Eq2011interiorforweb

Discovering
Emotional Intelligence

MSBCoach, LLC.
501 West Main Street
Charlottesville, VA 22903
+1 804 502 4319 Telephone
+1 434 293 5758 Telephone

E-mail: info@msbcoach.com
Web: www.msbcoach.com

2 | Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence
The Other Kind of Intelligence

This workshop is “real life” – not theoretical. The results are
transformative to learning and change! The bestseller “Emotional
Intelligence” by Goleman made revolutionary changes to the idea of
“being smart”, showing us how Emotional Intelligence (EQ) can lead
to greater success in life more than IQ. When it comes to
leadership, 90% of star performers are identified or differentiated by
their EQ. This workshop focuses on useful on–the-job application
and provides a self assessment so that participants are able to take
specific steps to increase their Emotional Intelligence.

Participants will…
EQ Model Recognize the most important
components of emotional
intelligence, the history and the
advantage to an individual, team and
organization.
EQ Assessment Complete an EQ assessment that
identifies their ability to use EQ skills
and competencies in order to create
change, shape relationships,
understand and appreciate emotions
in yourself and others as well as how
to be smart with your emotions.
Engaging Activities Take part in powerful activities that
increase their understanding of EQ
competencies and how they act out
their EQ in following areas:

501 West Main Street, Charlottesville, VA 22903
T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319
info@msbcoach.com www.msbcoach.com

Emotional Intelligence | 3

Self Awareness: The capacity to
distinguish and understand your
moods, emotions and drivers
Self Management: The capacity to
control or redirect your inner
emotions so that your inner
state doesn’t necessarily match
your outer state and manage
your outcomes in emotionally
charged situations
Social Awareness: The capacity to
discern, and connect with others
emotions, to handle people
according to their emotional
reactions and to be aware of
how you are perceived by others
Relationship Management:
Competency in managing
relationships and building
networks; the ability to find
common ground, engage others
and build connections
Discover: the Triangle of
Success and the Cycle of
Improvement
Action Planning Plan goals and strategic on-the-job
activities to ensure growth on their
self-identified areas for change and
continued development.
At the end of this workshop participants will be able to:
 Utilize EQ insights as a resource for personal and
organizational change.
 Recognize individual strengths and developmental
needs.
 Create a specific action plan for continuous learning
which links their goals and personal values.

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Discovering Emotional Intelligence

What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?
1. Abilities & skills that _______ us with
emotional insight, ________ , and
information.
2. Learning EQ opens our ______ to personal
______ and goals.
3. Creates opportunities to ______
appropriately, build rewarding ______, make
intentional choices, and gain ______.
4. Increases ______ of our own emotional
______ and respect and _______ for others.
5. Success is __% EQ and __% IQ
6. The Center for Creative Leadership shows
__ % of executives fail due to poor
____________ ____________.

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Triangle of Success

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Emotionally Intelligent Teams

EQ improves our ______, team functionality and
profitability through: (The Emotionally
Intelligent Team)

a. Team & personal ___________

b. Motivation

c. Emotional awareness

d. _________________

e. Stress tolerance

f. Conflict resolution skills

g. ____________ mood

h. ____________ & physically healthy

i. Creative

j. ____________

k. Energized

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Circle of Improvement

TRAP

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


EQ with Self
Self-awareness =
the awareness of what is happening internally.

Self-awareness of your:
 Personal emotional state
 Multiple emotions surging at the same time
 Emotions can operate unconsciously
 Ability to use words to explain how you feel
Being self-aware will help you to accept your
emotions, to feel more emotionally balanced, and
live in harmony with your moral sense.

Self-Awareness helps you to:
 Gain awareness of different emotions
 Gain an accurate knowledge and assessment
of yourself
 Increase your self-confidence
 Become more comfortable in your own skin

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Self-management =
the ability to recognize that your internal emotional
state does not have to correspond to your behavior.

Self-Management helps you to strengthen and cope
with emotionally stressful situations through managing
and regulating your emotions.

Self-Management gives you improved:
 Self-control
 Trust
 Consciousness
 Adaptability
 Achievement drive
 Initiative
 Confidence

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


EQ with Others
Social awareness =
the ability to increase your understanding of others’
emotions based on recognizing situations, reading
body language, non-verbal cues, and
emotional feedback provided.

