respect... Junior was matched with Ken in the Friends First program over ten years ago. At the time, Junior’s family was having a difficult time making ends meet and Ken was newly married and trying to build a life and start a new family. They started the match doing what most mentors do with their mentees in the Friends First Program. They loved to play sports, visit the shore, take trips to the museums, and just hang out and share stories. As the match matured, Ken spent more time encouraging Junior to do his best in school and encouraged him to avoid the troubles lurking in the neighborhood. Like most teenagers, Junior had his own ideas and sometimes would test Ken. Ken always displayed a consistency that made Junior feel more at ease. In many subtle ways, he encouraged Junior to always maintain a level of respect for others. He taught him to be polite and shared his experiences of his life with his family and work. Junior had to move several times over the life of the match relationship. Even though the distance was sometimes great, Ken went out of his way to visit Junior on a regular basis. They began to build a level of respect for one another, and even though Junior went through some difficult moments in school and at home, they never wavered in their ability to stay in contact. Junior is now in Afghanistan, serving our country in the United States Army. Guess what? Ken continues to keep in contact with Junior. He is not able to meet on the weekends and now has to concentrate on the two small children he is raising with his wife. But the bonds that they built during the match have not diminished. A West Point cadet is given the motto that there are three virtues a soldier must maintain. They must believe in and live by the virtues of duty, honor, and country. Ken and Junior believe that there is one more virtue that they both learned during their match: they both have a great deal of respect for one another. ~ Br. Paul McDonough
  • 3. Remembering as an Act of Respect: Remembering the Dream of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a deep understanding of respect. He wanted people to respect one another regardless of the color of their skin or how much money they have. King also hoped that we would learn to respect one another by practicing nonviolence, opposing war and granting safe working conditions for everyone. Dr. King is remembered on the third Monday of each January, near his birthday, for his leadership in bringing attention to inequalities existing in the United States. Martin Luther King Jr. Day, signed into law in 1983, was the first national holiday created to honor a black man. King set an example of peaceful struggle, faith and courage that helped fuel and inspire many people working for equality during the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s. The 14th Amendment gave black people citizenship and the 15th Amendment gave them the right to vote. After a history of slav- ery which existed before the founding of our country, these changes did not automatically grant equality to black citizens. Fear fueled people’s prejudice and laws were passed to keep black and white people apart. “Separate but equal” schools, pools, bathrooms, water fountains and community centers kept our country segregated. Even though black and white people were both citizens under the law, their paths at home, work and in their neighbor- hoods rarely crossed. Additionally, these “separate but equal” places turned out to not be equal at all. Because of this, the Supreme Court ruled in 1954 that blacks and whites could go to the same schools, saying that "separate but equal" schools were unequal. Many people at the time disagreed and did not want to change. Some people, however, did want things to change. Their desire for change turned into actions, marches and protests against inequality. People, black and white, spoke up in small and large ways during the Civil Rights movement. Some were arrested for their beliefs; others refused to let other people tell them where they could send their children for school or who they could have as friends. Some, like King, were even killed for speaking up and taking action. We can remember Dr. King by learning about his life and his dream for equality. We can also remember him each day in the actions we take to promote equality and justice in our own lives at home, school and in our neighborhoods. Dr. King was a strong voice among many in history who have spoken against inequality and oppression. We can add our own voices, dreams and courage to continuing his work. By doing so, we show respect for others and ourselves and honor the legacy of those, like Dr. King, who have made sacrifices for equality. By taking action, we become part of the solution and part of the Dream. ~Amanda Sneed Ideas for Remembering and Celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King Day  Educate yourself on the life and work of Dr. King by browsing resources on The King Center website: http:/ www.thekingcenter.org  Participate in a volunteer project with the MLK Day of Service on January 16 th. Go to http://mlkday.gov/ to learn about service project opportunities. For specific Chicago Day of Service events, visit: http://www.chicagocares.org/CCI_special_events  Join the Community Renewal Society’s MLK Day Faith in Action Assembly on Jan. 16 th at Kingdom Baptist Church, 301 North Center Ave. from 9:30-12 for a prayer service honoring Dr. King’s legacy. You will also have the opportunity to meet with decision makers about issues in education, affordable housing and jobs for ex-offenders. For more information, visit: www.communityrenewalsociety.org.  