Learn how to recognize and manage your emotions. Spot the emotions in others. Become more skilled at managing the emotions in others. Have better relationships with those around you. Move from being emotional to emotional intelligence. All of this is necessary to truly be prepared for the future of work.

1. EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
Dr. Melissa Sassi
Chief Penguin, IBM Z
Student & Entrepreneur Experience
@mentorafrika
Adapted
from
EQ
Applied
by
Justin
Bariso
&
EQ
2.0

2. Chief
Penguin
DR. MELISSA SASSI
MY PURPOSE & PASSION
BE AN AND. NOT AN OR.
The intersection of tech, entrepreneurship & enabling
students & entrepreneurs to make meaningful use of the
internet.
Founder, Intrapreneur, Digital Inclusion Advocate, IBMer,
ex-Microsoftie, Academic, Keynote Speaker,
IEEE Digital Skills & Readiness Chair, Volunteer, Mentor.

3. THE ABILITY TO MONITOR
YOUR EMOTIONS TO GUIDE
YOUR THINKING AND
ACTIONS
WHAT IS
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE?

4. Who doesn't want to better understand & manage their
emotions, have better relationships & recognize how our
emotions impact our lives?
UNDERSTANDING
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
knowledge | experience | intelligence | education

5. HOW PEOPLE
BENEFIT FROM
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
Control your emotions by understanding them.
Prevent yourself from saying or doing something you might
regret later.
Learn to put your thoughts, feelings, and emotions in check.

6. - Self Awareness (YOU)
- Self Management (YOU)
- Social Awareness (OTHERS)
- Relationship Management (OTHERS)
THE 4 ABILITIES OF
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
FACTS
REQUIRE MORE THAN
Good decisions

7. 4 core
feelings.
The stronger the feeling, the
more it dictates our actions,
words & life.
Learn to spot triggers that
create emotional responses.
Create new habits.
ANGER
Presentations are
communication tools
that can be
demonstrations.
SHAME
Presentations are
communication tools
that can be
demonstrations.
HAPPINESS
Presentations are
communication tools
that can be
demonstrations.
FEAR
Presentations are
communication tools
that can be
demonstrations.

8. EQ = 50% of job performance.
EQ is the biggest predictor of leadership & personal excellence.
EQ DOESN'T IMPACT IQ
EQ can be learned & cultivated.
IQ DOESN'T IMPACT EQ
IQ is the ability to learn.
Personality
EQ
IQ
you

9. US workers with high EQ
earn $29K per year more.
Each point increase in EQ =
$1,300 more salary per year
across all levels &
industries within the US.
90%
of high performers have a high EQ
Investing
in
your
EQ
=
higher
salary

10. SELF AWARENESS
Identify & understand your own emotions.
Recognize how they positively and negatively impact you.
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
Get the most out of your relationships.
Build better bonds with others.
SOCIAL AWARENESS
Perceive the feelings of others accurately.
Tune into the wants and needs of others.
SELF MANAGEMENT
Manage your emotions to accomplish your goals.
Control how your react to your emotions.
WHAT ARE
THESE FOUR
ABILITIES
ANYWAY? others
others
you
you

11. COMMIT TO
BE A LEARN
IT ALL.
Develop a growth
mindset.
Learn how to
recognize when your
emotions spike.
KNOW
YOURSELF.
Identify your
strengths &
weaknesses.
Know when your
emotions work
against you.
ENGAGE
YOUR
SQUAD.
Ask your thrive hive
or your trusted
friends when your
emotions have
gotten the best of
you.
SELF
AWARENESS

12. WHEN DO YOU
ENFORCE CALM?
You have a sudden rush of adrenaline.
Your blood pressure is off the charts.
Your pulse is going crazy.
Your buttons have been pushed.

13. 8 OUT OF 10
PEOPLE WITH SELF
AWARENESS ARE TOP
PERFORMERS
BEING SELF AWARE & KEEPING YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK MAKE YOU
A BETTER PERFORMER AT WORK.

14. CONCENTRATE ON THE TASK AT HAND.
Don't let the sensations in the body distract you.
Breathe. Count to 10. Go for for a walk. Take a nap.
KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN CONTROL.
Overcome what you are feeling inside. Don't explode.
Talk to a skilled self-manager & visualize success.
PREPARE
Create an emotion vs. reason list. Put your inner bully in check
Make goals public. Take time to recharge.
HANDY TIPS
WHEN YOUR
EMOTIONS
ARE HIGH
DON'T MAKE QUICK DECISIONS.
Think before opening your mouth to pursue larger goals.
Set time aside for problem solving. See change around the corner.