Social awareness allows you to understand how
others view you as well as how you perceive others.

Social awareness provides a capacity for empathetic
and sympathetic connection with an individual or
involvement in a group's experience.

Social-Awareness gives you:
 Empathy
 Sympathy
 Service orientation
 Organizational awareness
 Trustworthiness
 Better relationships

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Relationship management =
Increases your understanding that what you
express emotionally has an impact on others
and takes this into account when dealing with
others and building relationships.

Relationship management creates awareness that the
nature of relationships (individually or in a group) is
determined by how emotions are communicated
within relationships — positive or negative— as well as
understanding how the other three areas of EQ affect
one’s relationships.

Relationship Management helps you:
 Develop others
 Gain influence
 Improve communication
 Manage conflicts
 Improve leadership
 Become a change catalyst
 Build strong bonds
 Increase teamwork and collaboration

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


EQ : Self-Awareness
This self-assessment is designed to help you think about
emotional intelligence and how it relates to your
personal and professional life.

Answer each statement of the items below, thinking
about your typical response to situations. For the best
results, you need to answer honestly. “To thine own self
be true.”

Subtotal as directed after each
of seven statements.

1. I lose my cool or respond in ways that I would prefer
not to in certain situations.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


2. During times of disorder and change, I am aware of
my emotional gut reaction.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

3. When having a rough conversation with my
manager, I am sometimes surprised by my emotions,
and can find myself crying or lashing out.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

4. I am a positive and upbeat person.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


5. I am unaware of the nuances that lead different
conversations to turn out in ways I did not expect.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

6. Under pressure, I get distracted and have difficulty
concentrating.

 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


7. I find it natural to talk about my emotions.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

Total Self-Awareness Score: _____

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


EQ : Self-Management
1. I have a strong sense of personal purpose that
keeps me focused despite issues or other
organizational pressures that distract me.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

2. When my leader asks me to do something that I feel
is unnecessary, or is something better handled by one
of my direct reports, I do it – but I find myself stewing
about it later on.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


3. I can stay calm even in the most difficult of
circumstances.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

4. Stress is something I experience...
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

5. I find myself irritated or impatient when others do
not respond as I would like them to.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


6. I have big mood swings.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

7. You overhear two co-workers talking about how
lousy one of your presentations was. Your reaction is to
get upset, worry about the comment for days and/or
avoid saying anything to the two people.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

Total Self Management Score ___

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Notes and ideas:

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


EQ : Social Awareness

1. I find it "easy" to read other people's emotions.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

2. I find that others' reactions to the challenges that we
are working through tend to cloud the issues, serving
as an obstacle to our moving forward and causing us to
get off track.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


3. I find myself caught off guard by the reactions of
others. It seems their emotions well up out of
nowhere.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

4. When I need to confront my leader about a
challenging situation, I can sense his/her response by
slight non-verbal cues – and often know the answer
before he/she even provides it.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

5. I find it easy to understand the key drivers that make
others respond and behave the way that they do.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


6. I am uneasy in a number of different social settings.
Some might say I am shy or have difficulty in
connecting with others.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

7. I am a focused listener and I pick up on subtle
emotional and non-verbal cues.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

Total Social Awareness Score ____

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Notes and ideas:

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


EQ: Relationship Management

1. I find that differences among and between the
members of my group are a hindrance to higher
levels of performance.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

2. When people get angry, defensive, or difficult, I find
that the best way to deal with them is to put them in
their place by whatever means necessary – or I simply
ignore them.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


3. I find it simple to connect and collaborate with
others.
 0 Almost Never
 1 Rarely
 2 Sometimes
 3 Usually
 4 Almost Always

4. Assume that one of your team members provided an
insufficient report to your leadership while you were
out of the office. You have talked with this person a
number of times previously about the depth of the
information needed in the report. In addition, you
specifically told him/her that all reports must go
through the acting manager in your absence rather
than your boss. This one did not.