Listen to or read one of King’s speeches or letters with your mentor. Start with King’s “I Have a Dream” speech (http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm) or “Letter from a Birmingham Jail (http://www.thekingcenter.org/history/sermons-speeches/). Discuss your reactions to his words together.  Reflect with your mentor or family on how life was for black citizens when they were growing up. Ask adults you know who were alive at different times during the last century. Has anything changed since then? Is there anything that has not changed?  With your mentor, write your own “I Have a Dream” speech about each of your dreams for the world. Share your speeches with one another when you are finished.  Learn more about MLK Day events happening in Chicago: http://research.blackyouthproject.com/byp-presents/remembering- martin-luther-king-jr/  Create your own service project to honor Dr. King. Talk with you mentor and MSR for ideas. ~Amanda Sneed
  • 4. Happy Anniversary! January February March Susan K. & Anika R…….1/08 Rebecca R. & Shirley W...2/15 Kyle S. & Christian G…..3/04 Leticia H. & Jada K……..1/09 Pat P. & Ashley D……….2/22 Anthony W. & TyJuan S..3/16 Kim J. & Joshua D……...1/10 Tom E. & Jacob B…….....2/23 David S. & Rico C……….3/27 Matt H. & Armon P……..1/21 Kayla M. & Alicia Z….....1/27 John D. & Curtis H……...1/31 “When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments; tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become.” ~ Louis Pasteur Ways to Build Respect By Dr. Michele Borba There are many ways people show respect to others, and the more aware that students are of what those actions look and sound like, the more likely they are to incorporate those behaviors in their daily lives.  Look up the definition of respect. Write it down. Now describe ways you have acted respectfully or disrespectfully this week.  Make a list of people you think are respectful and why you added them to your list.  Work alone or with a partner to create a song, a rap, or a chant about respect. Your words should tell why respect is important and how it could make the world a better place.  List five ways we could show greater respect for our environment.  What would you do if an adult was disrespectful to you? Suppose the grown-up yelled at you for something you didn’t do. What do you say? What do you do? Describe your answer in 50 words.  Design a bumper sticker about respect. Include on the bumper sticker: the word Respect, a motor or slogan for why you should use it and at least three words that describe it.  Suppose you’re invited to your friend’s home for a family dinner. What are some ways you could show respect and courtesy when your first arrive? At their table? When you leave? Write at least 50 words.  Cut a long strip of butcher paper 3 x 36” (or use adding machine tape). Roll each of the ends around a pencil and tape the ends to the pencil. Use crayons, colored pencils or ink pens to draw a scene of what respect looks and sounds like in action.  Make a campaign poster about respect. Make sure you include the word “Respect” and two reasons why someone would want to vote for having respect at your school. You could use construction paper, felt pens, crayons, magazine cut-outs and templates.  Look up the word “respect” in a dictionary. Find at least 10 different words that mean almost the same thing as “respectful.” These words are called synonyms. Write each synonym on a paper strip. Link your paper strips together to make a chain and staple the ends of each link.  Use glue to write on bright-colored paper a few statements that respectful people would say to put a smile on someone else’s face. Now carefully sprinkle the letters with glitter. You’ve made Sparkle Statements!  Read about John Muir. How did he show respect to the environment?  Cut out a newspaper or magazine article about a person who showed respect. What did they do to demonstrate respect?  Write a commercial about respect. Try to sell respect so others will want to start using it. For instance, say something positive that might happen in the world if more people showed respect to one another.  Create a recipe for respect. What ingredients do you need? http://www.micheleborba.com/Pages/BMI05.htm
  • 5. decorating, musical chairs, Wii and a “photo booth.” Friends First Updates Matches made holiday cards for themselves and to send to the residents of Deborah’s Place women’s shelter. Respect Respect does not fall into just one asset category in The Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets. Likely, you Friends First News could argue that it falls into all of them. What makes Mercy Home for Boys and Girls will celebrate 125 respect unique from all of other things that we strive to years of helping Chicago area youth in 2012. Friends instill in our youth, is that respect is both Internal and External as opposed to one or the other. Self respect and First will celebrate its 25th anniversary! To celebrate respect for others will lead youth to develop both their these exciting milestones, Friends First is launching a personal and social character. challenge to all of our matches. Our current match commitment is for mentors and mentees to meet 8 Friends First Fun! hours each