15. PUT YOUR PAUSE
TO WORK.
Count to 10 or take a walk.
Avoid saying or doing
something you'll regret
later.
CHECK YOUR
VOLUME & TONE.
Speak in a rational voice.
Soften your tone & lower
your voice.
BREATHE.
BREATHE AGAIN.
Allow the other person to
express their feelings.
Resist the urge to respond
& focus.
CONCENTRATE &
LISTEN.
Try to understand other
perspectives.
Listen to understand, not
to reply.
AGREE TO REVISIT.
Revisit the topic when your
emotions are in check.
Don't be afraid to
apologize & be grateful for
other perspectives.
THINK ABOUT THE
FUTURE.
Forget about how you feel
right now & fast forward a
month, year, or five years.

16. SPEAK
when it counts.
Do I need to say
what I am about
to say?
Is now the right
time to say it?
Am I the one
who should say
it?

17. Emotions
I'm feeling emotion x
I'm feeling emotion y
I'm feeling emotion z
1.
2.
3.
What are my emotions saying?
Reason
Reason tells me x
Reason tells me y
Reason tells me z
1.
2.
3.
What is reason telling me?
This is your Emotion vs. Reason List
Creating an emotion vs. reason list forces balance.

18. Natural Style
I am direct or indirect?
I am comfortable or series?
I am entertaining or discreet?
I am controlled or chatty?
I am intense?
I am curious?
I am intrusive?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
What is my natural communication style?
Downsides
What are the downsides of my natural
communication style?
1.
What are the downsides of my natural
communication style?
This is your natural communication style.
Being aware of your natural communication style and the downsides help you better
communicate with others and spot when your style conflicts with others.

19. Don't make
permanent
decisions
based on
temporary
emotions!

20. Manage your
Mood.
- Emotions can be harmful if left unchecked.
- Acknowledge them.
- Remember...they are TEMPORARY.

21. Change
EMOTIONAL
into
Emotional
Intelligence.

22. Actions
Habits
Destiny
Character
Thoughts Words
- Frank Outlaw
Change your habits

23. Brains can be rewired.
You can change your habits.

24. Did I get it wrong?
GET
YOURSELF
TO THINK.
Did I misunderstand?
Why did I react the way I did?
Will my reaction help or harm?
How does play out in a month, year, or five years?
What would I change if I could get a redo?
What could I say to myself next time?

25. Change
how your
actions &
words
manage
the
emotional
stuff in life.

26. Change takes time.
focus | listen | observe

28. Create new
habits.
BE MOTIVATED TO CHANGE.
Be inspired to make others proud of you.
PRACTICE. PRACTICE. PRACTICE.
Do it over and over and over again.
DO THE THING.
Think more proactively when stressed.
DON'T GIVE UP
Think of new ways to respond.

29. Benefit &
learn from
feedback.
Accept it & see it
as a gift.
Kick your pride to
the curb & value it.
Use it as a catalyst
for change &
adapt.

30. No one is right
all the time.
Change into
by being aware of your emotions &
the emotions of others.

31. DON'T SEE EMOTIONS
AS GOOD & BAD.
ACCEPT
DISCOMFORT.
KNOW WHAT GIVES
YOU/OTHERS A RISE.
JOURNAL. STOP ASKING WHY.
STAY TRUE TO YOUR
VALUES.
KEYS TO SELF AWARENESS
CHECK YOURSELF. SEEK FEEDBACK.
GET TO KNOW
YOURSELF.

32. People
THINK HIGHLY
of others
WHO ACTIVELY SEEK
FEEDBACK.

33. People who
challenge you
M A K E Y O U A B E T T E R L E A D E R .
Be proud
of mini successes.

34. OF PEOPLE HAVE DIFFICULTY HANDLING
STRESS.
70%
Make the most out of all reactions: yours
and others.
Tap into your self awareness & self management to
achieve more social awareness. Curtail your emotions
to manage the emotions of others.

35. Empathy.
Understand the feelings
& thoughts of others.
UNDERSTAND | SHARE | HELP | TAKE ACTION

36. WRONG!
Y O U M I G H T
g e t i t
perspective
&
biases
W E A R E A L L L I M I T E D B Y O U R

37. Did you walk
in their
shoes? NOPE
Do you
understand
how others
feel? NOPE
When did you
feel the same
way?
Are you
struggling
with other
perspectives?

38. What to say when emotions
are high.
Listen, learn, empathize & practice.
Tell me more.
Thanks for
sharing.
I am sorry
that
happened.
I can imagine
how you feel.

39. What NOT to say when
emotions are high.
No interrupting or judging.
I get it 100%.
I completely understand.
I know exactly how you feel.
I have been through this.
Don't multitask.

40. Use emotionally intelligent
empathy & keep it in its place.
RECOGNIZE THE
EMPATHY SEEKER.
Don't be held hostage
by the suffering
victim.
REFLECT.
Think about what
helps you when your
emotions are high.
GIVE THANKS.
Thank others for sharing
their perspective,
thoughts & feelings.

41. Make the most out of your
relationships.
NOT AGAINST YOU.
U S E E M O T I O N A L I N T E L L I G E N C E
t o w o r k f o r y o u

42. with purpose.
Relationships
MANAGE

43. Relationship
Management
Get the best out of your relationships.
Inspire others to think differently.
Enable others to get the best out of you.
Live in the present & be willing to forgive.