You call the person who wrote the insufficient report
into your office, you let them have it in no uncertain
terms by sternly telling him/her how wrong they were.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


5. You overhear several colleagues at the “water
cooler” griping about another peer. Despite knowing
better, you fall prey to adding your thoughts on the
situation.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

6. You are the leader on a cross-divisional project
team. Two members of the team continually fight and
argue. Aside from asking them to be quiet, you are
uncertain about what to do.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


7. When attempting to voice an opinion that is
different from the current line of thought, I find myself
either buckling under the pressure of others or arguing
heatedly for my point of view.
 0 Almost Always
 1 Usually
 2 Sometimes
 3 Rarely
 4 Almost Never

Total Relationship Management Score: ___

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


EQ Assessment
Self- Self- Social Relationship
Awareness Management Awareness Management
28
27
26
25
24
23
22
21
20
19
18
17
16
15
14
13
12
11
10
09
08
07
06
05
04
03
02
01

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Assessment Key

For each category, write your score in the line provided.
Shade in the box next to the appropriate number on the
chart on page 30 to create a graphical representation of
your overall score.

Self-Awareness: ______________

Self-Management: ______________

Social Awareness: ______________

Relationship Management: ______________

What your scores mean:

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Self Reflection

1. After taking the EQ assessment I discovered my
strengths are:

2. After taking the EQ assessment, I learned I can focus
my energy to increase my EQ in these areas:

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


3. What is one thing I can do to improve my EQ?

4. How will improving my EQ affect me professionally
(i.e. co-workers, employees, etc.)?

5. How will increasing my EQ affect my life personally
(i.e. self-confidence, relationship building, etc.)?

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Emotional Intelligence Activity

Partner Discussion
Discuss the following with your partner.
Be as emotionally honest as you can.

1. My greatest stress at work is...

2. What energizes me at work is...

3. The way I can build on those energizers is...

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


4. When I am stressed at work, I tend to...

5. I think a more emotionally intelligent response
would be to...

6. Conduct an empathy check. Paraphrase what your
partner just stated about work stress and reactions.
Ask your partner if you have captured his/her feel-
ings adequately.

7. As I think about how I connect with others at work,
I think I need to...

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Strengthening Your EQ:
Self-Awareness

1. Think: Identify a recent experience where you wish
you had responded differently.
 What were you feeling?
 How did those feelings drive your reactions?
 What outcome did you get?
 How would you like the outcome to be different?
 What can you do to create that?

2. Engage: Become aware of your feelings & WHY they
are present (what values or principles are violated?)
Identify ways to manage your feelings and reactions.

3. Request: Effective, productive, thoughtful
feedback from peers, leadership, direct reports, or
friends/family. Remember you can only change and
control your own behavior, not anyone else’s.

Proper Confrontation: I feel __________ when
_________. I prefer _________.

Ask yourself – What can I do differently to bring
about the desired change?

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Self-Management
1. Manage Yourself: From self-awareness you have
become aware of your positive and negative feelings.
Now you can identify the source and better manage
your responses.

2. Journaling: is a good way to become more aware of
outcomes in emotionally charged situations and
processing through how you can take ownership to
change the outcome.

3. Wait: Take the necessary time before you confront
or respond, to be sure you are in control. This will allow
you to think through all the possibilities and respond
appropriately. This will also help you build trust.

4. Be In Control: When you practice self-management,
you will be in better control and feel more confident.

“Seek to understand before being understood.”
– Steven Covey

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Social Awareness

The following questions will help you identify areas you
can focus on to improve your social awareness:

1. Do others think my expectations are unrealistic?

2. How would helping others be beneficial?

3. What do others need from me to be successful?

4. How can I be more aware and attentive to others’
needs?

5. How can I address challenges in a neutral/non-
confrontational way?

6. What behaviors do I have that hinder others?

7. Am I willing to ask colleagues, leadership, direct
reports, friends or family for honest feedback in the
above areas?

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319


Relationship Management
The following questions will help you identify areas you
can focus on to improve your relationships:

1. What do my relationships look like?

2. Am I pleased with my current relationships?

3. What is the cost of vulnerability to me?

4. What keeps me from opening up to more
meaningful relationships?

5. What can I do to develop more trust in my
relationships?

6. Do I have work relationships that support me and
give honest feedback?

7. What can I do to expand my professional network?

8. Am I willing to ask colleagues, leadership, direct
reports, friends or family for honest feedback in the
above areas?

T: 434.293.5758 C: 804.502.4319

Eq2011interiorforweb

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