month, totaling 96 hours per year. Our On Saturday, August 27th, nearly 100 mentors, mentees challenge: To see how many matches can meet 125 and their families and volunteers attended the Friends First hours this year, which is just over 10 hours each annual picnic. A wonderful mix of matches—both new month…details to follow. and veteran—enjoyed activities including corn hole, a water balloon toss, face painting, bozo buckets and a Friends First Tidbits fierce three-legged race. Grilled burgers and hot dogs “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me.” were served for all to enjoy. School supplies, courtesy of Centro, were distributed to all of our mentees as well as Aretha Franklin their siblings. Have a conversation with one another about how you define respect and how you practice self-respect and Friends First Coordinator, Yaresi Lopez, ran this year’s respect for others. Talk about a time you felt Chicago Marathon. Yaresi participated as part of Mercy disrespected and how you handled the situation. Home’s Chicago Heroes Team and raised over $1,100 for ~ Mary Quinn Mercy. You can be a Hero too! Consider running the 2012 marathon as a member of Mercy Home’s team. For more information visit http://www.mercyhome.org/ Happy Birthday!! marathon. The Friends First Halloween party hosted nearly 20 January matches this year. Mentors and youth who attended Dantrell W...………..……1/01 enjoyed pumpkin carving, a costume party, pizza and Najee N…………….…….1/07 other treats. They then headed the Chicago Park District’s Armon P………………….1/09 Trails of Terror at Theatre on the Lake for a spooky good Willie C…………………..1/10 time. KelishaW…………..….....1/24 Mercy Home’s annual Women’s Retreat took place on February October 29-20. Friends First staff member Diane Venzera Corey W………….………2/06 facilitated the programming around the topic of “Wholeness.” The theme allowed for women who play a Kaylin N………………….2/14 role in the lives of our Friends First, residential and Alicia Z……………….......2/22 AfterCare youth to explore the topic through self- Breanna K…….………….2/23 reflection, testimonials and group activities. Natiaxi C…………………2/29 Friends First Director, Katie Smith, recently joined March Mercy’s Communications Director, and former Friends Makayla B………...……..3/03 First mentor and Junior Board Member, Mick O’Grady, as Jordan M…..…………….3/04 guests on the Catholic Community of Faith show on 950 Aimiose I…………..……..3/08 AM Relevant Radio. Katie and Mick talked about Friends First and Mick’s experience as a mentor and tried to Sarah B………….…...…...3/09 recruit more mentors to take part in Yvonne S……….….…......3/21 Friends First. Lesly E………..…………..3/22 Marleni H………….……..3/22 The Friends first Holiday Party occurred on Saturday, December 10th. Nearly half of our matches attended—including our We love your match stories so please keep newest match and our longest standing match! The group enjoyed cupcake sharing them with us!
  • 6. Non-Profit Org. F R I E N D S F I R S T U.S POSTAGE PAID 1140 W. Jackson Boulevard Chicago, IL Chicago, IL 60607-2906 Permit No. 1513 Address Service Requested Things that Make You Go “Hmmm” There is a volcano within all of us that can erupt when things do not go our way. What should we do with these feelings: bite our tongue, roll our eyes, speak our mind even if you hurt people’s feelings, or get into a physical altercation? The answer is difficult to figure out sometimes given that there is no special book to read, or a song that can give us magic powers to be stress free all the time. We have a right to be upset. But we also have a conscience that allows us to decide where the conversation/ conflict will take us. In our mind, we have to weigh the good versus the bad, the interrupting versus the listening, and the assumptions versus the clarification. These decisions do not come by special invitation; they are choices that we have to make. Everyone has a sense of right and wrong and we also have tools that prevent us from crossing lines that disrespect others. One way to build a healthy persona is to try to understand other peoples’ points of view. Think how boring life would be if everyone liked the same thing or thought the same way. Understanding is building your own puzzle of the world, not by how you think it is, but how you discover things to be. Think of this example. Let’s say Sam begins to come across as rude since every time we have a conversation, he is constantly distracted by his cell phone. How would I know if he is expecting an important phone call? As a caring friend, I have to test our friendship by politely asking, “Am I interrupting an important discussion? Should we meet later, or should I give you a few minutes to take care of your important matter?” On the other hand, Sam has to be aware of the importance of the conversation. How is Sam going to know if I am discussing something really sensitive or important to me if his full attention is on his phone, rather than on listening to our conversation? When anyone is about to disrespect another human being, remember to test the water of friendship before jumping. This self-test can lead to a healthy, special relationship that is full of mutual RESPECT. ~ Alberto Paguada F R I E N D S F I R S T A newsletter dedicated to building and supporting the Friends First community of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls. For more information, please call (312) 738-7552 or visit www.mercyhome.org.