44. Show others that you are genuinely interested.
If you ask follow-up questions and make
sure you got the story right, you could
avoid personal biases.
ASK QUESTIONS.
If you get the details before taking action
and not jump to conclusions, you might
also change your perspective.
BE CURIOUS & OPEN.
If you acknowledge the presence and
points of others, they are more likely to
acknowledge you.
ACKNOWLEDGE.
If you listen to other thoughts and
opinions, others will likely follow your
lead, even when they disagree. Care &
others will care.
LISTEN ATTENTIVELY.

45. KEEP A BALANCED VIEW OF
YOURSELF.
CHECK
YOURSELF
Be kind and fair.
Arrogance. Conceited.
Conviction. Confidence.
Body
language.

46. What about the
controversial stuff?
Don't attack a person's character.
Don't accuse the other person of lacking
common sense.
Reason with empathy.

47. We all have different points of view on
what's...
Sound Balanced
Fair Sensible
Culture & upbringing impact communication, values & feelings.

48. Increase your chances of reaching your goals
and have better relationships.
IDENTIFY SHARED
BENEFITS.
UNDERSTAND
YOUR AUDIENCE.
KNOW THE OTHER
PERSON'S
PRIORITIES.
REASON AROUND
THE OTHER
PERSON'S
PRIORITIES.
Be a partner and an ally.
Begin with where you
agree.
The goal is not to win but
to engage.
Read the room, learn
about your counterpart &
their culture.
Ask the right questions.
Encourage conversation.
Know what's important to
the other person.
Know when to back down.
Leave on a positive note.
Identify concrete
solutions to problems.
Provide persuasive &
accurate evidence from
trusted sources.

49. TELL STORIES.
Bring facts to life.
Everyone loves a great story.
Only sharing data = boring!
SHOW PASSION.
Enthusiasm is super
contagious.
Inspire your audience.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

50. TELL
your audience what you're
going to tell them.
TELL
your audience.
TELL
your audience what you just
told them.
AND...REPEAT AGAIN.
Don't forget the element of surprise!

51. Connect with
others to build
meaningful
relationships
based on
emotional
connections.
13
Express yourself clearly. Be consistent. People can't read minds.

52. BE GENUINE.
EVERYONE CAN SPOT
A FRAUD.
Authentic
Always be true to yourself.
Share your true thoughts & feelings with others.
Relatable.
People are drawn to authentic & relatable people.
Comfortable in your own skin.
Not everyone will appreciate you.
The ones who matter will.

53. Be humble.
You don't know everything.
Learn.
Ask for opinions.
Pay attention.
Apologize.
Be honest.
Don't try to always win.

54. People trust
what they see &
not what they
hear.
- Keep your word.
- Over-deliver.
- Don't rush to say yes right away.
- Feel responsible to follow through.
- Build trusting relationships.
- Go above & beyond.

55. Show love.
- Identify talents, strengths & good in others.
- Give sincere, authentic & spontaneous praise.
- Make people feel appreciated.
- Encourage good behavior.
thanks | please | sorry

56. Be specific.
Tell others what you appreciate & why.
Maintain balance & be constructive.
Conclude on a good note.

57. Protect yourself.
Some people are self-serving
& use emotional intelligence
to take advantage of you.
- Don't allow yourself to be manipulated.
- Take charge.
- Recognize the signs.
- Check the source of the information being shared.
- Don't let yourself be confused.
- Don't give into peer pressure.

58. Refusing to admit the other
person is angry.
Agreeing & then doing the
opposite.
Sulking or giving you the silent
treatment.
Performing the task
poorly...on purpose
Giving backhanded
compliments or responding
with sarcasm.
Claiming they were not
aware.
Use your EQ when you see others' EQ in motion.

59. Stop.
Think.
Apply.

60. Let your
emotions work
for you. Not
against you.
Don't overthink.
Agree to make yourself better.
Protect yourself when needed.
Enjoy the here and now.

61. 1
Feel.
2
Think.
3
Learn.
4
Pause.
The Secret Sauce of EQ
10 Steps to rock your EQ and achieve your goals.
5
Empathize.
6
Praise.
7
Apologize.
8
Forgive.
9
Control.
10
Learn.

62. Questions to ask yourself.
What physical
symptoms do
you feel when
your emotions
are high?
Physical
Symptoms
What changes
will you make this
week? Next
month?
Change
When will it be
hard to manage
your emotions?
Difficult Times
What did you
discover about
yourself?
Discovery
Have you ever
felt hijacked by
your emotions?
Emotional
Hijack

63. Get your copy of
this presentation
now!
ibm.biz/ms-emotional-intelligence

64. Thank you.
DR. MELISSA SASSI
Chief Penguin, IBM Z
Student & Entrepreneur Experience
@mentorafrika